Read The Douchebag Bible Online
Authors: TJ Kirk
children? What of the fact that male victims of
domestic or sexual abuse are not taken seriously by
society as a whole? Feminists actually do admit that
examples like this are sexism—sexism against
women.
They argue that male victims of domestic
abuse are only not taken seriously because women
are considered weak. They argue that women only
win more custody battles because women are viewed
as natural caregivers.
When a stereotype favors men over women, it's
sexism against women. When a stereotype favors
women against men . . . it's still sexism against
women? If you're confused, you obviously don't
know how feminism works. Allow me to explain: if
there is an issue where men have it better than
women, such as the fact that male athletes are paid
better and watched more, then that’s because males
run the world and we’re maliciously working to
suppress women at all times.
If there is an issue where women have it better
than men, such as the fact that we’re far more likely
to be ruled against in child custody suits, then that’s
because males run the world and we’re maliciously
working to suppress women at all times.
It makes a lot of sense if you don't think about
it.
I want to make something clear. I love women. I am
not threatened by femininity. I am not frightened of
female expression or female sexuality. I am not
trying to get women into the kitchen to be barefoot
and pregnant while making me a sandwich. I want
women to be every bit as free to explore their lives
and desires as men are. Which is why I am opposed
to feminism.
One of the worst things about feminism is that
a lot of it—not all—while claiming to empower
women, is really far more concerned with selling
women on the idea that they are powerless and
oppressed. For instance, feminism is eager to
constantly bemoan the lack of female engineers.
“Engineering is a male dominated field!” they shout.
But when you inquire with them further, their
line of reasoning is shaky. They think engineering is
male-dominated because there aren’t many female
engineers and they think there aren’t many female
engineers because engineering is male-dominated.
FEMINIST: Did you know that only 11% of
engineers are women!
ME: Oh? That sucks. Why don't more women
become engineers?
FEMINIST: Because it's a male-dominated
industry.
ME: Well, the more women become engineers, the
less male-dominated it will be.
FEMINIST: They can't become engineers until the
engineering field is less male-dominated!
ME: So . . . more women can't become engineers
until the engineering field is less male-dominated?
FEMINIST: Right.
ME: And the engineering field can't become less
male-dominated until more women become
engineers?
FEMINIST: Right.
ME: Well, good luck with that.
If, instead of whining about a lack of female
engineers, feminists merely empowered women by
letting them know, “YOU CAN BE AN ENGINEER
(or whatever else you want to be)” then these fields
would no longer be male-dominated. You can't say,
“It's male-dominated because there are no women
and there are no women because it's male-
dominated.” You've stalemated yourself.
Feminism too often teach women to be content
with complaining about problems instead of
working to solve them. My message, by contrast, is
that you solve problems by solving problems, not by
endlessly pointing out that the problems exist and
expecting others to address them for you.
The only time when that is justified is when
there are concrete legal barriers that need
surmounting. But as far as I know, there isn't a law
stating that females can’t be engineers. So, feminists
who are bitching about the lack of female engineers
should get engineering degrees instead of degrees in
Women’s Studies.
I'd like to share with you a true story of male
privilege that I wrote a while back:
I was walking down the street when I saw this
girl with gigantic tits walking the other way. I
began to drool. I began to fondle imaginary breasts
in the air. I began to hump the air in front of me.
The girl, disgusted, accosted me: “Hey!
Disgusting male pig! I grow sick of your male
privilege! I am not a sex object!”
“Oh?” I said. “I disagree. An object is defined
as ‘anything that is visible or tangible and is
relatively stable in form.’ You clearly meet the
definition of an object. And since, from a biological
standpoint, all human beings exist to propagate
their genetic code via sexual reproduction, you are,
in fact, a sex object.”
Stunned by the power of my logic, she got to
her knees and blew me.
True story.
One of my biggest problems with the privilege
line of rhetoric is that privilege is so completely
relative. When you say “white privilege,” for
example, it makes an assumption that whites have
more privileges than blacks (or other racial groups).
But, obviously, a white person living in rural