The Game Changer (9 page)

After my shower, I pay extra attention to fixing my hair. I add a little hair product then leave it long and wavy. I actually think I did a pretty good job. As I get dressed, I begin to second guess the outfit because I’m not sure I can pull it off; it’s not something I would normally wear. I mean, I love the front, it fits loosely and drapes over the sides of my chest, but it totally leaves the sides of my body and back exposed. It’s really, really pretty, though.

I can do this. I need to loosen up a little, right? I make such a big deal of small things. Anyone else would be dressed and out the door by now.
De wouldn’t think twice about wearing something like this and I’m always admiring her clothes
, I think to myself while studying the unfamiliar image in front of me. Okay... let me grab my sunglasses. For some reason, they give me more confidence. I like to think people can’t see me or something. I know. I’m crazy.

As I’m crossing the street, walking up to De’s house, Mikey is pulling into the driveway with a girl in the front seat. His window is down and he lets out a loud whistle from the car.

“Shut up, Mikey; don’t start!” I yell at about the same time Luke is walking out the door.

Mikey continues laughing. “Wow! Look at you, whatta ya have a date tonight?”

Now Luke is staring at me. “Okay… don’t you start, too,” I gripe. “I’m already feeling uneasy.”

“I didn’t say anything… you’re already pissed at me,” he says innocently while staring at me. Then, he abruptly turns and heads back into the house.

“Where are you goin’?” Mikey calls out to him.

“To get a sweatshirt.”

“For what? It’s a hundred degrees,” Mikey exaggerates.

“For her. She’s going to need it,” Luke answers, nodding in my direction.

I can hear Mikey laughing as I push past Luke and run up to De’s room. I’m already feeling uncomfortable and the last thing I need is them busting on me.

“You look awesome!
What’s wrong? Why are you so flushed? Are you okay?” Deanna asks with concern as I sit down on her bed.

She looks beautiful as usual. “How do you manage to pull it off and always seem so confident?”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“I just ran in to Mikey and Luke outside. Mikey whistled and asked if I had a date, and Luke said he was bringing me a sweatshirt. This is way too much for me, right? I look like I’m trying too hard. I’m not comfortable. Should I go change?” I’m rambling.

She starts laughing, “Absolutely not! You look fabulous and it’s a good thing you got that reaction from them!”

“I don’t know... my stomach’s sick.”

“You’re fine. Sit down. Put these on.” She hands me a pair of silver hoop earrings. “I’m just going to pluck your eyebrows a little. It won’t hurt and I’m going to add a tiny bit of translucent eye shadow to your eyes, so you won’t really see it, but when you close your eyes it will add a touch of sparkle. Okay, now a bit of liner and mascara and a touch of lip gloss.” She says excitedly as she lightly applies everything. “There… Perfect. You don’t need much make-up. You’re naturally pretty, but this is nice for night time because it will bring out your eyes and lips a little more...What do you think?”

I try to sound enthusiastic, but the nerves are setting in. “It looks nice, thanks.”

***

It is a ten minute walk to the inlet. Once there, we follow a long almost hidden path, man-made by local teens throughout the years, leading to the wide open beach surrounded by the greenish-blue water, gently washing ashore. About halfway through the woods, the smell of a fire pit and the sounds of music fill the air. You can see crowds of kids playing wiffleball, horseshoes and volleyball. Guys toss around footballs while girls stand around and talk.

When we finally reach the beach, we immediately run into Luke right off the bat we run into Luke, Mikey and the rest of their friends playing horseshoes. Most of them say ‘Hi’ to Deanna as we pass.

Luke calls me over. “Hey, Jess, come here for a sec.” I am going to kill them both if they embarrass me in front of everyone. I hesitantly walked over as
Luke continues, “I caught a lot of flak, for not introducing you to everyone at the beach the other day.” “Okay, that’s something I can deal with. “This is Steve, Zach, Chris, and Rob. And, this is…
Jesse
. She moved here from Philly at the end of the school year. She lives across the street from us.”

