The Good, the Bad & the Beagle (12 page)

“What a costume!” Mrs. Morgan said. “How did you do that? Do you mind if I stare?”

“No. That’s the idea. We
want
to be stared at,” Athena said.

Mrs. Morgan laughed and walked all the way around the two girls with her eyes and mouth wide.

Athena and Sarah-Lisa explained to Mrs. Morgan in too much detail how they had taken two large pairs of khakis and joined the two inside legs creating one three-legged pair. Veronica thought it was too perfect—a professional must have done it. She was fuming. Sarah-Lisa described the way they had put their inside arms around each other, while wrapping their torsos with a big Ace bandage until their upper bodies were united. Who cared! They went on to say how they put themselves inside the giant hooded sweatshirt and zipped it up the middle. As if that wasn’t obvious.

The toilet in the powder room flushed and Marvin Morgan appeared. Veronica thought she was going to break out in hives.

“Ah,” he said, beaming, “you must be Athena-Lisa?”

“That is so clever!” Athena declared. “That should be our new name, since we’re now officially one person. Let’s be Athena-Lisa.”

“Girls,” Mrs. Morgan said, possibly sensing Veronica’s distress, “come in the living room. We have one little thing we want to do before we let you out there to get candy.”

Melody, meanwhile, had been left alone with the dogs in the living room and was nearly in tears. Cadbury sat patiently at her feet and Fitzy quietly chewed on the hem of her dress.

“Fitzy! Leave it!” Veronica said and picked her up. She felt so bad for Melody.

“Wow, Melody! What a getup! You look so pretty,” Athena said.

“Where did you get that?” Sarah-Lisa asked.

“I borrowed it from the costume shop. It is from a production we did last year. I hope they won’t be mad your dog ate some of it?” she added nervously. Was Melody serious? Of course they would be mad.

“Oh my gosh! Is that Cadbury?” Athena cried. She ran over, pulling Sarah-Lisa behind. They banged, rather hard, into the coffee table. It seemed they were never going to remember they were attached. They burst into hysterical laughter yet again.

“Sarah-Lisa,” Athena said, “look at how cute the dogs are! Look at their charming costumes!”

Sarah-Lisa didn’t share Athena’s enthusiasm.

“Okay, gather round,” Mr. Morgan said. “We have a little Morgan tradition. I want to get a picture of you in your costumes before you go on your merry way.”

The instruction manual for this particular camera promised it was easy enough for a five-year-old to master, but the average five-year-old was a genius with technology compared to Mr. Morgan. The practice pictures he’d taken earlier of Cadbury had come out entirely black.

“When I was your age,” he said, squinting into the camera, “we had to wait a week for the drugstore to get the film developed, and now there isn’t even film. Okay, I have the lens thingy off. Let’s try this.”

Veronica found it incredible that her father had a job, considering he barely knew how to operate a camera, let alone a computer.

“Yep, I remember going to the drugstore and ripping open that envelope. I couldn’t wait to see those pictures. Now you get impatient waiting a few seconds for the image to download on the whosie. Incredible. Everything is so different. Absolutely incredible. All you have to do now is push a button and the entire universe is available.”

“It’s a new world, Marvin, for the people who know which button to push,” Veronica’s mother said.

“
Daddy
, take the picture already.” Veronica held the dogs tightly.

“One question before I shoot. You don’t want to make it a Jewish wedding, Veronica? Your mother and I could go with you and carry a little chuppah, Cadbury could break a glass?” her father asked. “I just don’t understand why the New Testament.”

“Would it make you feel better if she was holding an Old Testament?” her mother said. Veronica cringed.

“Yes,” her father said. “It would. I can’t help it.”

“You realize, Marvin, that for an atheist who hates religion, you make no sense,” her mother said. Veronica caught Athena and Sarah-Lisa smirking.

“I am a very complex person, what can I say?”

“
Daddy,
take the picture, please!”

“Okay, ready? Here goes. Where’s the whatsit?”

“Here, Marvin, push here,” Marion Morgan said as his finger fumbled at the buttons.

Veronica held her breath and prayed he would take the shot so they could all get out of there.

*   *   *

Sometimes people gave out crummy stuff like pretzels or cheap lollipops that weren’t even Tootsie Pops. But this year the candy was excellent and as apartment 12C’s door closed, Veronica happily put three mini Snickers in her bag. They got into the elevator, en route to their final floor.

