Authors: Joseph Pidoriano
I don’t believe this is real and even though I think I am in a feature animation film, the atomic conscience completely fades away and right now, I am coming back into a cartoon reality of giving the people - the two soon-to-be employees – a job. But, anyway, I shall go on with the tour. I ask in a phony baloney nice way, “Why don’t we continue with our tour?” The two folks complied with me. As the path continues and the sidewalk ends up into an alley, the side walk starts falling.
For some reason, at this point, the Muscle head decides that I should know his real name IS Iron Steel. I still think this name is stupid but of course I don’ say it out loud and I just thank him. So, Iron Steel decides to touch his magical
and hits a button so the sidewalk that he is standing on turns into pathways. He said to his tall and slender basketball player of a friend, “Say, what does this little, crazy thingamajig do?” The basketball player guy, replies, “Oh, it brings a sidewalk effect in.” As Iron Steel, laughs in a snort, he touches the button. The button caused this new sidewalk to start falling. As the sidewalk starts falling and sliding, it starts to erode, and the erosion caused the sidewalk to turn green and mossy with lichen soil. Now the soil starts to erode, the sidewalk turns into a path way of approximately seven different blocks. Block number one falls and block number one is closest to the curb of Golden Lane. After the first block falls into the abyss, block number two falls but slowly.
Unfortunately Tom Jackson is on this block. Tom Jackson is now trying to climb to block number three, and Tom Jackson’s block falls into the abyss.
Tom Jackson, screams “Whoa! Oh my God!”
Right after Tom
Jackson, Mr. Iron Steel falls! All of a sudden Iron Steel is looking to me, “What are you going to do? Are you going to sit there or help me out of this mess?”
I replied, “Well, gee, smart one, does it make any sense in helping you when I am going to enter the abyss next?” He replies, “No, absolutely not” and he falls into the abyss.
Last, my pathway block falls into the white, misty abyss, and I hold on to my block in case their magical wand on their
makes a trampoline that bounces up back to the real world.
The block that I was holding onto for dear life was heading into the white, misty abyss. This block had my hands on both sides of the tips of the block and the block seemed to weigh twenty pounds which would add some weight to my one hundred and sixty pound body; this is the ideal weight for a fifty year old and since this was the year 2047, I was quite fit for a six-foot-five fifty year old. Now, I shall get back to the abyss story.
Throughout the misty clouds I finally drove my magical, gravity defying block, to the two guys, Iron Steel and Tom Jackson.
Iron Steel asked me, “Why didn’t you rescue me from falling into this massive, eternally bottomless pit?” I replied, “How on Earth can I save you if I am also going? Would it make any sense to save somebody else when you are going yourself?” Iron Steel took two minutes to reply and then said “Are you asking me a rhetorical question?”
Now I answered in a snobbish way, “Do you even know what a rhetorical question is?” Mr. Steel replied, “Of course I know what a rhetorical question is?” Then, I answered like a wise guy, “Well, Mr.
Steel, why are you hanging out with a guy who is a nose picking, frizzy haired, imbecile.” Iron Steel fought back, as he was holding onto his block, “Hey, you, first of all, why are you calling my friend Tom Jackson all those crazy names? Second of all, why are you livid?” I answered, “I am livid because..” as I was interrupted by Iron Steel’s saying, “....And third of all, DON’T call me Mr. Steel!”
Mr. Steel was saying this in a condescending way. He was the ultimate, muscle head, person. He kind of looked like one of the M.
Strong action figures in his build. So I guess I kind of feared him.
However, this time I ignored it. I said to him again in a smart aleck and spiteful kind of way, “Well, Mr. Steel”, and as Iron Steel heard me say that, on his falling block similar to mine, he started growling again in that animalistic type of way.
Followed by that, he seemed to be turning into a primitive werewolf. It was like that. Everyone was heading into another universe including Tom Jackson who chose not to get involved in the conversation or argument that Iron Steel and I were having at the moment.
Tom Jackson, the basketball player type of guy was indeed listening to a Walkman/mp3 player which was so 1990’s and 2000’s.
