The Disappearing Girl (12 page)

“What the hell is she doing?” Lila hissed in my ear.

“I have no idea,” I whispered back.

It wasn’t true. I was fully aware of what she was doing. She was trying to prove she could have what was mine if she wanted it. In the past, I always retreated to the sidelines to allow her to shine. It was one of the reasons I never said anything when boys I liked would come over to simply gape at my mother in her revealing outfits. But this was Cameron. She couldn’t have
him
.

Cameron’s voice broke into my inner thoughts. “I’m really glad your daughter agreed to give me a shot. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since we met.” Although he was addressing my mother, his eyes didn’t leave mine.

My mother smiled indulgently at us both. “I’m glad to see Kayla is finally dating someone, especially someone as handsome as you. I was worried she’d never find anyone since she has a tendency to be a wallflower.”

Better than an attention whore, I silently seethed, but I kept my mouth shut. “Should I check on dinner?” I forced out.

“No, I’ll get it,” she said and breezed out of the room.

My shoulders relaxed once she was out of sight. Lila blew out a shaky breath. We were constantly in suspended animation under my mom’s watchful eyes. She was our puppet master, her moods deciding how Lila and I would react. Cameron’s expression was questioning.

“Is everything okay?”

Maybe I was the problem. Perhaps all mothers were like mine and I was only imagining her oppressiveness. Cameron didn’t look like anything was amiss, so maybe it was all in my head.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I answered quickly. I moved over to the couch and brushed my leg against his.

“I’m only asking because you seem tense. Were you nervous your mom wouldn’t like me?” Cameron asked and massaged my shoulders.

I didn’t answer at first. Instead, I focused on the feel of his hands on me. The truth was I hadn’t mentioned my mother very often around Cameron, aside for telling him how difficult she was to be around. How could I explain the complexities of my love/hate relationship with her? Our relationship was at the center of most of my problems and I didn’t want him to see that side of my life. A couple of complaints here and there probably didn’t clue him in to how awful she could truly be.

Lila snorted. “You didn’t warn him our mom is a raving bitch.” Her voice was low enough that it didn’t carry out of the room. Lila was as complacent as I was, and she wouldn’t want to deal with my mother’s fury.

“Lila,” I admonished.

“What?” She held her hands up. “It’s true. Tell me you didn’t want to jump on top of her just now and strangle her for hitting on your boyfriend.”

“She was hitting on me?” Cameron’s face was an innocent mask. “I thought she was only being nice.”

Lila shook her head ruefully. “Kayla really didn’t tell you about how Charlotte Marlowe operates.” Leaning forward, she said, “My mom will work her moves on you until you’re drooling over her and offering to leave Kayla for a chance with her. She’s like the Wicked Queen from Snow White and there’s only room for one fairest of them all in this house.”

“Lila, that’s enough,” I whispered. I gripped the edge of the couch cushions tightly before saying to Cameron, “She’s joking.”

Suddenly, I knew it was a mistake. I should’ve never brought Cameron here. Lila was bitter and angry, hating my mother, wishing she’d been the one to die instead of my father. I was a tragedy in the making, despondent unless I had my boyfriend by my side. My mother was conceited and selfish, not caring about either of us enough to realize how messed up her daughters both were.

And now Cameron was looking uncomfortable. Lila’s eyes softened when she saw my distraught expression. “I’m exaggerating,” she told him. “My mom isn’t that bad. I’m sixteen, so I have the whole teen angst thing going on.”

Cameron smiled politely as I mouthed “thank you” in Lila’s direction behind his back. My mother called us for dinner and I hurried into the dining room. I couldn’t wait for the disastrous night to come to an end.

My mother served us after we sat down. Cameron’s plate was close to the point of overflowing with the sausage and peppers she placed on it. My portion was miniscule in comparison, but I wasn’t surprised, since serving a fatty meal was an anomaly in itself for my mother.

With Cameron seated next to me, his hand resting on my knee, I relaxed. Cameron was a salve to all the wounds inside me. But as I thought it over, I had a sense of foreboding. This couldn’t be good, the way I was becoming dependent upon him. I should be strong, self-reliant.

