The Forbidden (32 page)
The bishop cleared his throat. “No stone throwing, Elias.”
A strike against them; the air went out of Rosanna.
Bishop was leaning toward the Beilers, it seemed.
“Kate, you’ll have your say-so now.” The bishop gestured to her.
“Eli’s the fruit of my womb. He belongs in the church of his forefathers.”
“Jah, growin’ up in the Old Ways,” John spoke up. “We can’t think of our son learnin’ heresy!”
Elias rose to his feet. “Did not the Son of Man come to show us the way to the Father? Aren’t we all sinners, in need of redemption? You call that heresy, to be counted among the saved?”
John leapt from his chair. “Our son should be shielded from the lies of Satan. Declarin’ you’re saved? That’s the worst of it!”
“And Rosie?” The bishop stepped forward. “Is it right for
her
to know and embrace such teachings?” He eyed John and Elias. Making a motion toward the chairs, he said, “Please sit.”
Both men took their seats. The room became hushed once again.
The bishop shook his head. “No amount of reasoning will solve this knotty problem. I see it as being a bone of contention all the days of these youngsters’ lives . . . and yours.” He scrutinized each couple.
Rosanna prayed silently, trembling within and without.
Show mercy, dear Lord . . . give us your grace.
Bishop Joseph continued, “There will be no end to the strife ’tween your families.” Alternating his gaze between the couples, he pulled on his long beard. “I’ll leave the four of you to have one last chance to hash this out. When I return, I want you
cousins
to have come to a reasonable solution.” Turning, the bishop left the room.
Rosanna looked down at darling Rosie—her tuft of light brown hair was so thin and silky. Somehow she managed to rest peacefully amidst this storm of wills.
Elias sat stiffly, tension emanating as he spoke suddenly. “John and Kate, don’t you see what we bear . . . the pain we have lived with these few days without Eli? We love that little boy dearly.” Elias paused as if trying to maintain his grip on his emotions. “His sister Rosie has been cryin’ all week without him next to her in the playpen. Multiply that by all the years ahead . . . it ain’t right.”
The silence was broken only by Eli’s quick gurgle as he moved in his sleep.
“Kate, won’t you take pity on your cousin? On Rosie?”
Elias asked.
“We’ve said our piece,” John replied. “You’ve made a poor choice, leaving the church of your baptism . . . and we’re takin’ back our gift.”
Kate spoke up. “Out of the kindness of our hearts, we’ll allow you to keep Rosie as your own. That’s more than fair.”
“Aw, Kate,” Elias said, his voice quavering. “Can’t ya see? That’s awful wrong.”
The bishop returned, wearing a deep frown. “Is there no resolution, then?”
“We’ve offered Rosie, but they want both babies,” John told the bishop.
“Well, then. I have no choice but to rule in this unspeakable situation.” The man of God straightened to his full height.
Rosanna noticed the room brighten as unexpected sunshine streamed in from behind a cloud, filling the front windows with light. They’d gathered in this large room many times over the years for Preaching, blending their voices in one accord with their kinfolk . . . including John and Kate.
“The Lord God created these young ones as unique and separate people, yet they are bound fast by unseen cords.”
Going to Eli first, the bishop touched his head, lingering there. Then he moved across to Rosanna and placed his hand on sleeping Rosie’s head.
Kate scowled at Rosanna, who remained silent.
Looking helplessly at her husband, Rosanna held back her tears.
All the happy days and years ahead . . .
Then, though her heart was breaking, she could no longer keep still. “Bishop?”
He looked at her tenderly, his eyes filled with understanding, as if he knew what she was compelled to say. “Speak your piece, Rosanna King,” he urged her.
“Ach, the babies shouldn’t be torn apart.” Her chin trembled. “Eli and Rosie must grow up as brother and sister, as the Lord God created them in their mother’s womb.”
“Rosanna . . .” Elias touched her arm. “Love . . .”
She dared not look at her dear husband or she might lose heart. Continuing, she said, “I believe it is better for John and Kate to raise both babies.” With that, she rose and carried Rosie to John and placed her in his arms, blanket and all. Then, faltering as she went, Rosanna returned to Elias, who took her hand as she sat down again without saying more.
