The Gamal (27 page)

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Authors: Ciarán Collins

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BOOK: The Gamal
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—Wait now, I know where that is, she’d say.

Handing back a man’s change she told him to count it and make sure she hadn’t given him too much. He laughed. Another man asked for a bottle of Budweiser and she looked at him and pointed at him all serious.

—I know where that is.

She went straight to the fridge with the Budweiser and the Heineken in it and put the bottle on the counter in front of him,

—Voilà!

Then she snatched it back.

—Oh, better take the cork off it!

The man was still looking at her after she’d gone on to the next customer. The smile was still on his face. He’d never seen anything like her before in his life. I never seen him before or since but he still thinks of her. How do I know? I know. Cos you’d be the exact same if you were him. Let alone me. Let alone me.

I’m after putting on a pair of sunglasses here. I’m getting a pain in my eyes from the screen and I don’t know how to turn down the brightness of it. Anyhow yeah, as the Yanks would say, she was a big hit, Sinéad was.

All the people who were kept waiting could do was admire her. Hypnotised. Dinky arrived in then.

—James. You weren’t away long, Dinky said.

—I missed you too much.

—You’ll just have to move on and no more about it.

—Any sca?

—Kerby said our attitude is shit.

—Nothing new then?

—No. Said it’s backwards we’re going since winning the championship. How was Trinity?

—Not too bad. Nice buzz around the place. Ocean of foreigners there.

—You’ll fit in well so.

—I might.

—Any totty up there for a loser like myself?

—Met just the girl for you in the Live Music Soc.

—What’s a soc?

—Society.

—Society. Indeed. Tell me more.

—Australian one. Blonde.

—Do fine. Why didn’t you bring her down with you?

—I’d say ’twould be easier to get you up to Dublin to her.

—Wouldn’t be too sure. Problem with Dublin is it’s full of Dubs.

—Savage buzz. You’d love it. Seriously.

—We’ll see.

—Unless you’re back with Racey are you?

—No. No go. She’s odd with me over something I did that I’ve no recollection of.

—The demon drink.

—Might be my saviour yet, if she keeps telling me to fuck off. What do you think of Roundy’s new barmaid?

—Yeah.

—Seems to be settling in well enough anyway.

—Yeah.

—How’s her father?

—Drunk.

—Useless prick. They made me vice-captain for the league.

—Great stuff. Congrats boy.

—Ah it’s nothing really. They just wanted to give more of a voice to the younger lads. Probably would’ve been you if you were around. Pity you didn’t go to college down here and not go all the way up to fucking Dublin.

—Ah sure . . . I’ll be around weekends.

—You goin’ dancin’ later on?

—I hardly will. Might give Sinéad a hand cleaning up. Spend little enough time with her nowadays as it is.

—Under the thumb James. You’re pussy whipped boy.

—Easy kid.

—Easy kid, is right.

They drank in silence for a bit. The different paths they were on now was sitting in between them. An invisible smug ignorant cunt between them that they both knew was there. Same as some unsayable secret that people steer around with moribund talk.

—Gonna head over to a few of these boys a sec.

That was what Dinky said and he getting up off his seat. He turned back to say something to James then but it never came out of his mouth. He just looked at him for a small bit longer than a second and turned away again and went over to Teesh and Snoozie and a few others.

James sat looking at his pint, looking at Sinéad serving drinks every once in a blah. The lads were with a few other lads whose faces I knew from the Four Crosses. The Four Crosses was a small town halfway between nowhere and somewhere else. Was four miles from Ballyronan. Was like Ballyronan’s brother that he didn’t get on with sometimes. Especially at matches long ago when they were children and the Four Crosses children were the devil who they had to beat in the matches. Dirty cheating rats, they were then, for some reason. James turned to me,

—What ya reckon Charlie?

—About what?

—Dunno.

—I know, I said. Hard to figure.

—I suppose I should go over.

—Yeah, I said.

Sinéad was keeping an eye on James between customers. Strange face on her. Same as a boxer’s wife. James arrived over to the middle of one of Snoozie’s stories. He was after telling a yarn about some girl who worked with him in the sweet factory a few years ago.

—She no more went down on you in the jacks now than the man on the moon, Teesh roared at him, looking sideways and nodding to one of the Four Crosses lads, as if to say, What a fucking eejit.

—Honest to God.

—You’re so full of shit Snoozie.

—Fuck you an’ all belonging to ya.

—Ya dumb shite.

Two or three Four Crosses lads acknowledged James’ arrival saying,

—How ya!

And,

—How’s James.

James greeted both by name. They’d have known each other from football. The third lad didn’t greet him.

 

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Would you ever have thought there were so many different symbols on the keys of a computer. I’d no spaces between them first but the computer said the whole lot was only one word the bastard of a thing. So I put spaces between them all and it gave me twenty-seven words for it. ’Tis something anyhow isn’t it? Only the computer knows what the words mean. Anyhow, don’t mind that shit. I’m only distracting myself on purpose. I was talking about James and the lads in the pub and I’m not even sure why but I know it’s part of the story. You won’t be shitting yourself with excitement reading this cos it’s just lads in a pub. But when I was there I noticed some small things so in my story you’ll have to read about small things too. It’s dangerous to ignore the small things. Pay attention to all this or you’ll miss the whole thing.

Teesh and Snoozie were sitting down facing the Four Crosses lads and Dinky who were standing. James had stood slightly outside the group near Dinky’s right shoulder and said to Dinky,

—All right kid?

