The Endgame (12 page)

She cringed now, recalling her dismay as she walked around the gallery and found her paintings were no longer on display. She had gone around twice to make sure. Mark had never said anything to her about removing them, just mentioned occasionally that they still hadn’t sold. She had left the gallery feeling embarrassed and more despondent than ever, and that night she had confronted him about it. Again he had given her that pitying look. They weren’t selling, he had explained, and he simply couldn’t afford to give up the wall space to them any longer.

She had felt dazed. ‘When?’ she had asked faintly. ‘How long have they not been for sale?’

‘Just the last couple of weeks,’ he had said, looking shamefaced.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ She had felt like an idiot. She had been taking pride in Mark’s endorsement, when in fact he had already given up on her.

‘I’m sorry. I just didn’t have the heart to tell you. I know how hard you’ve been working, how badly you want this.’

That was when he had told her that she would never make the grade as an artist. With her confidence already at an all-time low, it had been easy for him to persuade her that she should give up.

‘It’s just making you miserable,’ he had said. ‘I hate seeing you so unhappy.’

She had decided he was right. It was making her frustrated and depressed, and for what? She was banging her head against a brick wall. If Mark didn’t think she was good enough, she had to accept that it was never going to happen for her.

They had talked for hours that night, making new plans. He had been kind and sympathetic as they gently dismantled her dreams. It was decided that she wouldn’t go back to college and finish her degree. Mark insisted that she didn’t need to work, that he would continue to support her financially, but when she made it clear that she meant to get a job, he offered to take her on at the gallery. It was the ideal solution, and Lisa tried to feel happy about it, but inside her heart was breaking.

The next day Mark cleared out the studio he had built for her at the top of the house and hired an architect to convert it into a gym. When she came home from a shopping trip a few days later to find all her paintings gone, Mark calmly told her he had thrown them in the skip. Shocked that he would do such a thing, Lisa had howled in protest and automatically ran outside to rescue them. But it was too late – the skip had been collected while she was out. Mark had been contrite when he saw how distraught she was, but explained he’d thought a clean break would be best for her.

‘I never wanted to be the one to shatter your dreams,’ Lisa’, he’d said soothingly as he held her, while she felt like her heart was being ripped to pieces.

Her stomach still heaved now at the thought of her paintings being destroyed; tossed out like garbage. They may not have had much objective worth, but they had meant something to her. They were a part of her, and she still felt an aching emptiness and an almost overwhelming sense of loss when she thought of them.

Damn Rose, she thought. She’d stirred up all sorts of feelings that were better left alone. Lisa blinked away tears as she hailed a cab, feeling her buoyant mood of earlier evaporate as she headed for home.

‘You look amazing, Lisa.’ He took her hand across the table when they were seated. ‘Every man here wishes he were me,’ he said with a self-satisfied smile, his eyes flicking around the elegant dining room.

She was just the icing on the cake – the perfect accessory for the man who had it all. ‘Thanks,’ she said, faking a loving smile as she opened her menu.

‘Don’t bother with that,’ Mark said, reaching across and whipping it out of her hands. ‘I’ll order for both of us.’

She swallowed down her irritation at this supposedly romantic gesture on his part. ‘Sure. Thanks.’

She hardly listened to what Mark ordered. When her starter was placed in front of her, it was a work of art, the plate decorated with edible flowers and dots of purees and jellies in jewel-like colours. It was almost too pretty to eat, and it tasted as exquisite as it looked.

‘Good choice?’ Mark asked, smiling at her knowingly.

‘Excellent,’ she nodded. ‘It’s delicious.’

Of course she had known it would be. Everything here was always perfect – the food was sublime, the service impeccable. She looked around the elegant dining room, full of wealthy and influential people, taking in the massive brass chandeliers that hung from the high ceiling, and the important and valuable art collection that adorned the walls. She had been so impressed by all this in the beginning. Now she found herself thinking longingly of the bustling Italian restaurant she used to frequent with her college friends, where they had spent long nights filled with noise and laughter, fuelled by pizza and cheap wine. It was a good thing Mark couldn’t read her mind, she thought wryly. He’d be outraged at her ingratitude.

‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ Mark said, breaking into her thoughts. ‘I have to go to China next week, on business.’

‘Oh?’ She waited for more, wondering what this meant for her. Would he want her to go with him? Socialising was an important part of Mark’s business – relationships with clients were forged and deals done over lunches and dinners, and he usually wanted her by his side to help oil the wheels.

