The Guardian (Callista Ryan Series) (42 page)

             
“Callista, I’m afraid that your vote is valueless in this circumstance,” Emeric said. She looked at him again. His face was cool and reasonable; he was giving her the politician’s spiel. But there was also an element of relief to his features that she couldn’t understand.

             
She didn’t know how to convince them, what to say to change their minds. The fact was, when she had first come to the canopy, this was exactly what she had wanted. But now that she had been here, had made friends, had fallen in love…it felt like they were banishing her. Her whole life had changed while she was here. She hadn’t been a hermit. She had become brave. And now they were taking that life away from her.

             
“Alex,” she said a third time, though now her voice was pleading. “Please. Don’t do this.”

             
When he heard the ache in her words, his head slowly turned to her. For the briefest second, she could see her own pain reflected on his face, she could see the same hopelessness and frustration. He hated himself in that moment.

             
But then the expression disappeared behind the emotionless mask once again, and he returned his attention to the fire. And that was when she knew that there was nothing she
could
say to change their minds. She had to go back.

             
As she closed her eyes, she drew a shaky breath, and bit down on the inside of her cheek. When she opened her eyes again, Zeke and Emeric were watching her warily. But all she could do was nod.

             
“Okay,” she said, admitting defeat. “I’ll go.”

             
Zeke raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Just like that?” he asked.

             
“If I’m not needed here, then I’ll go,” she said. “After all, that’s all I was here for, right?” Her gaze drifted towards Alex as she continued, “It was all just a job, after all.”

             
“I am glad that this will not be difficult,” Emeric said. “I suppose that Alexander will want to fly you home?”

             
Alex turned to Emeric, taking a breath to speak, but Callie cut in. “No. I don’t want Alex to take me. Shay?” she asked, turning to the Healer.

             
Shay shook her head slightly, her irritation having faded in the face of such tension. She saw the unsteady look on Callie’s face, and hurried to explain. “I would, Callie, but I’m right on the brink of a significant breakthrough, and—“
              Callie didn’t make her finish, saying, “Right, of course.” She turned to Zeke, silently asking that he do it.

             
Zeke nodded at Emeric. “I can take her,” he said softly.

             
Emeric glanced at Alex. “Well?” he asked.

             
Alex was watching Callie, though, his full attention trained on her. She felt it, felt him imploring her to look at him, but she kept her eyes on Zeke. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alex finally nod.

             
“Then it is settled. You two will leave tomorrow morning,” Emeric said. “Zeke, when you are through with this mission, return immediately. I trust that word will quickly spread of the girl’s departure. An attack may be nearer than we presently believe.”

             
Zeke hesitated, glancing at Alex, and Callie knew that he was afraid of upsetting his friend. But Alex didn’t make any motion to protest, and so Zeke said quietly, “Alright.”

             
“Callista, tonight you will sleep at the Healer’s home. Shay, I understand that your cottage is a bit unwelcoming at the present; go and make a space for our guest. Alex, Zeke, you two may leave as well. I will bring the girl to Shay’s cottage in a short time, once a place has been cleared for her,” Emeric said, taking matters into his hands.

             
“Wait.”

             
All eyes turned to Alex, who had finally spoken. Even Callie looked at him, though she felt her pulse kick at the sight of such sadness. Alex’s eyes were no longer empty. They were desperate, and as he strode quickly towards them, she saw that he was shaking.

             
“Callie, you know why I have to do this,” he said, his words flowing low and fast. “I’m not doing this because of anything you did. I know you’re not helpless. But I couldn’t live with myself if I brought you into the battle which would kill you.”

             
She looked away, uninterested in his apology. She knew that later, when she thought about his reasons, she would understand and forgive him. But she didn’t want to forgive him yet; she was still too angry.

             
“I have seen greater men die, Callie, in much more forgiving situations. You don’t know just how breakable you are to these women. Killing you would be their first priority, do you understand? They don’t see you as a person, they see you as a threat.”

             
His words were logical and reasonable, but she didn’t want to hear war strategy. And he knew it.

             
“You were never just a job,” he whispered. “Not to me.”

             
And then, knowing that his time was up, Alex leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, lingering there for a long while. The others in the room looked away out of respect; Callie looked away out of fury and heartache. She really wasn’t any different from Adeline. He was throwing her out just the same.

             
They left then, both men, and then Shay. Callie shook her head, warding off the sting of rejection that she knew was irrational, and walked over to Emeric’s sofa. She sat down and ran a shaky hand across her eyes, hoping that tomorrow she could wake up and find that today was just a dream.

             
Emeric quietly perched on the chair across from hers, and offered her a small smile. In a light tone, meant to make her laugh, he said, “Well, look at the situation this way: You are getting what you’ve wanted since you first came to this forest. You should be happy.”

             
Callie laughed in a humorless bark. “Ecstatic,” she agreed.

             
“Maybe this is for the best,” Emeric said. “This battle will be very dangerous.”

             
“That’s why I wanted to stay,” Callie admitted, looking into the fire. The flames danced and leapt and yearned to be free from that burning pit; at that moment, she understood exactly what it felt like to burn. Hopeless.