Athena made kissy noises at Fitzy. Since eating Melody’s costume, Fitzy had been the picture of civility. She stood quietly next to Cadbury as if they were actually recently married.

“You know what? Those dogs are really cute,” Sarah-Lisa said.

Just like that, every bad thought Veronica had ever had about Sarah-Lisa flew away. She stood next to Sarah-Lisa Carver, beaming.

“I want to take pictures,” Sarah-Lisa said. “Veronica, you stand next to Fitzy? Melody, can you pick up Cadbury? Will someone take my picture with the dogs?” Veronica took the camera from Sarah-Lisa and snapped a few pictures. Sarah-Lisa let Cadbury lick her on the mouth. Athena egged her on and was in the picture too. This was as good as it could get. Veronica was thrilled.

“Are we moving?” Melody asked.

“Let me take some,” Athena said. She took the camera. Sarah-Lisa put her arm around Veronica and they posed for a three-way selfie.

“You guys,” Melody said, “I think the elevator is stuck.”

Veronica listened for the whoosh that meant air was moving through the elevator shaft. But she couldn’t hear anything over all the laughing from Sarah-Lisa and Athena.

“Shush, I’m trying to listen,” she said. There hadn’t been any jolt or bump or any noise to indicate there was a problem. But she’d been so lost in the picture taking and her new love for Sarah-Lisa she hadn’t been paying attention.

Melody began hyperventilating. Veronica tried to calculate how long it had been since the doors closed on the twelfth floor, but she couldn’t.

“Veronica, what kind of crazy elevator is this?” Sarah-Lisa said, frantically hitting buttons.

“Don’t hit the buttons. That might make it worse,” Veronica said. She had no idea if it would or not. But if she was an elevator, and she was stuck, she would not appreciate being hit and banged upon.

“I knew something exciting would happen on the bad-luck floor. We’re stuck on thirteen. It’s so romantic,” Athena said.

“What is romantic about dying on Halloween, Athena?” Sarah-Lisa said. “Melody, are you going to faint? Eat this piece of chocolate. Seriously, you look like you are going to pass out. It’s going to be okay. Right, Veronica?”

Veronica had no idea if everything was going to be okay and if Sarah-Lisa hadn’t just made her responsible for making everything okay, she probably would have been hysterical. But now that she was responsible she had to stay calm.

She picked up the red EMERGENCY telephone. It was Charlie. She was so happy to hear his voice. “I think the elevator is stuck,” Veronica said.

“Copy,” Charlie said. “All right. I see you on the control board, you’re on fourteen. I’m going to have to reboot the system. Do you see the button on the lower left panel? It looks like a hammer?”

“Yes,” Veronica said.

She looked at her friends, whose lives she was suddenly responsible for. She hoped she was up to the job. Mary always said something about faking it till you make it. She tried to exude a sense of authority, like she rebooted elevators all the time.

“Keep watching and tell me when it turns green.” Veronica’s pulse beat along with the flashing hammer. “Is it green?” Charlie asked. The button went dark like it had died. Veronica checked to see if she had died too. She was still breathing, but barely. Melody was white as a sheet.

“This is so fun!” Athena said. “Maybe we’ll have to sleep in here. Maybe we’ll have to miss school. Maybe they’ll call in a news crew.”

Veronica stared hard at the button. It was still unlit. She was afraid to blink in case she missed something. A symbol she hadn’t seen before appeared. “Charlie, it just changed. It’s green.”

“Wonderful. Hold it down at the same time as the reset button on the left. Use two hands if you can’t reach. Keep them down together and don’t let up until I tell you. I will tell you when to let go.”

“Okay,” Veronica said. She stretched her fingers so she could put her left thumb on the reset button and her index finger on the green button. She had small hands, but she did it.

“You scared?” Charlie asked.

“No,” Veronica lied.

“You’re doing great. Tell me when you feel motion.”

They waited for a jolt, for something that would indicate they weren’t stuck anymore. But they didn’t feel anything. “Nothing is happening, Charlie,” Veronica said, trying to hide her panic.

“Hang on,” Charlie said.

They were hanging on. But they didn’t have any water. And only so much oxygen. How long before they breathed up all the air in there? There were four of them, after all, plus dogs.

