The Forest Ranger's Husband (17 page)

Dear Reader,

Have you ever had a family member or someone very close to you who hurt your feelings desperately? I’m not talking about just a simple inconsideration, although those can certainly add up to bigger problems. But I’m talking about a serious infraction that can devastate a relationship.

They say blood is thicker than water. Families depend upon one another for support and solace. We have a natural love for our family members. We share special lifelong relationships with our family, but only the Savior is perfect. Surely during the span of our lifetime, we are bound to say or do something to hurt our family members. Likewise, they are bound to hurt us in return. For this reason, forgiveness is vitally important throughout our lives. If we don’t forgive our family members, who will?

Sometimes we come from what is called a dysfunctional family. But I have discovered that no one has a “normal” family. Each family is so different. I have to be careful finding fault with other members of my family before I’ve looked at myself. We each should ask ourselves some questions before we judge others. What have I done or not done to exacerbate the problem? What have I said to hurt someone else’s feelings? Have I accused them of forgetting to do something when I likewise have forgotten to do things? Have I made them feel welcome and expressed my love and appreciation to them? Or have I only looked at their failings and imperfections? What about my own faults? Do I deserve to be shunned by them? Or have I looked the other way and forgiven them when they have hurt me?

In
The Forest Ranger’s Husband,
both the heroine and the hero learn this lesson of forgiveness the hard way. According to the Gospel of John, none of us are without sin and we
have no right to cast stones of blame at others until we have become humble enough to rid ourselves of our own faults. This doesn’t mean we should become a doormat for a family member who might be involved in illegal activities or abusing us in some way. But it does mean we must become humble like unto a little child. Children are so forgiving. They want to see the good in everyone. Their pure innocence and kindheartedness serves as an example to all of us.

I hope you enjoyed reading
The Forest Ranger’s Husband,
and I invite you to visit my website, www.LeighBale.com, to learn more about my books.

May you find peace in the Lord’s words!
Leigh Bale

1. In
   The Forest Ranger’s Husband,
   Matt Cutter is a former hotshot, an elite wildfire fighter, and Andie is his estranged wife. After having a horrible argument, Matt leaves Andie to advance his own career goals. Do you think he was justified in leaving? Do you know people in your own family who have put their career ahead of their family? How can we keep from being so caught up in prestige and worldly goals that we ignore our family?
   
2. Andie acknowledges her fault in telling Matt to go away and she is finally able to forgive Matt for leaving her, but she has trouble trusting him enough to let him back into their marriage. Does forgiving someone mean we must also go back to the way things were?
   
3. There are many situations in a marriage that might require repentance and forgiveness, such as infidelity, physical or mental abuse, addiction, crime, etc. Sometimes these situations put the physical and mental well-being of our families at risk. Are there times when we should forgive a family member or friend, but not let them back into our life or return to the way things were? Why or why not?
   
4. Should we be more forgiving of family members than we are of friends and other people outside of our family? Why or why not?
   
5. When Matt goes to church for the first time, Andie ignores him, wishing he would stay away. Do you think her attitude was very Christianlike? Or do you think
   she was justified in her behavior when you consider her past history with Matt?
   
6. Have you ever been confronted at church by someone you disliked or had a bad experience with? How about out in the real world? How did you behave toward them? Should our behavior be different out in the real world versus how we act in church? Or should we behave the same no matter where we are?
   
7. After Aunt Susan hurts Davie’s feelings by bad-mouthing his daddy, the little boy runs away. When Davie’s mother finds him again, his uncle Brett tells them to do what families ought to do and forgive each other. Has anyone in your family ever hurt your feelings? Have you hurt them? Were you able to apologize and forgive each other and move on? How can you prevent grudge-holding within your own family?
   
8. Families have lifelong relationships together and are bound to get their feelings hurt at some point. How can you keep an open communication and forgiving heart within your family relationships? Are there limits to what we should forgive within our own family? Does forgiving a family member mean we accept their bad behavior?
   
9. While trying to win Andie’s forgiveness for leaving her years earlier, Matt comes to realize that his love for her is not dependent upon her loving him. She has her free will to choose whether she loves Matt and how she will act. This revelation brings Matt peace because he chooses to love his family irrespective of how they feel about him. Have you ever chosen to be happy and love some
   one even though they were unhappy and did not return your love? How did your faith give you the courage to accept another family member’s free will to choose for themself?
   
10. Have you ever forgiven a family member who hurt you either physically or mentally? Were you able to let them back into your life? Do you believe it was healthy to let them back into your life? Why or why not? Have you ever hurt a family member who later forgave you? Did they welcome you back into their life? Why or why not?
    
11. How can we determine whether or not it is healthy for us to forgive someone and then welcome them back or omit them from our life?
    
12. In the story, Matt figures that most wives would bad-mouth their estranged or divorced husband, yet he is surprised to find that Andie has not done much of this. He is especially surprised to discover that Andie did not bad-mouth him to their son. Do you think it is appropriate for a wife or husband to say bad things to their children about their estranged or former spouse? Why or why not?
    
13. Andie comes to realize that Matt is suffering deep guilt and angst because he survived the wildfire when his crewman died. She doesn’t want to help Matt deal with his grief, but neither can she turn her back on him when he needs her so much. Have you ever been compelled to help someone else who has hurt you deeply? What did you do?
    
14. Andie’s sister, Susan, erases Matt’s voicemail when he tries to contact his wife. Susan means well and is mo
    tivated by love and desire to protect Andie, but do you think what she did was right or wrong? Have you ever interfered in family relationships to the point of making the situation worse? Has someone in your family interfered in your life before? How can we offer support to our close family and friends while not interfering or making the situation worse?
    
15. Matt is racked by survivor’s guilt and also blames himself for his ruined marriage. By trusting in the Lord and putting his life in God’s control, he realizes that he can choose to be happy, regardless of the bad things that have happened to him. Do you believe people can decide to be happy no matter what the circumstances? Or is it possible to be happy even when our lives fall apart? Why or why not?
    
16. Andie reaches the point where she just does not want to be angry at Matt anymore. When we withhold our forgiveness from someone else, does it hurt us, too? Is there a point when it hurts only us? Why or why not?