Cameron dug into his meal and complimented my mother on her fantastic cooking. She preened and faked false modesty. I sliced through the sausage and pushed the pieces around my plate. As the conversation surrounded me, I created patterns with the pieces. Cameron squeezed my knee softly to grab my attention. “You should try the sausage, you’ll really like it.”

“I’m not hungry,” I muttered.

We caught my mother’s interest from across the table. “Kayla has been doing wonderfully keeping up with her diet. I honestly didn’t think she had the willpower.” Pointing to my sister eating a piece of sausage, she remarked, “Lila, on the other hand …”

“Mom,” I interrupted softly.

“My girls take after my husband’s family, they’re all rather heavyset. I had thought about taking them to their doctor to rule out a thyroid problem, but I figured the problem was they were eating too much junk.

“But all it took was a little bit of effort, and Kayla now looks a hundred times better.” My mother smiled serenely at me. I detested her at that moment. I hated my father, too, for deeming her worthy of his love.

“I don’t know you and maybe I’m out of line for saying this, but I can’t believe the things you’re saying about your daughters.”

I stole a glance at Cameron. A muscle ticked in his jaw and his back straightened up as he glared at my mother.

My mother’s eyes narrowed. “You
are
out of line.”

“Do you know Kayla barely eats? I take her out to dinner and she stares at the food like she’s scared of it. I thought Kayla was being coy when she’d get embarrassed when I complimented her. Now I understand why she has such a low opinion of herself.” Cameron rose to his feet.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m only trying to help my daughters. You’re kidding yourself if you think that you would’ve looked at Kayla twice before she lost the weight.”

Cameron pulled me to my feet. Tears blurred my vision and I felt the room tilt. “Kayla, look at me,” he commanded. When I didn’t comply, he used his hand to turn me toward him. His tone was kind. “Why don’t you get your and Lila’s jackets? We’ll take her out for ice cream.”

“Lila is
not
going out for ice cream.”

My mother sounded livid. I couldn’t bear to look at her. I was humiliated Cameron had come to my home and felt forced to stick up for my sister and me. Lila and I were brainwashed into believing every word my mother said. Most days, it never even occurred to me I should disagree with her.

“Let’s go, Lila,” I said and held out a hand for her. Her fork clanged against her plate loudly when she dropped it abruptly. After shooting my mother an uncertain look, she nodded and grasped my hand. Hand-in-hand we walked away from my mother’s outraged cries.

“I’m sorry,” Cameron said when Lila went to refill her ice cream cup.

“For what?”

I swirled the vanilla frozen yogurt in my cup with the spoon before giving him a confused look. The car ride had been silent. Once we arrived at the ice cream shop, Lila had tried to snap us out of our funk by sharing a few funny stories about her fellow classmates. I laughed because it stopped me from sobbing.

“I didn’t have any right to come to your house and talk to your mom like that.” His expression was tortured. “I understand if you’re pissed at me—”

I didn’t let him finish. “I’m not mad, I’m embarrassed. I should’ve warned you more about how my mom was before I had you come over. It was foolish to hope we could be a normal family for the night.”

“Kayla, the stuff your mom said …” He paused. “You have to realize none of it’s true. You’re amazing and the reason I’m with you has nothing to do with your weight.”

“I know,” I said automatically, understanding it was what he needed to hear. He needed to be reassured of his decency, his ability to see beyond how I looked on the outside. He wouldn’t want to admit his own vanity and concede his unwillingness to date someone overweight.

“Kayla, I’ve noticed how much thinner you are since we first met and how little you eat.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, hinting at his unease at broaching this topic. “It’s not healthy. And now that I’ve met your mom, a lot of stuff I’ve been trying to figure out about you is starting to become clearer.”

“Please don’t psychoanalyze me after one meeting with my mother,” I begged in a small voice.

“Kayla, I care about you and I’m only trying to look out for you. I really feel like you’re starving yourself because of the warped things your mother says about you—”

I pressed my palm over his mouth to silence him. “I’m fine. I’ve probably taken the dieting thing too far, so I see where your concern is coming from. But things are good now. I have you and…” I trailed off and shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. “I’m happy. It felt amazing to see someone stand up to my mother.” I pulled my hand away and gave him a hesitant smile. The torn expression remained fixed on his face and his lips turned down into a deep frown.

