The Forest Ranger's Husband (8 page)

“Sorry,” he murmured.

She heaved a sigh of resignation, staring at the pulpit.

Davie crossed in front of his mother and came to sit beside Matt, which forced another bout of scooting down to make more room. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, sweetheart.” Matt pulled his son up onto his lap and kissed his forehead. It felt good to be wanted by someone. He’d never been a sentimental man, but now he held Davie to him like a lifeline. He loved this child more than anything,
except for Andie. If only she could see into his heart and understand how sorry he was for hurting her. How badly he wished she’d forgive him and grant him a second chance.

As the meeting began, Matt heard Sue’s impatient huff and then another harsh whisper to her husband. “Why did you invite him, Brett? He’s not part of our family anymore. He’s nothing but trouble.”

Brett’s calm response reassured Matt. “He’s a child of God, just like you and me. And he’s Davie’s father. That makes him part of our family forever.”

“But he’s not…” Sue’s voice faded as she leaned closer to her husband’s ear.

Brett put his arm around Sue’s shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze, his voice a quiet murmur. “Show a little Christian compassion, honey.”

That won Brett an angry glare from Sue. She shrugged his arm away on the pretense of reaching for the baby.

But what about Andie? She was Matt’s wife; she and Davie were his entire world now. If she refused to accept Matt, he was all alone, no matter how hard Brett tried to advocate on his behalf. Once again, Matt realized with perfect clarity and great regret how Andie must have felt when he’d left her all those years ago. He couldn’t blame her for being distant and angry.

Andie stared straight ahead, her face void of expression. But he knew from her tensed shoulders that she was perturbed. It would take a miracle for her to forgive him, but that’s what he needed if he were to ever be whole again.

Her forgiveness.

“W
e’re having roast beef dinner over at Aunt Sue’s house. You’re coming, aren’t you?” Davie looked up at Matt, his face filled with hope.

They stood in the front foyer of the church following Sunday school. Except for Sue’s hateful glower and Andie’s occasional looks of frustration, Matt had thoroughly enjoyed the lessons he’d learned today. Though he hadn’t participated in the discussion, he’d felt exquisite peace as he’d listened to a talk about the Savior and the Atonement. He wasn’t sure what he believed yet, but he couldn’t explain how he felt. A quiet, warm feeling inside. Even Sue didn’t bother him as he sat beside Andie, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her shampoo.

“Davie, remember I asked you to check with me first before inviting people over?” Andie lifted her brows at her son.

“But I didn’t think that meant Dad. He’s not people. He’s family.”

An expression of aggravation covered Andie’s face.

“Of course your dad’s invited to dinner,” Brett chimed in.

Matt’s eyes widened and Sue jabbed her husband with her elbow, her face tight with anger.

“Here’s our address and phone numbers.” Brett ignored his
wife and handed Matt a piece of paper with the info scrawled across it.

The two women stared at Brett like he’d just grown a tail and horns.

“Thanks, but I can’t make it.” Matt shook his head, wanting nothing more than to sit down and eat dinner with Andie and Davie.

He wouldn’t mind spending time getting to know Brett, either, but Sue was a different story. He’d grown weary of her hateful looks and longed to prop up his leg with an ice pack. He dreaded the exercises awaiting him and thought maybe he’d give himself a day off, to rest his leg.

“Nonsense. We won’t take no for an answer,” Brett said.

“Brett! He said he’s busy,” Sue warned.

“Aw, Mom! I want Dad to be with us,” Davie cried.

Andie’s brows drew together in a thoughtful frown. She studied her son’s anxious face for several moments, then turned to Matt. “Can we speak in private for a few moments?”

Taking her cue, Brett took the baby from Sue’s arms and headed for the door. “We’ll take the kids outside to wait for you.”

When they were gone, Andie faced Matt. “I think we need to set some boundaries.”

He took a deep breath. “Such as?”

“I know we’re still married, Matt, but we’re separated now. We have been for a very long time.”

He bit his tongue so hard it hurt. It felt like his heart sank to his knees. “I’m not asking anything from you right now, Andie. I just want to be part of your and Davie’s lives.”

“But you’re always there, every time I turn around. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.”

He lifted one hand. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

She shook her head. “Calling me sweetheart doesn’t help. Today isn’t your fault. Brett’s the pushy one.”

“What does Brett do for a living?”

She cleared her voice. “He’s a city fireman. A captain, in fact. And very good at his job. I shouldn’t be surprised the two of you get along already. You have a lot in common.”

“He sounds like a good man.”

“He is, but I figure Sue’s giving him an ear chewing right about now.” She laughed, the sound like heaven to his ears.

