The Engagement Deal (16 page)

‘Early…
Please.’

He looked startled and then pleased as his warm laughter welled. ‘Tom’s spending tomorrow with Tara before she flies back to Paris.’

‘And her lover?’

Niall nodded. ‘It’s Fiona’s day off, so tomorrow morning I’m a nanny-free, Tom-free zone…’ His secretary would have a fit when he asked her not to come in only hours after he’d begged her to spend her precious Sunday helping him work on the backlog. He cheerfully ignored the slight guilty twinge of his deeply ingrained work ethic.

‘Sounds good to me.’ Holly smiled as she felt the tension ease, but she couldn’t totally dismiss the nagging doubts that still lingered. ‘What would you do, Niall…?’ She took a deep breath. ‘What if Rowena doesn’t want you to sleep with me?’ she blurted out.

With a sinking heart she saw his warm eyes turn icy arctic blue. I had to go and spoil it, didn’t I? she wailed inwardly.

It was a valid point, she told herself stubbornly, no matter what he said. What if he did have to choose between casual sex with me and a long and valued friendship with my sister? Rowena wouldn’t do anything so crude but…She couldn’t help torturing herself with this humiliating scenario.

‘Rowena…Rowena? What the hell has it got to do with her?’ he blasted, his eyes blazing. ‘I’d be worried if
you
didn’t want to sleep with me—but you do, don’t you, Holly?’

Meeting his eyes, her need was suffocating. Her shoulders sagged weakly as surrender rushed through her body. ‘Yes,’ she agreed simply. ‘I do, Niall.’

‘So much it hurts,’ he persisted.

‘It does…’ A thought struck her. ‘Do you…?’ she began hopefully, the idea of their shared frustration pleased her.

‘Agony,’ he confirmed drily. He sucked in his breath and the erratic pulse in his lean cheek began once more to throb. ‘You don’t need to look so pleased. I’ve got to see you tomorrow.’

‘Why not tonight?’ Holly suggested hopefully. She saw his expression and thought she might have been
too
eager. She wasn’t really keeping him guessing by giving the impression she’d be quite happy if he picked her up and tucked her under his arm. Perhaps he was one of those men she’d read about in the women’s magazines, the ones who preferred the chase to the capture?

‘As tempting as that idea is, I think you should go back in and find out what’s bothering Rowena.’ Being unselfish and noble wasn’t all it was cracked up to be; he felt bloody awful!

Holly swallowed her disappointment. ‘I think it’s far more likely she’d confide in you.’

‘Rowena doesn’t have many friends, Holly.’

Holly thought of her sister’s wide and extensive circle and gaped at him.

He read her incredulity. ‘I mean
real
friends.’

There was only one friend she begrudged Rowena. ‘She’s got you.’

His expression was cold and unfriendly as his eyes swept over her face. ‘It’s a two-way thing, Holly. You expect me to fit in around your career, which you’ve made pretty clear comes first for you—’

It would seem that her efforts to paint herself as a career girl who would not only never seek to become emotionally dependent upon him, but would actively discourage such a situation, had been a bit too successful! Holly was startled to realise that he’d interpreted her often defensive comments as some sort of inflexible set of ground rules. There was nothing she’d like better than to combine marriage with a career, but she couldn’t really contradict him now without doing some uncomfortable explaining.

‘And I accept that.’

There was no mistaking the harsh resentment in his voice. For the first time, Holly wondered whether she’d actually been saying what he wanted to hear after all; she shook her head, dismissing the notion as fanciful.

‘But there are some things
you
have to accept,’ he added grimly as she tried to collect her confused thoughts. ‘I’m thirty-one, Holly. I’ve got a lot of friends; I’ve got an ex-wife, a son, a family, a job—none of that is going to change dramatically because I’ve added a redhead to the list of things in my life. If you can ask me to turn my back on my friends, how long,’ he enquired in a disillusioned voice, ‘before you ask me to give up on my son? I couldn’t…’ He clung angrily to this certainty, while he was being torn to pieces by the devastating knowledge of how much he would be prepared to compromise his life to keep this woman in it. The completely uncharacteristic way he was prepared to play hooky the next morning was only a symptom of something much bigger.

‘I’d never!’ Holly cried in horror.

Stony-faced, he didn’t respond to her exclamation. ‘Think about it.’

