The Gamal (32 page)

—Ah lads, said Sinéad, get real now like.

—What song?

—I dunno, I said. Some old Irish love song ballady thing. There’s a lot of nice ones.

—Or what about ‘I Got You Babe’? Sinéad said.

—What ya think Charlie?

—Yeah . . . maybe, I said. There’s lots of songs.

We spent a day up in the library in the castle listening to old Irish love songs and ballads. Sinéad singing a verse or two of them all with James finding them on the piano trying to keep up with her. ‘Dan Murphy’s Meadow’, ‘The Dutchman’, ‘She Moved Through the Fair’, ‘The Voyage’, ‘Carrickfergus’, ‘Sweet Sixteen’, ‘The Lass of Aughrim’, ‘The Sally Gardens’. We ended up going with ‘Silver Threads among the Gold’ sung as a duet.

We listened to it a million thousand times on the record player. The song was on two of my mother’s records. John McCormack and The Fureys with Davey Arthur. The McCormack version was like orchestra. But in a quiet kind of way, not like the usual show-offy orchestra. Let his voice do the flying it did. The Fureys with Davey Arthur record did a bit more with it. There was one of them lads could make the banjo talk to you. In a soothing kind of way. Finbarr Furey sang then. There was in his voice the tenderness of a ghost who was fierce fond of all the living. And he after smoking a million hundred thousand cigarettes and after drinking as many pints. In search of some different kind of wisdom isn’t it?

At the wedding during the dinner Teesh came over to our table and started taking the mick out of James about something that puzzled him.

—This must be one of the biggest band break-ups since The Beatles, Teesh goes.

—What? James asked.

Snoozie and Dinky started skitting then.

—Where’s the Little Rascal? Teesh says, looking around with a big grin on his face. Then he sees him and shouts over to him,

—All right kid? Viva L’Espagna!

Then the Little Rascal starts breaking his hole laughing and goes back,

—Viva L’Espagna, giving a big thumbs up.

Did I tell you who the Little Rascal was? Shite little pub singer fella used to work in the building site up the road from my house too and he used to sing in the pubs in Spain. And Germany too I think. One man band. One bad man.

Teesh and Dinky and Snoozie and Racey were all skitting laughing. Sinéad was blushing and said,

—Go away Teesh will ya.

And off he did go laughing mad back up to the top table and he looking back at the lads and over to the Rascal laughing away mad the whole lot of them. I couldn’t figure out for certain if it was real or fake laughter. It was partly real and some of it was fake and maybe they were just all licking up to Teesh cos it was his big day, but I was as puzzled as James was. He turned to Sinéad and asked her,

—What was all that about?

—Oh just something stupid, she said. He asked me to go with him to sing in a pub in Spain.

—What? goes James, with a puzzled cross look on his face.

—It was just kind of a joke like but the lads won’t leave it drop.

—Cheeky little prick, I’ll break his face.

—Calm down James. Don’t make a scene. Not today.

—Cheek of the little prick, James said again.

Then he looks at Dinky and Dinky just smiles and shakes his head and James stared at him until he stopped smiling. All this was news to me as well as James. It was impossible to keep an eye on things all the time. Sometimes I’d prefer to be listening to her on tape than watching her in the company of them fuckers. Next time Teesh came over he says all serious like, that they sounded very good together like. That their voices worked well together. James said nothing until he went away then he asked Sinéad did she sing with him in the pub.

—Yeah. Just one song. They were all saying to go up for one song. I had to. I hated every minute of it. He’s rubbish.

James said nothing, just took a drink of his pint.

Anyhow, that was the end of the Rascal stuff for the rest of the night. Then later was time for The Promise to sing. The Promise is the name we called the band. It was Sinéad came up with it. She didn’t want James to be seen as just her guitar player or the keyboard player so she insisted on a name. Another one she came up with was Elsinore, just cos she liked the sound of the word. James came up with No More Auction Block but that was too long. Only thing I came up with was Sinéad And James. They didn’t like it. We all liked The Promise though. I feel so so sorry for you that you never heard Sinéad sing the lines,

Oh my darling, mine alone, alone

You have never older grown

cos it’s the nicest thing I ever heard maybe. And I know now that a lot of the people at the wedding were affected by their performance in the deep way and in the way that’s so rare it’s confusing. All powerful and all. Maybe. Maybe if I heard it now I wouldn’t be as floored by it. I’m better now at dealing with music for what it is and not something that important.

I noticed she only ate two bites of dinner and was quiet at the table. The nerves were at her. The wedding band man lowered the mic for her and said, ‘Testing, testing one.’ She looked over at James and gave him the nod. James’ intro on the piano was fine. Robbed off The Fureys. At the start, Sinéad didn’t take her eyes off James. Next thing Sinéad. She sang the first two lines of the song still looking over at him. Then she turned around to face the audience. Everyone at the bar stopped and turned around. People who were talking talked no more and looked up at Sinéad. I knew deep in my heart that this was something that couldn’t be stopped now. This voice, which was now heard, was a force of nature and all who heard it. Well. Beguiled them isn’t it?