“Nice to meet you,” I answer quietly and give him a smile for remembering to introduce me as Jesse.

He winks. Ah... butterflies. De pulls my arm. They both know I don’t like to be bombarded by people all at once. I’m always afraid of what questions I may be asked. I don’t want to get caught off guard.

“Those guys are from their team. I wanted to get you out of there before they attacked and, from the look on Luke’s face, he was thinking the same thing,” Deanna says as we say our goodbyes.

I’m still feeling a little self-conscious when we met up with our friends because I can’t stop is thinking this outfit is a little too much. I wish I had taken the sweatshirt from Luke. I relax a little once we say hello to everyone and join in their conversation. Billy immediately comes over to stand next to me as Timmy comes over to say hello to Deanna. She introduces me to him before they talk for a while, then Billy and he go to play football with their friends.

I begin to enjoy the atmosphere; listening to the music, watching everyone having a good time when I spot Alexa. Okay, so my outfit has nothing on hers. Her skin tight, white mini barely covers her crotch and the silver zipper is halfway down to her belly button, practically spilling out her grapefruit-sized boobs. She looks as if she just stepped out of a cheesy rock band video, except that she always looks like she’s in a bad mood.
I bet she’d be prettier if she smiled
, I think to myself. Then again, I don’t think the guys are looking at her smile. As I’m taking in her ensemble, I realize it is getting dark so I’ll have to take the sunglasses off. So much for spying.

We have a large blanket spread out on the sand, close to the bonfire. The heat from the fire feels good against the cool breeze coming from the water. Billy takes his usual spot next to me. Timmy and Deanna seem to be getting along fine, chatting on their own blanket, next to ours. Matt and Lori are
sitting with us. Cathy and a boy I recognized from the boardwalk are sitting next to them.

The fireworks will be starting soon and I feel Billy getting closer. He slowly puts his arm around my shoulder. I don’t move, even if it does make me nervous. I spot Luke, further down to the left of us, he glances over now and then, but Alexa has him pretty wrapped up; she is annoyingly all over him.

Mikey is with the girl that was in his car earlier. I lean towards Deanna. “Who’s that with Mikey? She’s pretty, but I’ve never seen her before.”

Deanna looked over. “She doesn’t go to our school. She’s okay I guess.” She shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn’t agree. Hmmm. I wasn’t expecting that reaction; she seems annoyed. She turns her attention towards Timmy who whispers something to her. She instantly returns to her normal cheery self. “I’ll be back, I’m going for a walk with Timmy,” she whispers, giving me an indiscrete nudge.

“Have fun,” I say quietly as they pick up their blanket and walk off in the direction of the jetty. Timmy takes her hand. I guess that was Billy’s cue.

“Hey, Jesse. Do you want to go for a walk?” He still has his arm around my shoulders.

Even though I was expecting it, I panic. I scurry away and quickly stand up. “Not right now Billy. Maybe later, okay?” I answer, nervously backing away as if he is an alien. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. “I’ll… I’ll be back in a minute,” I stutter.

He seems shocked and is sort of speechless for a second. He calls out, “Are you okay? Do you want me to come with you?” 

“No... I’ll be right back,” I say back as I hurry off. What am I doing? I can feel everyone watching! I look like a crazy person! I blew it! Everyone will know what a freak I am!

I walk as fast as I can until I reach the path in the woods, but I don’t follow the path. I veer off into the woods, wanting to be alone.  I make my way through the thick brush, walking until the sounds of kids partying and the music is a safe distance away. I come across a log and sit down with my back against the tree to catch my breath. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be like everyone else? I can feel the tears building up in my
eyes.
Why did I run?
I ask myself as the tears begin to fall.

***

(Luke)

What happened to her? I’ll kill Lidell. Where is she going? Should I kill him first or check on her? I’ll check on her and then kill him later. Good, Alexa’s too busy babbling to her friends to notice I’m gone.

