The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy (6 page)

Alessa thought that she had been doing a good job of putting on a good face, but now she realized that she was fooling no one. It made her feel slightly ill. Not only did Khi notice, but apparently her parents and even the staff were in on her secret.

Alessa did
n’
t hear anything for a moment, and then she heard movement and soft whimpers. She guessed that her father was holding her mother while she cried quietly. He was very affectionate and her mother never shied from his attention. Alessa was in shock. She could
n’
t have moved away from the door at that moment if she had to save her own life. Khi was right. She did
n’
t know why she was so surprised, Khi was always right, but she was so sure that her mother had turned off her ability to care. The discussion she was hearing was changing everything.

“
All we can do now is help her to accept what is coming and love her through all of her pain and resentment. Tha
t’
s our job. We are the parents to the Sacrifice. We have to help her be satisfied in her place
,”
Aless
a’
s father said quietly.

“
I ca
n’
t accept that
.”
Her mother was barely audible, but began to get louder as she continued
.“
There is a lot we can do. We can run away. We can contact the SDL
.
”

“
Absolutely not. We will not call that league of molesters. What do you want? You want us to save her from drowning just so that she can be attacked by monsters
?
”

“
You ca
n’
t know that they are all like that. All we know about them is what was reported by the Government. We know the Government can tell us anything they want to and they often do
.”
Alessa was a little surprised at the sarcasm in her mothe
r’
s voice.

“
Yo
u’
re right, but it is
n’
t a chance I am willing to take with her. There are worse things in this world than death, Cate
.
”

That was all Alessa could stand. She knocked loudly on the door. She heard shuffling on the other side of the door and it was a few long moments before her father stood before her.

"I know that I didn't tell you yesterday about my birthday wish. I thought I would come by today and tell you." Knocking on the door was an impulsive decision and she didn't have the faintest idea what she wanted for her birthday wish.

"Of course, Lessie, what is it?" Her father swept his arm around to invite her into their room. Alessa's parents' room always smelled faintly of the flowers her mother hand-picked every day and her father's cologne. Alessa took a deep breath of comfort and knew what she wanted to say.

"I don't want a present this year," she said simply. Alessa saw her mother eye her suspiciously with the tears in her eyes barely wiped away. "I have plenty of things. I want to spend this year enjoying what I have, like a normal person."

"Lessie, even normal people get presents on their birthday," her father was smiling.

"Then get me a pair of socks," Alessa beamed up at him. She could tell that he approved of her decision even if her mother didn't understand it.

"Socks it is, darling." Her father laughed as he squeezed her in a tight hug. "You know we love you, right Lessie? We love you more than anything in the world."

"I love you, too. I love both of you so much," Alessa buried her head in her father's chest after she spoke. When she lifted her head and glanced at her mother she saw that her hand was over her mouth and she turned her face away from Alessa when she caught her eye. Alessa felt tears prickle her eyes at her mothe
r’
s show of emotion. She backed out of the room pulling the door closed as she left.

She turned from her parent
s’
room and rushed silently through the maze of hallways back into her own room. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she locked it and collapsed on her favorite oversized couch by the closet. She was overwhelmed by what she had just heard. There was her proof that her mother did love her. She even wanted Alessa to live past the sacrifice despite any personal consequences. She also knew that her father loved her dearly. He had just accepted her fate. It was all so bizarre. She expected that their ideologies would be the opposite. She never could have guessed that her mother was still so conflicted while her father had accepted defeat. Alessa had spent little time thinking of the emotions of those she loved after she was sacrificed. She had thought that they would be grateful for the blessings that the Sacrifice represented. She had believed that they accepted her fate easily. She began to reconsider her assumptions as she thought on what she had just witnessed. Her parents were obviously distraught. And when she thought about it, Khi did
n’
t seem terribly happy the last time they had discussed the topic. It seemed that not only was she upset about the impending Sacrifice, but also that her loved ones were going to be hurt as well. The thought tore through the deepest part of her heart. She did
n’
t want anyone to hurt. Not herself, not her parents, especially not Khi. Thinking of all of it made her feel tired and beaten.

As she thought through what she had just witnessed and all that it signified, a disturbing idea crept through her mind.
Defeat
. They had all accepted defeat. Because that is what this was. It was a complete and utter defeat. She was to lose her life. Her parents were to lose their daughter. Khi was to lose a friend. And the Empire, the Government, they were to gain prosperity. She was starting to realize that what she had been trained her whole life to believe was a lucky blessing was truly a malevolent curse in disguise.

