The Don: Sebastiano (Stud Mafia #1) (17 page)

Before Uncle Joey could answer me, Sebastiano ambled over. His attention was now firmly fixated on his uncle and myself. How the hell did he get there so fast?

“Zio,” he said in a clipped tone. His face was tight; his eyes cold and narrowed.

If I ever had any doubt before, it was gone. From the look in those eyes, I knew. I knew he’d killed his father. I involuntarily moved away from Sebastiano’s sharp gaze as it shifted from his uncle to me. In a fluid blur of energy, he grabbed Uncle Joey by his arm and pulled him back against himself in a parody of an embrace.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he whispered against his uncle’s ear.

I froze.

Sebastiano returned his focus to his uncle. “Tell me, what interesting gossip have I missed?”

“That’s on a need-to-know basis. Like every other thing in this twisted family,” Uncle Joey retorted.

“You going to make me lose my shit, Zio? Right here in church? Don’t test me,” Sebastiano warned him. “What did you say to Sierra?”

The service had finished. I didn’t even hear the priest announce the mass had concluded. People were leaving and they were making their way to their cars. The priest had retired to the rectory. We had all started to make our way to the front of the church steps. It was just the
famiglia
, and me, of course.

“Do you really want to talk about that shit now?” Uncle Joey said. “You want to air out all the dirty laundry? Here, with the whole family present?” Uncle Joey spread his arms out in the air, signalling the family.

“What the fuck are you talking about, old man?” Sebastiano asked him, the warning in his tone unmistakable.

“I’m talking about you being the only member of the family who I believe is one-hundred percent a killer.”

My heart thudded and for a second, I actually thought it stopped beating. It wasn’t until I felt Nonna put her arms around my shoulders that I remembered to breathe again.
Nonna reprimanded Uncle Joey. “It can’t be true, Joe. Sebastiano has always been such a good boy and he is a good man. I doubt he would even hurt a fly.”

“Fuck,” Sebastiano muttered. “He broke my mother. Broke her, do you hear me?” he screamed out the front of the church. The entire family could hear him and he just didn’t care. “He fucked her up, broke her jaw, her ribs, her arms, her legs. He fucking broke her until she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. She was a mess and it didn’t stop. He beat her over and over again. If I didn’t do anything, the bastard would have killed her eventually, and none of you did a fucking thing about it!”

“Sebastiano, watch your language, please. We are standing in front of God’s house!” Nonna said.

“Fuck language. My father deserved to die. My mother was my life and anyone who hurt my mother was going to pay. She thought being married to Don Giovanni would keep her safe. She was wrong. It was worse. She loved him, but all he did was hurt her. As their only son, I made it my business to kill him because none of you fuckheads did.” He stormed past me and walked back into the church.

Everyone stood in the middle of the church steps with their mouths agape, unable to believe the truth had finally been spoken.

“Daddy,” Lorena called out to her father’s retreating back, wanting to go after him. Riccardo stopped her and pulled her back.

“Leave him, Lorena; he needs time to himself. He needs to calm down. You don’t want to talk to him when he’s like this. Trust me,” he warned her.

The others all went to their own cars. What the hell? Were they just going to pretend nothing happened here today? Or were they so used to sweeping things under the rug they don’t know how to act any differently and they’d forget all about this bombshell by tomorrow?

I felt the sudden urge to go and comfort Sebastiano. Why the fuck wasn’t I scared? I knew I should be running – no, sprinting the Hell out of there, but all I could think about was him as a young boy, witnessing his beloved mother being beaten by a father he used to idolise.

I wanted to go to him.

He needed me.

I know he does.

“Seriously?” Uncle Joey shrieked, saliva spraying everywhere as he spoke. “I announce he killed my brother and you all piss off, completely ignoring it?”

Riccardo stopped in his tracks and turned back to face us all. “Don Giovanni was my godfather, but he was a vicious bastard. I saw everything he did to my godmother. If Sebastiano hadn’t done it, I would have,” Riccardo admitted.

“You’ll never know what it cost Sebastiano to kill him,” Riccardo continued, his voice cracking. “Never.”