Because the Green Company made a business acquisition on the mp3
player a couple of years ago, two years to be exact, it had to be very extraordinary. This mp3 player would be the future in DJ (Disc Jockey) technology.
So, Tom Jackson in the distance morphed the songs that he was playing together which sounded like a pretty interesting remix.
Iron Steel and I meanwhile were fighting and arguing. I said to Iron Steel, “Well, Mr. Steel,” and he got angry that I said that to him again, “So if you don’t want me to call you Mr. Steel, then, shall I call you Mrs. or Ms. Steel?”
The magical wand on his
mini automatically did
what the person in the surrounding area would say and Iron Steel’s clothes magically changed from a strong, intimidating, monster truck style of garb, to a stay at home mom type of style. (Now there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom – it’s just a way to describe his casual clothing change.) His shirt started changing colors from orange to pink. And emerging from the top of his head was a bow. He started becoming angrier. His face was turning red, and salty sweat was coming down the sides of his face, and the veins in his face were petruding like crazy. Iron Steel never had been this angry before.
But, wait there’s more.
So Iron Steel was becoming angrier, the angriest he has ever been, and eventually, his face started becoming as red as a lobster.
Before he knew it he started growing claws and turning into a giant, scorpion-like lobster. His anger was over the top. He said to me, “What in the name of Scorpio are you doing!?”
I said to him,
“Why are asking me that? All I am doing is standing on my...” He interrupted, “You are standing on what?!” I asked him, “What do you mean by the question, ‘What in the name of Scorpio are you doing?’”
Iron Steel replied in a very condescending way, “Why are you asking me and questioning me on the question I asked about Scoprio?”
I still stood up to him and said, “Why do you mention Scorpio in the sentence that you say?” He said in a nasty way, “Why on Earth do you need to know?” I said to him, “The reason why I want to...”
This beastly Iron Steel interrupted me again, “And I suppose?” and I now interrupted him “I just simply want to know why you used the preposition, ‘in the name of Scorpio.’”
Mr. Steel replied, “Find then, I’ll tell you just because of the fact that you really want to know why I used the name Scorpio. The reason why I used the name Scorpio was because of the fact that I believe in a Greek Deity.” Iron Steel continues by asking a rhetorical question, “Why do you think that I believe in a Greek Deity?” “Well, the reason why I believe in a Greek Deity,...”
Then, he stops and asks me “Say, Do you know,”
pauses and says, “what do you call those Greek Deity followers today?” I say to him, “Well you call them, Modern Polytheistic Folks.” This conversation was strange. Then he replied, “Okay that’s nice to know.” I think to myself, wait a second, it is not typical to be hearing nice things and also noticing the fact that he seems to be a very well-spoken person.
As Iron Steel, Tom Jackson and I start going down further, the three of us approach an orb. I guess all three of us start knowing each other, and now we are all heading to the same place. And if you are wondering where “the same place” is, it is called the “Unknown Universe.” I notice I am starting to become nicer as I along with the other two approached the orb. The other two are also becoming nicer.
This orb is getting wider as we get nearer. Finally, I say to Iron Steel, “Do you want to go into the orb first?” Iron Steel replies, “Well, no, but, if you want, I’ll jump in.” Then I replied, “You know what, I don’t want you to jump into this magical orb?” Iron Steel said, “What do you mean that it is magical?”
I answered, “I said that it was magical because of what you normally see in the movies.” Iron Steel said, “Yes!” I continued, “When you see them in some movies, orbs are magical and are like little time machines that are used as teleportation devices that could teleport you into another time and even into another universe!”
For us, however, this orb was not magical - this was an orb that was reality. From a distance of approximately 2,000 feet away the orb looked very small and swirly. It seemed to be approximately eight feet wide by six feet tall from that distance. But now the orb got bigger, and as we started closing in on fifteen hundred feet the orb appeared to double in size. Finally the orb appeared to become a size of approximately twenty-five feet in diameter.
This orb swirled slowly as if corn starch was mixed with different food colorings, and the fact was, except for the color, the orb appeared to look very similar to the Milky Way Galaxy up in outer space in
universe. But we knew this was another Universe we were heading into. In fact, it was a universe where our personalities started to change. My personality started to become surprisingly nicer and much less of a snob.
