The Fall (8 page)

It had all come to a head at my track meet finals. For the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to a date. There was a girl my age, newly eighteen, who seemed like the perfect candidate to get Dallas out of my head. My prospective date, Lindsey, was sitting in the stands. I waved to her, seeing Dallas a few rows over wave back at me. Lindsey was oblivious, but Dallas noticed her right away. And as usual, watching, Dallas’s face fall in recognition of my attention on another girl, I felt bad, as I should’ve for letting her get so close to me. Dallas had been to every single track meet, every single pep rally. She was by far the best friend I had ever had. I hadn’t made a mistake in making her my best friend. I had made a huge mistake in that I had fallen for her.

She was only fifteen!

It all came down to that. I couldn’t get past it and I wouldn’t. Most guys wouldn’t blink at the age difference, but I wasn’t most guys. She was untouched, that much I knew. It was settled. I caught Lindsey’s eyes and she smiled. I looked at Dallas, who was clearly hurt, and wiped my face with a towel.

What the fuck are you doing, Dean?

I’d noticed the subtle changes in Dallas’s dress, the skirts getting slightly shorter, she wore more makeup, more perfume. She was desperately trying to get my attention and God help me she had all of it. We had come a long way as friends in such little time and much more. I had dragged her on a few double dates to try to change the dynamic that was slowly building between us to keep things friendly and less intimate, but it wasn’t working. I missed her when she was not around, and I rarely paid much attention to my date, watching her date like a hawk, though I had handpicked and threatened every single one.

I had been to her home often and somehow became an integrated part of her family. I entertained Rose and had even become chummy with her older brother, Paul. She had met my parents on numerous occasions and had even lived through the scrutiny of my mother, who now adored her and threatened my life if I so much touched a hair on her head.

As hard as I had tried to keep our relationship a friendship, I had failed. She was now a part of me.

There was no going back, and that was becoming clear with each day. I had to do the right thing, even if it meant hurting her. Even if it hurt me.

I finished my meet and saw Dallas waiting at the bottom of the stands. I groaned when I took in her tiny shorts and snug shirt. I glanced at Lindsey, who had her hand up to her ear in a ‘call me’ gesture. I nodded and approached Dallas with caution.

“Hi.” She greeted me with a breathtaking smile.

God, you are beautiful.

“Hi,” I said back, hoping she couldn’t hear my inner musing.

“Good meet. I would congratulate you, but half the women here fainted when you took your shirt off. I think that’s enough of an ego boost for one day,” she joked. She lifted her hand as if to run fingers through my hair, but I stopped her quickly.

“Dallas, where are your clothes?” I snapped as I took a step back. She gaped at me, clearly shocked by her reception. I saw her embarrassment turn to anger as a few onlookers snickered at her discomfort.

“What the hell is your problem, Martin?” I knew the question didn’t just have to do with today. I had been returning less of her calls and spending a little less time with her. She was an extremely smart girl and if for one second I thought I could tell her I returned her feelings without the result being that she tried harder, I would.

I didn’t want to take that chance. I knew I would give in to the physical, even if the gentlemen I wanted to be couldn’t live with that. She already held a coveted place in my heart. She wouldn’t be just another girl.

Not to mention, it was totally fucking illegal. And those were the kind of charges that stuck, that stifle a medical career.

She was still looking at me when I realized I hadn’t answered her.

“Nothing, I don’t have a problem,” I barked back. “I just didn’t expect you to greet me in your underwear.”

She pushed past me in a huff, stomping off toward the parking lot.

“Dallas,” I called after her, apology clear in my voice.

“Bite me, Martin,” she said, pulling out her cell to text someone.

“You need a ride?” I said, quickly catching up with her. I grabbed her arm and turned her to face me and saw her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

I was the worst human alive.

“I’m sorry,” I said instantly. I had never seen Dallas’s resolve waver in the six months I had known her. The guilt I felt in that moment left a large lump in my throat. She looked at her flip-flops, refusing to meet my eyes. I grasped her chin and she took it away with a quick turn of her head. She took deep breaths to calm herself.

“I just won’t come anymore,” she whispered.

“No, Dallas, it’s not that,” I offered. But what the hell could I say? I needed her to stay away. I needed to get her out of my head.

“It’s fine.” She looked up as tears disbursed down her cheeks. “I am weird. I am. And you know that about me. No one else does. I thought we got along. I thought we—”

“You’re perfect,” I interrupted. Only a step closer and I would have her in my arms. I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “We do get along, Dallas,” I offered, fisting my hands in effort to keep from pulling her to me. She glared at me.

“No, you and girls like Lindsey do. I’m just...me.” She looked past me and I noticed her mother’s SUV pulling up. “Bye,” she rasped out, wiping her face before making quick strides to the truck and jumping in.

“Mom, don’t.” I heard her hiss her protest as the passenger window rolled down. Dallas sank in her seat, clearly embarrassed. I felt for her. My mother was just as intrusive.