I jump up and follow in the direction she’s heading. I try to hang back so that it isn’t obvious to anyone that I’m following her.  Why is she walking into the woods by herself? She’s not even on the path. What is she thinking? Good. She just missed running into Mikey and Tara. I cut into the woods when she does, even though I’m further away. I don’t feel like having to explain to Mikey what I’m doing. He doesn’t see either of us; he’s too busy working his new girl. Why is JJ so upset? What the hell did Lidell say to her? I’ll kill him for upsetting her. She looked so happy earlier as she was having fun. Man, she looks... so… so… beautiful tonight. Well, then again, I always think she looks beautiful.

I also know her, though. Tonight is a big deal for her. She wants to fit in, have fun, and feel normal again. Well, as normal as she can, without having her mother with her. She’s already been hurt enough.

As I make my way through the thick rows of trees and brush, I call out her name while swearing under my breath that I’m going to flatten Billy Lidell the next time I see him.

***

(Jesse)

Not even a minute after I find my hiding spot, I hear his voice. I freeze.

“JJ.... Jess, where are you?” he calls out in a loud whisper, but I sit as still as possible and don’t answer.

“JJ, I know you’re here. I’m not leaving till I see you.”

Again, silence. My heart so loudly, I’m sure he can hear it. I don’t want him to see me like this.

“J, I’m serious. Where are you? I’m not going anywhere until I see you,” he says more sternly and a little louder.

No reply, I don’t dare move.

“JJ, where the hell are you?”  This time he is loud and annoyed and he sort of scares me.

I gave in, afraid that if he called out any louder, someone might hear. “Shh... I’m over here, Luke.”

I can hear the crackling of leaves and twigs beneath his feet. As he finally reaches my hiding spot, he straddles the log so that he is facing me. “What happened?” he demands as he wipes a tear from my cheek.

“Nothing. I was having fun, but I blew it. They are going to think I am such an idiot... I don’t belong here, Luke. I don’t fit in with these people,” I repeat as I feel a few more tears escape my eyes.

“What? That’s crazy. You fit in just fine. Who cares what they think? You don’t think Lidell’s an idiot? Pleasssse! What did he say to you?” he asked protectively.

“Luke, stop. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. I like him, he’s nice...he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well then, what happened? Why are you upset?” He softens his tone, holding my face in both of his hands as he wipes away more of my falling
tears with his thumbs. “Can you tell me? Or, do you want me to find De?”

“God, no. That’s all I need, you hunting down your sister.” I knew I could trust him. He teases me a lot, but when I’m serious about something, he listens. “You can’t make fun of me.”

“Would I do that?” He flashes that smile, lightening the moment.

“I’m serious, Luke.”

“I know. I promise,” he says sincerely.

“Well, you know Billy likes me, right?” I ask shyly, averting my eyes away from his.

“Yes,” he answers without sounding too happy about it.

“And… you know how I haven’t been around kids my age for a long time, right?”

“Yeah… so?”

“I really didn’t have much experience... well, actually... no experience… and... Billy just asked me to take a walk with him...” I nervously glance up at him, hardly able to face him after my admission.

A grin was forming on his face. “Okay… I think I see where this is going.”

“You promised.”

“I know. I know, but you’re just so cute; I can’t help it.” He’s smiling... my stomach flutters. He continues, “So you’re afraid to...”

“…kiss him,” I finish the sentence for him as I lower my head, trying to hide the embarrassment. “I’ve never kissed anyone before… crazy, right? De and I talked about this earlier. I knew Billy liked me and she said to just get it over with, but I panicked. What am I going to do, Luke? They must think I am so strange; for just running off when he asked me to go for a walk.” By now the sky was lighting up a million different colors. It was beautiful. “Look you’re missing the fireworks and everything. You better go. I’m fine; I’m being stupid.” I say, feeling silly for overreacting.

He doesn’t turn to look at them. “I’ve seen them a thousand times, besides, this is more interesting,” he teases. “Don’t make fun,” I say, embarrassed to face him as I lower my eyes.