The Fight for Us (47 page)

She took him so agonizingly slow that he was certain she was trying to drive him insane, and once she was sitting squarely on his lap with his cock buried in her gut, she started rolling her hips again. He was almost shocked she was so eager under the circumstances, and when he started yanking her dress up to free it from her body, she leaned up, letting it slip past her back and over her head. She stayed upright, and he pushed her bra straps off her shoulders. She let it slip from her arms as her back moved and arched. Even sitting upright, she didn’t bounce on his lap or lift her body; she kept rolling and humping in her perfect rhythm, constricting him with her muscles and pulling him along with her movements. It was just as equally arousing as plunging and withdrawing, and he studied the sunlight that touched her back. The arch of her back and her long hair cascading down was enough to make his cock twitch inside her.

As she moved seductively, pulling his arousal as her hips rolled forward, her back arched even farther and she let her head fall back and her hair fell to his chest. Every movement of her body enticed him that much more, and soon, he was dying to pound. He loved the way she moved, he loved watching her body, loved her gentle lulling motion, but he needed to consume her. He wasn’t going to do that today though. His lack of control might drive him mad, but he was going to give her all the control she could handle—even if it broke every bone in his fingertips as he gripped the arms of the chair desperately.

He decided giving his fingers something to do might salvage them, and he reached around her hip, letting his finger slip between her lips and playing with the tight peak of her clit. It was swollen and wet, and he let his fingers toy with it as the movement of her hips started to get faster. She was gasping, and he trailed his free hand lightly over her back and down over the swell of her round bottom. He quickly pulled his hand to his mouth, sucking on his middle finger for a moment before he slipped it between the cheeks of her bottom.

Her hips slowed as she felt his touch pass over her anus, and as one hand continued to toy and pluck at her clit, the middle finger of his other hand slowly pushed past her tight bottom muscles and into her rectum. She cried out as he invaded her, and then her humping sped, and her sheath clamped down on him tightly.

“Fuck,” he cried out as she constricted on his dick and his finger that was still thrusting into her bottom.

She was moaning, whimpering, and panting all at once, and as her hips rolled faster and faster, pulling him harshly and perfectly with her body, he gritted his teeth, waiting for her to come. She was close. The tremble, the clamping muscles, the sounds, her erratic and desperate moves were all taking her somewhere. When she suddenly gripped the arms of the chair and every muscle from her waist down tensed as her back arched, she shrieked out her orgasm. He didn’t let up with his finger plunging into her bottom until her muscles relaxed and her back rolled forward as her body finally passed over her release. Then he slowed his steady thrusting.

She could barely catch her breath as her fingers trembled against the arm of the chair, and when he finally pulled his finger from her anus, he wrapped his arms around her. One arm was around her chest, gripping and digging into her breast, and the other was around her waist as his body pulled her into him and he wrapped himself around her. His grip on her was tight, and as he hugged her and pinned her in his arms, his hips rocked gently under, pushing himself deep to her core.

“Oh, God,” she cried out.

“You liked my finger in your ass, didn’t you?” He rocked his hips again. He was keeping his movements steady and slow, but his arms clutched her tightly, stilling her.

“Yes,” her voice was breathed out.

He rolled his hips again, seating himself in her gut before rocking back out. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” He eased in slowly again, letting his hips and buttocks drive his cock.

“Yes.” As her voice lurched out her response, he relaxed his muscles, letting himself slide partially out.

“And you know how beautiful I think you are, right?” His penetrations perfectly matched his words, and as he spoke, he invaded slowly.

She whimpered, but she responded. “Yes.”

“No one is ever going to come between us. You know that too?” As he hit her depths once again, she cried out.

“Yes. Oh, fuck.”

“And you know I will fight for you, don’t you?” He tightened his arms as he entered her.

“Oh, God.” She moaned.

His hold on her body was suffocatingly tight. “Tell me you understand.”

“Yes.” She whispered.

