The Exception to the Rule (35 page)

The room filled with laughter. Julian looked over at me and smiled. I shook my head and smiled back.

I was asked to come here and speak tonight about closing the gap on childhood cancer and being a hero in a child’s life and I had a speech all prepared for that. But I’ve decided to go a little off topic, because the true heroes are the children that I encounter every day who are living through cancer. Who are enduring the rigorous treatments each and every day and never giving up. We can only give them the medicine to make them better but they have to have the will to never give up. I guess I never realized this; I was always like a robot programmed to give the right doses of chemo and radiation and move on to the next patient. I never looked at the big picture of it all until I was able to see it from the other side when my son was diagnosed with leukemia. 

There were some gasps from the room and those people who knew me and Matty’s situation were putting the pieces together realizing that Julian was Matty’s father. Tricia took my hand and I could see she was starting to get as choked up as I was. Julian continued.

Nothing in medical school and no amount of training prepares you for the true pain that it puts on the child, the parents, and everyone who loves them. Watching him suffer, in pain and crying and knowing there was nothing else in the world that I could do for him – he had to have the will to fight it and he did. So I want to say thank you to Matty for making me realize this. He’s one of the bravest kids I know. I also want to say thank you to his mom, who opened up my eyes in so many ways and made me see what really matters most in this world.

There was a loud round of applause. I wiped a tear from my eye and looked at Julian, who was staring at me.

“Oh my goodness, Kat, I can’t believe he did that. That was so sweet,” Tricia said, wiping the tears from her eyes. I shook my head, unable to speak. I had never expected Julian to express himself in such a way, and it really meant a lot to me. James and Tricia headed off to the dance floor while I remained at the table. I was deep in thought over Julian’s speech. 

“Did you pay attention this time?” Julian came up from behind me, making me jump. He sat down in the empty seat next to me.

“That was a great speech,” I said.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked.

“But I thought you didn’t dance,” I teased.

“I’ve been known to make exceptions.” I stood up as he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. 

He pulled me close as we began to move. “Well I’m happy to see that your dancing has improved over the years,” I mocked. He just smiled and shook his head. “I can’t believe Matty’s coming home tomorrow,” I said gleefully. Julian was silent. I looked up to meet his gaze. The look in his eyes seemed different. He made me feel as if it was just him and me in this room and not the hundreds of people surrounding us. 

 “What’s the matter?” I asked. He shook his head as if nothing were bothering him, but I could tell that he had something on his mind. “I guess we need to sit down soon and figure out a schedule for Matty,” I said, trying to break the silence. He sighed deeply and pulled me closer, so close that I could feel his heart beating. I was in a trance, being in his arms, feeling his body touching mine. If there was any doubt in my mind before, it was now gone – I was still so very much in love with him.

 I felt his hands begin to move up my back as my stomach fluttered and my knees weakened. “You have no idea how badly I want you right now,” he whispered in my ear. I knew it couldn’t have been any more than I wanted him.

“Can you leave?” I asked wondering if he was all done with his part of this dinner.

“I really don’t care if I can’t,” he said as he pressed his forehead against mine.

 I looked up at him, more than happy to appease his wishes as I took his hand and led him off the dance floor. I quickly grabbed my purse as we maneuvered our way through the droves of people standing around talking. In the back of my mind I was beginning to think of the emotional impact this may have afterwards. But I didn’t care; I would deal with that tomorrow. For right now, I just knew that I wanted him more than anything.

Chapter 36

“Julian Kiron,” I heard a woman’s voice as we were almost out the door. I turned around to find a tall very well endowed blonde wearing a short black dress that left nothing to the imagination. I was quite certain that both her hair color and breasts were fake. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little inadequate as I looked at the size of her chest compared to mine. She was assessing Julian up and down while Julian looked at her blankly as if he were clueless to who she was.

“Don’t you remember me?” she asked with an over confident smile. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t,” Julian answered.

