The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy (10 page)

“
He is
not
interested, Less
.”
She said out loud. She hoped the audible message would sink in where the mental one had not.

Alessa was too restless to stay inside so she skipped her tuto
r’
s lessons and wandered about the Manor grounds. She realized after about an hour of roaming the grounds that she was hoping to see Cam about, but was disappointed to find that she did not. Again, she lectured herself. She was setting herself up for a vast fall if she did not reign in this infatuation she had gotten herself into.

Alessa continued to wander. She made her way off the Manor Property and approaching the Great Cliff over the Sacred Ocean. Alessa used to love to come to the Great Cliff and look out over the Ocean. This had been her solitude, her place to think when she wanted stillness within herself instead of the labor of the pool. Alessa realized that she had not been out to the Ocean since her panic attack in the pool. She also realized that the Ocean did not offer the same ease and comfort that it once did. Alessa felt afraid and unsettled at the sight of the churning waves bouncing off of the sharp rocks. The noises of the Ocean became shrill and rushing instead of the typical soft drone that she was used to easing her into peacefulness.

Alessa sat on her rock just feet from the edge of the Cliff. She felt her emotions surge in her chest. It was not fair. She did
n’
t want to die for the Empire. The Empire had always been prosperous. Why could
n’
t they try for just one year to see if the Gods had changed their minds about wanting a sacrifice? Why would the Gods want them to kill a young girl anyway? The questions continued to roll through her mind as tears welled in her eyes. She knew that it was wrong to question the Gods, obviously the Government knew better than anyone about their desires, but were
n’
t they always taught that killing was wrong? Why was it okay if the Government did it in the name of the Gods? In an explosion of hopelessness the tears spilled from her eyes. She was
n’
t ready for this. She would never be ready to die at the belly of the Ocean.

“
Why me?
!”
She shouted at the Ocean
,“
why not some other girl? Why not no one? I
t’s…
.. No
t…
.. Fair
!”
She heaved the last words from her mouth as she fell onto her rock in sobs. Alessa had never felt despair like that which blanketed her in that moment. She could not stop her sobs any more easily than she could wish to die in the depths of the dark Ocean. She would never be ready to be the Sacrifice. She would never be able to understand why she had to die so that others could live prosperously.  

Alessa did not know how long she stayed on the rock, nor did she know when her sobs gave way to dry heaves, which subtly gave way to exhausted whimpers. She did realize eventually, however, that the sun was beginning to set over the Sacred Ocean. She sat up with a start. Everyone would be looking for her. She had only meant to take a short walk and she had
n’
t told anyone where she was going. Alessa wiped the remaining tears from her face and turned to run back to the manor.

As she suspected, the manor appeared alive with concern when she stepped back onto the grounds. Alec was the first of the guards that she saw.

“
Alec,
I’
m here
!”
she shouted exhaustedly as she jogged the rest of the way to him.

“
Oh, man, Alessa! Are you okay? Everyone has been so worried about you. The
y’
re all out looking for you and
-
“

“
Then perhaps we should stop talking and you should go tell them
I’
m fine. I will go to my parent
s’
room to let them know
.”
Alessa did
n’
t mean to be rude to Alec, but he seemed like such a child to her.

“
Yes, of course, I will find Khilyn. Your parents are in the Common Room
.”
Alec retorted, and turned to walk away.

“
Thank you, Alec
,”
was all the apology she could offer to him.

Alessa walked the rest of the way into the Manor. She was not looking forward to the conversations and lectures that were sure to follow. She heard footsteps behind her and spun around.

“
Alessa, thank the Gods yo
u’
re back
.”
Camde
n’
s voice was heavy with relief, but just as surely changed when he looked into her eyes
.“
What happened, wha
t’
s wrong
?
”

Camden reached out to her, but she was sure she would lose what little composure she had at his touch so she moved out of his reach.

“
Camden, I am fine. I simply went out for a walk and fell asleep by the Great Cliff. It was an honest mistake. Surely it was due to all the excitement from yesterday. Although, of course I will not tell anyone exactly what the excitement was
.”
She remembered their cover story about her whereabouts on the previous day. They were to have been hiking in the woods to the east of the Manor.

“
Alessa that is not sleep in your eyes. Have you been crying
?”
Camden would
n’
t back down and concern poured from his face. He reached out to her again, but pulled himself back without a cue. She was tempted to confess it all to him, but forcibly reminded herself that she was
n’
t sure he was trustworthy yet.

“
Cam, I have to go face my parents and probably the Minister right now. I ca
n’
t possibly talk
.”
She felt the tears well in her eyes again and cursed herself
,“
Please, Cam
.”
She looked at him imploringly.

“
Okay, just tell me that yo
u’
re alright, that no one hurt you
.”
And the genuineness of his statement made her turn her head to collect herself.

