The Free (P.S.) (13 page)

At four in the morning the graveyard shift nurse made a routine check on Leroy to find him with a fever. His face was sweaty and pale and he opened his eyes in panic and looked at her. She hit the Call button for help. Leroy’s eyes followed her. He could see her and could smell her perfume. He watched her and then watched as another nurse came into the room followed by a doctor. He could hear them talking and he could feel the pain in his chest growing. His eyes became so blurry from the sweat and tears that soon all he could see were distortions of motion and light.

17

In the basement Freddie McCall found an empty cardboard box and began wrapping toy train engines in newspaper. There were eight in total and he set those on the bottom of the box, and put all twenty boxcars on top of them. In another box he put his remaining track and switches, transformers, and various wagons and buildings. He packed them into his car and drove ten miles to a suburban subdivision and stopped in front of a nondescript white house. He carried the two boxes to the front door, knocked, and a frail, bent-backed, eighty-three-year-old man in striped railroad overalls answered and let him inside.

“How have you been, Terrance?” Freddie asked.

“Oh, I’m fine,” the old man said. “But I have to say I was pretty surprised by your call.” He led Freddie in and shut the door behind him. His front room was clean and stark with just a couch and a coffee table. There were no pictures on the walls or shelves. The old man walked like he was looking for something on the ground. When he looked at Freddie he moved his neck back like he was looking at the sky.

Freddie set the boxes on the coffee table. “Before you get started, Terrance, I know what you’re going to say. Regardless of what it is, I want you to have them. I can’t think of a better person to take them over.”

Terrance cleared his throat and shook his head. “I just don’t understand why you don’t want them anymore. It doesn’t make sense. You’ve spent years building your collection.”

“I know I have, but I don’t need them now. And I want you to have them. I don’t want you to worry, Terrance, but I might have to move out of my house and get an apartment. I won’t have enough room for them if I do and I don’t want them sitting in a storage space rotting away.”

The old man moved his head back and looked at him. “Are the bills that bad, Freddie?”

“I just can’t afford the house anymore. That’s all. But it’s okay. I don’t need that big of a house. I live by myself now. Anyway, can’t a friend give another friend a gift?”

The old man nodded. “But you kept the Erie-Berkshire, didn’t you?”

“No, it’s in the box, too. I know you’ve always wanted one, and I don’t need it anymore. That’s the main one I want you to have. But there’s also the four Civil War engines plus a couple of oddballs. I even put in the Southern Pacific. I know it’s not the best engine, but it was my first one and probably still my favorite. And of course all the cars. I put them in there, too, along with the mule train. I don’t know where it’ll fit in on your set, but I wanted you to have it ’cause it was the first one I ever painted.”

The old man put his hand on Leroy’s shoulder. “I’m about to have a hot lemonade. Do you want one?”

Freddie nodded and followed Terrance to the kitchen. It was a small and clean room and although his wife had died ten years previously it still looked like a woman’s kitchen. Four ceramic fawns sat on a shelf near the sink, and two framed pictures of flowers hung on the walls. He took two cups from a wood cupboard and filled them with lemonade. He set them in the microwave. As he stood waiting, he stared out the kitchen window and his hands shook and his nose ran and he took a red bandanna from his overalls and wiped his nose. When the bell rang, he took the drinks and handed a cup to Freddie, and they walked down the stairs to the basement where the old man had a twenty-by-forty-foot layout of Denver, Colorado, in the 1920s. He put on a worn railroad engineering cap and sat down at a control panel and began moving trains around the various tracks.

“I won’t own them,” Terrance said finally. “But I’ll take good care of them until you want them again. That’s the best I can do. It’s either that or you take the boxes back to your car.”

“Fair enough,” Freddie said and smiled. “Thank you.”

The old man nodded as his eyes followed a Denver-to-Salt-Lake engine pulling a dozen various-colored boxcars. “You look tired, Freddie. Are you eating right?”

“I know I look pretty worn out, but it’s nothing to worry about, Terrance. I’m doing alright. And I’m eating pretty good.”

“Are you taking your vitamins?”

“I’m trying to.”

“You should always take your vitamins.”

“I try to.”

“I’m old but I’m not completely dim,” Terrance said.

“I know that,” Freddie said.