Matt nodded. “Don’t be hard on him. I’m sure he means well. I won’t come to dinner. You deserve a peaceful Sunday afternoon and I doubt you’ll have that if I’m there.”

A sigh of relief escaped past her lips. “Frankly I’m surprised you came to church. You never had room in your life for God. I can’t help wondering if you’re here to be near Davie or because you’re really interested in learning about the Lord.”

“Would you believe it’s both?”

She peered at his face, as if trying to read the truth there. He was dead serious and hoped to convey his sincerity with his eyes.

In a change of heart, her body relaxed with resignation. “Okay, I won’t fight you on coming to church. I have no right to judge you, but that doesn’t resolve the problem of our marriage.”

A man walked by and Matt paused, not wanting to air his personal life to strangers. Then he leaned closer to Andie and spoke low.

“I don’t want a problem with you, Andie. I just want your forgiveness.”

Once again, he’d laid his heart out on the chopping block, hoping she wouldn’t refuse his plea.

Her blue gaze locked with his. He didn’t see anger there, but a longing so intense that he figured it matched his own.
Her chin quivered, a sure sign that she was about to cry. And he didn’t want to make her cry ever again. He wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Keep her safe from every sadness life threw at her.

“Look, honey, I don’t mean to crowd you and Davie. I feel like a miner who’s been trapped a mile underground for three months, and he’s just been brought to the surface and taken his first breath of fresh air. All of this is so new to me.”

She took a shuddering breath, as though his words gave her a physical blow. “I…I have to go. They’re waiting for me.”

“Sure, I understand.” He smiled, hoping to make the situation easier on her.

He couldn’t believe this had happened to them. This was the woman he’d fallen in love with, because they had so much in common and because she was so easy to talk to. Now he felt like a stranger with her.

Like an estranged husband.

She flashed him a smile of gratitude. “Thanks for understanding, Matt. But you’re still invited to Davie’s birthday party in a few weeks.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed.” He fought to keep his voice steady, so he wouldn’t betray his sense of disappointment. How he wished he could climb this iron wall looming between them.

She turned and he watched her go. Every fiber of his being longed to follow her, but he had to give her some space. To slowly win her over. If he ever could.

A sense of despair engulfed him. Maybe she would never forgive him. Maybe it was too late.

Andie tucked Davie into his seat belt before driving over to Sue’s house for Sunday dinner. Davie sat quietly in the back
seat. Refusing to look at her. No happy chatter. No excitement about the banana cream pie Andie had made for dessert.

“What’d you talk about in Sunday school today?” she asked him.

“Forgiveness,” he answered without hesitation.

Wow—usually she had to pump him for answers. But every once in a while, she realized he actually paid attention.

“Teacher said we have to forgive everyone, but God forgives who He wants to forgive,” Davie said.

“That’s right.” She smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

“Teacher showed us a picture of a bridge and said if we can’t forgive others, we break the bridge we have to cross in order to reach heaven.”

Andie’s breath hitched in her throat. She was starting to regret this discussion. It made her face her own biases. How could she ever forgive Matt? He seemed to be gaining the faith she’d slowly lost. And she realized that him leaving didn’t excuse her from offering him forgiveness. But even if she could really forgive him, that didn’t mean she wanted him to move back in with her and Davie. She didn’t love him anymore. Their marriage was over.

Or was it?

Today had been more than difficult. Not in a million years did she think Matt would ever walk into a church of his own free will. Then Brett had shown him Christian compassion by inviting him to sit with the family. She’d wanted Matt to leave. To go away and leave her alone in her self-righteousness.

Matt had listened quietly to the sermons, his face almost peaceful. How could she shun her estranged husband while sitting in the Lord’s house worshipping Him? She felt vile and wicked for her angry thoughts. Who had become the sinner here?

Susan pounced on her the moment they arrived at her house for dinner.

“Who does that man think he is?”

“A son of God,” Brett called from the kitchen.

“You be quiet. I’m talking to my sister now.” Sue bit out the words from over her shoulder before facing Andie again. “If Matt thinks he can barge back into your life and take up where he left off, he can think again.”

Davie stood between them, looking at his aunt and mother with wide eyes. His little face became darker and darker, his eyes filling with angry tears.

“Sue, I don’t think we should talk about this now.” Andie inclined her head toward Davie.

“The boy has a right to know the truth about his father. He’s no good.”

“Don’t talk about my daddy that way.” Davie’s voice trembled with hurt and anger.

“We’re not, honey,” Sue said. “We’re talking about someone else. Someone you don’t—”

“You’re lying!” Davie yelled. “You hate my daddy. But he’s sorry he left us. He told me so. And now he’s back. Teacher said we have to forgive everyone. She said when the pottigal son returns, we should welcome him with open arms and have a big feast.”