“Remember, we met at a benefit dinner back in Chicago a few years ago – Stacia Doberman,” she said raising her eyebrows.

“Oh -” he said with a nervous look on his face as if the light bulb in his head finally turned on.

“That was a great speech you gave, but I didn’t realize you had a son,” she said as she looked at me and gave me a phony smile. 

Julian nodded as he nervously ran his hand through his hair. “Well, it was nice seeing you again. Come on Kat, let’s go.”

“Oh wait, I’m sorry are you his wife?” she asked smugly. I was just about to tell her no but stopped myself as she continued on.

 “Dr. Martin just told me your little boy is five-years-old and that she’s the mother of your child,” she said as she pointed at me.

“And?” Julian asked sarcastically. I could see that his patience was running thin.

 “Well, when we had our little one night thing two years ago – you failed to mention that you had a wife and a son – but then again there wasn’t much talking going on that night was there?” She looked at me with a devious grin.

 I took a deep breath and looked at Julian. He looked nervous which was so out of character for him. I wasn’t quite sure if it was from running into this woman or because he was afraid of what my reaction would be to her. I knew that I couldn’t really tell her what I thought of her in front of all of these people without making a scene. Even though it killed me inside coming face to face with one of Julian’s exlovers; I took the high road and decided to kill her with kindness ignoring the little voice that was telling me otherwise. 

“Oh no, I’m not his wife, I clarified. “My name is Kat, very nice to meet you - Stacia, is that your name?” I asked in an overly sweet voice. She nodded with a perplexed look on her face. “Now if you’ll please excuse us.”

I started to move forward to exit. “Well, don’t be expecting anything from him after tonight; he’ll be done with you and move on to the next. But then again you should know all about that. He knocked you up and still couldn’t stay committed,” she said.

 “What?” I turned around and asked. I could feel the anger building up inside of me.

“Kat, just come on,” Julian coaxed as he must have seen the look on my face. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away, but I broke free.

My sickening sweet persona was completely gone as I got right in her face. “You have no clue what my relationship is with Julian,” I said angrily. Truth be told I wasn’t even sure of what our relationship was.

“Oh honey, surely you must know that a man like him is only interested in one thing,” she said raising her eyebrow.

“You know what, that’s enough,” Julian’s voice was growing angrier. “Just because you’re – ”

“Because I’m what? Some woman that you had a one night fling with and then never called again,” she said.

 I could see the hurt in her eyes and I almost felt sorry for her. I wondered how many other women out there were taken by Julian’s good looks and charm. If we didn’t have Matty together would I have been one of those women who he had just checked off a list. I immediately began to think of the repercussions if I were to sleep with him tonight. I was in love with him and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle the aftermath if he didn’t feel the same. I wanted something beyond physical with him and I knew that my heart couldn’t handle taking that risk tonight.

“You know what – I’m going to go. I’ll meet you at the hospital in the morning,” I said to Julian. 

 I glanced over at the woman who had a look of triumph on her face. “Sorry,” she said as she shrugged her shoulders and gave Julian a sarcastic smile. Julian returned her smile with a look of pure disgust.

“Kat,” Julian shouted as he came chasing after me, finally catching up to me in the parking lot. I turned around finally ready to face him. “That woman meant nothing, you have to believe me,” he said.

“Well, I could certainly see that, considering you didn’t even remember her. But did it ever occur to you that maybe it meant something to her?” I asked.

“I told you, I don’t make promises to anyone that I can’t keep.”

I nodded, “yes, I know, I was the perfect example of that.” 

He looked at me sadly. “No Kat, you were so different.”

“How was I different - just because we have a child together? I guess I was lucky that day that I tracked you down at the hospital that you at least remembered my name.” I could feel my voice cracking with emotion.

“Kat, I cared about you. I wanted to be with you. You were so different from any girl I had ever met. I thought about you all the time. I would always ask James how you were when I would talk to him. He was always so vague with his answers. I just assumed you were living happily with some other guy – never in a million years did I imagine that the other guy was my son.” He moved closer to me as he grabbed my arm. “How could you even compare what we had to her? It was so much more.” 

