The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (67 page)

Except then he pulled me in tighter. And his arms felt strange and his scent was wrong. As gently as I could, I began to push away. “I think I better…”

David released me, his eyes pinned on the club door behind us. “Hey, look. She’s leaving.”

I turned to look. Celia was indeed leaving. She’d seen our hug, I was sure. It didn’t matter. Even if she told Hudson, he’d been out with Norma Anders. I was certain his trumped mine in terms of disappointing a lover.

David’s smile grew tight. “Man, I don’t know anything about her, but that smile was wicked. What a bitch.”

The pain and hurt of the past twenty-four hours subsided then, leaving in its wake a tidal wave of rage. I was angry, so angry. While a lot of my wrath was meant for Hudson, the greatest portion belonged to Celia. Without her, Hudson and I might be able to work through our differences. But how could we when she was always around, reminding us of our pasts, stirring up our distrust?

My hands balled into fists. “You know what? This is ridiculous. I’m confronting her.”

“Laynie, I’m not so sure you should.” But that was the extent to which David tried to stop me.

I’d covered more than half the distance between me and Celia when a figure stepped from out of the club and blocked my progression.

“Ms. Withers.” Reynold put a gentle but firm hand up to stop me from proceeding. “Not a good idea.”

He was right. As worked up as I was, I probably would have punched her. And though it would have felt good, it would be me with the restraining order then, not Celia.

Still, I had to wonder what my bodyguard’s orders had been. Did Hudson mean to keep me from trouble, or was he worried if I talked to his ex that I’d learn things he didn’t want me to know? “One question, Reynold. Are you protecting me from her? Or protecting her from me?”

“I don’t catch your drift.”

And even if he did, he likely wouldn’t answer honestly. “Never mind.”

By then, Celia had made it to the curb and was hailing a cab. Determined to not let her get away without some victory chalked in my square, I approached our doorman. “You see that woman? She’s not to be let back in here. Permanently banned.”

The doorman nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll hang her picture in the back room.” I’d print something off the Internet. Maybe it wasn’t a good move to let her know that she’d gotten to me, but honestly, I didn’t care about her game. I simply wanted my life back. Kicking her out of my club was a good first step.

***

It was just past three when I crawled into bed. Though it still felt too big and lonely, I was pretty sure I was exhausted enough to sleep. It was worth a try anyway.

Even with my determination, I was still tossing and turning when four a.m. rolled around. My insomnia turned out to be a blessing. Otherwise, I may have missed his call.

“Alayna. I need you.” The ache in Hudson’s voice was new to me.

I sat up with a bolt. “What is it?”

“Mira. At the hospital.” He couldn’t even speak in full sentences. “The baby…”

I was throwing on my yoga pants and a t-shirt before he finished. “I’ll be right there.”

“Jordan’s already on his way to get you.”

Chapter Fourteen

Hudson was waiting for me outside the emergency room when Jordan dropped me off at the hospital. He’d obviously dressed in a hurry as well. He was wearing jeans and a wrinkled polo I didn’t recognize.

Though he didn’t smile, his eyes seemed to light up at the sight of me. “She’s not in the ER anymore, but this is the only entrance open at this time of the morning.” He was already heading toward the elevator.

I trotted to catch up. “Have you seen her? What’s going on exactly?”

“All I know is that she’s having contractions. Adam called as they were checking in and he texted me when they were moved to the OB ward.” He pushed the up button on the call panel. “I didn’t want to see her without you.”

I reached out and grabbed his hand. He took it without hesitation.

He let go though, when the elevator arrived, gesturing for me to go in first. He followed and hit the floor button, then stuffed both hands in his pockets. He glanced at me sideways, and I felt his ache to touch me. It echoed my own yearning. Still, he didn’t reach for me again.

The elevator began moving. “Alayna, about Norma…”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to do this now.” Didn’t he know that I didn’t care at the moment? In the past few weeks, I’d grown to love Mira too. If anything happened to her or her baby…

But Hudson went on. “I need you to know—this business deal.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s very important and I’ve had to be sneaky about the whole thing. Tonight was about that. Norma was able to arrange what looked like a chance meeting with the sellers at a charity gala. When Reynold called and said that you sent him away and that Celia was at the club...” He trailed off and I knew he was imagining the worst. “I didn’t even think to arrange a ride home for Norma. I simply grabbed her and we left.”

A pang of guilt burrowed through my gut. “Is the deal ruined?”

“No. And it wouldn’t matter if it was.” He turned to me and brushed his thumb across my cheek. “You’re safe, precious. That’s all I care about.”

I closed my eyes, savoring his caress.

Then the door opened, and his hand fell to his side.

We followed the signs pointing to OB, eventually reaching a set of doors that required us to buzz to get in. “Will they let us in at this time of night?” I asked while we waited for a response.

“It’s my impression that babies are born twenty-four hours a day,” he said. “And we’re on her list.”

Mira was only six months along, though. Hopefully her baby wasn’t coming any time soon.

“May I help you?” a voice said through the intercom.

“We’re here to see Mirabelle Sitkin. Hudson Pierce and Alayna Withers.”

