The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse (14 page)

‘You do.’

She stared into my eyes for one long moment.

‘I should go.’

‘I wish you didn’t have to.’

‘I know. Would it make you feel better if I sucked
your cock before I went?’

‘That doesn’t even deserve a reply.’

Isabella giggled, as I rolled onto my back. A warm
glow filled my heart, as she walked a gentle line of kisses down my chest,
across my abdomen and down towards my groin. Was this really happening? I am
sure I was going to wake up in a minute and find out this was all a dream. She
was too good to be true. She took me within her mouth.

‘Isabella...’

Chapter
Fifty-Seven: Parting Ways

***

I leaned in through the window and kissed Isabella
one last final time. She cupped my face within her delicate hands, as she
sucked softly upon my tongue. I let out a deep sigh, as I stood up and stepped
back from the car. Isabella was wearing an eye consuming smile. I didn’t know
who was happier, her or me.

‘Have fun on your walk, Lucy.’

Lucy recognised the word “walk” and wagged her tail.

‘Text me when you get home.’

‘I will do.’

‘Okay.’

There was a long pause, as we both just stared at
each other, grinning like idiots.

‘Love you, Logan.’

‘I love you.’

Isabella switched on the engine and pulled away from
the curb. She waved her hand out the window, as she disappeared off down the
street. Something sad tugged on my heart. A hollow sensation filled my stomach.
I didn’t like watching her go. I wanted Isabella to stay with me. I know it was
selfish, but it had been so long since I have been truly happy with another
person. She just makes me feel so good when I am near her. I looked down
towards Lucy on her lead. She was sitting on the pavement beside me.

‘Shall we go for a walk?’

She wagged her tail.

‘Okay. Let’s go.’

Chapter
Fifty-Eight: Under the Midnight Sky

***

Thousands upon thousands of twinkling stars were
scattered across the canvas of deep black. A half moon covered the world in a
lazy light. Lucy lagged slightly behind me, as she sniffed away at the various
bushes. This was only going to be a quick walk. Out here there were no street
lights, which meant it was very hard to walk across the uneven terrain in the
dark. You were most likely going to trip over a tree root, falling branch, a
pothole or slip over in mud. Lucy and I were walking the more popular dog
walking route, which was a circuit about half a mile wide. It was mostly open
land with the odd tree and plenty of bushes for her to investigate.

My thoughts drifted to my dreams.

Isabella had been a welcomed distraction.

My entire life seemed to be one big lie. I felt
slightly stupid that I had put so much stock in these dreams. I had allowed
them to dictate decisions I had made throughout my life, as I really did
believe the end of the world was coming. I thought I had some kind of special
role to play in all this, but this was the day of the apocalypse. This was the
day the world was supposed to end, but nothing had happened. My life seems to
have just continued on. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I thought I
was getting these dreams for a reason. I thought maybe I could prevent whatever
was going to happen. I never actually considered that nothing would happen. I
was sure something big would have happened in the world.

In three hours the day will end.

I was one hundred and eighty minutes away from being
free.

Once this day was gone then I could live a normal
life.

I could live with Isabella.

I could be happy.

Lucy’s agonising scream broke the silence of the
night. My heart stopped at the sound. It was a sound of sheer terror and pain.
Within a second the sound stopped. I turned back to face Lucy, but was met by
the sight of the big black Rottweiler. Its jaws were firmly clamped around the
back of Lucy’s neck. My furry little sidekick was hanging limp in its mouth.
Blood dripped from a large open wound upon the back of her neck. Suddenly, the
two teenage boys appeared out of nowhere. They dived upon their dog and
wrestled it to the ground. One boy fought to attach to lead to the collar, as
the other boy stuck his fingers into the dog’s mouth and tried to pull Lucy
free. I ran forward as fast as my legs could carry me. The demon dog growled,
as Lucy dropped from its mouth. It took both of the boys the pin the dog down,
as it started to thrash wildly and fight against the lead. I dropped to my
knees beside Lucy.

‘Lucy?’

I picked her up, but her head hung limp.

The top half of her neck had been ripped out.

I could see bone.

Time seemed to stop, as I looked at the lifeless
body of my best friend.

Lucy was dead.

They had killed her.

Tears began to fall.

‘Why are you walking that damn dog?’ I muttered.
‘Why isn’t it muzzled?’ My voice was broken and filled with sadness. ‘You know
it is dangerous. I know it is dangerous.’ The boys were too busy wrestling
their dog under control to even hear me. ‘EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS FUCKING TOWN
KNOWS THAT DOG IS DANGEROUS!’ I grabbed a rock off the floor beside Lucy. I was
moving on auto-pilot. I knocked the boys to the side, as I loomed over the top
of the growling dog. The rock came crashing down upon its skull. The dog
whimpered, but did not go down. I brought the rock down a second time. A bone
crunching snap echoed into the air. Blood splattered upon my face and t-shirt.
I brought the rock down a third time.

‘Get off my dog!’ One of the boys grabbed my free
arm.

‘FUCK OFF!’

I turned and struck him with the rock.

The Rottweiler staggered to its feet, but another
shot to the head put it down again. I lost count how many times I hit this
fucking piece of shit. All I saw was red. I just continued to strike the dog.
After a while the dog stopped moving. I dropped the rock and looked down upon
the dog. Its face was just a mound of flesh that oozed blood and brain matter.
I raised my hands. They were soaked in blood. My hands, my face, my t-shirt and
trousers were drenched in the blood from the dog. It was identical to my dream.

‘What have I done?’

‘You killed him...’ said a voice behind me.