“
No one hurt me.
I’
m fine
.”
Alessa caught her own bravery and took hold of Camde
n’
s hand. She squeezed it as she turned to walk away from him. He refused to let go, however, and pulled her back around to face him.

“
Can we talk later
?”
He asked softly. His concern and apparent sincerity chipped away at her doubts about him.

“
I will probably be under lock and key for the rest of my life, but as soon as I am free again I would be happy to talk
.”
Alessa tried to keep her tone light and joking, but the heaviness in the air between them made it nearly impossible.

Camden sighed, pulled her hand up to his mouth, and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. Alessa took a moment to look into his eyes, confused and exhilarated. Then, she mustered her self-control and pulled away from him to go search out her parents.

Alessa walked into the Common Room with sureness in her step and a plan in her mind. Her parents, the Minister, and what seemed to be half of the people of the Capital District were gathered, just as she thought. Their eyes all swept to her as she walked into the room. For a moment, the room hung in suspended silence. Then it erupted in sounds of blurred relief, anger, and confusion. Alessa had decided to command this occasion. It was the only way she could think to obtain the upper hand. So she remained at the top of the stairs with her hand raised in the air until their voices faded away. The crowd looked at her expectantly and she attempted to stamp down the nervousness in her belly.

“
I am sorry I worried everyone
,”
Alessa began. She was disappointed by how her quiet voice shook and she tried to put more power behind it
.“
I was out for a walk and I fell asleep. I was quite exhausted after my hike yesterday and did not realize how much so until I was away from the Manor. I know that it is not within the regulations for me to go out without a guard and I apologize that I did not take any of them with me. I made the decision at the last moment. Please accept my sincerest regrets and know that I will not do anything of the sort again. Now, I would like to have a brief conference with my parents and the Minister if you would all be so generous as to excuse us
.
”

Alessa looked around expectantly as no one moved. It seemed they were all stunned into stillness. This was perhaps the most demanding speech Alessa had ever given. It was certainly unlike her to take charge of the room like that. Alessa did not back down. She continued to look at them as if she expected them to leave and, to her astonishment, they finally began to do just that.

Alessa stood her ground as groups of people passed her. Many of them took a moment to express their gratitude that she was okay or to instruct her to be more mindful of the Empire next time. Alessa used all of her self-control to maintain an agreeable visage at the admonishments. After what felt like an eternity, the room stood empty but for the Minister, Alessa, and her parents. Alessa went to them and was quickly wrapped in her fathe
r’
s arms.

“
I am glad you are okay, Lessie. I was so worried
.”
Alessa felt more chastised by his worry than any other.

“
I promise I did
n’
t mean to, I only meant to walk for a little while
.”
She said, hoping the apology was evident in her voice. She took a chance to glance at her mother, and was surprised by the gentleness that she found there.

“
I am glad that you are okay, that is all that matters
.”
Her mother said thickly.

“
Yes, yes, we are all very glad. Now what is it that you kicked everyone out for young lady
?”
The disapproval was evident in the Ministe
r’
s tone.

Alessa collected herself and began her speech.

“
In less than one yea
r’
s time, I will be offered to the Sacred Ocean as the Sacrifice for the prosperity of the Empire. I am happy to be the Sacred Sacrifice. However, as the date of the Fourth Ceremony gets closer, I wish to alter my typical schedule in some ways
.”
Alessa spoke formally and more to the Minister than her parents.

“
And what ways are those, dear Sacrifice
.”
The name stirred her, but she did not respond.

“
Well, perhaps it is in all ways. I do
n’
t want a schedule. I do
n’
t want appearances. I want to do what I want, when I want to do it, as long as I notify my guard of my intentions. For the duration of my life, I wish to be free of commitments
.”
Alessa had thought of all the ways she would like to spend her days. She was certainly allowed to be late any time she wanted, but most of her days were booked with appointments and she wanted only to have more time to herself.

“
Impossible. You have an image to uphold
.”
The Minister spat incredulously.

“
I will keep my image
.”
Alessa retorted, keeping her cool.

“
Maybe we can all be happy
.”
Alessa was surprised to hear her mothe
r’
s voice
.“
What if Alessa promised to attend all the events that are already scheduled? The important ones were scheduled long ago. The holiday events, balls, and banquets already in place will be attended. In return, Alessa will be excused from other daily appearances unless she so desires to attend and will not be made to attend any dinners that come up along the way unless she should choose
.
”

Alessa was taken aback by her mothe
r’
s reasonableness. She jumped on the suggestion
.“
I agree to it
.
”

“
I think it sounds like an amenable solution
.”
She heard her fathe
r’
s support.

As Alessa hoped, the Minister was disinclined to argue against all three of them.

“
Fine, fine, do what you want
.”
He rolled his eyes and walked away from them with the least amount of propriety that Alessa had ever seen.