Lorena was cowering behind Riccardo, the look on her face one of pure shock. I was surprised at that. I thought she knew the comings and goings of the mafia, but she seemed genuinely frightened and stunned. Riccardo was comforting her; his arms were so big when they wrapped around Lorena’s waist that she was barely visible. No wonder Lorena was infatuated with him. He was gorgeous and the danger in him made him more attractive.
Like me with Sebastiano, I supposed. What was I supposed to do? Pretend I hadn’t heard what Uncle Joey said?

“I want everyone to get in the cars and go home. Not another fucking word about what went on here today. We are a family and we stick together. You all know the rules, so don’t fucking break them,” Riccardo warned.

I didn’t say a word. Riccardo squinted at me, his eyes piercing into me. Was he angry with me? What the hell did I do or not do? I was probably going to die at the hands of a member of this family. I had been kidding myself thinking I was safe. They were all criminals. All murderers. So what difference did it make if it was Vincenzo, Riccardo, Uncle Joey or Sebastiano himself? Either way, I was going to die.

Yet something stupid inside me wanted to cling to the slim hope that Sebastiano cared for me. He would never kill me; he saved Paulie, after all, when he could have killed him. I was convinced there was something in him that was good and decent and nothing like his father.

“I’ll stay back with Sebastiano,” I announced, my gaze not leaving Riccardo’s intent stare. “You all go on ahead and get the lunch preparations ready. I’ll call you later, Riccardo, and you can come and pick us up when Sebastiano is ready.”

“I’ll stay, too, I…” Lorena never had a chance to finish because Riccardo issued her a huge, “No.”

I could tell Lorena wanted to go to her father, and I wanted to erase her concern.

If he was going to attack anyone over this, I would rather it be me than his daughter.

“It’s okay, Lorena; you go back with Riccardo and the family. I will calm your father down, so please don’t stress.” I hugged her and my eyes connected with Riccardo’s.

He raised his eyebrows at me, as if asking me if I was sure I wanted to enter the lion’s den. I gritted and ground my teeth, wanting to scream. I wanted to blurt out the truth. Nothing would have felt better than to say, “Yes, I
am
scared. I just heard him admit he killed his father. But hey, don’t worry, because I don’t care if he
is
a monster. I love him.”

Shit! I’ve gone completely insane.
I had gone and fallen in love with Sebastiano. My captor. But I’m too afraid to tell him. I was scared of his reaction, of what he would do, how he would react if I told him the truth about my feelings. He was in a difficult place, all because Uncle Joey had blurted out the truth.

Riccardo warned them all; this family wasn’t a family that made futile threats.

It just went to show; sometimes blood wasn’t thicker than water.

***

Walking back into the church, I found Sebastiano on the steps in front of the altar. He looked agitated and ruthless as I observed him, toying with his rosary beads. His shirt looked like it had been haphazardly ripped open. He didn’t resemble the man I knew; a man who could be harmless, soft and so sweet at times. But deep down, I know he wasn’t.

His eyes cut into mine as I approached him. And I could see it: the darkness that lay beneath. It only took one look from Sebastiano to make me tremble. Still, those looks of warning didn’t stop the traitorous feelings inside me. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to him. I should have stayed away from him, but I didn’t want to. The pull was too strong, too urgent.

I reminded myself that inside this man’s body, his head, lurked a monster I had yet to be introduced to.

***

SEBASTIANO

I could hear footsteps coming toward me. I knew the sound of those heels. They were a dead giveaway.

Sierra.

I wondered why the fuck Riccardo let her in here, to see me when I was at my darkest.

I looked up to see her staring at me.
She shouldn’t be here; she should be scared of me, not standing here feeling sorry for me.

“Why are you here, Sierra?” I growled at her.

“I thought you might want some company.” She was wringing her hands in front of her, something she always did when she was nervous. I stood up and faced her. I wanted to let her know she was disturbing me.

“I don’t need your company. I want to be alone. I don’t want you to see me like this. I am not who you think I am.”

“Really, well, who are you then?”

I took another step toward her. I was so close I could see the chocolate and hazel flecks in her eyes. I stared down at her, keeping my expression deathly serious.

“I am someone you should stay far away from.”

