The Fragile Fall (5 page)

I laughed. I had seen Jax and Courtney together—they constantly fought. He was always pulling some kind of prank on her and she was always doing something to push his buttons. They acted more like siblings than Ry and Jax did. “Sure, I’ll come over. What time?”

“Like 5:30. We’ll get pizza or Chinese or something before we begin the movie marathon.”

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Sweet. See you then.” He turned and waved goodbye to Aunt Liv before leaving. As soon as he was out the door, Aunt Liv actually squealed.

“I told you they would be your friends.”

“I know.”

“I’m so happy for you. You seem to be doing much better now that you’re hanging out with them.”

“Yeah.”

She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry about your curfew tonight. You can hang out over there and even spend the night if they ask, okay? I just want you to have fun.”

I had no idea why she’d brought up a curfew because she’d always told me not to worry about it every time I hung out with Jax.

“Okay.”

“We should get you a cell phone so you can let me know what’s going on.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Her eyes were filled with concern and she tilted her head as though she was confused, but I didn’t want to tell her that a cell phone would only remind me of all the people who weren’t calling or texting me. I may have been hanging out with Jax and Ryanne, but I was constantly waiting for them to stop wanting to be around me. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She nodded and finished her cup of coffee as I went upstairs and tried to figure out what to do to fill my day.

Aunt Liv gave me chips and salsa to take to Jax and Ry’s place, saying that I needed to show effort.

Whatever that meant.

When I went to ring the doorbell, I heard Ryanne arguing with someone, so I pulled my hand away and tried to hear what was going on.

“Stop being stupid,” Ryanne said.

“I’m not being stupid,” Jax said. “I see the way you looked at him and you need to stop.”

“I don’t look at him
any
way.”

“Bullshit.”

“I call bullshit on your bullshit statement.”

“I’m serious. You need to stay away from him.”

“Fine. I’ll say away from him. Can we stop fighting about this? It’s getting ridiculous.”

“As long as you stay away from him.”

As I stood there, debating whether I wanted to ring the doorbell or not, Courtney came up behind me.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“Just going to stand here all night and watch the door? Or do you want to go in?” She pushed the door open and stepped inside. I followed behind her, still unsure whether I should be there or not. Ryanne rounded the corner and stopped as soon as she saw me, panic overtaking her face. Her eyes flitted to Courtney and she plastered a fake smile on her face.

“Hey, guys. Glad you could make it.” She came over and took the chips and dip from me.

“What’s up, my favorite bitch?” Courtney exclaimed.

“Court, seriously?” Ry always seemed to get upset about Courtney’s swearing, at least in front of me. Jax told me once that she didn’t care what Courtney said unless I was around. She was afraid that Court’s vulgarity would upset or offend me, even though it didn’t.

“Don’t worry, Will. If you hang out with these two losers enough, you’ll get used to cussing before you know it,” Courtney said, putting her arm around Ryanne’s neck. Ryanne shot me an apologetic look before she ducked under Courtney’s arm. I relished the fact that she had looked at me, even if it was brief. I followed them into the kitchen, feeling uneasy. I had become really comfortable around them, and I hated feeling like I had taken a step backward now. I worried that this was when my friendship with Jax would unravel. Jax kept a close eye on both Ryanne and me, though I wasn’t sure exactly why. It made no sense. I was thankful that Courtney was there. She was able to keep it from being completely awkward and awful. Ryanne avoided looking at me and stayed as far away from me as she could.

No one talked throughout the movie, other than Ry occasionally offering us drinks or snacks. The tension was thick in the air and I made an excuse to leave as soon as the credits started. Jax followed me to the door, blaming the weirdness on him not feeling well. I let him blow it off, though I didn’t believe a word he said.

I was upset. I felt like I had two really good friends in Jax and Ry and suddenly something changed. I had no idea what happened, if I did something or if there was something no one was telling me. The fact that Ry avoided talking to me and looking at me all night and the fact that Jax seemed upset bothered me. I felt like I was being punished for no reason.

August came and I almost didn’t recognize my life. After the strange movie night, things went back to normal, though I never did get an explanation. Jax and I continued to hang out a lot and he had introduced me to a few of his friends and his girlfriend Lindsey. I found out that Jax kept her away from his house because she and Ry fought like crazy. Ry hated his girlfriend and made sure she knew it, so Jax thought it was easier to keep them separated the majority of the time. They had some kind of weird on again, off again relationship. Sometimes they broke up for a week or two and then they’d get back together like nothing happened. Apparently, they had been broken up for the majority of the summer and now that school was starting soon, she’d begged him to get back together. It was too much for me to try to keep up with, so I just pretended to understand.

