The Far Side of Lonesome (4 page)

Sarah felt a pang of something in her
heart, as though their leaving her would affect her. That was
silly, these men were just doing a good deed, and it wasn’t as if
they cared for her or anything. But the void wouldn’t go away even
as she reasoned it.

* * * * *

Long into the night Jeb wrestled with
turning the woman lose on her own. He prayed she’d be all right,
but the worry didn’t leave him. This woman had been through so much
and it wasn't over yet. How much could a person take?

The woman had no chance no matter what
happened. And it worried him, because he had interfered and brought
her with him, now what was he supposed to do with her? At the time
it seemed like the only thing he could do. Hoot had agreed. They
couldn’t walk off and leave her there. Now, it seemed like the
dumbest thing he’d ever done.

He sighed and knocked the fire down a
bit.

He was about to get some sleep when
someone opened fire on their camp.

Hoot and Jeb grabbed for their rifles
and motioned for the woman to get down.

Sarah instinctively grabbed for the
baby and covered him with her body.

There was a tolerable amount of
scurrying about, bushes moving, yelps and then silence. Jeb knew
the Indians were out there waiting for them to make a
mistake.

They were in a heavy set of brush and
it was hard to see who was shooting at them. But just by the way
the attackers moved about, it was for sure and certain it was
Indians.

The woman suddenly crawled up behind
Jeb and whispered, “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Crowfoot most likely. You stay down.”
Jeb instructed.

“Maybe I should go back to them…” she
offered, her face pale in the moonlight.

“You really want to do that?” Jeb
hollered as he frowned at her and watched the play of emotions
crossing her face. He saw the moment of hesitation.

She shook her head, “No…but you pointed
out this evening that there was little future for me, with my child
along. My girls might not have anything to do with me either.
Crowfoot loves us…I’m aware of that too. And without my son I’d be
nothing. I can’t and won’t give him up, because he has no chance in
this world without me. I love him, I'm his mother. It’s a fact; I’m
on the far side of lonesome. There’s no use the two of you getting
killed on the count of me. If I go back the chief will
understand…eventually.”

Jeb frowned, “Maybe, maybe not. You’re
right about the far side of lonesome, Hoot and I know that feeling
well. But, we’ll figure this out and everything will work out. We
just got to use our heads, that’s all…and maybe pray a little
too.”

“Why?” she twisted her head in
question. “Nothing you do will change how the whites think about
the Indians. Besides, why you want to get mixed up with a crazy,
white woman?”

“Why?” Jeb looked incredulous at
her.

“You’re a black man; why would you
worry over the fate of a white woman?” she asked, as she checked
the baby and saw him sleeping comfortably behind a tree.

Jeb closed his eyes for a minute, and
then stared into the blue of her eyes. Hoot and him had come full
circle with that one. They had religion and that explained most of
it. A person needed to do what was right, even when he knew he
could get killed doing it. And this woman, this particular woman
had come to mean something to him. Even to Hoot, he could
tell.

“First of all, I’m a man, a decent man,
ma’am. Hoot and I aren’t the kind to run from hard times, even when
we been backed against a wall. And this is about as hard a wall as
they come. We’ve been there plenty of times. And it’s true we’ve
been lookin’ for easier times ahead, but the Lord put you in our
path, and I reckon you’ll just have to stay there until we figure
out what we’re gonna do. The Lord knows what he’s doin’ even when
we don’t.”

She frowned, “You’re a Christian? And
you’re very stubborn too, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am…”

Hoot saw the bushes move and he shot
into them. There was a yell. He was sure he got one.

Before he had time to reload they were
attacked by two warriors. Both had heavy paint and limber bodies
that seemed to bend in illogical places as they swept down on them.
Hoot threw the Indian down to the ground and they wrestled back and
forth for several minutes until the Indian got hold of his knife
and was aiming at Hoot’s throat.

Sarah glanced around, picked up a rock
and threw it at the Indian. The Indian lost the knife and Hoot took
the advantage by knocking him out with a right hook.

Jeb was scrambling in the dirt for
leverage. This Indian was bigger, more powerful, and nearly had Jeb
bested, but Jeb grabbed a stick and poked the Indian with it. The
Indian grabbed his face and was about to tear into Jeb with his
tomahawk when Sarah grabbed Jeb’s rifle and killed him dead. The
sound of the rifle echoed against the stark quietness of the
evening.

She shook as Jeb rose up to his full
height.

Seeing the blood oozing from the man on
the ground, she threw the rifle down and went to lean over the dead
Indian. Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she looked down into her
husband's face.“I didn’t mean for it to come to this.” She cried
aloud. She turned on Jeb then and shouted, “You should have left me
there.”

Jeb went to stand over her. He looked
first at her then at the dead Indian. It had to be
Crowfoot.

“I’m sorry,” he barely whispered.
“Truly I am…”

She glanced up and nodded, “So am I. Oh
God, so am I.”

The baby whimpered and she went to
check on him.

Jeb and Hoot stared down at the body.
“Guess we better bury them…”

Hoot nodded and they both walked back
to camp to get the shovels.

Chapter Three

Jeb spoke a few words over the Indians
and Sarah picked some wildflowers to lay on top of the grave of
Crowfoot. She stood over him, holding the baby and silently crying.
Jeb watched her a long time. The woman was torn in half from having
to always chose a side. Anyone could see that on her face.
Rightfully so, she had loved this Indian, and her grief was like a
festering sore.

“You may not believe this, but he was a
good man, and his son will know it,” she promised.

“Yes, ma’am, I believe it.” Jeb
nodded."He came after you, even over his father's wishes. He was a
good man…."

Hoot nodded.

She looked up at him, “Why do you
believe it?”

“Because if he wasn’t, you couldn’t
have no feelin’ for him…”

Hoot and Jeb left her to
grieve.

