The Divorce Club (13 page)

"Speak for yourself." Lucy's laughter sounds
forced as though she's trying to lighten up the oppressive silence.
The frown between her brows deepens, and I know I've hit a soft
spot. The words resonate with her. Since she's the only one who
hasn't yet asked for an individual meeting, I assume she's still
too shattered inside to really open up.

I resume my lecture, "But I'm not here to
convince you of the benefits of plastic surgery." The others laugh
and I find myself smiling with them. "I want to talk to you about
ways to let go."

"One way is to toss out the wedding gifts,"
Jamie says. "Or even better, did you ladies ever hear the saying,
'Dump the dude and ditch the ring'?"

I spun toward him, glaring. Does he think
he's funny? "Could you keep it serious here for a moment? We're
having an important conversation."

His jaw drops, and for a moment he just
stares at me, flabbergasted. I feel bad for snapping at him. Then
again, if he's the stalker he deserves all that's coming.

"One way to let go of the past is to stop
thinking of your spouse as your possession," I say. "With a low
self-esteem this will be easier said than done because you may feel
as though by letting him go you're left with nothing but a hole
where your heart once was."

"What if he doesn't want to let go of us?"
Simone asks.

I really don't see the woman's problem. The
husband dots on her and yet she can't bring herself to meet him
halfway. "Then you'll have to
make
him let go of you."

"It's all part of my individual plan, isn't
it?" she asks, wide-eyed, as though she can't wait for her husband
to dump her. Most women would kill for a guy who can't keep his
hands off them, but not stunning Simone. She's probably had so
many, she must be bored out of her mind.

I nod. "Yes, and I hope you've stopped
shaving your legs. But going back to the topic at hand, have you
ever done unreasonable things out of jealousy?" I peer around me,
avoiding Jamie's gaze as I wait for an answer.

"Once, I got a friend to follow a love
interest to find out everything about her." Of course, Jamie's the
one to come up with an example.

"You mean you
stalked
her? Yeah, I bet
you're that type." I scowl at him, wishing I could ask him whether
he still practices this morbid behavior, but I need to remain
professional for the club's sake. "That's plain wrong. Anyone else
got a story for us?"

He gapes at me, open-mouthed. The others keep
quiet. I don't know what's wrong with everyone today. Maybe letting
Jamie join us wasn't such a good idea, because my female clients
seem reserved and intimidated.

"What? I asked a friend to do it. That's
different," Jamie whispers.

"Really?" I shoot him a questioning look. He
frowns as though he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"I cracked his password on Facebook and
changed his interests to raising pigs and dating nuns," Shannon
says.

"Oh, please." Lucy snorts. "When I found out
my hubby was gay I was so jealous I called his bank and told them
he had died." Jamie laughs. She holds up a finger. "Wait, let me
finish. And then I got a pregnant lassie to pee on a pregnancy
stick and left it in the bathroom for him with the note, I'll be
collecting child support for the next eighteen years, sucks to be
you, huh?"

"Can't be any worse than reporting them to
the health department for spreading a STD," Simone says.

"No, you didn't!" Mindy giggles and starts
making notes again. The others join in.

"We've heard a few examples of what jealousy
can do," I say. "Jealousy isn't pretty since it brings out the
worst in us. It's not a sign of love; it's a sign of weakness, of
wanting to possess someone because of low self-esteem."

"So, you're telling me if I'm jealous I'm in
fact self-conscious?" Jamie asks.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Wasn't I
clear enough?" I sigh and turn slowly to face him, fury blazing in
my eyes because I remember the wet towel and the rose petals. He
looks so innocent with his sparkling blue eyes. The corners of his
mouth twitch as though he isn't taking any of this seriously. I
stand and point at the door. "Can we talk for a second? In
private."

He nods and follows me into the hall.

"What are you doing?" I hiss.

"What?" He stands too close to me, but I
don't dare move back a few steps, lest the others hear us.

"In there—" I take a deep breath "—could you
just keep quiet for a second so I can get on with my lesson? Thank
you." Turning on my heel, I head for the door when he grabs my
arm.

"Sarah, I don't know what I did wrong, but
I'd like to make it up to you. Let's have dinner tonight."

