The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (117 page)

Brothers and Sisters
(TV series),
xiv

Buddhism,
115
,
263

budget sheet,
49
–50

buffets,
149
–50

Burkett, Donna,
14

butlered food service,
151
,
154

C

cake.
See
wedding cake

cake cutting,
249

cake toppers,
37
,
166
–68

calamus,
200

California,
15
,
16
,
17

Canada,
16

candles and candle-lighting ceremonies,
118

car decorations,
251

Carpenter, Kelli,
xiv

carpooling,
57

car services,
244
–45

cascade bouquets,
192

casino as reception entertainment,
226

caterers

choosing,
141
–42

and food choices,
147

for home weddings,
104

interviewing,
145
–47

and location,
87

overview,
140
–41,
142
–43

search for,
143
–44

tipping servers,
54

See also
food service

catering halls and hotels,
91
–93

Census Bureau,
5

ceremonial flowers,
195
–96

ceremony

civilian officials,
111
–12

creation of.
See
ceremony creation

emotional rehearsal,
120

home weddings,
100
–103

involving guests in,
128

location for,
87
–89

overview,
107
–8

pre-week tasks,
237
–42

program for,
120
,
129

recording,
233

themes,
116
–19

transportation to,
243
–45

See also
clergy; members of the wedding; religious ceremonies

ceremony creation

benedictions,
127

music,
128
–30

overview,
119
–20

pronouncements,
126
–27

readings,
125
–26

seating,
131

statement about being gay,
120
–21

unique touches,
131
–32

vows,
119
,
121
–25,
242

wedding party placement,
131

word choices,
121

champagne and champagne fountains,
157

charitable donations in lieu of gifts,
208
,
209
–10

cheap thrills shower,
211

Chicago, Illinois,
15

children

“circle of acceptance” ceremony,
128

entertaining during the event,
174

and honeymoon,
258

inviting to the wedding,
66

as members of the wedding,
190

telling about wedding plans,
25
–26

China,
13

church ceremonies,
87
–89

Church of Christian Fellowship,
14

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
116

“circle of acceptance” ceremony,
128

civic sites for ceremony and/or reception,
95

civilian officials for performing ceremony,
111
–12

Civil Marriage Act (Canada—2005),
16

civil unions,
6
,
8
,
15
,
16
,
262

Civil Unions Law (Vermont—2000),
57

classic photographer vs. photojournalist,
229
–30

clergy

and ceremony,
87
–89,
112
–16

and home weddings,
103

and music,
129

premarital discussions or counseling sessions,
26
–29,
121
–22

See also
religious ceremonies

clothing.
See
apparel

Colbert, Stephen,
47

color of wedding apparel,
184

coming out

and high school reunion,
265
–66

or not,
33

and vendors,
31
–32,
75
,
90
,
206

and wedding plans,
45

at work,
33

commitment and love,
5

“Commitment to Love, A” (wedding fair),
15

communication

with children,
25
–26

and emotions,
41

and guest list,
66
–67

name listed first on wedding invitation,
69

overview,
41
–42

with parents,
23
–25

selecting who to tell,
33
–34

with straight friends and coworkers,
33
–34

See also
coming out

community and location,
86
–87

companies offering benefits for same-gender domestic partners,
6

concierges,
259
–60

Connecticut,
16
,
17

consultation fee when cake shopping,
164

consumer alerts,
35
,
52
,
185
,
223

contracts

with band,
222
,
223

with florist,
199

food service,
158
–59

with location,
158

overview,
52
,
53
–54,
237

with photographer,
231

for rentals,
172

vows as,
119
,
121
–25,
242

corkage fees,
155
–56

corsages,
193
–94

costs.
See
expenses

Council on Religion and the Homosexual,
14

counseling sessions, premarital,
26
–29,
121
–22

country-and-western dancing,
225

country garden bouquets,
192

couples shower,
211

cranes, origami,
132

cruise ship ceremonies,
96

customs restrictions,
258

D

dance music,
225

date, setting the,
43

Daughters of Bilitis,
14

