The Gamal (29 page)

—He’s got goodness in him Charlie.

—Yeah, I said.

—No really, she said.

Silence then for a bit.

—One time when I was small he carried me the full length of The Long Strand cos I was tired.

The Long Strand is a mile long.

—He’s suffered like . . . humiliations, you know?

—Yeah, I said.

—He does have goodness in him.

—Yeah. He’s an alcoholic now though, I goes.

—I’d just so love to see him happy you know? Or even . . . respected a bit, you know?

—Yeah.

—I remember one time when I was small long ago. Must have been like only six or seven. And he took me to a match. We got a spin off someone. I can’t remember who but we were both in the back seat. But anyhow, half time came and my father said he was going to the toilet so he brought me over to it and I waited outside. It was kind of high up in the back of the stand behind the goal. It was some kind of temporary toilet cos there was work going on there. The urinals were over a bit but they’d this weird little toilet up high at the back. But in he went anyway about his business. Then I notice everyone is turned around looking back at the toilet. It was some kind of canvas covering over it and the sun was shining so you could see the shadow or like the silhouette of him perfectly. Was like a shadow puppet show of someone like . . . you know . . . going . . . and all the young lads in the stand were having a fierce laugh and cheering his every move when he was like . . . going about his business. He came out then and the whole place gave him a big cheer. He grabbed me by the hand and walked straight out and went to the nearest pub. The people who brought us to the match found us and took me home and left him in the pub. There was some sort of a scuffle before I left. I remember a man holding him back and he trying to attack someone. Probably whoever had come to take me home.

—Were you crying?

—Yeah I was . . . Crap just seems to happen to him, you know? There was this other time. Am I boring you Charlie?

—No, I goes.

You’ll have to decide for yourself if what she was saying was boring but she wasn’t boring me. She couldn’t have isn’t it? She went on then about this holiday they went on.

—It was a big thing for my mother and father like. For the three of us I suppose. My sisters wouldn’t go of course, cos . . . I dunno, I suppose they were just a lot older and didn’t want to. But it was nearly like a proper little holiday anyway like, for the three of us. They’d been planning it for weeks. They borrowed a car off someone and all. We were on the road anyway . . . in the middle of nowhere and . . . my father of course got lost. My mother was all quiet and annoyed.

James just flattened Teesh on his hole then. Teesh still hadn’t got one touch of the ball. Sinéad was all wrapped up in her story.

—So there we were, the three of us, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, could have been Donegal, could have been Clare. To this day I don’t know. But it was the West. There was mountains and it was near the sea. But we were halfway up this mountain, on a grass road looking for our B and B and there’s no sign of life for miles around. Next thing the crock of a car konks. My father was trying the ignition over and over again. Next thing my mam just shouted at him to stop. We all just sat there and no one said a word. Probably for five minutes but it seemed like for ever. I was just frozen there waiting for the fighting to start.

—Oh Christ, I said.

—But then my father turns around to me and he says, ‘Jaisis Sinéad girl, what are we going to do?’ I don’t remember what I said . . . But they both burst out laughing. They were in stitches. And looking back at me. The two of them looking over at each other and laughing and smiling. Mam turned around and stretched back to me and gave me a big hug.

I was listening to her but I was just as interested in watching James make mincemeat of Teesh out on the pitch. Teesh hadn’t even touched the ball once so far. Sinéad was still on about this holiday.

—Then we got out and had a picnic. And afterwards myself and dad went off picking wild flowers for mam. Then later on they took out this big bottle of whiskey.

—Christ, I said.

—No, like, it was OK. There wasn’t anything happened. The three of us sat down and watched the sunset is all. Me in the middle with my coke. Mam and dad drinking the whiskey from the bottle.

Sinéad started rubbing her hands hard against each other then. Seen her do that times before and she telling me stuff.

—And we could see the sea. Not much of it, but we could see it. Down . . . d’ya know the way two hills cross in the distance to make a V.

She showed me with her hands.

—Well there was this tiny bit of sea visible where the hills make the V. And the sun was going down. And it was this . . . just one of those amazing things. A coincidence I suppose. Whatever angle we had with the two hills like and the little bit of sea we could see in between them. The sun went down right in between the two hills, right down the middle, on top of the water. And the sun met the tip of the water. It was like . . . like the old sun and the new sun. With the reflection, you know? The two suns. Does that make sense? It was like. Felt like a birth or something. A new beginning. Does that sound like puke Charlie?

—No.

—But do you know what I mean? Was like some sign or something.

You’d wonder what has delusion got to do with love? Or what has belief got to do with fear. Or what has sacrifice got to do with pity.

—Such a vivid image it was. Am I making any sense Charlie?

—Yeah, I goes.

—And we just sat there and I looked up, into my father’s face. And he was looking over at my mam, kind of smiling but not really. Just staring at her. I knew by his face that right then he’d do absolutely anything for her. Then I looked over at my mam and there were tears running down her face. She wasn’t looking at him, she was looking at where the sun was meeting the water.

James floored Teesh a second time. Teesh still hadn’t touched the ball. No stopping Sinéad either. I looked at her cos she sniffed and I could see she was teary a bit, but she carried on anyhow.

—Oh God. I’m sorry. Dunno where this is coming from. I’m just tired I suppose.

—What happened then, I goes?

—Just remember the three of us watching the sunset. The two suns. So the sun went down and I pretended to fall asleep on the rug. The two of them got their coats out of the boot and put them over me. And I just listened to them for a while. Laughing, talking. Giggles and whispers and my mother humming that Carly Simon song ‘Coming Around Again’.

Then she looks at me all of a sudden and says,

—That’s it Charlie. Harry Hogan played that song on the radio earlier. That’s why it’s in my mind. Jesus.

