The Ghost in Love (28 page)

“Who is the enemy here? Who wants to stop us?”

“You already asked that before, Ben.”

“And I'm asking it again. Know why? Because we're the good guys of this story. There are even parts of ourselves we don't know about that are working to protect us. So I want to know who the enemy is. Who doesn't want us to live and decide our own destinies?

“Look at the facts: we didn't die when we were supposed to. When both of us got out of the hospital, strange things began happening, and they just got stranger. A bad guy in an orange shirt and a little boy came after us; ghosts and verzes showed up to protect us from them.

“You're able to visit your past like it was a personal Disneyland. I
can go in and out of your mind like I have my own entrance to it. And I can talk to dogs and understand when they talk to me.”

“Dogs?”

He scratched his head. “Yeah, well,
my
dog, at least. By the way, have you seen the pink fog yet?”

“What pink fog?”

He considered explaining but decided it would only complicate things. “Never mind, it's not important now.”

She accepted that and went on thinking things through in her head as she spoke. “You believe because we didn't die when we were scheduled to that we now have special powers?”

“Absolutely. Look around you. Look where we are. How else could we be here if we didn't have powers?”

“And you want to know who's trying to stop us?”

He nodded.

Danielle said matter-of-factly, “I can answer
that
.”

“You can? Who?”

“It's one of the reasons why I'm staying here and not going back, Ben.”

“Who is it? Tell me!”

On the table was a small black beaded silk purse. The very feminine, impractical kind so small that it's only big enough to hold a pen, some paper money, and a pack of cigarettes. Danielle reached over and picked up this purse. It was her teenage self's idea of chic. Tonight's date with Dexter was the first time she'd used it since buying the bag at a secondhand store. Opening it, she took out a white plastic compact. Opening that, she turned to one side and gently blew powder off the small mirror inside. Then she offered the compact across the table to Ben. “Right in here. Have a look.”

Puzzled by her gesture, he reached for it. As he was about to touch the compact, everything around them went black. The pitch black behind your eyes after you close them for the night in the dark. Cave black. Basement black.

“Danielle?”

She did not answer.

“Danielle?” He sat still, not moving an inch, waiting for the lights of the world to come back on. At the same time he knew this was not just a power failure or blown fuse. The black was too absolute and unnatural. A moment before, they were in a large outside garden. There are many lights outside at night: street lamps, lights from windows, auto headlights. But now there was nothing. The blackness was complete. If he had held his hand an inch from his eyes, he would not have seen it.

“Danielle?”

Pilot landed flat on his back
, the wind knocked out of him. Pain coursed through his body. The dog lay gasping and disoriented. In a small corner of his mind he was outraged at what had just happened. Enough was enough!

Why was everyone and everything beating up on the poor dog when he was only a bit player here? Pilot knew that was his role in life and he accepted it. But since when did bit players get treated so outrageously? How much torment did the universe have planned for him?

Once he could breathe normally again, Pilot twisted onto his side and carefully got up. Somewhere along the way something bad had happened to his right front paw. When he stood and put pressure on it, the paw almost buckled from pain. Perfect. Just perfect. All he needed now was to walk with a limp.

Looking down the hall, he saw the two women. Both of their backs were to him. Nearby, the door to Danielle Voyles's apartment stood open. He limped over to it and walked in.

The next thing he noticed was the strong smell of Chinese food in there. Pilot loved Chinese food. When he was living rough on the street, one of the first things he did every day was to forage in the garbage cans outside two separate Chinese restaurants. Give him dim sum and he was a happy dog. Danielle's apartment smelled strongly of chop suey and hot monosodium glutamate. It smelled of vegetables boiled too long and steamed rice. Otherwise it was a normal empty apartment. He walked into every room and peered closely in corners but discovered nothing out of the ordinary there besides that inappropriate smell.

“Danielle?”

The dog froze. He recognized Ben's voice instantly. But Pilot was certain after having just visited every room in the apartment that no one was there.

“Ben?”

“Pilot? Pilot, is that you, boy? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm okay. Where are
you
?”

“Here, Pilot, I'm right here. But since it's so black, maybe that's why you can't see me.”

Pilot rubbed a paw across his nose. “What do you mean,‘black'?”

“Everything. It's totally black here. What, you don't think so? Hey, can dogs see in the dark?”

“No! But it's not black where I am. It's not even dark.”

There was a pause, as if Ben were thinking over this new piece of information. Eventually he asked in a very different tone of voice, “Just where are you?”

Pilot said, “In Danielle's apartment. Where are you?”

Ben said curiously, “Me too. I mean, sort of.”

“What do you mean,‘sort of'? I hear your voice, so you must be here.”

Ben's voice became softer. “Where are the women? Where's German?”

“Outside in the hall. Down the hall with Ling.”

“Can you go get them, please?”

Pilot kept looking around the apartment, sure that any moment he would see Ben Gould . . . somewhere.

“Pilot, are you still here?”

“Yes.”

“Could you do that for me? Could you go get the women?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you very much. I'll be right here waiting.”

The dog remembered something. Tipping back his head, he looked at the ceiling. Perhaps Ben was up there, like the little boy on the kitchen ceiling. But this time there was nothing on the ceiling of Danielle's apartment.

“Pilot?”

“Yes?”

“It's really not dark where you are? Not at all?”

“Uh, no. It's normal. I can see everything.” While speaking, Pilot looked around the room. “No—no dark here.”

“Okay. That's all. I just wanted to make sure.”

Pilot left the apartment to go get German and Ling. In the darkness, Ben lowered his head and waited.