He didn’t add, if you don’t like it,
tough
—but he might just as well have; his expression said as much, loud and clear!

Holly watched him disappear into the lift. She was pretty sure she’d think about what he’d said most of the night.

‘I
WASN’T
sure if you’d come.’ Dressed in an open-necked polo shirt and jeans, Niall stood to one side to let her enter the hallway. He sounded terse as opposed to bothered by her tardiness, and his expression gave no clue to the fact he’d been pacing the floor restlessly for the past hour.

‘I wasn’t sure if you still wanted me to,’ she responded awkwardly.

Nostrils flared he gave a sceptical snort. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

Flustered by not just his cryptic words but his mere magnetic presence, Holly looked around. The period hallway was dripping with the sort of original features that always featured prominently in any sales literature—not that this address would be hard to sell. Detached houses overlooking the park like this one were gobbled up by those lucky enough to be able to afford the prices they fetched.

‘I didn’t actually know where you lived—’ she unwrapped the vividly patterned silk scarf from around her neck and held in uncertainly in her hand ‘—which sort of brought home to me how untraditional our…’ She fumbled for words to describe what they had.

‘Courtship is?’ he suggested, entering the sunny living room at the back of the house behind her.

Holly’s mouth was still open as, startled at his choice of word, she swung around to stare at him warily. His blue eyes held a very intense expression that made her over-sensitive stomach muscles quiver and melt into a pool of liquid warmth. Courtship bestowed something…what did it bestow? An aura of semi-permanence? Niall’s expression didn’t give much away, except perhaps he was feeling almost as wary as she was.

‘That’s one word for it,’ she babbled, trying to cover the tense expectant pause. ‘Do you like it?’ She flicked her wrist and let the scarf drift out towards him. ‘A present from Rowena. It’s a…actually, I’ve forgotten, but it’s a famous name,’ she finished vaguely. Rowena had made a point of stressing that this wasn’t some piece of tat to be treated casually—Holly’s careless attitude to her possessions was a source of great irritation to her sister.

Niall caught the scarf, saying absently, without even looking at it, ‘It’s very pretty.’ He tugged and Holly let the scarf slip through her fingers.

He might not be looking at the scarf, but he was looking at her—looking in the sort of way that sent her overheated blood pulsating full throttle around her tense body. Still without looking away, he draped the scarf carelessly over the small walnut bureau beside the fireplace.

‘I’m not in the phone book. How did you get the address?’

‘A quick trawl through Rowena’s personal organiser. Because,’ she added defensively, before he had time to condemn her furtive tactics, ‘I could hardly ask her where you lived, could I? It’s very nice here,’ she added with an appreciative sigh as she walked over to French doors which opened out onto a pretty leafy garden that stretched impressively into the distance.

‘The garden’s one of the reasons I bought this place. A child needs a garden, and there’s a good school nearby.’

And Niall, as the caring responsible parent he was, would think about such things. She admired these caring qualities he displayed where his son was concerned. The real man she’d got to know was a million miles away from the celebrity playboy the media liked to portray. If he ever did decide to commit again to a woman, she knew instinctively that he’d do it wholeheartedly. She knew he’d never do it at all until he got over his failed marriage to Tara, and maybe even Tara herself?

I have to be realistic, she told herself, stifling a forlorn sigh. That time might never come, and if it does I’ll probably be long off the scene. She was destined to be a short interlude in his life and it would only hurt more if she let herself pretend otherwise. Unexpectedly, her eyes filled up; blinking back the hot sting, she lowered her gaze self-consciously from his disturbingly intent scrutiny.

‘I think maybe we’d all, child or not, benefit from a garden,’ she mused gruffly. ‘There’s something about a bit of green. I must remember to put a window-box on my list. I would have been here earlier,’ she explained, ‘only the landlord replied to the message I left. I’ve been looking at a flat.’

Even before this morning’s experience, she hadn’t felt upbeat about the chances of matching her inclinations to her budget—now she knew she’d have to lower her standards. Sharing was probably the best idea but, after years of sharing grotty student accommodation, she enjoyed her privacy. Oh, well, she reflected practically, it’s all about compromise.

‘Not good?’

‘It smelt of cabbage.’

The line permanently etched between Niall’s dark brows deepened. ‘I thought Rowena wasn’t back for good for a while yet. You two haven’t…?’