The bishop wiped his own tears. For more than a minute, silence reigned. “You, Rosanna, are a true and faithful mother,” he pronounced. “I pray you might birth many-a wee babe, should the Lord God see fit.”
Ashen, Elias looked at her. But there was no protest in him as they stood in unison and made their way through the kitchen toward the back door, neither looking back.
Dear Lord, please give me strength,
thought –Rosanna, suppressing a flood of tears till she was safely in the carriage.
Much to Nellie Mae’s delight, the sun was making a steady reappearance, and the glossy white acres stretched out to touch the brilliant blue of the sky. She had been hankering for a walk all morning, so when Nan offered to stay at the bakery shop with Mamma, Nellie stepped out for some air.
I feel much lighter without all those layers.
Making her way toward the one-lane bridge, she headed east on the narrow strip of road. It wouldn’t be long till the creek was running free. She smiled at the memory of splashing its waters on her face one long-ago spring morning at Suzy’s suggestion. How surprised she’d been at dipping her hands into its cold—like liquid ice. Suzy had delighted in its freshness, claiming, “It wakes a body up clean to the quick.”
She hadn’t been walking for more than fifteen minutes when a car came toward her and slowed to a crawl. A man who looked about her age rolled down his window.
“Excuse me, miss . . . you must live around here. I think I’m lost.”
She hadn’t had much contact with English men, so she was leery of going near the car. Even so, she stopped.
“I’m trying to locate a particular Amish family,” he went on. “I’ve already counted more than a dozen Fishers on the mailboxes. Like looking for a needle—”
“In a haystack?”
He laughed merrily, his gaze softening.
“Which Fishers?” she asked, keeping to her side of the road.
“They had a daughter Suzy, who drowned last year.”
The air went out of her. Surely she was staring at this stranger. What could this be about? she wondered. “Suzy was my younger sister,” she admitted ever so slowly.
His eyes registered momentary sadness. “Then . . . you must be Nellie Mae.”
She nodded, wondering how he knew.
He opened the door and stepped out. “I’m Christian Yoder . . . my younger brother, Zachary, was your sister’s boyfriend.”
Startled, she noted a slight resemblance to Caleb as he drew near. How long ago was it that she’d determined to search for Suzy’s friends, and here one of them was smiling at her?
“This is a surprise,” she managed to say.
“It sure is—all those Fishers, and I run into you.”
He was taller than Dat, and his hair looked nearly golden in the sunlight. In a burst of memory, she recalled Suzy saying this brother had invited her rowboating the day she’d drowned.
Christian reached into his jacket and pulled out a photograph. “Zach wanted Suzy’s closest sister to have this. That’s you, I guess.” Slowly he handed it to her, as if uncertain whether she’d take it.
She gasped to see Suzy’s familiar freckles, warm smile, and pretty blue eyes looking back at her. Behind her sister, sunbeams danced on the water of a lake. Tears sprang to Nellie’s eyes. “Oh, Denki, it’s wonderful-gut to see Suzy again.” She brushed back her tears.
“I realize your loss is still raw for you . . . for all of your family.” He paused, glancing down at his feet in the snow before lifting his gaze again. “Suzy talked of you often, Nellie Mae.”
A little sob escaped her. “Ach, I’m ever so sorry. . . .”
“Don’t apologize. I can’t imagine losing Zach or any of my brothers.” He dug into his jacket pocket again. “Here’s something else.” He held out a gold bracelet. “Zach gave this to Suzy not long before . . .” His voice trailed off.
Nellie stared at the bracelet. “Suzy must have loved it.”
“My brother was going to ask her to go steady that day.” Christian hesitated momentarily. “Zach’s young, but he loved her. Everyone noticed the special something they had. An amazing pair . . . they would have been great in marriage someday . . . in ministry, too.”
“Ministry?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Zach loves to preach, and Suzy was encouraging him in that direction.”
Suzy was in love with a preacher?
She listened, soaking up every word. Again, she studied the bracelet, noting its inscription:
Not by works of righ
-teousness but by His mercy He saved us.
“Based on the first verse Suzy ever memorized,” Christian explained.
She couldn’t believe he was offering the bracelet. “Doesn’t your brother want to keep it?”
“Not anymore. The bracelet’s for you or your family.”