The minute I said those words to her, I felt her tremble and noticed gooseflesh all the way down her arms. I loved the effect I had over this woman. With only one word or look, I could make her tremble.

“I don’t think I can. I don’t think I want to stay away from you.”

Sierra responded by reaching out toward me, running her hand across my chest and brushing it against my thigh. I yearned to touch her back but I was too angry, so I snatched hold of her hand, stilling it on my leg, my grip strong.

“I’m telling you,” I said, my voice strained. “I’m warning you. I’m not a good man, Sierra, and I never will be. So don’t think you can fix me, or that I’ll ever change, because I won’t. I can’t.”

“Please, Sebastiano, I want to help you…let me—”

“Enough!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you can help me with? Did you not hear what my uncle said, or are you fucking deaf? I killed my own father, with my bare hands.” I held up both hands to show her what type of monster I really was.

“Yes, I know. I heard him. I am not judging you. You were protecting your mother. You didn’t want me to know, right?” She moved toward me and cupped my face, stroking my scarred cheek.
I love it when she caresses my face. It brings me great relief that my scarred face doesn’t repulse her.
My skin was buzzing, and my body went limp with relief. I hadn’t realised how tense I was until she touched me. I took a deep breath.

“Exactly,” I said. I looked deep into her eyes. “You must know by now who I am, Sierra. I won’t lie to you. I am a dangerous man,
cara
. I’m no stranger to violence, and I often have to use force to make people understand I’m not a man to be fucked with. If someone so much as touches or goes after what belongs to me, I can be ruthless.”

I brought her closer to me, my voice dropping to a whisper, “Yes, I killed my father, and I killed after that. I
will
kill again. I am what they call a monster.”

She shivered at my statement.

“I don’t want you to be scared of me, Sierra. I am a very powerful man. But make no mistake…if your life was ever in danger, I wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever was needed to keep you safe.” I brushed my body against hers and kissed her softly on her lips. “This isn’t something I tell you lightly.”

“I understand,” she said softly. “It means so much to me that you would tell me this. I understand who you are and what you do. I trust you.”

“Trust isn’t something I take for granted, and I need to know this is something you can handle. This is me,” I said, holding my arms out to my sides, “and I need to know if you can accept me and my way of life.”

I didn’t want to lose Sierra. I knew she had questions but she was smart, and she didn’t ask. She was beginning to understand the mafia life and the criminal activities involved.

“Yes,” she said, looking me right in the eyes, “I can handle it.”

Fuck me. She should be running. Fast. In the other direction.
Yet she stood like a sacrificial little lamb, saying she understood my fucked-up family and its mafia ways. I surveyed her up and down, noticing she wore fishnets under her tight, black skirt.
What the hell? Who the fuck wears fishnets to church?
I wondered if she had underwear on under that skirt or if…?

“What are you doing here, at the altar anyway?” she asked, interrupting my erotic train of thoughts. “Are you waiting for the priest to return?”

I scoffed. “I don’t need a priest, baby.”

My gaze drifted over her body as I spoke. My cock was hard for her. It was those damn fishnets. She wanted to help me; well, I knew exactly how she could do that.

“I’m trying to calm down. The church helps me do that, sweetness.” I grabbed my rosary beads from around my neck and put them on her. She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth.

She knew what I wanted from the moment I put the beads around her neck.

I wanted to play.

She can get me so fucking excited and she’s still wearing clothes.

I smiled at her and rubbed the rosary beads across her lips. “Do you have any idea how much I want you,
cara
? I will never let you go, Sierra, and I will never allow anyone else to have you. You belong to me.” Now that I had her and the sex between us was all I could ask for, I would never let her go.
Never
.

“Yes, I belong to you. I only want you.”

“If you ever run from me, I’ll find you. You have no idea how far I would go to keep you with me. I’m more than happy to be honest with you – of course I am. The only thing I ask in return is that you never leave me.”

“I won’t. You said you would tell me when our time is up. I want to stay with you, Sebastiano. I like the things you do to me. I’ll be honest, too. Yes, you scare me, but I crave you. I crave your touch.” Her admission drove me insane with lust for her.
I had to have her. Now. Here. In the church.