‘Come to blows over you, and I’ve been kicked out into the August snow?’ she suggested, childishly jubilant that for once she was the one able to anticipate his thought! ‘Sorry to disappoint you, Niall, but you hardly came up in the conversation,’ she told him breezily.

She decided she wasn’t going to mention the bit when she’d closed the subject on Niall by saying, ‘he’s my mistake to make, Rowena.’ With the emphasis on ‘mine’!

‘If you discount the part where Rowena warned me you get bored easily…’ Her voice suggested she found Rowena’s point of view amusing. ‘No, it’s just never too early to start looking.’

‘Bored!’ Niall’s smile flashed white and extremely attractive. ‘She really doesn’t know you very well, does she?’

‘I think that was a compliment?’ she quizzed him.

‘It was.’

Holly nodded slowly. The morning was looking up, she decided cautiously. ‘Just so long as I know.’

‘If you’re in any doubts, feel free to ask.’

‘You were right about Rowena.’

‘When you come to know me better,’ he told her gravely, ‘you’ll come to appreciate the fact that I’m
always
right.’

His nonsense lightened the worried expression on her face for a moment. ‘She got drunk after you’d gone.’ She could see immediately that Niall appreciated, perhaps more than she did, just how uncharacteristic this behaviour was.

‘Rowena?’

‘Not fall down staggering drunk, you understand,’ she hastened to assure him. ‘More maudlin, where-is-my-life-going sort of drunk. I never knew,’ she marvelled with transparent naivété, ‘that Rowena ever had any doubts. She always seemed to know exactly what she wants. I think it’s all got something to do with Quinn Tyler.’ She shook her head thoughtfully. Yeah, the more she thought about…‘She didn’t say anything specific, but his name came up a lot. You don’t look surprised,’ she accused. ‘Is that why you had such a down on him? Did you know?’

Niall shrugged. ‘I saw Quinn leaving Rowena’s late one night, a while back. She tried to cover it up but she’d obviously been crying. He’s got a reputation…’

‘So have you,’ she reminded him tartly. It hadn’t escaped her notice he didn’t offer any explanation of what he’d been doing at Rowena’s
late
. ‘And you made me cry, last night.’ She shrugged. ‘Does that make you a bad guy?’

Niall’s big body went rigid; his eyes darkened dramatically. The only time he’d ever seen even a gleam of moisture in Holly’s eyes was after they’d listened to a particularly sloppy piece of Puccini. Tough, self-reliant, stubbornly prosaic Holly crying…Something deep inside him rebelled fiercely at the idea.

‘Probably.’ She didn’t notice his deep voice sounded oddly uneven and more gravelly than usual. ‘You cried?’

Quite suddenly, he knew that he’d do just about anything to protect her from a potentially painful situation…and he’d been the one who made her cry! He took a deep shuddering breath, his nostrils flaring with self-disgust.

‘I do, you know—cry, that is. Though—’ she smiled a bit uncertainly up at him, but he didn’t respond; his expression was oddly wooden, his normally mobile mouth set in a grim straight line ‘—not excessively.’ His jaw, always firm, looked pretty uncompromising.

Niall cleared his throat before he eventually responded. ‘I shouldn’t have said…I didn’t mean to make you cry.’ His grim gaze seemed to be fixed at some point over her left shoulder.

‘I know that, but you were quite right. I’ve been thinking about what you said. We both have our own lives to live. Just because we’re lovers doesn’t give me some sort of exclusivity deal…I know…’

That focused his attention with a vengeance. She took an instinctive step backwards as the laser intensity of his menacing blue glare hit her head-on.

He grabbed her shoulders firmly to stop further retreat. ‘In my bed, it does!’ he ground out.

His fingers bit hard into the soft flesh of her upper arms. It registered in her bemused brain that he was acting as if somehow she’d just mortally offended him.

‘You may not be wearing my ring for real—’

‘I’m not wearing it at all.’ She held up her naked hand to prove the point.

‘But I don’t want to be one of many. There’s a hell of lot of difference between casual and promiscuous.’

‘I wasn’t advocating bed-hopping,’ she gasped, blushing wildly. ‘I meant f-friendships, other commitments and so forth,’ she stammered huskily. ‘Actually, though, I’m quite glad you brought up the subject.’ She certainly hadn’t expected him to and definitely not in such an emphatic and spectacular manner! It would seem she had no worries on that score. ‘I don’t want to be your Friday girl or whatever…The one you fit in between—’

‘The other members of my vast harem.’