“Come back with me tonight. You can stay with me at the apartment until classes start up again next week.” He looked over at Lila, who was requesting ice cream samples from the cute guy behind the counter. “Your sister can stay with us, too.”

He was sweet, earnest, and deserved so much more than I could give him. “Lila has school and I promised to spend the week with her. Her spring break isn’t until the end of the month. Why don’t I stay at your place after dinner at your parents’ house on Friday?”

Cameron gave a reluctant nod. “I hope I didn’t make things worse for you with your mom. She seems too demanding about what she expects from you and your sister.”

I laughed humorlessly. “It seems funny now when I think about how you asked if your car was a deal breaker. You had no idea what you were getting into by asking me out.”

He didn’t join in with my laughter. “Kayla, I’m not perfect. I’ve gone through rough patches and allowed the wrong kind of people to control my life.”

“Why? What have you been through?”

“Not now. We’ll save those depressing stories for a rainy day,” he answered.

I was desperate to pull back the curtain and reveal what was beneath Cameron’s cheerful façade. Yet it didn’t feel like the right time. He was like me in that way: We loathed burdening others with our problems, and I could tell turning the conversation toward him was unnerving him.

He pleaded, “Please don’t let your mom make you feel bad about yourself while you’re home.”

I smiled tightly at him when Lila returned to the table at the ice cream shop. He changed the subject and began discussing his favorite Xbox games with Lila. Lila was a guy’s girl and loved any kind of game involving blood and guts. I assumed it was her outlet for stress relief.

I wished I could give Cameron what he wanted and block every ugly word out of my mom’s mouth. But twenty-one years of being told I was fat and ugly was hard to erase.

Chapter Sixteen

As we walked up the path to his parents’ home, Cameron shot me a reassuring smile. “You look really nervous. I told you, my parents are cool, they’ll love you.”

“I’ve never met the parents of someone I’m dating before. My high school boyfriend’s parents went to the same church as my parents, so they already knew each other.”

“I guessed this might be new to you. You went a little overboard on the fruit and wine basket,” he said eyeing the oversized basket I clutched in my arms. It contained a bottle of red wine with an assortment of fruits and chocolates. It cost me a hundred dollars, a major purchase for a college student on a budget.

“Should I leave it in the car? I’m probably trying too hard, but I really want them to like me,” I said. It was my way of making up for the disastrous meeting with my mom. I doubted his father would hit on me or there would be a screaming match at the dinner table. His family would be normal and my family’s dysfunction would scare him off.

“It’s a nice gesture. My point was you only had to show up for dinner. My family knows I like you, so they’ll like you, too.”

Cameron had the uncanny ability to say exactly what I needed to hear. I relaxed and took a minute to study his childhood home. The neighborhood was similar to my own: blocks of suburban mid-sized homes. The Bennett house was a bi-level with a two-car garage and brick siding. When he led me inside, we walked into a large living room with a set of matching brown leather couches. The TV was on and someone I guessed to be Cameron’s sister was flipping channels mindlessly. She swung her head toward the door when we entered and grinned at us.

“Loser!” she yelled cheerfully.

The girl looked to be a couple of years younger than me. Her corn silk hair was cut to her chin and she shared the same eyes as her older brother. She was tall, with an athletic build. Cameron addressed me. “This is my pain-in-the-ass sister, Scarlett.”

“Language!” a new voice admonished. A middle-aged woman with a strawberry-blond bob and green eyes strode toward us. She hugged Cameron tightly and kissed his cheek. A pink lipstick stain was left behind on his skin. I resisted the urge to wipe it away. She turned her attention to me. “Hi, I’m Maggie Bennett.”

“Kayla,” I responded and saw who I presumed to be Cameron’s dad entering the living room.

He stuck out his hand to me. “I’m Cameron’s father, Jack.” I smiled as I took in Jack’s appearance. I didn’t detect any resemblance between Cameron and his mom, but he was the spitting image of his father. His blue eyes twinkled with the same good humor and mischief I often found in Cameron’s, and he was tall, just like his children. The trio studied me openly and my cheeks began to burn from fixing a wide smile on my face.