I turn to regard him. His expression seems so
sincere; his whole attitude screams innocent. What am I doing,
scaring away my clients? He's not my stalker. He can't be because
we never met before. I should've thought of that instead of acting
unreasonably. I shake my head and rub a hand over my face.

"No? Okay, I understand," Jamie says.

I should keep quiet and let him deal with the
rejection, but I don't want to see him hurt. Besides, having dinner
with him sounds fantastic.

"Let's have dinner," I blurt out before I can
stop myself.

The smile returns on his face within a
heartbeat, and I wonder whether I'm making a mistake here because
his enthusiasm isn't normal for a guy. On the other hand, the poor
man's going through a divorce and needs all the company he can get.
He's even paying me for it, so I'd rather have dinner out than a
phone glued to my ear while listening to his whining and
crying.

"How's Chloe?" I ask, just to remind him I
haven't forgotten that tiny inconvenience in his life.

His expression turns grim. "She's fine. Look,
can we do dinner another time and just meet up for our appointment
tomorrow? I have this thing I completely forgot about."

He just brushed me off. Even though I feel
less unsettled than before, my smile is forced. That should teach
me to keep my mouth shut about the soon-to-be ex. The others peer
at us as we return to our seats. Lucy's leer says more than a
thousand words, but I won't let it bother me. The job's calling.
Time to play the role of the professional divorcee again.

I've barely resumed my conversation when I
hear the entrance door open and close. That's the beauty of having
such a small office; it's all so tiny I can hear the moan of relief
and the consequent toilet flush next door. Another client would be
fantastic news, but the clicking of impossibly high heels against
the scratched floor announces the presence of someone else.
Mel.

"Hey everyone. What's up?"

What's she doing here? I should be asking her
to leave before she spots Jamie and all hell breaks loose. But
somehow I'm frozen to the spot and my mouth won't open to follow my
brain's request. Mel's eyes move like those of a hawk, taking in
detail after detail, and then settle on the man sitting next to me.
Her face changes in an instant, from surprise to disbelief to
suspicion.

"Sarah?" It's just one word, but somehow it
makes me shiver—and not in a pleasant way. What can I say? I'm
scared of her. "Sam wasn't kidding when she said you had a man in
your club. I thought the girl was delusional or misunderstood you.
So I came here to see for myself. Guess my question's just been
answered."

I shake my head. "Mel, listen—"

"Mindy, why didn't you tell me?" Mel scans
the faces until she settles on the poor personal assistant. Mindy
lowers her gaze. I guess I'm not the only scared one here.

"It's not what it looks like," I jump to my
feet and drag Mel back into the hall again, pulling the door close
behind me.

"You let a man in here. What's wrong with
you?" Mel hisses.

This is way too much drama for me in one day.
I'm so mentally exhausted from all the stalking and the clue
searching that I can't even form a half-hearted denial. Mel takes
my silence as an affirmative.

"Who is he and why did you do it? Is it
because he's hot?"

I shake my head. "He threatened to sue me if
I didn't let him join. And he pays more than double what I make
from the others. I need the money, Mel."

She glares at me suspiciously. "Are you sure
it has nothing to do with the fact that he's hot?"

I blink, considering whether it'd make sense
to lie. Eventually, I sigh and roll my eyes. "It didn't play a
huge
role."

"He's married, isn't he?" Mel hugs me tight
and whispers, "Oh, darling. He's not ready for anything serious
yet."

"I know that. We'll keep it strictly
professional." Thoughts of our pizza and movie date flash through
my head. I keep quiet, and I'm not mentioning our upcoming trip to
France either.

Mel's lips stretch into a doubtful smile, but
she says nothing as we return to the room. Everyone's staring at
us, the tension's palpable in the air. I need to break it so we can
continue where we left off.

"Mel, this is our newest member, Jamie.
Jamie, this is my friend, Mel," I say.

Jamie stands and shakes her hand. "Hi."

"I'm her
best
friend." Mel cocks an
eyebrow, and I groan inwardly. I appreciate her trying to make a
point here, but if I didn't scare him off already, she will
soon.