‘It’s a damn nuisance, but there are a couple of big clients there who I’m trying to woo. It could mean millions of pounds in new business.’

Lisa nodded. ‘It would be great for you to get a foothold in China.’ She knew Mark was excited about its potential as an important emerging market – he had spoken of it often recently. ‘What part will you be going to?’

‘Beijing. I’d take you with me, but I’m afraid it’s not going to be a holiday. I’ll be working twenty-four/seven.’

‘That’s fine. I don’t mind.’ She kept her expression carefully neutral, but her heart was racing with excitement at the thought of having some time alone.

‘Mr. Wong, who’ll be my host, is a bit old-fashioned,’ he said with a crooked smile. ‘He doesn’t like to mix business with pleasure, and to him, business is strictly men-only.’

Lisa silently thanked Mr. Wong for his chauvinism. ‘How long will you be gone for?’

‘A week,’ Mark sighed. ‘I wish you could come. I hate being away from you for so long.’

‘I know.’ She covered his hand with hers, trying to look regretful. ‘Me too. But it sounds like we’d hardly see each other anyway. And I wouldn’t want to get in the way.’

‘I’ll make it up to you when I get home,’ Mark said, with an indulgent smile.

Lisa didn’t have to fake her good mood for the rest of the meal. She felt lighthearted, and almost giddy with excitement at the thought of a whole week of freedom. It was a pity she hadn’t saved up enough to leave yet – it would be the perfect opportunity. But she quickly dismissed those thoughts. It was too soon – she would just make the most of this unexpected time to herself and enjoy it for what it was.

‘So, you’ve enjoyed our evenings with Grayson and Isabel?’ Mark asked later as they waited between courses.

‘Yes,’ she said. She felt her heart quicken hopefully at the mention of Grayson.

‘Would you like to do more of that?’ he asked with a wicked grin, swirling the wine in his glass.

‘Yes, if you would,’ she answered, careful not to sound too eager.

‘I thought when I come home we could continue to ... explore other avenues. In fact, we’ve been invited to a party the weekend after I get back–‘

‘A–a party?’ Lisa asked, a knot of dread forming in her stomach. ‘At Grayson’s house?’ she asked hopefully.

‘No,’ Mark said with a little chuckle. ‘I’m not talking about playing with Grayson and Isabel. I mean, I enjoy their company – don’t get me wrong. But the point of this is to be adventurous, not to get stuck in a rut with another couple. You do see that?’

‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘Of course.’

‘Besides, Grayson isn’t into exhibitionism, and it was probably good for your first couple of times, to have that one-on-one time with him. But I really want to watch,’ he said, his eyes glittering. ‘I’ve met some people through work who arrange these parties–‘

‘When you say “party”,’ Lisa began.

‘Well, I suppose the technical term would be “orgy”, if you want to get specific about it,’ he said with a mocking smile.

Lisa struggled to disguise her shock and revulsion – clearly without success.

‘Your face!’ he laughed. ‘You’re such a little prude, Lisa.’

‘But ... an orgy!’ she stuttered. ‘It’s so ...
sleazy
.’

Mark’s smile faded. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he snapped. ‘They’re very classy parties, very exclusive, and there’s nothing remotely sleazy about it. Guests are chosen very carefully. It’s quite an honour to be invited.’

Dear God! How could she talk him out of this? She cast around desperately for some way out. Maybe she could appeal to his ego.

‘I just– I hate the thought of you being with another woman,’ she said pleadingly. ‘It’s been hard for me seeing you with Isabel. It makes me so jealous. I try not to be, but I can’t help it.’

‘Oh, darling.’ To her relief, his expression softened and he reached for her hand. ‘This has nothing to do with how much I love you. You have to understand that. I hate that you’re so insecure.’

‘I don’t understand why I’m not enough for you,’ she said. She knew she was on dangerous ground, testing him, but she was desperate enough to risk it. She couldn’t go along with fucking strangers just to please him. She had been lucky with Grayson, but what were the chances of meeting up with another man as kind and understanding as him?

‘No,’ he said, cupping her face and staring intently into her eyes. ‘Please don’t think that. It’s quite the opposite, Lisa. It’s because you’re so beautiful and sexy, and I’m so damn proud of you. I want to take you out and show you off. I want other men to look at your body and want you. I want to watch them fuck you, all the while knowing that you’ll only ever belong to me.’

She stifled a gasp. Christ, he was sick. He was more twisted than she’d even realised.