“I can see it in your face. You’re having a hard time.”

“I’m okay. Really, I am. I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping. That’s all.”

“The hospital bills have got you, huh?”

“They’re a lot but I’m working on them.”

“You’ll let me know if I can help?”

“Of course I will.”

“Do you need money, Freddie? I have some money. I can help.”

“No, I’m okay, Terrance. You should hang on to your money. You might need it.”

“I’m not gonna need it.”

“You might,” Freddie said. “You showed me those brochures. Those homes cost a lot.”

“I don’t have to go there yet,” he said.

“But you have to save your money in case you do. You’re the one that told me that it costs a lot to get old. That I should save my money. I don’t want you to stay in some place where they don’t take good care of you just ’cause you gave me money. The place you’re looking at, it’s a nice place. So if you have to, you should stay there. So please keep your money.”

“Alright,” he said. “Your kids okay?”

“They’re fine.”

“You must miss them quite a bit.”

“That’s true. I do.”

“You’ll get them back, Freddie. I have a feeling.”

“I hope so,” he said.

“I’ve had some hard times, too, Freddie. They go away; at least most of them do.”

“Thanks for saying that, Terrance. I’ll be fine.”

“I hate to be a pest to you, Freddie, but you do look so tired.”

“I know, but it’ll pass. Please don’t worry. Anyway, I like the new trestle.”

“It was a lot of work, but I like it, too.” Terrance picked up his cup and tried to take a drink, but his hands shook violently as he did and he set the cup back down. A pack of straws sat near the control panel and he took one from the package and put it in the cup. He bent down and took a drink while an engine chugged past him and headed up the new trestle and into a tunnel.

When Freddie arrived back at his house the Volkswagen Bug was parked in his drive. A fire was burning in the fireplace, and there was a half-full Hostess donut box on the kitchen table next to two empty plastic chocolate milk bottles. He could hear music and the sound of two voices coming from the basement. He went down the stairs to the back room and opened the door, and as he did the smell of the plants and marijuana smoke poured out. The fluorescent lights shone down as Ernie trimmed the plant’s branches with a pair of small scissors while another boy watered them.

“Hey, Freddie,” Ernie said.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to come on Sunday.”

“I meant to come yesterday, but I got too busy. It won’t happen again. We won’t be long. We’re almost done. I’m doing some trimming right now. You have to stay on top of these guys if you want them to succeed.”

The other boy laughed. He was also Indian and was tall and heavy. He was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt. He had short, dark hair and wore army boots and had a red scarf tied around his left arm. There was a bong and a sandwich bag full of weed sitting next to a portable CD player that was playing.

Ernie took his glasses off and cleaned them with his shirt. There was a pack of Life Savers near the baggie and he took five and put them in his mouth.

“You’re gonna eat the whole pack again,” the other kid said and laughed. “I ain’t even had one yet.”

“You better get on it, then,” Ernie said and laughed.

Freddie looked at the other boy. “Who are you?” he asked.

“This is Angel,” Ernie said.

Angel nodded.

“Can I talk to you upstairs, Ernie?”

“Sure thing, Freddie,” he said and set down the scissors. He chewed the Life Savers and took a drink off a can of generic orange soda, and followed him up the stairs into the living room where they stood next to the fire.

“You said you wouldn’t bring anyone else here,” Freddie whispered nervously.

“It’s just Angel,” Ernie said. “Angel and me go everywhere together. He won’t say anything.”

“Lowell told you no other people. I was there when he said it.”

“Angel would rather die than tell anyone about this. He’s Indian. It’s an Indian thing.”

“Don’t mess with me, Ernie. Lowell and I worked together for eight years. I know all about, ‘it’s an Indian thing.’ ”

Ernie laughed. His eyes were bloodshot and they looked worse behind his glasses. “Lowell told me you’d say that. But see I’ve known Angel my whole life. His mom and my mom are best friends. He hates cops.”

Freddie leaned against the mantel. His legs felt like they were going to give out. “Look, Ernie, I don’t want you smoking in here. Lowell would be upset if he knew. You know he would. I’m worried enough about the smell as it is. I don’t need you smoking it, too.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Ernie said. “When it’s cold out you can’t smell anything.”

Freddie sighed and sat down on a chair near the fireplace. He was beginning to have trouble breathing. He covered his face with his hands.