Iron Steel’s personality started to become less of a tough guy and as a result he started becoming less abrasive towards Tom and me. Tom Jackson started to become smarter in a miraculous way and also started to become more sociable instead of continuously listening to his Walkman. Tom Jackson would often use a Walkman because he liked to use outdated technology. As we were approaching this magical orb, Tom Jackson’s Walkman slipped out of his hands and he was trying to grab onto it.
He said, “What on earth is going on?”
I said to him nicely,
“We are not on earth anymore. We are in another universe. I don’t know how this happened. However, your magical
5 Mini somehow caused us to end up in this situation.” Tom Jackson questioned this. “What do you mean the
got us into this situation?” I answered, “Of course it did; if that magic button was not on your
we wouldn’t have ended up like this. In the end though, we did, and now we have to solve the problem. He said, “Okay then, how do we solve it?” I answered, “I don’t know what to do. I have no experience in another universe. I have only been on earth for fifty years. How in the nine hundred million universes can I solve this?” Tom Jackson asked again, “How can you solve this?”
I was frustrated but nicely said, “I don’t know!”
Still he asked
again, “What are we going to do then?” An idea popped into my head.
“Okay, this is what we will do.” Before I could finish, the whole conversation was interrupted by a sudden fall onto a big white surface. It had the shape of a cloud but the surface was flat.
We were in the middle of nowhere. I said to both Iron Steel and Tom Jackson, “What in this universe happened? We ended up on a hard surface!” Iron Steel replied, “This doesn’t feel like a hard surface!”
Tom Jackson answered in a sarcastic way, “Really, Steel, this is much harder than a rock that is stuffed with a million tons of metal.
The reason why the surface didn’t feel hard to you is ‘cause there is metal that stuffed into you. You are practically made of metal. That is probably one of the reasons why your parents named you ‘Iron Steel’.”
Iron Steel replied in his old self type of a way, a nasty and condescending way, to his friend Tom Jackson, “Really ‘Jackson’, you know what you are made of?” Tom Jackson once again answered in a smart aleck way. “No, Steel, What am I made of? Come on give me your best punch?” Iron Steel said, “Okay” as he started to draw his fists and get ready to punch Tom Jackson, “You are made of twigs!
That is what you are made of.”
Iron Steel starts to punch Tom and Tom Jackson turned around and crossed his arms and said to Iron Steel, “Guess what?” Iron Steel stopped and held his punch and said, “What?” Tom Jackson continued and said, “All you are is a brainless, muscle head, clear headed toad!”
Iron Steel answered to Tom Jackson’s insult and told Tom Jackson, “Hey Tom, turn around!”
Iron Steel said, “This is what you get for insulting me.”
Steel drew a sudden punch. KA POW! And Tom Jackson was knocked out in a heartbeat. For a second there you could see circles of birds tweeting and then a snore comes out of Tom Jackson’s mouth.
Now it was Iron Steel saying in a sarcastic way, “Sweet Dreams, Tom!” Now, in a cartoon when somebody gets knocked out, it is typical to see birds flying and tweeting in circles and “Z” like snores coming out of somebody when that particular person is sleeping.
But we were in another universe and it was typical to see the “Z” like snores and those other things in this other dimension or universe for real. So, they say some things just last for a fleeting amount of time and the things that lasted for an evanescent amount of time was our personality changes. Iron Steel gradually started becoming a tough guy again, and I started becoming a snobbish person again. I was noticing my attitude had a big mouth and once again I had a lot of audacity.
I asked Iron Steel, “Why did you punch your friend in the face?” He said, “First of all, he is not my “friend” and second of all, he is not the tough guy of the group. I am.” I commented sarcastically, “Oh, you sure are the tough guy of the group.” He said, “Were you just sarcastic to me?”
I answered, “Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?”
said, “Well, are there any security guards around here?” And he started to look very speedily around to see if there were any. I said to him, “No fool!”
He asked, “Did you just call me fool?”
I said again