“Pottigal?”
Sue’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Do you mean
prodigal?
”

Davie put his little hands on his hips, his expression furious. “That’s what I said. I don’t like it when you talk bad about my daddy.”

Without another word, the child pushed past Andie and ran outside. The screen door slammed behind him like a shout.

Andie licked her bottom lip and tossed a glare at her sister. “Now you’ve done it. I asked you not to say anything bad
about Matt around Davie. No matter what, Matt is Davie’s father. Forever. That’s not going to change, Sue.”

“I’m sorry.” The color drained from Sue’s face.

Andie whirled about and went after her son. She doubted he’d go far, but he was young enough that she didn’t want him walking or crossing a street alone. What he said was right. So far, Matt had appeared completely repentant. In fact, she felt awful for not calling to tell him they’d had a child. They both had done things wrong. They both needed forgiveness. But now, they were trying to make things easier on Davie, and Andie wouldn’t hurt her son by bad-mouthing his father.

“Davie!” She pounded down the steps calling for him, but he didn’t answer. Where had he gone?

She rounded the house, searching in the bushes and trees, some of his favorite hiding places.

Brett came out the back door, wearing a man’s apron over his white shirt and tie. “Did you find him?”

She shook her head.

“I’ll help you look.” He came down the steps and skirted the yard.

“Davie! Davie, where are you?” Andie headed toward the swing set in the backyard while Brett searched the garage.

They met again in the front yard.

“No sign of him?” Andie asked.

“No, maybe he slipped back inside the house.”

“I’ll check with the neighbors while you check inside.” Andie ran across the grass, her high heels sinking into the soft sod.

Within five minutes, she was back at Sue’s house and Davie still hadn’t been found. “Where would he have gone? He was so upset.”

Sue sat in the rocking chair, giving a bottle to Rose. A worried frown crinkled her brow. “I’m so sorry, Andie. I—I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”

Brett reached for his car keys. “Does he know where Matt lives?”

Andie shook her head, her skin prickling with frenzy. “No, we’ve never been there before. He’s too little to be traipsing around town looking for his father.”

Brett looked at Sue. “Honey, can you stay here in case he returns?”

“Of course. I’m so sorry.” Her eyes filled with remorse.

Brett leaned down and kissed her, giving her a kind smile. “We know you are. Don’t worry. Come on, Andie. You got your cell phone on?”

She nodded.

“Good. I’ll take my car and you take yours. Together, we can comb more area. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Brett held the door open for Andie.

They left, each getting into their vehicles and driving in opposite directions. Andie wrapped her fingers tightly around the steering wheel, her heart beating madly as she peered out the windshield. She hadn’t realized how loyal Davie was to his father until now. Whether she was still angry at Matt or not, she must remember that Davie loved his dad and had forgiven him.

If only she could forgive Matt as easily.

After twenty minutes, Andie dialed Brett’s cell phone. He’d just spoken to Sue, but none of them had seen Davie yet. And that’s when Andie called Matt. It was a last resort before she called the police.

“Hello.” His deep voice helped soothe her nerves.

“Um, hi, Matt. It’s Andie.”

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

Andie almost groaned, wishing she didn’t need to make this call. “I was just wondering if…if you’ve seen Davie in the past few minutes.”

“Davie? No, I haven’t seen him since I left you at church. Why?”

“He…he got upset at something his aunt said, and he ran off.”

A long pause ensued. “Something she said about me?”

How did he know that? She didn’t have the heart to deny it. “She hurt Davie’s feelings.”

Another pause. “Where have you looked for him?” His voice sounded completely calm, just like a crew leader would sound when he’s figuring out a problem and the best way to resolve it.

She explained what she and Brett had done to find Davie.

“Davie’s never been to my place before, so I doubt he knows where I live. Have you checked your house? He might have gone home.”

“I’ll check there next,” she said.

“Will you call me as soon as you get there? If he’s not home, I’ll get in my truck and start searching, too.”

“Yes.” She hung up and put on her left blinker before turning the car around.

It took six minutes to get there. Tears filled her eyes when she saw her son sitting on the front steps, his elbows resting on his knees while he cupped his chin with his palms. He stared at the ground, looking so forlorn in his set of black dress slacks, sweater vest, white shirt and tie.

She got out of her car and walked to him, forcing herself not to run and scare him off again.

“Hey, hotshot. What are you doing sitting here all alone?” She sat next to him in her dress, trying to sound casual. Trying to keep the tears of relief from bursting forth.

“Nothing.”