The more time I spent with Ryanne, the more intrigued I was by her. My eyes always seemed to find her. I couldn’t stop myself, though I tried. I’d watch her as she moved around the house. Her movements were always graceful, like a dancer. I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was, and the feelings I felt stirring inside of me made me nervous. I knew Jax wouldn’t like me being attracted to his sister, but I was.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Ryanne

J
AX
AND
I
COULDN
’
T
SEEM
TO
STOP
ARGUING
.

It was strange having this tension between us, but he was worried that I was developing feelings for Will. I tried to tell him I wasn’t, though I knew that was a lie. I gravitated toward him when he was near and I felt…
off
when he wasn’t there.

I was trying to deny my feelings for him to keep Jax from fighting with me constantly. When Will was around, Jax watched us like a hawk. I tried my hardest to keep from watching Will, but it was a losing battle, and I felt his eyes on me as I moved. His eyes were like a gentle touch that stayed on my skin even after he looked away. I could feel him when he was in the same room, even if I wasn’t looking at him.

I couldn’t lose Jax. He was my brother and one of my closest friends. I worried about what would happen to Will as well. What would happen with his friendship with Jax if we started dating? Would it be ruined? Would it become awkward? What would happen if Will and I broke up? Would Jax get upset with Will for breaking my heart? Would Jax and Will be able to stay friends if Will and I broke up?

August was winding down. School had started and I was spending some time with Will and Jax before my night class.

Well, that had been the plan.

Jax ended up leaving early to go hang out with his girlfriend, which left me alone with Will, something I avoided at all costs. I couldn’t fight my feelings if I were alone with him. He had offered to leave with Jax, but it wasn’t his fault that I couldn’t control my feelings, so instead, I sat by the pool while Will swam laps. I loved watching the way his muscles flexed under his skin. I could watch him move all day.

I felt like I was baking in the sun, so I moved to the side of the pool, dangling my feet in the water. I didn’t want to disturb Will, so I bent over and cupped some water in my hand, then rubbed it over my skin to cool off. Pouring some water over my neck and back, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the cool water against my hot skin. When my eyes opened, Will was standing in the middle of the pool, staring at me. His eyes were heated as he watched the water drip down my skin. I bit my lip, not wanting to break his trance. I liked the way his eyes felt on me. I liked that I didn’t have to pretend that I didn’t want him.

“Hot?” he asked. His voice was huskier, sexier.

“Yeah, a little.” He swam over to the side of the pool and put his hands on my thighs. My breath caught in my throat.

His eyes never left mine as he rubbed his thumbs over my skin. “I could help you cool off.”

“Oh, yeah?” I asked breathlessly. I didn’t recognize my own voice.

His hands moved further up my thighs until they were on my hips. He moved me closer to him until he was standing between my parted thighs. “Yeah.”

Our eyes never left each other. Chills raced over my skin even though the sun was intense, but when his hands moved behind me, I realized what he was trying to do.

“No, no, no!” I squealed, attempting to get out of his grip. He overpowered me and threw me in the pool. I resurfaced, spitting and wiping water from my eyes. Will smirked as I tried to swim away, but he caught me and pulled me closer, tucking a strand of hair over my shoulder. My entire body was pressed up against his. I could feel his breath skating over my skin … his heart pounding … his muscles moving…

It took my breath away.

He brushed more hair out of my face and ran a finger down my cheek. “Are you cooled off?” I nodded and leaned closer to him, wanting to curl up in his arms and never leave. “Good.”

His eyes studied my lips as they parted. I wondered if he would kiss me. I wanted him to. God, I wanted him to kiss me so badly it had become a physical ache. His arms tightened around me and I found it harder to breathe. I was dizzy with the closeness of Will and how incredible it felt to be in his arms. I had never felt this way before.

I didn’t want it to end.

The sliding glass door opened, pulling Will and me out of our trance. Jax and his girlfriend Lindsey stood on the deck. Lindsey was smirking, but Jax had his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrow raised, a slight scowl on his lips. Will dropped his arms and moved away. I missed him immediately. I wanted to move closer to him and tell Jax to leave, but I couldn’t.

I had to be strong.

“Hello,” Jax said, his eyes darting between Will and me.

“Hey,” Will said. He walked over to the side of the pool and climbed out. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself. “I was just heading home.”

“Were you now?” Jax watched him as he left. As soon as Will was out of Jax’s sight, he turned his glare on me. “What the fuck was that, Ryanne?”

I climbed out of the pool, feeling defeated and lost without Will here. The feelings he brought out in me were strong and unnerving. “Nothing. It was nothing.”

“It sure as fuck didn’t look like nothing.” He handed me my towel. “This is what I’ve been saying, Ry. You need to back the fuck off him.”

“Jax, I’m not discussing this with you again. I’m sick of fucking fighting with you.”