“Thank you ever so much.” She didn’t know what more to say, though she cherished both gifts. She found herself looking at the forbidden picture again, knowing she would treasure it most of all. A far better reminder of Suzy than her Kapp strings!
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Nellie Mae Fisher,” Christian said, smiling a little.
She felt nearly too embarrassed to speak, yet she knew he was only being friendly. “Will you tell Zach how much this means to me?”
He smiled again. “I’ll do it. He’ll be glad to hear you liked them.” He leaned slightly forward. “Please extend our condolences to the rest of your family, especially from Zach.”
“So kind of you . . .”
He seemed reluctant to leave, or at least she sensed as much. “Were you heading somewhere?” he asked.
“No,” she said quickly, lest he offer her a ride. “Just out getting some sun.”
He nodded, gave a half wave, and headed back to his car.
Nellie turned, walking swiftly as she carried Suzy’s bracelet and picture. As Christian Yoder’s tan car pulled away, she dared to raise her eyes to follow it all the way down the road, toward Route 10, till it became a shiny dot in the distance.
Upon their return from the bishop’s, Rosanna washed away her tears and dried her face. She asked Elias to help her set up her quilting frame, determined to return to making quilts for sale, just as before. Keeping her hands as busy as possible was the best way to keep from breaking down and weeping. Her two sisters-in-law might not be interested in helping anymore, now that she and Elias were attending the new church. But Elias reminded her that the Lord both gives and takes away, and His name was to be praised, no matter.
Before today, she’d feared how their jumping the fence might affect extended family relationships. Yet despite the hard events of this morning, peace prevailed in her heart. Who besides the Lord could possibly know the future?
Returning without the twins to this house, the place where she and Elias had intended to raise Eli and Rosie, was the second most difficult thing she’d done today. The first was placing precious Rosie in John Beiler’s arms. Now she must relinquish the babies in every way, praying for the strength to do so . . . and for the ability to forgive.
The loving gift Kate offered me is gone.
Unable to hold back her tears, Rosanna folded up the playpen in the sitting room. At least her darlings were together, and she and Elias would surround them daily with prayer.
Caleb counted his possessions, glad at least to own a good, spirited driving horse and the courting carriage his father had given him back when he’d turned sixteen. He had gathered his few personal belongings and carried them into the Dawdi Haus where he and Nellie Mae had spent their blissful, forbidden hours. Banished by his father, he would live there, laboring for his maternal grandfather.
Daed planned to drop by at the end of the week, to talk man to man. His father seemed certain Caleb would come to his senses by then, as he put it. Yet as long as it meant giving up Nellie Mae, Caleb was unwilling to relent.
Eyeing the little house she had liked so much, he began to unpack. He could kick himself for the mess he’d made.
He
did
respect and love Nellie Mae, even though both his Daed and his Dawdi doubted it. A few kisses were nothing to be embarrassed about, were they? He hadn’t thought so until he’d seen in Nellie’s eyes the weight of guilt she carried.
Given enough time, he would make it all up to her, just as he promised. For now, though, he must work off his debt of sin here, knowing that when he’d saved up enough money, he could make his next move.
The strange encounter with Christian Yoder stood out in Nellie’s mind as she went about her daily routine, baking enough pastries to supply the increasing demand. Although the ad had disappeared, a host of customers were still coming, especially since the weather was more promising. Any leisure moments were spent reading the Bible Nan had offered to her weeks earlier. Nellie also found herself rereading the final sections of Suzy’s diary.
While she knew better than to reveal the picture of Suzy to anyone else, the gold bracelet could not be kept a secret. She’d shown it first to Mamma, who had merely looked at it, not making much over it, except for the inscribed verse. Nan, too, cared little about jewelry, though she touched it gently. Nellie was glad to have it, placing it carefully on the dainty blue dish on her dresser—the cherished gift from Suzy so long ago. Each time she walked past, she remembered what Christian had said about the verse being Suzy’s favorite.
Not by works of righteousness . . .
Could she rest in God’s love and not continually blame herself for being too affectionate with Caleb? She’d tried for days to assuage her guilt, rationalizing their intimate behavior, but each time she came up short, feeling even more disgraceful. Giving away even a single kiss had been too much.