There was a rattle and a clank and a whoosh. The doors opened and they were on the twelfth floor.

“Yay! We are back on the twelfth floor, Charlie!” Veronica said. She couldn’t believe it, but it was true.

“Good girl, all should be fine now. Bring candy. Over.”

*   *   *

Veronica and Melody burst into the lobby raining candy on Charlie like confetti. Veronica made him take her one full-size Snickers and Melody tried to give him her whole bag.

“Help!” Athena screamed. Not only were she and Sarah-Lisa one person, they had to be one person who couldn’t function without making everyone look at them. “Does anyone have scissors? A nail file? I can’t stand it anymore! I have to get out of this costume,” she said.

Nothing would have made Veronica happier than producing a pair of scissors!

Athena and Sarah-Lisa attacked their costume like animals, using their nails and teeth until the zipper gave, exposing the bandage that held them together. They burst out of the elevator free and laughing hysterically.

*   *   *

The night was over and Cadbury was snoring quietly next to Veronica, but she couldn’t fall asleep. She should have been happy. She hadn’t died in the elevator. She’d gotten everyone out safely and hadn’t disappointed any of the people who had wanted to trick-or-treat with her.

But even though Sarah-Lisa and Athena’s twin costume had ripped at the seams, their friendship never would. She was destined to be the outsider. They made it look like there was room for other people, but Veronica knew she would never get inside.

End of Days

Thanksgiving was so delicious Veronica wished they could eat turkey basted with maple syrup and ancho pepper every day. She loved pouring her mother’s gravy over everything. Mary’s stuffing with apples and sausages was the best thing in the world. And why was pumpkin pie something people only had at Thanksgiving? The whole family and a few close friends feasted till their stomachs burst.

The following Saturday Veronica and her mother left early. They went to their favorite café on Lexington, had hot chocolate and croissants, window-shopped along Madison, and walked to Second Avenue to choose their Christmas tree from the same man who drove in from Vermont every year. This was their tradition.

A particularly scrawny tree called to them. It was a tree that was the underdog, a tree no one else would want. Taking turns, they dragged it home. By the time they reached Fifth Avenue, their hands were raw and covered in sticky sap. It was a perfect day except for the weather. Buying a Christmas tree in unseasonably warm sixty-seven-degree weather was not right. It should have been cold with at least a threat of snow.

“I can’t believe we had hot chocolate this morning!” Mrs. Morgan said. “I’m ready for iced tea now.”

“Or ice cream,” Veronica said, wiping sweat from her face.

“Ice cream! Maybe we’ll make egg creams when we get home. Hey, do you remember where I put the decorations last year?” her mother asked.

“The front closet?” Veronica guessed.

“Gosh, I hope not.” No one liked to go in the front closet, lest something fall on them. “I think maybe they’re in the back of the linen closet. Mary took out the stand yesterday, bless her.”

Charlie saw them coming down the block and ran to their aid. He picked up the tree and swung it over his shoulder.

“This is some tree,” he said, smiling. “Where is the rest of it?”

“You’ll see,” Mrs. Morgan said. “With a little attention, this tree will look wonderful.”

She brought the stand out to the living room and she and Veronica were busy struggling with the screws when Mr. Morgan walked in.

“What in the name of, Marion! Why? Why?”

“Marvin, please don’t start,” his wife said.

“What the hell is a nice Jewish family doing with a bloody Christmas tree?
I don’t understand!
”

“Because it smells good,” Mrs. Morgan replied. “And it’s pretty. Okay, Veronica, tighten your screw.”

Veronica did, and each turn filled the living room with more scent from their aromatic pine tree. When the trunk was secured they filled the bottom of the stand with water and stood back to admire their sweet, pathetic tree.

Cadbury approved by curling up underneath it.

“Daddy,” Veronica said. “What’s wrong with celebrating what makes you happy, regardless of what religion you are? Isn’t it like eating Sephardic charosis at Passover? We aren’t Sephardic, right? Plus, didn’t you tell the Lubavitchers on the street yesterday you weren’t Jewish? Because if you’re not Jewish, then who cares if we have a tree? And even if we are, who cares?”

Mrs. Morgan laughed. “You realize, Marvin, that you make absolutely no sense whatsoever.”

“Well, neither do you. With the shivas and the Christmas trees and the challah and the Christmas cookies.”