“Hi, Dean,” she chimed. “Did he win?” she tried to ask Dallas discreetly. She sat with her arms crossed, giving her mother a murderous stare.

“I did,” I answered for her, leaning into Dallas’s window. She flinched as I inched near her and I shared a knowing smile with her mother, Laura. Dallas was anything but forgiving when she was mad.

“Thanks for coming, Dallas.” I kissed her cheek and waved at them as they drove off. I saw Dallas glance at me in the rearview. I smiled broadly and caught her reluctant smile.

My spitfire.

Sitting in my car in front of her house on prom night had tested my limits. I had wanted to ask her. In truth, all year I had only wanted her. I saw her bedroom light on as I sat in my tux, ready for a night I didn’t want to spend without her. I was supposed to pick up my date in twenty minutes but couldn’t tear myself away from staring at her window. I was leaving in two months and should have been relieved that I had kept my gentlemen’s vow. It wasn’t just physical. Dallas had a way of challenging me. Whether it was an argument about my time on the track, which she kept up with to the half second, or the definition of a blind spot when I taught her how to drive, she had a way of making me crazy and needing more of her at the same time. She was often successful in taunting the angry Spaniard in me. And more often than not, she brought out the best in me with the way she regarded me.

I had come so close to kissing her on her sixteenth birthday.

I knew she felt it because the pull was so damn strong it was undeniable. I had pulled away at the last second and she’d almost called me on it.

Looking up at her window and without thinking, I grabbed my date’s corsage and walked to her door. Her father answered with a smile and an arched brow.

“Dallas,” he called up the stairs, staring at me with amusement. She stopped at the top of the stairs, looking at me in confusion. I felt like a complete idiot. She slowly descended, looking between her father and me for answers.

“Hi,” she squeaked. She had on a Dallas Cowboys fitted tee and shorts. “I think I may be underdressed.”

Her father, Seth, gave me an inquisitive look before taking his leave. I silently thanked him.

Dallas led me onto the porch. “Dean, somewhere there is a girl in a prom dress waiting on you.”

“I know,” I fumbled out as she looked up at me for explanation. Somehow, with nervous hands, I managed to take the solid white Lilly out of the corsage box.

“I wanted you to have this.” She shook her head, looking up at me.

“Why?”

“Because.”

Way with words, Martin.

I slipped it on her wrist as she admired the flower. “Dean, it’s beautiful, really, but I can’t take another girls corsage. She picked up the packaging from the porch and slid the flower back in, handing it back to me.

“Girls daydream about this night, Dean. That poor girl waiting on you probably has a thousand scenarios of how this night will go. She’s probably checked her appearance a million times and is looking out her window waiting for your arrival.”

“I thought you were going with Reiner.”

“I changed my mind. I was kind of holding out for something better.” I didn’t miss it and she didn’t let me.

“Dallas—”

“Go, you’ll be late. You look...really good.” She walked inside and shut the door, turning off the porch light.

I cursed my damn gentlemen’s vow as I walked down her steps. What I thought was selflessness had turned into pure stupidity.

Prom was a complete blur and unfortunately for my date, I was distracted. I saw relief in her eyes when I took her home at midnight.

A few weeks before graduation, I showed up to Reiner’s third party in a month with Daisy Tipton on my arm. Dallas was on the porch. She stood up to greet me and immediately lost her balance and flew forward. I let go of Daisy and caught Dallas quickly, getting a strong whiff of her poison and establishing the cause of her sudden immobility.

“Whoa, buddy, you have been hitting the sauce hard,” I noted, immediately on edge. How long had she been drinking out here?

“Dean, you know I don’t like Daisy. Don’t screw her. Ew, not her.” My eyes widened and I had to stifle a laugh as Daisy spewed her venom.

“I can hear you, bitch,” she snapped in warning.

“Oh, you can hear me?” She hiccupped as she took a step out of my arms, her body swaying and her attention toward Daisy. “Hear this, I would rather be a bitch than the passed around whore you are.”

Daisy didn’t hesitate before landing a hard slap on the side of Dallas’s face. Dallas smiled spitefully as if to say ‘thank you,’ her hand going up to cup her reddening cheek. She had purposefully just started a fight.

My spitfire was drunk and things were about to get nasty.

I reached for Dallas just as she lunged for Daisy.

“Daisy, we’re done,” I said simply, turning my head toward her as I held Dallas back, who was flailing her arms desperately trying to get her shot at Daisy.

Daisy looked at me incredulously. “You don’t mean that!”

“No, I do. We are done,” I said, turning away from her and wrapping Dallas in my embrace, trapping her arms around her and carrying her to the side of the house. Once she stopped fighting me, I cupped her red cheek and grinned at her.

“Okay, you want to explain what just happened back there?”

“No,” she said, looking up at me as I tried to gently thumb away the burn in her cheek. For the first time in months, I saw it, the longing. My chest cracked in recognition.

“Dean, why won’t you kiss me?” she asked as she leaned into my hand, her eyes raw and searching mine.