They slept and the next morning as she
poured them both coffees, she asked, “So, where is your
folks?”

“You don’t know much about black
people, do ya?” Jeb shrugged. Taking a deep breath and sipping the
hot coffee, he leaned against a willow to answer her. “Hoot and I
were raised together on a plantation in Georgia. We were slaves
from the moment we were born. But our families…well we were
separated, and we ain’t seen them since. We’ve looked, scoured the
states trying to find them, but never did. So we ain’t got no
folks, either. Reckon we are a lot like you.”

“How’d you get separated?” Sarah asked,
looking straight at Jeb.

“My mama was sold to a big, fancy
household on the Mississippi River. She was a fantastic cook and it
ain't surprisin' the word got around. Pa was shot trying to escape
just before the war. Got a couple of sisters and brother somewhere,
but Lord only knows where. Not even sure we could recognize them
now. Hoot was a little luckier, his folks stayed on the
plantations. His ma died doctoring the white lady of the house, it
was yellow fever. His Pa run off, escaped, never saw him again. His
brothers escaped and left him behind. We found out they joined the
army and was killed during the war.”

Sarah glanced at Hoot. Hoot seemed
saddened by the telling of it, but no tears ran down his cheek, he
just looked sorta lost for a moment.

“I’m sorry for your losses." Sarah
whispered. "Truly. You know once, when I was married to my white
husband, I was so dumb. I had no understanding of people at all
back then. Then the Indians came…and I began to learn what it was
like for others. They were forced off the land they loved, the land
they worked. Being killed, having their families killed by ruthless
white people who never gave them a thought as to being people. I
began to see them for what they were, hard working people, and good
people, if left alone.” Sarah sighed.

She looked about her and smiled. Jeb
felt a sensation of sunshine coming into his chest at the sight of
that smile.

“Texas is a big place, there’s room for
us all here. So why can’t we all live in peace?” she
asked.

“It ain’t just Texas.” Hoot said
quietly.

“No…you’re probably right about that.”
Sarah smiled again.

“This is liable to be the last creek we
pass for a while, so if you want to wash up, you can, then we’ll
take a turn at it,” Hoot advised.

“Oh, that sounds heavenly…” Sarah
smiled at him. “Would you mind keeping an eye on the baby?" she
asked Hoot.

Hoot nodded.

"I’ll just be a little while then,” she
said and headed in the direction Hoot showed her.

Jeb stared after her a long
while.

“Ain’t none of my business Jeb, but I
seen you eyein’ that gal. You think that’s smart?” Hoot
asked,before Sarah was long out of sight.

“It isn’t smart and I won’t act on it,
but I can’t change my heart, Hoot. I've never met anyone like her
in my life, Hoot. Her heart just ain’t all white, that’s all. I
feel it. But God knows I’d never act on my
feelin’s…unless…”

“Unless she felt the same…” Hoot nearly
smiled. “This is gonna be hard enough without that happenin’. You
would never want to put her in a position to have to choose. She's
had enough of that already.”

“I know that, and I won’t dare act upon
it, unless…no, I won’t act on it,” Jeb assured him.

“Ain’t my business if you got feelings
for her. I reckon I can understand it. She kinda got to me too. But
you know it won’t work…” Hoot advised.

Jeb turned on Hoot with a vengeance.
“Why couldn’t it work, Hoot? If it’s God given? There has to be a
reason God put her in our path. If I love her…”

“Love…? Are you crazy, lovin’ a white
woman?” Hoot frowned.

“She ain’t exactly like no other white
woman we knowed," Jeb said, staring after the direction Sarah went.
"It's a mixture of all colors, you seen it too, don’t' tell me you
hadn't. You like her…maybe not like me…but you like
her."

“You are right about that," Hoot cast
his friend a smile. "She ain’t. But don’t you reckon she’s been
through enough hard times. I’m thinkin’ if you really love
her—you’d have to let her go—for her sake…” Hoot
amended.

Jeb frowned, whirled about as his fist
came down to his side, “You’re right my friend. I won’t act on
it.”

“Now you are talkin’ sense…” Hoot
patted him on the shoulder. “Unless God deems it, right….that
is.”

Jeb looked at Hoot then a slow smile
broke over his face. “Unless God deems it…”

* * * * *

Sarah came back form the creek,
refreshed and scrubbed. She handed the lye soap to Hoot and smiled.
“Your turn…”

Jeb looked down at the baby, “Hey, he
needs a bath too, mind if we take him with us?” Jeb
asked.

Sarah glanced down at her son who
played in the dirt, “You’re right, he needs a bath too, so go ahead
and take him. If you're a mind to.”

Jeb nodded and scooped the baby into
his arms. He jostled him in the air and the boy giggled.

Sarah was shocked that her son took to
Jeb so easily, but pleased too. She smiled as she watched the three
of them head to the creek.

She was even more shocked when a few
minutes later a stranger rode into their camp, a white man. The
first white man she’d seen in at least a year. Tension made her
wary.

He stared down at her with a huge
frown.

“Mornin’,” she said, praying Jeb and
Hoot wouldn’t come up from the creek yet.

“Mornin.’ What’s a woman doin’ in these
parts alone?” the man asked as though he had every right
to.

“I’m not alone…”

“Oh, who else is there? I don’t see
nobody.” He glanced about curiously, but never dismounted his
horse.

“My man’s down at the creek…” Sarah
said almost breathlessly, feeling a sense of panic welling in the
pit of her stomach. Her man, where had she come up with
that?

Seeing the cradle by the wheel she
moved in front of it, and managed to scoot it away so the man
couldn’t see it. She realized she was hiding herself, but she knew
it was for the best. No use bringing on troubles.

“Who might you be, sir?”