—Ha, I goes.

—And you know . . . I dunno.

She was just thinking then for a sec and then she goes,

—I’m not sure if it really was that song she was singing now that I think of it. I think it might have just been the song that my mind associated with it. You know? Isn’t that just . . . bananas. Just cos of the sound of the song you know? So weird. Does that ever happen you? Like where you just give a song a place and a time in your life?

I just smiled and looked at her and shrugged. It was nice to see her all excited about something again. Music. It was always the music.

—I’m sorry for being such a saddo Charlie. I’m just . . . I dunno.

—Maybe you should give the song a try yourself with James. The mother has some Carly Simon records, I’ll bring them over to the library.

—Yeah. Maybe. But do you not think I’d get all weepy again?

—Sure so what if you do? Might help you leave it after you.

—Yeah might be nice anyway to give it a try.

She took a slow deep breath then, looking down at her father below. Then I goes,

—You know the two suns with the sunset and the reflection?

—Yeah?

—Is that what that painting is of? The one with the two orange balls that have a red bit in the middle?

—Yeah Charlie. Wow, well spotted. I didn’t think you paid any attention to my paintings.

—Ah I do, I said. But I thought they were two boobs.

—What? Ya dirty eejit Charlie, she goes and she having a right laugh at me.

—Thought you were trying to be like James’ mother and Picasso and them all with boobs every place.

—What? And what did you think the hills were?

—I thought they were like the backsides of two elephants or hippos.

—What? You did not, she goes and she laughing mad.

—Swear, I said.

—Ha, she goes.

We said nothing then awhile and then she goes,

—Is it my imagination or is James trouncing Teesh out there?

—Teesh hasn’t touched the ball once, I said.

—Jesus. Go on James, she said in a little whisper.

Teesh was landed on his ass most of the time now and was making a fool of himself. Swinging a fist at a ball that James was after catching and going off with already. After about ten minutes then Teesh went down holding his back. He limped off holding it.

—Pulled a muscle, goes Teesh, and he heading off up to the dressing room.

Then Sinéad went away cos she’d to go to work.

In The Snug after training Teesh and Dinky sat drinking again. Snoozie was serving behind the bar.

—I’m dying, said Dinky.

—Not too good myself, James said.

—Sure you didn’t even go dancing, said Teesh.

—How’s the back? James asked him.

—Sore enough, goes Teesh, giving himself a rub.

James headed off then. I said I’d stay and finish my Lucozade. Wanted to keep an eye on the lads for a bit before going home myself. Dinky stayed in the pub with Teesh and then they went down to Roundy’s and I went off up the hill home.

James was after telling me how Sinéad was scared working there, that Roundy was creepy to her and Eileen, his wife was horrible to her, throwing her dirty looks the whole time. James was troubled you’d say. He was more like a man of forty-five with money or family troubles than the James from before. Worried, he was.

James got the bus up to the train on Sunday night. His father was at a funeral up the country and Sinéad was working.

The next Wednesday a miracle was after happening Teesh and his back was cured. After training he didn’t go to The Snug, only up to Roundy’s and he started on Sinéad.

—Hey Sinéad, fair play to you, that’s all I say.

—Why?

—No, no. Credit where credit is due. Most girls would hit the roof.

—Hit the roof about what?

—’Tis a fair distance in fairness. Can’t expect him to be pulling his wire up in Dublin with you down here taking care of the locals.

—What are you on about Teesh? Seriously. What are you on about?

—I’m only joking.

He spoke to Snoozie and Dinky then, knowing that Sinéad could hear him.

—She doesn’t even know.

—About what?

—About the Ozzy one.

—SSShhh, for fuck sake Teesh.

—I didn’t say nothing! Apparently she’s like Ballyhale bottled spring water.

—What d’ya mean?

—Good to go.

The lads laughed. That was the advertising slogan for Ballyhale spring water. Good to go. The ads had happy people looking good and going off some place delighted out with themselves and the bottle in their hand. Good to go. Good to go means mad for it.

Sinéad’s mind was ill at ease now. I can see her staring into the distance like the world couldn’t know what she was thinking.

—Little birdy tells me he has an admirer down under!

—Teesh leave it for fuck sake, Snoozie said, and he smiling away mad.

—An admirer down under up above, said Dinky then.

They laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

I must use a semi-colon; makes it look like I know what I’m doing. Teesh started ringing her too around this time. The phone calls used to upset Sinéad no end. He attacked herself and James with his laugh. He’d ring her up in Roundy’s and ask her if she was still calling herself James’ girlfriend and when she said, ‘Yeah, of course. Why?’ he’d just laugh and hang up. I asked Sinéad why she didn’t tell James about Teesh’s nasty phone calls and she said she didn’t want to upset him.

Power in Sinéad’s voice singing the Roy Orbison song ‘In Dreams’ was. Well. She had a tenderness to her voice that made the power of it at times kind of shocking. Frightening, nearly. Wouldn’t mess with a voice like that, you wouldn’t. Strength of it. Floor an army it would. And it comes over first all sweet and innocent and girly. Then. Well. You’d have to have heard it to know isn’t it?

The line, ‘And if too pale the moon these things’ we couldn’t make out on the record so that’s what Sinéad used to sing. James used to get kind of excited at this part of the song and hammer the shit out of the piano. This made something kind of extraordinary out of Sinéad and the sound of her and the look of her. She was measured still and restrained and her voice demolishing James’ belting piano playing and she standing there still as a lamp and James like a fella getting a thousand volts a second. The sound was electric too isn’t it? Shocking it was. It shouldn’t have even been possible.