Instead of an answer, the door simply opened automatically.

I smiled lightly. “I guess we’ve been approved.”

Mira’s room was easy to spot because Adam, Jack, Sophia and Chandler were standing in the hall outside. Hudson went straight to Sophia. He put his arm around her and bent to kiss her cheek. “Mother.”

“Thanks for being here, Hudson.” Sophia’s hand was shaking as she hugged her son, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was emotional about Mira or simply in need of a drink. Either way, she was with it enough to throw a glare in my direction. “You brought her?” Her tone accentuated her disgust.

“Yes, and you’ll not say another word about it.” At least Hudson was still defending me to Sophia. That had to mean something.

Jack gave me a warm smile, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “It’s good to see you, Laynie.”

Neither Sophia’s insult nor Jack’s welcome registered very high on my interest level. I only cared about Mira—my friend.

I peeked around Jack past the open door and found Mira lying in the bed surrounded by two nurses. They looked calm enough. Hopefully that was a sign that things weren’t dreadful.

Hudson wasn’t the type to simply hope. “What’s her status?” he asked Adam.

“She’s fine. Now.” Adam’s expression looked tired and concerned, but his words were only slightly strained. “When we came in she was having contractions every three minutes. But they got her hooked up on an IV, got lots of fluids in her, and everything settled down. She hasn’t had any contractions now for almost forty minutes. Her blood pressure is still a little high, though, so they want to keep her here a bit. Fortunately, they don’t think it’s pre-eclampsia, but they’ll watch her at her visits.”

“We can go back in as soon as the nurses are done,” Jack said.

Chandler nudged Hudson with his elbow. “Mira said Mom and Dad were making her too tense. She sent us here for a timeout.”

The twinkle in Adam’s eye said he had found as much amusement in the statement as Chandler had. “She is a bit feisty at the moment.”

The nurses came out then. One stopped to talk to us, or Adam, rather. “She’s doing better, Dr. Sitkin. I’m sure she’ll be out of here in the next couple of hours. When you go back in, try to keep things light and relaxed.”

“Thanks.” Adam gestured toward the door. “After you, Laynie. I know she’ll be happy to see you here.”

I nodded, surprised and touched that he thought I meant that much to his wife. I made my way inside. Hudson followed close behind me, but not so near that we were touching.

“Mira.” I offered a warm smile.

“Hey! You came!” She tried to reach toward me, but the cuff on her arm kept her trapped.

“Of course we did. Don’t be silly.” I stepped aside for Hudson to slip in, eager for him to get a chance to connect with Mira as well. Hudson was family. I was only the girlfriend. And maybe I wasn’t even that.

“Hudson.” Mira smiled up at her brother. “Thank you for being here.”

He nodded and it struck me that he was too overcome with emotion to speak. I remembered then how hard it was for him to say how he felt—not just with me but with everyone. Mira had once told me Hudson never gave out
I love yous
. Even to her. But the look in his eyes said he felt it for her in spades.

Was that the way he looked at me? I wanted to say yes, but it was hard to be objective.

Hudson patted his sister’s hand then stepped away, turning his back to her momentarily. He was getting himself together. More than anything I wanted to go to him, to reassure him. But his body language so far had shown he didn’t necessarily want it.

My eyes stung. Again and again he shut me out. Even with something as normal as sharing concern over his sister, he couldn’t let me in. Didn’t he know how much it killed me?

This wasn’t the time to dwell on it. Forcing my smile in place, I stepped near Jack and gave my attention to Mira.

“I have to tell you,” she said to no one in particular, “this whole incident has proven one thing—labor is going to be a bitch. Those contractions hurt like a mother and when they hooked me up to this thing—” She gestured to the monitor. “They barely registered.”

Sophia sat in the armchair next to Mira. “Has this finally changed your mind about taking Lamaze?” Her condescension suggested this had been an ongoing battle.

Mira rolled her eyes. “It’s changed my mind about wanting drugs. I’d like them as soon as I arrive, please.” She hooked eyes with Adam, who had slipped in on the other side of her. “Can you add that to the birthing plan, honey?”

“Add them? I’m demanding them.” He brushed her hair from her forehead. “Sorry, but you’re not a nice person when you’re in pain.”

Mira’s eyes flared. “You keep that up and I’ll exclude you from the birthing room.” Adam hadn’t been kidding when he’d said she was feisty.

Chandler laughed. “I don’t think she’s joking.”

“Do they know what caused this in the first place?” Hudson’s question drew the room’s attention back to him. Though he was engaging now in the conversation, he still wasn’t huddling close like the rest of us.

Mira’s gaze flicked from me to Hudson. “A combination of dehydration and stress.
Stress.
Do you all hear that?” She narrowed her eyes and scanned the room. “So you two right there—” She gestured to Sophia and Jack. “You need to get your shit together because you are hurting me and my baby.”

Sophia’s mouth tightened, but she refused to look at Jack who stared after her tenderly. Man, he really did love her.

“And you two—” This time Mira pointed to me and then Hudson. “Don’t think I don’t notice how you’re standing apart. And you’re barely looking at each other. I don’t even want to know what the hell is going on with you right now. Go work it out.” The cuff on Mira’s arm began clicking as it tightened around her. She turned her attention to the numbers on the screen next to her.