‘I can’t help it,’ she said. ‘It makes me feel inadequate knowing you want to be with other women.’

‘It’s not about that,’ he said tetchily, withdrawing his hand. ‘Don’t be so small-minded. Just because I’m interested in exploring sex with other people doesn’t mean I love you any less. Don’t you trust me?’

‘Yes, of course I do. But it’s hard to keep feelings out of it when you’re intimate like that with someone.’

‘You’ve enjoyed being with Grayson, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, but – that’s different.’

‘And it hasn’t changed how you feel about me?’

‘No–‘

Suddenly his expression clouded. ‘Or has it? Is that what this is about, Lisa? Has sex with him changed your feelings towards me?’

‘No,’ she gasped, horrified.

He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘You’re a liar,’ he spat, his eyes hard, flinty. ‘You’re the one who can’t keep feelings out of it.’ His lip curled in a sneer. ‘You want him, don’t you? You’re the one who’s really being unfaithful, and you’re projecting it onto me.’

‘No, that’s not true.’

‘If you were sure of your feelings for me, you’d understand that the sex means nothing. Have you fallen in love with him?’

‘Wh–what?
No
!’

‘Why is it different then? Why were you so keen to see him again?’

‘I wasn’t. I only did it for you – you know that.’

‘I wish I could believe you, Lisa. But I saw how you responded to him. You loved him touching you. You couldn’t get enough of it. I saw how hard he made you come, remember?’

‘But that was what you wanted! I only did it to please you.’ Tears burned the backs of her eyes. It was unbelievable how he could twist things, so that she always ended up on the defensive. Now he was trying to make her feel guilty for a situation he had engineered himself – a situation in which she had been an unwilling participant. She had only gone along with it to keep the peace, and now he was using it against her.

‘Maybe I made a mistake introducing you to him. I should have known a stupid little slut like you wouldn’t be able to handle it. I suppose you’ve developed a pathetic little crush on him?’

‘No, of course not.’

‘Well, don’t get carried away with any romantic notions, Lisa. Don’t believe for one minute that he’s interested in you beyond a casual fuck. You’ve seen Isabel.’ He gave her a scornful look. ‘Do you really think a man who’s got a woman like her would be interested in
you
?’

‘Mark, please–‘

‘They probably laugh about you after we’re gone – how clumsy and inexperienced you are. So desperate for it, yet so inept.’ His voice was silky smooth, taunting her.

He broke off his tirade when the waiter came with their main courses. Lisa’s stomach churned as she looked down at her plate of sea bass. She didn’t know how she was going to get anything past the lump in her throat. It’s not true, she told herself – none of it’s true. Don’t let him into your head, don’t believe him. She imagined herself back in the library with Grayson. He was a good person, a kind man. He wasn’t laughing at her.

‘No one else will ever love you like I do, Lisa,’ Mark continued as soon as the waiter was out of earshot. ‘Everything I do is for you. I work my ass off so you don’t have to. I give you everything a woman could possibly want, you live a life of luxury that most women could only dream of. God knows, I don’t ask for much in return.’

‘I appreciate it, Mark,’ she said placatingly, putting a hand on his arm.

‘You have a funny way of showing it.’ He shook her hand off impatiently. ‘I’m going to be away for a week, and I thought we could have a nice dinner tonight, just the two of us, and have a weekend to ourselves. But you have to ruin it, like you ruin everything. I suppose you’d prefer to be with Grayson. Would you rather we just forget this and go over there instead?’ He tossed his napkin on the table.

‘No, of course not,’ Lisa said, stroking his arm soothingly. She felt exhausted and worn down, all the fight beaten out of her. ‘I don’t care about Grayson. You know I was only with him because it was what you wanted. Other men don’t interest me. I just want to be with you – only you.’

He sighed finally, and his features softened, relenting. She hated how relieved she felt. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just that I love you so much. I’m so scared of you leaving me. I can’t bear the thought of living without you, Lisa.’

‘I know. But I’ll never leave you, Mark.’

‘Promise me.’ He grabbed her hand, crushing it in his, a fierce intensity in his eyes as he gazed at her. ‘I’d do anything to make you happy, Lisa. Just promise you won’t ever leave me.’

‘I promise.’

‘Let’s not fight.’ He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘Think about the party idea while I’m away, okay? Will you do that for me?’

She nodded uncertainly.

‘It would really mean a lot to me, Lisa.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ she said. But already her mind was on the envelope of cash hidden in her nightstand drawer.