Dinky ignored him and didn’t move over a bit to include James in the circle. It was one of the Four Crosses lads moved instead, seeing as Dinky didn’t budge.

—What are you having there James? asked Teesh.

—No I’m fine. I’m on a round with Charlie over.

I was looking into space.

—I’ll get the gamal one too.

—No honestly, no I’ll stay with Charlie, cheers.

—Yera go away out of that don’t be annoying me. Dinky what’s James drinking there, Guinness is it?

—Yeah. The gamal drinks Lucozade, Dinky said.

James protested again but he may as well have been dead for all difference his efforts made. Sinéad landed six pints and a Lucozade on the counter. Teesh distributed the medicine he’d bought, saying to Snoozie,

—See will that do you any good. Take one of them every half hour for six hours and come back to me. See will you stop talking shit.

Snoozie got the next round. When Teesh told him what the round was Snoozie asked who the Lucozade was for and Teesh made a funny face with his tongue hanging out and Snoozie knew then that it was for me.

There was another couple of rounds bought then and then it was James’ turn.

James came over to me.

—Have you much money on ya Charlie?

—Fiver only.

—Shit I’m stuck in a big round here with the lads and I’ve only fifteen quid.

He went over and asked Sinéad. She was going to borrow some out of the till but he stopped her. He came back again.

—Don’t want her getting in trouble.

—Yeah, I said.

—I’ll ask Dinky.

Over he went.

—Denis, any chance you’d spot me a twenty ’til tomorrow, I’ve only fifteen quid.

—Yeah no bother.

He gave him the money and James went to the bar. Dinky goes to the lads,

—Ah yeah! The lads who have the most minds it the most.

—That’s true, fuck sake, said Snoozie.

—A fella don’t get a castle by being flaithiúlach, Dinky said.

Flaithiúlach is the Irish for generous. Generous in a kind of carefree way. A flaithiúlach person wouldn’t even know how much money they had and when they had it they’d spend it.

—Don’t be taken advantage of Dinky, Teesh goes to Dinky.

—Look, you know me. I’ll put my hand in my pocket, no fear. If another fella won’t I won’t be found stooping to the same level. We’re here to enjoy a few pints, twenty quid won’t put me up nor down. You know me. Seriously like, what is it only paper at the end of the day.

—Don’t be taken advantage of Dinky, Teesh said again.

—Leave it Teesh. Leave it go boy, protested Dinky.

—You’d want to watch it, that’s all. Wouldn’t want to be making a habit of it, Teesh said.

—’Tisn’t like it’s the first time.

—Ah Dinky, you’d want to wise up to that. Not a nice trait. Fuck sake. You’re a good friend of his and he shouldn’t be sponging off ya. Wise up to it. Don’t let it continue. It’s wrong.

—’Tis all that, agreed Snoozie. All wrong.

—Who the fuck goes to the pub for a Friday night without money in his pocket anyhow? asked Teesh.

—A cute fucking whore, that’s who, said Snoozie.

—Leave it lads, seriously, it’s no big deal, protested Dinky again.

—Miserable.

—Anyhow, say no more, said Teesh.

—Just leave it, each to his own, Dinky said.

—Sure isn’t he from a race of fucking thieves. All the airs and graces in the world can’t hide a savage.

—Leave it Teesh, will ya.

James came back with the first few pints and handed them out. Teesh took his without saying a word. The others said thanks.

By midnight everyone was messy drunk. Faces were red and foreheads were beady sweaty. Spirits were good. The drink was making theorists of them all one minute, comedians the next. Things lads didn’t give a fuck about sober, suddenly they felt very strongly about. Things they were cross about sober mattered no more. Things they knew nothing about sober, suddenly they knew everything about. All wise nodding, serious pursed lips and chin rubbing. Shy lads who would always avoid verbal and eye contact with their elders boldly called over to them,

—How’s the form?

Backslapping affirmations and kneeslapping laughs, I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours. Build each other up. Whatever it is that made me be sitting there drinking Lucozade and talking to nobody is the opposite of what I saw all around me. And what I saw all around me I’m thinking now is maybe what life is made of and it makes me sad to think of me there on that stool all by my lonesome. Make you feel like a ghost among the living isn’t it? Dead to the world I been always.

At half twelve Sinéad flashed the lights on and off. In Ireland that means last call. Last chance to get a drink before the bar closes. Closing time is half past midnight Friday and Saturday night. It’s half eleven all the other nights cos people have to go to work weekdays and the government prefers people to be able to go to work in the morning and as well as that, to be half sober. Sends the gardaí around every now and again to make sure greedy publicans aren’t breaking the law and making extra money out of people’s thirst for drink in the early hours.

Sinéad’s cheeks were rosy red with the height of serving beers in the sweaty flesh-hot sticky air. When she flashed on the lights there was a roar of protest from the lads, led by Teesh.

—Oh. On the button at half twelve? Must be joking!

—What’s that about like?

—Fuck sake!

All Sinéad said was that she was under strict orders from Roundy to close up on time.

—Ye can have one more and that’s it.

Another round was ordered and served. By one the lads were holding empty glasses again and were thirsty for more.

—Jesus Christ if this isn’t a chance of a lock-in I don’t know what is.

A lock-in is when the doors are locked, curtains are drawn and the lights turned down low with customers drinking inside, ahide from the law.

—There’ll be no lock-in tonight Teesh, I’m sorry.

—Unbelievable like. Golden opportunity like.

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