The Fall (13 page)

“You missed me? That’s laughable. I seem to recall you walking away without looking back,” I said, turning toward the door. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to revisit the past.”

“Dallas, I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“Leave me the hell alone,” I pushed out, turning the knob and walking out but not before hearing his last words.

“I can’t.”

Dean

• Then
  

Days after the party, I was talking to Rob in front of the dining hall when I saw her. I stopped mid-sentence as she approached. I could tell by the way she regarded me she was going to pretend like nothing had happened between us. But I was done pretending the minute I had touched her.

“Dean, Rob,” she greeted. She noticed my glare and stopped with a laugh. “Why, Dean, is that the look of love you are giving me?”

She was dressed in a tight t-shirt and a catholic schoolgirl skirt. I inwardly groaned as I looked her over. Still, I was too furious with her to speak. I walked away with Rob, who was still talking.

Dallas followed as I left the quad, but I ignored her. “Stop right now,” she demanded as I continued to walk. “Stop, Dean,” she pleaded as she followed. I kept walking and heard her cry out in surprise. I turned in time to watch her fall to the ground her book bag flying behind her. She looked down at her knee to examine it as I joined her. Standing in front of her, I watched as she blew on her flawless skin, a slow smile forming on her lips.

She’d faked her fall.

“Nice try, Dallas,” I snapped.

“It worked,” she mused up at me, brushing herself off as she stood. “What’s your problem?”

“You know exactly what my problem is, Dallas Whitaker.”

“Oh, the first and last name...We are friends. What happened shouldn’t change a thing.”

I shook my head and walked away. I couldn’t get my thoughts together, the hurt from her brush off building in me and fueling my anger. She followed me to the frat house and ignored the door I closed on her, opening it up with a laugh and walking upstairs just a step behind me. At my bedroom door, I reeled on her.

“Stop following me!”

She laughed out despite me.

Spitfire.

“What’s the problem? Do the girls you casually screw hold it against you?”

“I didn’t casually screw you. I made love to you for hours and you want to treat it like nothing happened between us. You clearly weren’t ready,” I said, convinced.

She avoided my sincerity again with another dismissive statement. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you hated it so much. It didn’t seem like it to me.”

“I didn’t hate it and you know it,” I said quickly.

She walked over and brushed my lips with hers. “Prove it.” She gripped me, finding me already hard then let go.

I scanned her from head to toe and back up again. My mind whirled with endless scenarios and an ache I now had solely for her.

I gripped her t-shirt, jerking her inside my room. We stood face to face in front of the door, neither of us talking as my breathing picked up. I captured her lips with my teeth, biting harshly, before I tasted her, getting my fill. Her lips were completely responsive to mine as she took back with a greedy tongue before I pulled away.

“This isn’t a game, Dallas,” I mumbled, holding her lip between my teeth before I let it go.

“Seems like fun to me,” she said in a whisper, her eyes beckoning me. She was avoiding our connection purposefully and was refusing to let me in. She had turned the tables, and I didn’t know how to handle it.

“Okay, Dallas, you want to do the fuck between friends thing, I’ll treat you like every other girl. Which means this,” I said, leaning over as I lifted her skirt up and ran my fingers along the top of her panties, “is mine and you will do exactly what I tell you to for as long as I tell you to, got it?” She nodded yes, her eyes filling with heat.

I turned her away from me, pressing her forehead against the door. I heard her moan as I licked the nape of her neck and my fingers found her ready and willing. After fumbling with a condom, I was buried inside her, thrusting hard.

“This is what you want, Dally?” I questioned, pounding into her as her nails clawed the door, grappling for something to hold on to.

“God, yes, Dean. Don’t stop!”

“This is all you want from me!” I lashed out, angry at how incredible she felt.

“Please...please don’t stop,” she begged.

“So you like being fucked?” I bit out, slamming into her, harder, deeper as I pistoned my hips.

“I like you fucking me, Dean. Don’t...stop!”

I made it a slow, torturous punishment as I repeatedly stopped her from letting go every time she was on the brink.

“Let me come, Dean.”

“No!”

“Let me come!”

“NO!”

She bent over further, making my reach deeper, meeting my thrust. I cursed as she tightened around me, coming hard and screaming my name. A heartbeat later, my orgasm spilled into her as I grabbed her. We slumped onto the ground, gasping for air. We both lay there half-dressed, thoroughly fucked, and panting. We didn’t speak as we caught our breath, our eyes locked. I sat up after a few moments, shaking my head as I mumbled, “I never wanted to just fuck you, Dallas.”

“Let it go, Dean. I am not the girl you think I am,” she fired back.

“You are exactly who I think you are...You are the girl who cleaned my house when I had an out of control party and passed out and was too sick to clean it for myself.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“You are the girl who literally talked my best friend off a ledge when he caught his girl cheating.”

“Nolan was one of my best friends, too, Dean.”

“You are the girl who picked me up every single day for school when I broke my leg on the senior trip.”

“Yeah, I’m that girl. If you want to show me you care for me be there for me always and don’t hold this against me. I did a lot of that stuff because I had a horrible crush on you, it seems silly now, don’t you think? You’ve screwed half the girls on campus. It’s just not realistic for you and me to be a couple, but I want you, Dean. I can’t help it and I know you want me, too.”