With so many interruptions, the session will
keep me here longer so I quickly text Sam and then return to work.
Mel pulls up a chair and sits behind me, still eyeing Jamie. I wish
she'd just leave, but I can tell that's not going to happen any
time soon.

"Jealousy," I begin. "It's an emotion
stemming from low self-esteem and a need to possess to prove our
worth. It's also an emotion that will keep you from moving on and
finding your luck with someone else. Once you realize your own
worth and work on your confidence your feelings of insecurity will
dissipate together with any jealousy."

"What if someone does things just to make us
jealous?" Shannon asks.

I nod because she has a valid point. "Then
you'll have to ask yourself whether this person's the right one for
you. Just as much as you show jealousy because you're insecure,
others will try to make you jealous when they lack confidence and
need to manipulate your emotions to feel wanted."

"Everybody wants to feel wanted, darling.
It's why we dress up, do our hair and buy Cosmopolitan to learn how
to please a guy even if we don't enjoy it," Mel says.

"That's the problem, don't you see it?" I
turn to face her. "You don't need perfect clothes and hair to be
beautiful. That's what our consumer society tells you to be like.
As a result, you lack the confidence to be yourself. Let's get back
to the topic at hand."

"I'm no longer jealous," Jamie says. "Does
that mean I've moved on and am ready to date again?"

Is he sending out a message? Does he
want
to date again? I hesitate, considering my words, when
Mel cuts me off, "No, it just means you're a narcissistic moron who
moves from one woman to the next without getting emotionally
involved."

Shannon gasps and the room falls quiet. My
hands start to shake with fury. As much as I appreciate her help in
love matters, this is business and business comes first.

"Someone's confusing professionalism with
obnoxiousness. I'm sorry, Jamie." I glare at her, hoping she has
the sense to leave before I lose a client tonight, but Mel just
shrugs and looks away. "The answer isn't that you're ready to date
again because you're not even divorced yet."

"Actually, I'm going to go with a big, fat
yes," Lucy says. "Now, do you date older women? Or should I say
more experienced
?" She winks.

I feel Jamie's eyes burn right through me. My
cheeks grow hot. "There's this woman that I can't stop thinking
about," Jamie says. "I've only had one date with her. Technically,
it really wasn't a date, but I know she's beautiful, sexy, smart,
caring, and funny."

Simone sighs. "That's so sweet. Boy, is that
one lucky girl."

"Isn't that the truth?" Shannon says.

"He doesn't want to sulk over his old life."
Simone nods. "Fair enough. Basically he's saying, 'He chooses to
laugh rather than cry'."

Jamie grins. "See, someone here gets me."

I roll my eyes. He's a major player. Chloe's
barely out the door and he's already found a replacement.

"Sarah, what do you think of this woman
that's captured Jamie's heart?" Simone asks. "Is it going to
last?"

"For the moment. He'll dump her as soon as
the next pretty face comes along." Mel nudges me with her foot and
whispers in my ear, "Who'd want to date a soon-to-be divorcee
anyway? A rebound relationship reminds me of a ticking bomb, ready
to explode any minute."

"Stop it," I whisper to Mel. "Well, Simone, I
think the lady has enough sense to stay friends with him so he can
heal and get over Chloe. Otherwise, she's just a rebound
relationship."

"Rebound relationship? Never heard of those,"
Mindy says, "but she should go for it because it sounds like a lot
of fun."

Jamie grins. "I think she should too. What do
you think, Sarah?"

My temper flares up again. Why did I think he
was interested in me? He's young, rich and single. Of course, he's
out there testing the waters. I'll never let a pair of blue eyes
and tangled hair fool me again. Forcing my lips into a smile, I
say, "Tell me more about her."

Mel whispers in my ear, "Some poor sap has
already staked her claim—until he dumps her. Honestly, I feel sorry
for the girl. Too bad I couldn't talk to her myself and put some
sense in that hard head of hers. She's just going to get her heart
broken."

I slap Mel's knee. With her yapping, I'm
missing what Jamie's saying.

"My dark days have a ray of sunshine again."
Jamie pauses, taking a deep breath. "She makes me laugh, and she
even makes the best pancakes I've ever tasted."