I’m up right at the front of the stage over by the side cos I helped James with moving over the keyboard to where Sinéad could see him. Anyhow next thing I see a few people at the front turning around from the stage. Next thing another few did it. Just glancing back at the back of the hall. Then I heard what it was they were turning around for. Some people were laughing and heckling at the back of the hall. All in a huddle at the back of the hall were Teesh, Snoozie, Dinky, Racey and and a few more of Teesh’s brothers and they all bent over laughing. Staring up at the stage and convulsing. Pointing. Nudging each other. Could hear Teesh roar something and they all laughed mad again. The veins popping out of their temples and their mouths all teeth laughing mad and the eyes on them that weren’t laughing at all.

Sinéad sang through. James looked down the hall but kept on playing. Sinéad was singing still. By the time she got to the end of the song her voice had become something else. A quivering remnant. There was silence for a second after she’d finished. Then the clapping started with people still glancing to the back of the hall where the laughter continued, bold and strong. Dinky put a hand to his brow and shook his head that was laughing still. Teesh nudged him and they laughed some more. The wedding band singer spoke into the mic,

—The Promise, ladies and gentlemen, Sinéad Halloran and James Kent.

The crowd clapped again but Sinéad was after leaving the hall out the side door to the smoking area. James had to help a musician put back the keyboard. I looked one more time at the wild laughers at the back of the hall. All backslapping and head shaking. I didn’t draw the rest of them but this was their faces.

Imagine if you had them faces up at you. And that they were your best friends. And you revealing the best and most secret part of you. Do you no good anyhow isn’t it?

Outside Sinéad was crying and her father was in her face.

—I’m fucking ashamed of you, do you know that? Fuckin eejit of a young one.

Then he looks at me and says,

—Thinks she’s fuckin Aretha Franklin that one.

Then he takes a second look at me and says,

—Jesus Christ! Ye’re a fine pair. Pair of fucking dumbos. And Prince William as bad.

And off he goes. Sinéad was sobbing. I told her she was brilliant. She didn’t answer, just shook her head. Then James came along.

—Jesus Sinéad what’s wrong?

—I was shit, that’s what’s wrong.

—What? What? Charlie tell her.

—Told her.

—You weren’t shit babe. You were class.

—They were . . . they were all . . .

—No.

—They were all laughing at us.

—Only Dinky and Teesh and a few of the pissheads babe. They’re just drunk, they didn’t mean it. They were only doing the fool.

—It was awful.

—Don’t you see babe?

—See what? It was horrible.

—They’re all only jealous of you. Racey? Jesus babe you can’t take any notice of them. Teesh? Snoozie? Dinky? What do they know?

Sinéad was bawling crying now.

—They were in stitches laughing, she said.

—That’s just them babe. Drunken jealous fools babe. You can’t take any notice of them. The rest of the people loved us.

—My father said he was ashamed of me.

—But sure. You’ve heard that from him before.

—But sure what?

—He just cares what those pissheads think. Surely you don’t babe. You can’t. You were awesome.

—Yeah. That’s what’s true. That’s what’s true, I said.

—See? You know Charlie wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.

—Yeah. I wouldn’t. James is right.

—Listen to him Sinéad. Please. Please babe . . . Believe babe.

—Wasn’t real laughing Sinéad. Only the jealous type. Not from the heart. From some place else. Heartless.

—Charlie’s right Sinéad. Believe in yourself.

She continued sobbing. Then I said,

—Yeah Sinéad. Believe in you. Not them.

James went away back to Dublin again. Was only a couple of weeks to Christmas so we wouldn’t see him until then. He asked me to call into Roundy’s often as I could, just to keep her company. He rang her every night himself anyhow, whether she was at home or in Roundy’s. I called in in the evening after my dinner every night. One time the foreman sent me down for smokes to the village and I met Sinéad coming out of the doctor’s and I said what’s wrong with you? She said it was about her father’s chemo. She asked me to meet her for lunch the next day. It was dry so we went for a walk down by the river. She had a sandwich she got from the shop and a paper cup of tea.

—Charlie, you’re going to have to fix up your life you know.

—Ha?

—Like. You’ve got a lot to offer like you know.

—Yeah.

—That’s what you always say. But you need a plan Charlie. You could get into the music industry or something. You must come up with a plan.

—I will.

—Would you like to be a roadie? Like for U2 or something. They say they really look after their workers.

—Yeah. I suppose.

—Like you can’t just be waiting for me and James to make it cos it might never happen and where would you be then?

—I’d still be there. I’d help ye anyhow.

—Charlie you’re too bright to be a sidekick all your life. Like you could get a job in a music shop even. Get to know people with the same interests as you.

She must have thought I got upset then or something cos she goes,

—Hey . . . Charlie . . . I’m not saying like that we don’t want you with us any more. We love you Charlie. It’s like what Bob Dylan said about Johnny Cash Charlie. Remember? He said Johnny Cash was like the North Star, you could guide your ship by him. You’re our North Star Charlie. You been there showing us the way from day one. Best of times Charlie. So the best of times.

There was silence then for another bit.

—Like remember the hen party last year that stopped off in Ballyronan. And that girl you were with until Teesh and the lads started slagging her about you. She fancied you Charlie. And I know you fancied her cos I seen you looking at her across the bar. Teesh and them are only pricks and they’ll drag you down always if you stay around here. And I know you could get your teeth fixed if you really wanted to and the social welfare would probably cover it. When was the last time you were at the dentist?