“That’s my girl.” He nipped the side of her neck as he started thrusting. He’d been insane to think he could hand over complete control to her. “I swore I’d let you lead—” he barely got the words out as his breath shuttered and his hips started begging him to plunge “—but I want to fuck you. Let me.”

He needed to invade and he needed her to let him, and when she nodded with the back of her head to his shoulder, he started pushing and pulling from her, tightening his ass cheeks and piercing her body as deep as she could take. She was groaning, and he was too. It took him only a few minutes of vigorous muscle strained fucking before he hit his limit, and he squeezed his arms tight around her with his cock deep inside when he emptied himself at her core.

All he could do was curse, pant like a rabid animal, and curse some more as he clutched her body and wrapped around it. He was at her depths, throbbing and spasming, and it was only after his spasms had subsided that he finally released the tension in his muscles and let his bottom rest against the chair again.

When he managed to unclasp his arms from her body, he reached to her neck, brushing her hair off to one shoulder. He could barely catch his breath, and he wasn’t nearly ready to separate himself from her pussy. He stroked up and down her arms slowly as she trembled, and he kissed the back of her neck, letting his lips suck and release gently.

“Did I push you too soon?”

She shook her head but said nothing.

He let his head sink to the back of her neck, his forehead resting to the most prominent bone of her neck. “Do you remember when you told me you hated yourself so much it hurt to hear me tell you that I loved you?”

Her body went rigid for a moment before she exhaled and nodded.

“‘Can you imagine what it feels like?’ That’s what you said. As though you could convince me to despise you for what he’d done, hell, what you thought you’d done to find yourself in that situation.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was whisper quiet.

“Why? You were being honest, weren’t you?”

She nodded, and when she finally moved, he hissed as her body released him. She turned to sit on his lap sideways. She looked sad, ashamed even, and rather than let that perpetuate, he leaned forward and kissed her. Her feet were at his hips, and she sat on his thighs. He could feel his cum dripping slowly and running from her body to his leg. It instantly stirred something in him, and he crammed his need down as he focused on her eyes.

“Well, I have a question of my own.” He paused, dropping his lips to brush along her shoulder, and when he slowly moved his mouth to her ear, he closed his eyes, remembering how painful it was to hear her say those words little more than a week ago. “Can you imagine what it feels like to hear the woman you love tell you how much she hates herself?” He swallowed over a lump in his throat as his emotions threatened to run away with him. “It’s agonizingly painful to imagine how you felt—how you feel even now.” He pulled back studying her eyes.

Her chest shuddered as her breath hitched. She was exceptionally close to falling apart with those words, and her lips trembled as he watched. He wanted her to fall apart. Just like the day he’d moved into this home, when her life had started to crumble around her and he’d spent so long just cradling her on her sofa as she cried. She needed to—and he needed her to.

“I need you to love yourself as much as I love you, and I need you to let me love you too. I need you to share your hurt with me, not try to protect me from it or hide it from me. I need you to understand just how worthy you are, because if you’re not, then I’m sure as hell not either. I need you to forgive yourself for your past, and I swear to God I’ll forgive myself for mine too if you will. And more than anything, I need you to fight. I won’t fail you the way I failed others in the past. I promise. But you can’t hate yourself for your past any more than you hate me for mine.”

She watched him as her eyes teared, and her face scrunched up as her tears tried to erupt into sobs. “I don’t hate you for your past. I couldn’t.” She shook her head.

“Then don’t you get it? I could never hate you for yours either.”

She nodded then as her tears finally fell, and her head collapsed to his shoulder as she cried and her breathing hitched. He shushed her, stroking his fingers along her back and wrapping his arms around her. When he brushed her hair from her forehead, he urged her head up, clutching her cheek.

“I love you—every flaw, every mistake, every imperfection. You are so worthy, so fight for this.”

He pulled her back to his body, and as her shoulders shook as she cried, she nestled into his neck and he felt her tears touch his skin. She fell silent soon after that, and he stared off into the distant woods. He wasn’t at all certain making love to her had been appropriate under the circumstances, and part of him felt guilty for it. The other part of him thought what they’d done had felt completely perfect and surely must be completely right. He loved her after all, and he didn’t question she loved him too.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t let her hear the insecurity he was actually feeling, because he didn’t want her to feel it too.