I tried to release my arm from his grip but he held it tighter so I couldn’t get away. “Ouch Julian, you’re hurting –” I was totally taken off guard when he pulled me closer and his lips came crashing down on mine. I briefly tried to put up a fight as his tongue invaded my mouth but he wasn’t surrendering. I found myself kissing him back with the same intensity until I was finally able to gain the strength to stop and push him away. His beautiful eyes gazing at me through his dark lashes made me melt but I stayed strong.

“No Julian, I can’t do this with you again. I know that I told you I wouldn’t expect any promises from you - but I do. Promises that I know you can’t keep and my heart just can’t handle getting over you again.”

“Will you please just listen to what I have to -” Julian’s voice grew louder, before being interrupted by James.

“Hey Julian, I’ve been looking all over for you. Dr. Martin wants to introduce you to one of the members of the Board of Trustees,” James said. Julian was totally ignoring James never taking his eyes from me the whole time.

“Is everything okay?” James asked as he looked at both of us. “Matty’s okay, right?

“Yes, Matty’s fine,” I finally answered.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at eight Julian,” I said trying to sound as if everything were as normal as possible. He was silent, still staring at me as I turned around and made my way to my car.

I sat in my car for a few minutes trying to pull it together. I was so angry at myself for getting in the same position that I had been with him years ago. I wanted to be with him more than anything, but I wasn’t willing to risk another heartache. The tears I had been holding in began to stream down my face simultaneously with the raindrops that began to pelt my windshield.

The rain was beginning to fall harder as I drove out of the parking lot and by the time I pulled out onto the main road it was pouring. The teeming rain and dark rural roads made driving next to impossible. I tried my best to concentrate when my phone began ringing from my purse. I looked down quickly to see it was Julian. I had half a mind to just let it go to voicemail but instead I quickly switched it to speaker and answered.

“I know you’re upset and you can hang up on me, tell me to go to hell or do whatever you want. But first will you please just listen to what I have to tell you?” Julian pleaded. I could hardly hear him over the swishing of my windshield wipers and the pelting rain.

“Julian - please just stop,” I could feel myself tearing up once again at the sound of his voice.

“No, I’m not going to stop until you know exactly how I feel about you.” 

Those were the last words I heard before I slammed on my brakes – then there was total darkness.

Chapter 37

I could hear the beeping of machines but I didn’t know where I was. My head was pounding and I wanted to open my eyes so badly but I couldn’t. Where was I? Was I dreaming? I faintly heard a familiar voice—it was Charles. I tried calling out to him but nothing came out. My whole body ached and it hurt to breathe. Why couldn’t I open my eyes? I was so tired. I drifted off to sleep for quite some time.

“Kat, please wake up.” It was Julian.

 I’m here, Julian. I can hear you; why can’t you hear me? I felt the warmth of his hand on mine as he kissed me gently on my forehead. I need to open my eyes; I need to see him. My eyelids felt like they had weights on top of them anchoring them down and no matter how hard I tried they just wouldn’t open.

Where was I? The smell of this place was so familiar but I couldn’t figure out where I was. I heard an unfamiliar voice. “It’s been forty-eight hours. I’m going to be honest with you, Dr. Kiron, we were hoping she would have come out of it by now.” I’m up; why can’t anyone hear me? 

I almost didn’t recognize Tricia’s voice. She sounded so monotone and sad, so unlike her normal happy self.

“Julian, you should really go back to Kat’s and get some rest, you look exhausted. Matty’s been asking about you, he needs you. I’ll be here and I promise I’ll call if anything happens,” Tricia pleaded.

“I can’t leave her, this is all my fault,” Julian sounded shaken.

“Julian, this is not your fault in any way.” Tricia said compassionately.

“If she didn’t get upset with me, then she would have been with me, she wouldn’t have been alone,” Julian said.