“Not this way,” I snapped then pulled my pants up. Her words crushed me. I had no idea how to come back from that.

“Dean? Come on! This isn’t fair. I waited for you for a year in high school. You never made a move. I got over it, now you are going to hold it against me for feelings you refused to show me you had?”

“You were barely sixteen and that sick fuck Reiner obviously didn’t have a problem with it, but I did. I couldn’t be physical with you and live with myself. I wanted you so badly, but if I had touched you, I knew it would have been the end of me. You weren’t ready, Dallas.” I sat against the door, my knees drawn up and forearms sitting on top of them. “You were way too young for anything serious, and I couldn’t handle the age difference, period.”

She looked completely stunned, as if I could knock her over with a feather.

“I spent three years crying over you, Dean Martin, wondering what in the hell I had done that was so bad to lose you. I thought it was Reiner and you are telling me you cared for me so much you had to stay away?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” My heart was pounding as I laid it in her hands.

“Bullshit,” she said, sliding her panties on and picking up her bag. “I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure when you care for someone you don’t abandon them and make them think they aren’t important. You tell them how much they mean to you, you touch them, you...you let them know you care...and you don’t fuck everyone they know and never speak to them again.”

“Is that what this is about? Who I’ve slept with?” I already knew the answer.

She pulled her skirt down and thought only briefly before facing me. “Maybe...High school, now here. I can’t go one day without hearing what an amazing fuck you are. I mean...how can I take you seriously?” She grabbed her bag and turned toward me as I sat still blocking the door. “At least I have first-hand knowledge now.”

“Dallas, look at me,” I said, commanding her attention. She slowly looked down at me, a cloud of hurt covering her face. “It stops now. I only want you.”

“I am pretty much the only one left, aren’t I?”

“Stop it. I haven’t slept with half of the women you think I have.” It was true, my reputation had proceeded me. But I was still guilty, and it was hurting her again.

“Well, we all have our dirty secrets, right?”

“I know everything, Dallas,” I said, tugging her hand from the floor so she was forced to look at me. I pulled myself to my feet. She pulled at the door and I closed it, shaking my head no. She let out a frustrated breath as she paced in front of me. “I know that you dated Johnny Rivers your entire junior year and never slept with him. I know you went to prom with Michael Morehouse senior year and broke his nose that night because he cornered Rose at an after party. I know you went to summer school to retake classes and bring up your GPA. I know that you smoked pot in the steam room on your senior trip in Florida. I know that you damn near drown in Lake Grapevine drinking with friends on the 4
th
of July. I know the car you drove, the guys you dated, and of two you left broken hearted over the summer. I also know the very fucking minute you got into that car to come here and the reason I know is because I asked. And the reason I fucking asked is because I had to know because I couldn’t wait for you to get back to me.”

My heart was pounding out of control as she let out a hard breath of disbelief, mouth gaping. Twin tears slid down her face as she studied me, absorbing my words. I scooped her into my arms, declaring to her what I’d wanted to for as long as I’d known her.

“I love you, Dallas. I just couldn’t do a damn thing about it until now.”

"You are romantic and beautiful but you are completely reckless with the people that love you"  - Laura (Room 212)

Dallas

• Now
  

Five cold showers due to Dean’s kiss and a temper tantrum with my wayward hair later, I was dressing for the Dallas Memorial fundraiser. All doctors unscheduled were asked firmly to attend and I knew I would see Dean tonight. It took me hours to attempt to pick out a dress only to throw on some clothes and spend close to a thousand dollars on a new one. It was a deep purple that hugged my torso perfectly and flowed loosely around the bottom. It had a deep V in back, complemented with small, black rhinestones. I got a quick wax and had spent another hundred getting an unnecessary facial. I would have to eat TV dinners for a month to make up for it. I was saving every spare dime I had to open my practice.

I was still furious with my inability to keep Dean’s touch out of my thoughts when Josh came in, dressed to perfection, then nuzzled my bare back. I pulled out of his grasp.

“What the hell?” he questioned, eyeing me carefully.

“This...fucking...hairdryer!” I said, throwing it down and watching the plastic pieces fly all over the floor.

“I guess you showed it who’s boss,” he said, his laughter echoing throughout my tiny bathroom.

“Will you get out! Just get out!” I said, shoving him out the door, half-animated, half-frustrated out of my mind.

“Jeez, I’ll get you some wine,” he said, backing up, his eyes wide.

“I’m sorry,” I offered in an apology. “Wine would be good, thanks.”

Damn it!

I shut the door behind him and slumped down on my toilet lid, breathing in deep.

I knew exactly why I was falling apart. I had no right to take my frustration out on Josh. In the last month I had lost my damn mind. If I was a mess when Dean walked into my appointment, I was a total basket case at this point. I'd spent the last seven years re-imagining my life—a life without him—and strengthening the woman he left behind. I had to protect myself...my heart from ever being that vulnerable again. He was ruining me by being here, and now I was more than tempted to let him do so.

The way I had always been when it came to Dean.

The way I always feared I would be.