She sniffed her nose. “Yes. Are you?”

His lips pulled up against her neck where he was still nestled. “I am.” He was silent for a moment. “Would you like to hear the plan?”

She sat up, wiping her eyes. Her mascara was running, and there was little doubt her face would need an overhaul—much like his clothes, which happened to be covered in more cum than he could easily hide. She nodded.

“Dinner with the council members at The Landing. A meet and greet of sorts. Apparently, I haven’t completely destroyed my reputation yet.”

He exhaled deeply as he watched her. She couldn’t possibly be up for this. He wasn’t sure he was either.

“I just really want you there with me. This opportunity is kind of a big deal to me.” Well, that was vulnerability if anything.

He’d not let himself get too excited about the position yet. He wanted to, but with Nat struggling to fit in, Joss struggling to break free from Todd, and then the whirlwind of events that had transpired over the last couple weeks, he’d simply not wanted to get his hopes up. But they were finally at a place where they could move on, and he wanted, hell, he needed her to be a part of that process—in much the same way he needed to be part of her moving past what Todd had done to her.

“Okay.” Her lips pursed. “We should probably get ready…again.” Her smile was small and precious, and he leaned to her mouth quickly kissing her.

Chapter Forty-One

Joss hadn’t really wanted to go to dinner when Isaiah had asked, least of all not after expending so much energy making love beforehand. But it was important to him, and it was important to her too. It was Isaiah’s commitment to stay in Bristol, and that meant something—after the struggles with Nat. Hell, the stress Joss was putting on them too at the moment. He still wanted to be here, and she needed him here too.

He held her hand as they walked toward the restaurant from the parking lot, and when he abruptly stopped walking, he turned to her. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. He leaned to her ear, and her fingers suddenly gripped his sides as she felt his warm breath against her skin.

“Try this for me.”

She gasped quietly.

“Try to let go for a while. For me.”

She nodded against his cheek, and her fingers dug into him even deeper for a moment. When she dropped her head to his shoulder, she sighed. She could do this. She could smile, and chat, and be social. Of course she could. So why did it seem such a struggle? She’d made love to Isaiah. She’d thought it might be difficult to feel good enough about herself to do it, but she had. She’d been aroused. She’d enjoyed him, hell, she’d been ravenous once she’d gotten over her nervousness.

“I’m sure it’s inappropriate to say, but thank you for making love to me.” His voice was quiet as he spoke.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and eyed him quizzically.

“I needed that so much.” He licked his lower lip as she watched. “And I need this too. I need you with me.”

She nodded.

Dinner was lovely. She couldn’t say she pulled off the social act that well, but she tried. She smiled, and she chatted. She missed her old self as much Isaiah did. She didn’t feel normal yet, and she was starting to fear maybe she never would again. Jeffries smiled warmly at them both, and the mayor smiled broadly just as usual. She knew most everyone at the large table, and she was comfortable, but she caught herself spending ridiculous amounts of time trying to figure out what to say to people rather than just opening her mouth and speaking. She missed opportunity after opportunity to perpetuate a conversation, because she was so tied up in her own head.

Isaiah glanced at her regularly, and he kept his hand on her leg the vast majority of the time. It was out of sight under the table, and his fingers stroked through her dress, finally wandering lower to the hemline and inching under just slightly, so his palm was against her skin. She felt her cheeks flushing. He wasn’t being inappropriate, though she knew him well enough to know he liked to flirt with that line on occasion. Hell, she was pretty sure she used to also with him. But he kept his hand against her skin, letting his fingers curl against her.

She drank a glass of wine and listened to the men talk. Not a one mentioned anything about Todd, though there was little chance the council wasn’t aware, but they didn’t force her to talk about it, and it was a relief. Jeffries seemed to be keeping a watchful eye on her, but he simply seemed concerned.