‘I didn’t mean to. I was trying to save Lucy.’

I turned to face the boy. Horror struck me like a
nuclear explosion in the face. The boy had not been talking about their dog. He
was cradling his brother within his arms. One of the teenagers had a deep gash
across the side of his head. Did I do that? When had I done that? He had tried
to drag me off the dog, hadn’t he? Had I lashed out? I don’t remember. It is
all a blur to me. I think I did. Did I hit him with the rock? Had I killed this
boy?

The brother got up and run.

‘Help me!’ He screamed into the night. ‘Please, help
me!’

‘What have I done?’

I stepped over the teenager and knelt down on the
ground beside Lucy. I carefully placed my hands beneath her body and lifted her
up into my arms. She felt so small and light. I began to sob, as I walked home.

Chapter
Fifty-Nine: Call for Help

***

‘Why?’ I sobbed, ‘Why was this happening?’ Lucy’s
lifeless body rested at the foot of my double bed. Blood had stained the bed
sheets. I cradled my head in bloody hands, as tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘I
DON’T UNDERSTAND!’ I screamed up at the ceiling. I didn’t care how vast or
infinite the universe was, God would hear my voice.  ‘WHY DID YOU TAKE HER?’ I
looked down at Lucy and cuddled her within my arms. ‘What am I going to do,
Lucy?’ She was always there to lick my arm, or head butt me in the leg when I
was sad. A wag of her tail always made me smile. ‘What am I going to do?’

My feet started moving before I gave the command. I
exited the bedroom and walked down the stairs. Bloody handprints smeared the
beige walls. I headed straight for the kitchen. I needed a drink. I need
something to make the pain go away. I grabbed two bottles of wine from the
bottom of the fridge. They were screw tops, which allowed for easy access. I
gulped at one of the bottles. Most of the wine poured over my chin and down my
body, but I didn’t care. I just needed to drink. Half a bottle disappeared within
a matter of seconds. The wine tasted bitter tonight. I marched back through the
house and headed up the stairs towards Lucy. I shouldn’t leave her alone. What
did that mean? She was already gone.

The image of the dead boy appeared within my mind.

I fell to my knees upon the stairs.

I had killed that boy.

He was only a kid.

‘What have I done?’ I wiped the back of my hand
across my eyes and continued up the stairs. I chugged on the bottle of wine as
I returned to my bedroom. I was hoping to find Lucy standing on the bed with
her tail wagging excitedly, but she was gone. Her body lay motionless, like
some kind of puppet that has had it strings cut free. ‘I have to do something.’

I placed down a bottle of wine and picked up my
phone.

I called my mum. She would know what to do. The
phone began to ring.

‘Please, pick up.’ The phone rang some more.
‘Please.’ I was put through to the answer machine. It was silly. They would be
in bed by now. I hung up and thought about it for a second. ‘Isabella!’ I
called her phone.

‘I am sorry it has not been possible to put you
through...’ began to automated message.

I hung up. ‘FUCK!’

I called Clarissa. The phone rang twice before she
answered.

‘I told you not to call me,’ said Clarissa. She
sounded tired.

‘Please, Clarissa....’ she hung up on me. ‘No. No.
NO!’ I called her back. It went straight through to her voicemail. ‘Why is this
happening to me? What should I do?’ A thought occurred to me. There was someone
I could call. There was someone that would know what to do. She always knew
what to do. I dialled the number. They answered on the third ring.

‘Logan?’ asked Samantha.

I hung up.

What am I doing?

Am I that desperate that I would call the woman that
murdered my baby?

‘FUCK!’ I threw my cell phone across the room. It shattered
into a million pieces, as it struck the wall. ‘What am I going to do? What am I
going to do?’ I rocked back and forth on the end of the bed. And that is when I
saw it. It was sitting on top of my chest of draws, propped up against the
wall. It was Brendan’s painting. In the painting I was drenched in blood. In
one hand I held the bottle of wine. I looked down towards the bottle of wine in
my left hand. In the painting I held the gun in the other hand. I leaned down
and reached between my legs. The shoebox was tucked beneath the bed. I dragged
it out and tossed away the lid. The revolver awaited me. Unconsciously, I
reached down and plucked it from the box. I got to my feet and stood in front
of the painting. It was like looking into a mirror. Brendan had been right. His
dreams had been correct. I now understood. I understood what it all meant.

Chapter
Sixty: Personal Apocalypse

***

‘Is that the answer?’ I asked the world. I didn’t
know if I should laugh or cry. It was like God was playing some kind of cruel
trick on me. I had believed in the dreams. I had believed that I was special. I
thought God had some kind of plan for me, but I was nothing more than a play
thing for him. It all made sense. All my life I had been dreaming of the
apocalypse. Every single night the countdown would tick away, as I drew one day
closer to the end of the world. It was like everything in my life was leading
me to this point in time. The dreams were starting to make sense. I understood
the bloody hands, the dead body, Samantha and the baby, and Brendan’s suicide.
How long would it be before the final part of the dream took place?

My question was answered.

The sound of sirens echoed into the air, as police
cars skidded in front of my house. The flashing lights illuminated the interior
of my house and forced back the darkness of the night. It was the final part of
the dream. It was the flashing lights. I hadn’t been sure what they were, but
now I had my answer. That kid’s brother must have gone straight to the police.
He knew where I lived. It was over. I was going to go to jail. I was going to
be branded a murderer for what I had done, but I wasn’t a murderer. I just
wanted to kill that fucking dog. If they had just muzzled it then this would
never have happened. It killed Lucy.