The Fire of Life (17 page)

He has gone to the Clinic and will then go to Perlee,' Lobitha told her.

' Oh dear ! ' Rayanne said, and thought quickly. Well, she had better go to the Clinic, though she had no desire for a scene with Daphne Macintyre, but if Mike could he seen before he left for Perlee .. .

It wasn't easy and she wondered if Lobitha was amused by her antics, but she finally managed to reverse and turn round, making along the road for the Clinic. Suddenly she saw a deep furrow in the road and swung sideways to avoid it, jamming on the brakes. The engine stopped.

She tried to start it again. It refused. She tried and tried, for the night was beginning to come down and she was on a lonely back road, one rarely used, she knew. Somewhere an owl howled . . . she heard the chattering of the monkeys who usually went to bed early because they feared the dark. She tried the engine again and again and it refused to start .. .

Should she get out and look at the engine? she

wondered. What good would that do? She knew nothing about engines. Should she press on the hooter perhaps doing a S.O.S. sound. If Burt heard and found the Rover gone, he would come to look for her. But could he hear? The road was some way from the house. But surely he would miss her soon . . well, at least within the next hour, and come and look for her.

Suddenly she caught her breath. Coming through the bushes towards her were several elephants, pulling down branches, eating as if famished. She sat very still, hoping that the sight of a Rover was so familiar that they would take no notice. So long as there wasn't one that had been hurt, she thought, and felt the sweat of fear break out on her face and down her back.

They came very slowly and walked round the Rover. She closed her eyes tightly and said a little prayer. She could hear the sound of their slow heavy steps, the crash of branches of leaves torn down, and then it seemed to recede . . .

Opening her eyes, she saw that they had gone past her. They had ignored the Rover! She could feel the tension leave her body and she flopped in her seat. Glancing in the mirror, she saw the elephants had vanished Instead a car was driving towards her . . .

Cary!

He drew up behind her and walked to her side. She looked up at him. How angry he would be! She had done the very thing he had forbidden.

' Those elephants pass here?' he asked curtly.

' Yes,' she nodded, her throat seeming to close up

so that speech was impossible.

You must have been frightened.'

I . . . I was.' She swallowed. He had every right to be angry with her. She had been stupid to come out alone.

What's wrong?' he asked.

She stalled, and I can't start the engine.'

Well, come back with me and I'll send one of the mechanics down.' He opened the door and helped her out. As they walked back to his car, he spoke again. What were you doing?'

She looked up anxiously. I wanted to catch

Mike before he left for Perlee. Lobitha told me Mike had gone to the Clinic and then was going on to the town. I wanted to stop him.'

Why?' he asked as he started the engine and carefully reversed the car until he could find a flat part of the earth road that allowed him to turn.

Because I'm sure Samantha will phone him tonight.'

You know why Samantha went? You knew ,she was going?'

No, I most certainly didn't.' Rayanne twisted on the seat to look at him. I had no idea at all. In fact, I'm sure she must have left a note for him. She wouldn't do such a thing.'

Why didn't she tell him? Why leave 'a note?' Because they've been arguing about it and I think she was afraid of a big row ..

How come you know so much about it all? Sister Macintyre . .

Rayanne's cheeks were hot. ' If you prefer to believe Daphne Macintyre, I can't stop you. She

just wants to make trouble for me. I only know about it because Samantha discussed it with me. She wants to adopt a child, but Mike doesn't. But she thought if she could have a baby on trial . . . you know, just for a few months, he might change his mind '

' Baby on trial?' Cary echoed. Sounds odd.'

' It isn't odd at all. I think it's very sensible. Lots of people want babies, but when they get them and find they cry and have to be fed every four hours and so on, they no longer want them. The reverse can also occur. Mike might find what fun it was to have a baby to love and look after, so Samantha was going to try to be a foster-mother. She thought that way Mike might change his mind—also if they're successful foster-parents, it might help them if they applied for a child they could adopt.'

I see. So Samantha went in to collect the baby?'

Oh no, you can't do things as fast as that. She couldn't phone them, because Mike might walk in at any moment and she didn't want a big row, so she thought she'd go and stay there for a night or two and see what could be arranged. I'm sure she must.. have left a note for Mike.'

Well, he says she didn't.'

But Daphne Macintyre was at the house before him,' said Rayanne.

Cary frowned. Are you suggesting Sister Macintyre would hide the note?'

She's capable of anything as far as I'm concerned,' Rayanne said bitterly. She and Christine both hate me. They snub me, ignore me, do everything they can to make life unpleasant for me.'

' I think you're being rather melodramatic,' Cary said coldly.

I am not,' she began angrily, and paused. How did you come to find me?'

I'd just arrived home and Mother was getting worried because you weren't in your room. Then Burt found the Rover had gone. He went off to look for you, but I decided to see Mike first.'

Of course,
he has priority,' said Rayanne.
It
didn't matter what happened to me! '

He looked sideways at her. You had asked for it, you know. It was a stupid thing to do.'

I know, but . . . well, I'd only expected to go to Mike's. That would have been quite safe.'

Not really. No more safe than here.'

Rayanne was silent, twisting her fingers together, wondering when he would really get angry with her for what she had done. Perhaps he would seize it as a good reason for telling her it was time she left Jefferson Hall. That she had outstayed her welcome —if welcome she had ever been as far as he was

concerned.

Back at the house, Mrs Jefferson was nearly in tears, but Cary said they had phone calls to make.