             
“You seek the glory of war so much?” Emeric asked, surprised.

             
“No,” she said softly. “Aside from my personal reasons for wanting to stay, I want to help you. You have all become…well, if not family, then certainly my friends. People here matter too much to me now. You wouldn’t turn your back on your friends, would you?”

             
He grinned, but the expression was harsh. “Brothers have fought against each other in wars for millennia. Nothing is sacred in this world.”

             
She was taken aback for a moment at the cruel words. “You don’t really believe that, though,” she realized.

             
“Don’t I?” he asked.

             
She shook her head, and tried to explain. “You know, you had me fooled the first time I saw you. I really took you at your word when you played the villain. But you screwed up. You made sure that I stayed with a woman who has become my friend, weird as she may be, and that I was comfortable. When I was hurt that day, after I’d been on the island, you stayed with me all night. And now, you sit here talking to me when you can see I’m upset. Villains don’t do that, Emeric.”

             
His expression was icy and polite as he sat back in his chair. “Perhaps I have just been protecting a valuable weapon,” he suggested.

             
“No,” Callie said, ignoring his attempt to dehumanize her in order to prove himself the bad guy. “Because I’m not a weapon anymore. But you’re still here. You care about people. And regardless of the façade, I know that
you
wouldn’t turn your back on your friends. I don’t understand why you’re forcing me to do just that.”

             
Emeric frowned, the chilly civility draining from his face. “You will be safer this way,” he said seriously.

             
“Maybe,” she agreed. “But I’ll be worried and angry and upset. Is that any better?”

             
He hesitated, and then suddenly sat forward, propping his elbows onto his knees. “You need not be sad,” he said, his voice gentle, pleading, as though the thought of such emotion worried him. “Just forget about what you have seen here. The sooner you do that, the happier you will be.”

             
“Emeric,” she said, tipping her head to the side in disagreement and leaning forward to match his stance. “You aren’t listening. People here have come to matter to me.
You
have begun to matter to me. A person can’t just…forget that, especially when they know the people they care for are going into a warzone.”

             
But Callie didn’t think Emeric had even heard the last half of that, because somewhere in the middle of what she’d been saying, his eyes had snapped shut. He seemed to be struggling for control, and for a moment his face was contorted, his posture frozen.

             
“Emeric?” she asked.

             
His eyes flew open, icy grey and bloodless, though they were heated now by an unnamed passion. He seemed almost furious in that second, and Callie felt trapped by the fiery gaze. “What kind of woman are you,” he hissed, “that you are such an expert at manipulation?”

             
She blinked. “Does…does that mean you’ll let me stay?” she asked finally, stuttering on her words.

             
He laughed angrily, the sound severe and hard. “No,” he spat. “I won’t let you stay. Alexander is right, you’ll be killed in the first five minutes. I’ve always known that. What I don’t understand is how it has come to
matter
. You’re a human. You shouldn’t matter!”

             
Callie felt the blood drain from her face. “You’ve always known I was going to die?” she asked, swallowing.

             
“Well, not always,” he said. He spoke not with cold graciousness now, but with smooth fury. “But for the past weeks, ever since I learned what happened on that island…yes. I’ve known.”

             
“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, aghast.

             
He shrugged and sat back again. “I had been debating letting you die, actually,” he said evenly, his eyes glinting and harsh. “You could have been useful in what little time you served for. You see, Callista, I truly am the villain of this story.”

             
She took a moment to catch her breath, trying to make sense of his words. Finally, she shook her head.

             
“No,” she said. Meeting his gaze evenly, she said, “You aren’t willing to let me die now. Even knowing that I could help, you’re making me leave. Even though I want to stay, you’re siding with Alex. I’m not manipulative, Emeric; if I were, I would be staying tomorrow. You’re not the villain. You care about people.”

             
His face turned sour, his eyes narrowed into grey slits. For a moment, he looked ferocious in his irritation. “You know nothing about me,” he said, so gently that the words were terrifying.

             
“Maybe not,” Callie said. “Because what if I did? It would mean you actually had a heart.”

             
The fire popped in the background as the two settled into a stony silence. Emeric regarded Callie with a cool glare that was usually reserved for strangers and enemies. Callie returned his scowl with a calm face, not really caring if he was angry with her. She knew that she was right. Furthermore, she wanted him to be angry. She wanted people to start showing emotions, performing actions, that actually made sense. She didn’t mind spreading her misery.

             
But something made her pause in her petty thoughts. Something there, behind the silver glimmer and the frustration, there was something more concerning in Emeric’s eyes. Something she hadn’t seen there before. It was…longing. Callie felt her heart sink a little. He was wishing, she realized, that it were true. He wanted to believe her.

             
She stood, not wanting to feel sorry for him, and sighed. “Maybe you should take me to Shay’s,” she said.

             
She walked to the door, only looking back once she was standing in the frame. Emeric was watching her with pensive calculation. He stood slowly, and walked towards her. When he was right next to her, he reached out the fraction of an inch which separated them. He lightly took hold of her arm, his palm softly sliding down her skin, until he reached her wrist. She shivered beneath the soft, cool touch.