The compact fell off
Danielle's fingertips and dropped on the table. Ben was supposed to take it from her but he'd suddenly disappeared. Looking around, she did not see him anywhere. There was a spring roll on her plate. She picked it up and bit into the half-crunchy, half-soggy food while staring at her open compact lying upside down on the table. Where did he go? How had he disappeared in the seconds it took to hand someone a small object? And more than that,
why
had he gone? She was about to tell him her big discovery when he vanished. “Ben?” She didn't expect an answer but felt she had to say his name anyway just to be sure. Where was he?

“Where's your friend the old guy? Did he finally get the hint?” Dexter pulled out his chair and sat back down. “Who was that, anyway? He was a friend? How come you never told me about him before?”

Dropping the egg roll onto her plate, Danielle lifted her head. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“My name. Someone just said my name. You didn't hear it?”

“No.”
Dexter lifted and dropped one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. He'd had enough of other people saying Danielle's name tonight. This
was supposed to have been their big special night together. But now it seemed like his girlfriend was suddenly the most popular person in the restaurant. How about making some time for him?

She held her head at a strange angle, as if waiting to hear something else. Dexter kept quiet because he was considerate and a coward and didn't want to make her angry, especially not tonight.

“Ben? Is that you, Ben?” She turned back to Dexter. “Did you hear
that
? Didn't you hear someone say my name again?”

“No. Sorry.”

“You're sure?”

“Yes.” Dexter made two fists under the table.

“Well, I did. I know I did. And I know it was him too.”

“Who?”

“Ben. The guy I was just talking to.”

In spite of himself, Dexter looked around to see if he could locate this Ben. “Where did he go?”

“I don't know.”

“But, Dani, how could he be calling you if he already left?”

“I don't know, but I'm sure it was him.”

“Okay. If you say so.” He looked away. He looked at the ground. He looked anywhere but at Danielle.

“Dexter?”

“Yeah?” The expression on his face was that of a little boy who just wanted to be hugged.

“Everything's okay. Everything is going to be fine, don't worry. Just hold on for a few minutes.”

Pilot could not wait
any longer. Always the gentleman, he had stood a long time at a respectful distance while waiting for one of the women to turn around and see him. As soon as they did, he would
relay Ben's request. But neither of them moved. Neither woman appeared to be doing anything but standing with her back to him.

“Excuse me?”

No response.

Pilot said it louder
“Excuse me?”

Ling looked over her shoulder and saw him but did not react. Something was very wrong with her. Pilot could see that even from a distance. She looked sick and not “all there.” Silently, the dog asked if she was okay. The ghost did not respond. Pilot had the feeling she had not heard his question so he asked it again. She remained silent.

He walked over to them and nudged German in the butt with his head. The tall woman touched her eyes before turning, as if trying to clear her vision. “Pilot! Hey there, are you all right?”

“I'm fine. What's the matter with Ling?”

They looked at the ghost but she didn't look back. She didn't look at anything. Her eyes were vacant.

German had not seen Ben touch Ling earlier and take out of her what he needed. Nor had she seen the array of expressions on Ling's face while it happened: the electric twitch the moment she was touched; the furious resistance; the eyes screaming
No!
before drooping a moment later into acquiescence.

German thought Ling's strange passivity now was due to her being confused by everything going on. “She's okay. We're both just rattled . . .” She didn't know what else to say. The perfect winter morning in bed with Ben that she'd just been reexperiencing so completely was fading, although it still had a powerful hold on her. Now she felt the same kind of strong sweet sadness and longing that comes after good sex with someone you care about a great deal.

Pilot said, “Ben wants to see you two. He wants you both to come into Danielle's apartment.”

“All right.”

Pilot considered telling her about Ben not really being in that apartment, but decided not to. Let German see and make up her own mind about what to do next.

“Ling?” German touched the other woman on the elbow but there was no reaction. Ling just stood slumped, as though all the power inside her had been switched off. In time she looked at German, looked away, then walked down the hall and straight into Danielle's apartment.

Upon entering, she didn't react to the darkness. Closing the door behind her and locking it, she moved a few feet into the living room and stopped. “Ben? I'm here.”

“Ling? Great. Where's German?”

“She's coming. She's down the hall. I thought you'd want to talk to me first, though.” Her voice was a monotone, like a recording. It could have come from a cheap answering machine.

“Yes, you're right, I do want to talk to you.”

“I know what you want, so it's not necessary to mince your words.” Her dead tone was unsettling, especially in light of what she knew was about to happen to her.

He did not know how to respond. What could he say?

“It's not fair, Ben. There's nothing I can do to stop you, but I think it's totally unfair.”

“Okay. I hear you.”

Her voice roared back to life. “You
hear
me? That's not an answer. That's all you're going to say about this—‘
I hear you
'?”

“What do you want me to say, Ling?”

“How about ‘I'm sorry'? How about you know what you're about to do is really, totally wrong and you're sorry to be doing it? How about saying
that
, Ben?”

But there was no sorry in his voice when he answered. “I have to do it. There's no other way. I have to get out of this darkness and I don't know how. But you do.”

“You're right—I do. I knew as soon as you touched me before out in the hall that you were going to end up doing this. I
knew
it would happen. But what about me, Ben? What about what
I
want?”

“I thought it was going to be different, Ling. I swear to you. Before, I honestly believed I could just take part of you and leave the rest. But I can't. I know that now after seeing Danielle: I can't do what I need to do with only part of you. I need everything.”

“You need everything.” She tried to repeat his statement with both scorn and resentment, but her words came out sounding only wretched. Hers was the out-of-control, pathetic voice of a rejected lover or an employee who has just been fired.

German reached for the doorknob
to Danielle's apartment but discovered it would not turn. She tried again. Nothing. It wouldn't budge. “It's locked.”