' Come with me, Rayanne,' he told her, leading the way to his library. He put the call through to the Clinic. Mike had gone ! Sister Macintyre,' he said, his voice cold, you're sure there was no message left in the Crisps' house? No letter? What . . . oh, I see. Naturally you didn't look. But you didn't see one that might have been there and perhaps blown on the floor because of a draught through an open window? What . . . oh, I see.

The windows were open, so it might have happened. I understand. I quite realise that had you seen such a letter, you would have told Mike -about it. Naturally. Thank you, Sister Macintyre.' He put down the receiver and looked at Rayanne.

Well, she says she didn't see a letter or note.'

She says! ' Rayanne said, her voice bitter. ' Well, it all boils down to this: you either believe her or you believe me. We'll see what Samantha says. Have you quite finished with me? I feel like a hot bath.'

Yes, quite. I expect you do.'

At the door, Rayanne hesitated, then she turned. Cary—' she began.

He looked up from some papers he was sorting out.

Yes?' It was a cold yes, an uninviting one that made it even harder to do what she felt she ought.

' I'm sorry,' she said. I shouldn't have taken the Rover out alone. It was just that I was upset. I . . . I was surprised that you weren't angry with me. I.. . . I . .

Thought I'd be a monster as I usually am, like all men?' His words were clipped sharp and short as if he was angry. I said nothing to you because I knew you'd been punished enough when those elephants went by you. It must have been a bad moment, but look, Ray, it's time we cleared up something.' He put down the papers and walked towards her slowly. Let's get this straight. Why have you this hatred of men? You hate me, I know that. Do you hate Burt? Did you hate Keith? What is it that upsets you? I've an idea that you're

afraid of us. Every time a man speaks to you, you clench your hands, stiffen your body. Surely it can't just be your brothers that have given you this complex ? '

She looked up at him. ' I . . . I don't know. I've always felt like this. I think it was my brothers always teasing me, treating me as a little girl even when I was nineteen . . . even now,' she added. bitterly. ' They just won't accept me as I am. Then . . . then nothing I ever did was right in Dad's eyes. I wanted him to be proud of me, He's terribly proud of . . . of the others. I . . . began to feel it was all so hopeless, that nothing I could ever do would please him, yet it was the most important thing in the world to me : to make him proud of his only daughter.' She turned away. I suppose . . . I suppose I see all men as my enemies as a result. I feel every time that. I'm about to do battle with them, that they're against me before I even open my mouth.'

I see.' Cary's voice was thoughtful. I wonder how we can cure you.'

I don't . . . don't think there's any cure. I'll never be famous, and . . . and . . .' She jerked open the door and ran down the corridor, but not before Cary had seen the tears running down her cheeks.

After a sleepless unhappy night, Rayanne woke very early. She showered and dressed, suddenly feeling the walls of the room closing in on her threateningly, like those of a prison. Cary's refusal to believe her hurt her more than anything that had ever happened. If he preferred to believe Daphne Macintyre . .

It had been a strange evening. After Cary had driven her back to the house, Mrs Jefferson had burst into tears as she took Rayanne in her arms.

' My dear child, I was so frightened for you . .

And then Burt had phoned to find out if there was any news of Rayanne and when told she was safely there, had slammed down the receiver—according to Cary, who told Rayanne, a slightly sarcastic smile playing round his mouth.

Then Mrs Jefferson had startled them by announcing that she had invited a few people to dinner but that no one need go, if they desired not to. She had stood there, this little loving woman who had made Rayanne feel, for once, that someone cared about her.

' But I hope you'll feel well enough to come, Rayanne,' Mrs Jefferson had said wistfully.

Cary had strode across the room, tugging at the lobe of his left ear. ' Who have you asked?'

Mrs Jefferson held up her hand, and ticked off each guest on her fingers. ' Christine, Daphne . .

Cary had swung round, looking across the room at Rayanne, his eyes mocking as if in challenge.

' Of course I'll come.'

And I will, too,' Rayanne said at once, stiffening, feeling that shiver slide down her back.

Mrs Jefferson beamed, I'M so glad. Then there's . . .' she had named two of the vets, and added: Oh, and Keith Bilkington, He phoned up to speak to you, Rayanne dear, and when I said you were out, he sounded so disappointed I asked him to dinner I hope you don't mind?' She looked anxious.

' Of course she doesn't,' Cary had interrupted, giving Rayanne no chance to speak. Keith fell for her heavily.' He sounded amused, moving with his long e
ffortless strides towards the do
or.

He didn't. It's just his way . . Rayanne

had begun, when Burt came almost pounding in, hardly seeing Cary, as he brushed past him and made straight for Rayanne

His hands on her shoulders, he shook her
..
I
thought . . . well, I didn't dare think ' His voice was harsh. . . . , What happened?'

Cary stood still in the doorway, looking amused.

She was looking for Mike and the engine stalled. Apparently you didn't teach her how to cope with such a problem.'

The car stalled?' Burt's fingers were digging into Rayanne's skin. She saw the shock that showed so plainly on his face.

Yes—and little Ray' had some elephants walk

past her. Punishment enough for her foolishness,

so stop being so melodramatic, Burt. It won't get

you anywhere,' Cary said curtly, and left the room.

Burt's hands had fallen to his side. Were you

scared?'

Rayanne managed a poor imitation of a laugh. It was rather terrifying. Luckily they were in good tempers.'

Why were you looking for Mike?'

So she had told him, aware that Mrs Jefferson had quietly left the room as if not wanting to disturb them, what had happened.

And Cary won't believe me. I'm sure Samantha would have left a note. I wanted to tell Mike that I thought Samantha had gone to find out about foster-mothering a baby. I didn't want him to be worried about her,' Rayanne had finished.