Davis, Gray,
16

Dean, Craig,
34

Deaton, Charles,
15

Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA),
7
,
15
,
17

DeGeneres, Ellen,
xiv
,
55
,
165
,
239

Denig, Edwin,
13

Denmark,
15

department stores

for apparel,
185

for invitations,
74

deposits,
54
,
172

de Rossi, Portia,
xiv

dessert reception menu,
150

destination weddings,
56
,
86
–87

Dialogues of the Courtesans
(Lucian),
13

diamonds,
21

Dignity USA,
116

Dilena, Diane Greenberg,
54

Dinah Shore Weekend, Palm Springs,
257

discrimination, dealing with,
34

divorce,
57
–58

divorce rate,
4

DJs,
224

domestic partnerships,
6
,
8
,
15
,
16
,
17
,
262

Dom Perignon,
157

doves, releasing,
132

drinking and driving,
158

Duncan, Robert,
259
–60

DVDs of ceremony,
233

E

East, Mary,
14

Eastwood, Clint,
234

“Elizabeth Taylor” wedding package,
255

Ellen DeGeneres Show, The,
xiv
,
55

emotionally charged issues,
4
–5

emotional rehearsal,
120

Engaged and Underage
(MTV),
xiv

engagement

the announcement,
22

engagement party,
26

and living together,
19

preparing for married life,
26
–29,
121
–22

the proposal,
20
–21

rings,
21
–22

telling your children,
25
–26

telling your parents,
23
–250

engraving,
76

Entertaining
(Stewart),
168

entertainment,
219
,
225
–26.
See also
music for reception

envelopes for invitations,
83
–84

environmental/green tips,
55
–57,
193

Episcopal Church,
115

equality, marriage as a road to,
4

ethnic cuisine,
147

etiquette

apparel,
176
,
178
,
180
–81

boutonnieres,
193

cake tops,
167
–68

freezing cake,
169

gifts,
26
,
203
–5,
209

invitations,
69
,
75
,
83
,
84

members of the wedding,
108
,
131

and open bars,
155

response cards,
73

thank-you notes,
215

of wedding hosts/hostesses,
247

and wedding style,
44

Evans, Manonia,
14

evites,
78

exchanging rings,
119
–20

expenses

alcohol service,
155
–57

apparel,
184
,
185
–86,
187

entertainment,
220
,
224

flowers,
191
,
198

food service,
149
,
154

invitations,
75
–76,
78

location,
90
,
91

music for ceremony,
128
–30,
239

music for reception,
219
–25

officiant of ceremony,
111

overview,
45
,
48
–51

photographer and videographer,
105
,
227
–28

transportation on wedding day,
244
–45

tux rental,
180

wedding cake,
162
–63,
169

See also
food service; rentals; rings

F

Facebook profiles,
29
,
262

Facebook RSVPs,
73

“fairy tale,”
xi

family, inviting members of,
64
–66.
See also
children

fantasizing,
42

female vs. male attitudes toward weddings,
42

Fierstein, Harvey,
5
,
66

fire rituals,
117
–18

flag for ceremony,
132

floral designers,
198

Florida,
17

florists,
197
–200

flowers

arranging,
201
–2

bouquets,
192
–93

boutonnieres,
193

ceremonial,
195
–96

corsages,
193
–94

florists,
197
–200

homosexual meanings,
199
–200

leis,
194

overview,
191
–92

at reception,
196

reusing or composting,
56

food rituals,
118
–19

food service

beverages,
154
–58

buffets,
149
–50

consumption estimates,
158

food choices,
147
–49

food stations,
150
–51

guests' expectations fulfilled,
152
–53

overview,
139
–40

paperwork related to,
158
–59

passed trays,
151
,
154

sit-down,
154

See also
caterers

“Force for Families, A” (American Home Economics Association),
125

formalizing your relationship,
29

friends

as civilian officials for performing ceremony,
111
–12

drinking and driving,
158

as extended family,
22

and families,
26

and gifts,
204
–5,
209
,
212

and guest list,
66
–67,
83

helper bee for rehearsal and wedding day,
238
–40

help for home weddings,
103
,
104
–6

involving in ceremony,
128
,
132

as members of the wedding,
109
–10

and photographs,
227
,
231

of your parents,
23

Friends
(TV series),
45

Furnish, David,
xiv

G

garlands of flowers,
191
–92

garter,
188

gay merchants,
34
–35,
207
,
255
,
256
–60