I froze, not sure if she was actually sending us away or if she meant for us to work things out later.

Chandler seemed to get the sense that she meant now. “Are you kicking out Mom and Dad too?”

“No. Their crap is too messed up to fix on demand. But those two—” She sent us both scathing looks. “You better not be that messed up.”

“Might as well get comfy then.” Chandler settled on the couch and began playing on his phone.

I exchanged glances with Hudson.
Shit.
He wanted to be with Mira—and she was wrong, our crap was too big to solve quickly.

Hudson stepped toward his sister. “Mirabe—”

“I’m not kidding, Hudson. Leave. I don’t want to see either of you until you’ve got that happy glow again.” The machine next to her flashed a readout. “See? My blood pressure is spiking. Jesus.”

“Mira,” Adam said, “just take deep breaths. Settle down. Stop yelling at everyone.”

“I’m not yelling at everyone. I’m yelling at them!”

Adam turned to me and Hudson, his expression apologetic.

“We’re going.” Hudson gestured for me to proceed in front of him. “But we’ll be back,” he said over his shoulder.

“Happy and glowing,” Mira yelled after us.

We walked in silence toward the waiting room at the end of the hall. With each step, my heart grew heavier. This was wrong. I shouldn’t be there at the hospital. Hudson should. As for working things out, it was going to take him opening up. And he was certainly not ready for that. His attitude to me since we’d arrived proved that.

At the waiting room, Hudson held the door open for me to go in first. It was a small room, completely enclosed with several couches and a counter with coffee supplies. It was empty, thankfully. Babies might be born at all hours, but no one was expecting one at the moment. At least that gave us privacy.

I turned to face Hudson as he shut the door behind him. “I know you want to be in there with your sister. I can leave. Or we can pretend things are all hunky-dory, if you’d rather. I’ll under—”

Hudson cut me off. “Don’t leave.”

His desperation stunned me. Did that mean he did want me there? The man was a bunch of mixed signals. This signal I liked. I’d cling to it, if he’d let me. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“For Mira.”

My spirits plummeted. “For Mira. Of course.” Not for him. He didn’t want me to stay for him.

All of a sudden, I wasn’t sure if I could do it anymore, if I could remain self-controlled around him. I turned away and made my way to a couch. With shaking knees, I took a seat.

Sitting was better. It made me feel stronger than I was. I thought about the reason we were there—the perky romantic sitting in the room nearby. Her faith and encouragement had been instrumental in reuniting me with Hudson. Even if she couldn’t save us again, I owed her.

I lifted my chin and met Hudson’s eyes. “Then we need to put everything else aside for right now and give Mira our happy face.”

He held my gaze for only a second. “I agree.”

There was plenty of room on the couch by me, but he took a seat in a chair instead. He couldn’t even sit by me. The rejection rippled through me with excruciating pain. Every move he made, everything he said, hurt.

I wanted to do the same to him. Wanted to hurt him in all the ways he’d hurt me. My fists tightened into balls as I thought about ripping into him, telling him all the things that were barely under the surface of my composure.

But again, I remembered why we were there. Mira would be upset if we didn’t walk back in her room together. The best thing I could do for her and myself was make a plan and get back to her. Back to the comfort of people who made me feel good rather than sad.

Obviously this would require some acting. A lot of acting. “So any idea how to give Mira a happy face? Because she read right through us in there.”

“She is very perceptive.” Hudson leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs, his chin in his hands. “But I think if we wait here for a while, give us time to supposedly talk things out, then if we go back in there with smiles and…holding hands, she’ll believe it.” His pause said that even holding hands sounded uncomfortable for him. “She wants to believe it, so she will.”

I made a gruff sound in the back of my throat. “Pretending we’re a couple. Just like old times.”

His head spun toward me. He fastened me with a piercing stare. “We aren’t pretending we’re a couple. We are a couple. We’re pretending that we’re…that we’re not…” He moved his hand in the air as he tried to figure out how to finish his sentence.

When he didn’t come up with an end, I pushed him. “That we’re not…what? Not fighting? Not completely confused and heartbroken? Not miserable and lied to?” My voice cracked, and I refused to cry. Biting my lip, I crossed one leg over the other and put all my energy into jostling my knee up and down. It helped to focus my pain.

Hudson stared at the wall across from him, refusing to respond or look at me.

I should have dropped it, but I couldn’t help myself. “I don’t understand how you can say we’re a couple when you’re living in one place and I’m in another. When you’re on dates with another woman.”

“I told you what that was,” he said quietly.

I ignored him. “When you won’t even let me touch you without acting like it burns.” I shook my head. I was getting too upset. “I said I wouldn’t do this here. I’m sorry.” Except I really wasn’t. “Sort of.”

I wanted him to refute my words, wanted him to explain how things really were. But he didn’t. Sure, it wasn’t the time or place—I knew that in my head. My heart, on the other hand, didn’t care. I was in so much pain, how could he not be? And if he wasn’t, what did that mean?