She felt his body relax as his grip on her shoulders loosened. The tautness was still there, stretching the skin tight across his jutting, strong cheekbones, and that little nerve was still doing a war-dance in his lean cheek, but he no longer looked as if he was about to explode.

‘Girl Friday?’ One corner of his mouth quivered. He reached forwards and tucked a shiny strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I’ve never been one for juggling,’ he told her gravely. ‘Besides, you’re a high-maintenance sort of girlfriend. I don’t think I’d have the time…’ His dry humour seemed distinctly frazzled around the edges.

‘I was thinking more about the inclination.’ Holly, her confidence soaring, was beginning to enjoy herself. Niall wanted her and nobody else—at least for the moment.

Niall laughed and the remainder of the dangerous, explosive quality left his face. ‘You’re worried about my low boredom threshold?’ His wry expression suggested he found the idea deeply amusing. ‘If I live to be a hundred, you’d never bore me, little witch,’ he told her, framing her face between his big hands. ‘And you can quote me on that if you like.’ His scrutiny held a heart-stopping degree of tender amusement.

Holly smiled back in what she suspected was a besotted sort of way at him. Suddenly she didn’t care about hiding the way she felt. He was bound to find out eventually, she decided fatalistically—why not now? Not that she was going to blurt it out, or anything, but if he caught on, would it really matter…?

‘Do people quote you often?’ she enquired wonderingly. ‘You know, Niall, I’m beginning to worry about your aspirations in the divine direction.’

‘Shut up,’ he advised benignly, just before he kissed her.

Holly tingled from the crown of her burnished head to her toes and all the places in between.
Only a kiss
, she thought wonderingly as he finally lifted his head. Whoever said that had definitely not been kissed by Niall Wesley! She clung to him for support and brought her forehead to rest against his chest.

‘You’re a very excellent kisser.’ She lifted her head, looking slightly sheepish. ‘And you can quote me on that,’ she told him with the beginning of a smile.

Niall caught his breath; he fought a tough internal battle to maintain control. He’d been seduced on several occasions, often by women who were experts at the craft, but never so completely as with that not-quite smile. It was that sort of smile and this was the sort of feeling—the one like a dull knife in his guts—that men had been prepared to fight dragons and wage wars for down the years.

‘I didn’t think you were ever going to get around to it.’ Her smile grew smugly satisfied as she looped her arms around his neck.

Her natural optimism was reasserting itself. This morning hadn’t gone at all as she’d thought it would. She had imagined that Niall, like herself, would have spent the previous night realising that their relationship was doomed—they had nothing whatever in common. Rowena might not have dwelt on her sister’s new and surprising relationship, but with a few well-chosen words she had managed to nurture the seeds of doubt that were already in Holly’s mind after Niall’s cryptic parting shot—it had sounded very like an ultimatum.

‘But then that’s why you asked me to come, isn’t it?’ she reminded him huskily.

He stiffened. She knew straight off she’d said the wrong thing; if she had any doubts, the cold disdain etched on his face didn’t leave much room for doubt on that score. She just couldn’t imagine what it was she’d done to anger him. Confusingly Niall, who had put the ‘laid’ into laid-back, seemed to have suddenly got awfully sensitive. Or was he, despite his reassurances to the contrary, just simply having doubts about the way things were going?

His hands went to hers, which still lay at the base of his skull and he brought them around to shoulder height.

‘Sorry I didn’t wade right into the foreplay, or did you want to skip that, too?’ he enquired crudely. ‘I mean, I can see it must be frustrating for you if I actually want to have a conversation first.’

‘I don’t believe this,’ she gasped, her eyes widening to their fullest extent. ‘You’re actually accusing
me
of using
you
as a sex object!
Excuse me,’
she snapped, trying to pull her wrists from his grip, ‘while I choke on the hypocrisy in the air. When have you treated me like anything else but a body?’ This wasn’t strictly true, but it was worth the lie to see his colour deepen significantly.

‘I mean, what else would you want me for?’ She looked expectantly towards him and for one moment it seemed as if he would reply to her jibe. Holly swallowed her disappointment when he maintained his silence and embraced her growing anger. ‘You’re the one who asked me to come here, and it wasn’t to play dominoes!’ she reflected bitterly.