“You alright?” Ernie asked.

“I’ll be okay in a minute.”

“Do you want a glass of water?”

“No.”

Ernie looked about the room and put another log on the fire. He went to the kitchen table, took a donut from the Hostess box, and ate it.

Freddie stood up and leaned against the mantel again. “Just no more smoking and no more Angel, alright? And no more coming on Sunday.”

“Okay, Freddie,” he said and finished the donut. He went to his wallet and took out an envelope from it and handed it to Freddie. “It’s a thousand dollars. Well, nine hundred and eighty, really. Angel and I had to get something to eat. Angel ate twelve bucks at Burger King. He eats a lot. I only spent seven.”

“What’s the money for?”

“Lowell said you aren’t a criminal, and that you’d start having a hard time. I’m supposed to give you the money when you start freaking out. It’s seems to me like that’s what’s going on.”

Freddie looked in the envelope and counted the money.

“We’ll have a harvest in three weeks. You’ll make more money then. White boys at my college buy a lot of weed. It’ll be okay, Freddie. Don’t worry.” Ernie wiped his glasses once more, and then turned around and went back to the basement.

Freddie looked at his watch. He was taking the Sunday night shift at the group home. He had two and a half hours until it started. He stared at the nine hundred-dollar bills and four twenties in front of him. He put a hundred underneath the sink in an empty coffee container and put the rest in his wallet. He took a shower, changed, put two stamps in his coat pocket, grabbed the folder with his past-due bills in it, and left.

He drove to the grocery store and purchased money orders for his past-due water ($263) and electric bill ($556), leaving him with $80. He put the bills and money orders in envelopes and dropped them in a mail box and drove to the hospital. As he entered he noticed the sign for the cafeteria and went inside and bought dinner. He was looking for a seat when he noticed Leroy’s mother in the back, at a small table sitting alone. She was dressed in her Safeway uniform and had black-framed reading glasses on top of her head. On the table in front of her was a half-eaten piece of pie and a cup of coffee.

“How’s Leroy tonight?” he asked as he stood in front of her carrying his tray of food.

“Hello, Freddie,” Darla said and shrugged her shoulders. “Not well, I suppose.”

“Do you mind if I sit with you?”

“Of course I don’t mind,” she said.

He sat across from her and began eating his supper.

“Can I ask you a question, Freddie?”

“Of course,” he said.

“I hate to bother you when you’re eating but I can’t help it.”

“It’s alright,” he said and set down his fork.

She cleared her throat and looked at him. “Why do you keep visiting Leroy? You must have a family or people that need your time. I know you work two jobs. Did anything happen that night? Anything at all? You can tell me if it did. I won’t get you in trouble, Freddie. I won’t.”

“It’s nothing like that,” he said. “I can see how you’d think it, but it’s not why I’m here. When it happened I was asleep. I woke up ’cause I heard the sound of him falling down the stairs. I can only guess at why he did what he did.”

“But still, you come here night after night.”

Freddie looked at his food on the table, but he wasn’t hungry anymore. He pushed the plate forward and set his elbows down. “I guess more than anything Leroy reminds me of my daughter,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

“I have two daughters. The youngest, Ginnie, was born with hip dysplasia.”

“What is that?”

“Both her hips had serious problems. So as an infant we had her in different harnesses to correct the problems, but they didn’t work. So eventually she had four different surgeries, but only one of those was successful. The doctors were always hopeful, but then she would never recover the way they wanted, the way they hoped. She was in a lower-body cast three different times, and she was in them for months each time. The doctors here couldn’t do the operations. We had to go to Seattle and San Francisco. It was expensive to just get there and stay there, and then on top of that the medical procedure and medications were only partially covered. Medical bills began piling up. That’s why I have two jobs.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“What did your wife do for work?”

“She worked at a rental car agency, but she quit to take care of Ginnie. One of us had to quit, and I made more money. But obviously it hurt us losing her paycheck. We were going broke as it was. I’ve worked at a paint store since I was in high school. I’ve only had one real job. I never went to college.” Freddie rubbed his face with his hands. “I used to lay awake for hours trying to think of a way out of our situation but I never could.”

“I was like that when Leroy got hurt,” Darla said. “I could never sleep.”