Chapter 3-

“I’
m going to the Carnival tomorrow
.”
Alessa announced to Khilyn. She had spent weeks acting as if everything was fine and she felt like she might explode. She was trying to help her parents to feel better, trying to save face for Khi, and mostly trying to put the whole idea of it all out of her head before she truly had a meltdown. She needed some fun and wanted to get as far away from the Manor as possible. Since that was almost never allowed, the best excuse she could muster was the annual Carnival that would be on the other side of the Capital District.

“
Why tomorrow
?”
Khi asked. They were walking around the courtyard. Alessa was barefoot in the grass and enjoying the mild spring day. The bright greens of spring were evident all around them. Alessa was excited to see the colors of blooming flowers when they arrived. She refused to acknowledge that it would be the last time she saw flowers bloom and grow. As soon as the thought crept up she stuffed it back down into the place that she would deal with later.

“
Because tha
t’
s what I picked. I need a day to decompress
.”
She said matter-of-factly
.“
And, maybe I do
n’
t want the government to have time to shut the whole thing down just so I can go alone. I want to experience the crowds firsthand
.
”

“
Okay, you can go tomorrow, but yo
u’
ll have to go with Camden. And
I’
m also not so sure that they wo
n’
t shut it down
.”
Khi cut his eyes at her as he spoke.

Alessa stopped and turned to Khi
,“
Why?! I thought w
e’
d leave the two newbies here and you and I go to the Carnival
.
”

“
Alec and I have a training to go to
.”
Khi answered simply.

“
Why is
n’
t Camden going
?”
Alessa had her heart set on going to the Carnival the next day, but she was still uneasy around Camden. He had
n’
t stopped his arrogant confidence or his snide remarks. And although the thought of spending the day alone with him excited her in a secret part of her heart, it also made her incredibly nervous.

“
I am your Lead Guard and Alec will one day be Lead Guard. Camden is just extra muscle to have around this year
.
”

“
In case someone decided to knock me off early
?”
Alessa responded dryly.

“
Come on, Less, do
n’
t be like that
.”
Khi looked sad. He had that look more and more often lately. Alessa quickly reminded herself that she had vowed not to make it harder on any of them.

“I’
m only joking
.
”

“
I think you should go to the Carnival with Cam. Maybe it would clear up some of this tension between you two
.”
Khi said carefully.

Alessa had a few ideas of what would clear up the tension between her and Camden, but she was fairly certain that none of them could be carried out at a carnival.

“
But, you do
n’
t trust him
!”
Alessa argued.

“
What in the Empire are you talking about
?”
Khi responded, his face exuding honest confusion.

“
Well, I just know you and I could tell that you did
n’
t trust him. From the first moment in the training room I knew it
.
”

“
Alessa, I would trust Camden with my life. More importantly, I would trust him with yours. H
e’
s a little unorthodox, but I do
n’
t think tha
t’
s a bad thing. Especially with you wanting to run off on an illegal trip to the Carnival
.”
His tone was serious.

“
But every time w
e’
re around him, yo
u’
re careful and you use you
r‘
I do
n’
t trust yo
u’
voice, an
d
…
”
She stopped suddenly, realizing
.“
But i
t’
s not Cam. Every time you act like that, i
t’
s not him, i
t’
s Alec
.
”

Khi sighed dramatically
.“
Yo
u’
re too perceptive for your own good sometimes, you know that, Less
?
”

“
I
t’
s true, though
.”
Alessa said quietly.

“
I
t’
s not that I do
n’
t trust him, h
e’
s jus
t…
ver
y
…
”
Khi struggled to continue
,“
h
e’
s ver
y‘
by the boo
k’
, and he would
n’
t hesitate to tell the Minister anything that would play in his own favor, regardless of the consequences
.
”

“
I do
n’
t understand
.
”

“
Your little outing tomorrow, for example. Alec cannot know about that or he would use it for his own advancement. But, Camden, h
e’
s a good guy, Less. I know he can come across as sort of a pain, but when it comes down to what matters h
e’
s good
.
”

“
Maybe yo
u’
re right, Khi, but
I’
m not going to like you not being there
.
”

“
I wo
n’
t like it either. But who knows, maybe yo
u’
ll have fun. You have
n’
t had enough fun in your life lately. To be quite honest
I’
m worried about you
.”
Khi looked at her in that way that pierced straight through her careful defenses.

“
Oh Khi
,”
She grabbed him in a hug and smiled sadly when his strong arms almost lifted her straight off of her feet
,“
do
n’
t worry about me, Khi.
I’
m going to be fine. Really,
I’
m better than I was and getting better than that every day
.
”