The Gunslinger's Gift (3 page)

“Absolutely,”
he spoke in a rush. Lowering his head, he brushed his lips to her cheeks, first
on one side then the other. Slowly, he worked his way to her mouth. Then, he
kissed her, really kissed her, teasing the seam open and stroking his tongue
over hers as he drew her impossibly closer to his body.

Sophia
had never experienced anything like this before. The kiss had her whole body
going tight, and then loose, all at once. She kissed him back with desperation
and desire, her arms moving to wrap around his neck instead of his waist and
pulling him closer. When he nipped her lower lip with his teeth, she gasped
then moaned. She could feel the liquid between her thighs, eager for him to
show her so much more.

When
they parted, she was panting. “James. Please don’t let me be dreaming.”

“You’re
not dreaming. If you are, then so am I,” he assured her. He brushed a light
kiss over her lips again and drew back a little more. “Sophia, please stay. I
don’t think I could survive if you left. Not now. I have so much to make up for
with you, and I shouldn’t be asking it of you, but I have to. Stay.” He was
practically begging.

“Okay.”
She easily gave in. “But only if we can start fresh. No need to beat yourself
up over what can’t be changed. Let’s simply enjoy our time with each other.”
She just wanted to forget the last two, horrible weeks. “I’ll stay, but if
anything changes and you can’t bear to remain with me, tell me?”

James
cupped her face and held her as he leaned his forehead to hers. “I can’t bear
to be
without
you, Sophia,” he said,
quietly. “We can definitely start fresh. I’m willing to let the past go if you
are. Why you
are
, I’m not even going
to question. I’m feeling too damn lucky right now. So, one last time, just for
my own conscience—I’m so, so damn sorry for how I’ve acted and how I’ve made
you feel as a result of my own selfishness and stupidity.” Pressing another
kiss to her mouth, he pulled her into a tight hug.

Sophia
hugged him back. She licked her lips and looked up at him. “I’ve never done a
relationship before, so what happens next? Where do we go from here? I don’t
want to leave you. I don’t want to let you go.” She was counting on him to show
her the way. She trusted him to keep her safe.

“Now,
we get to know one another. I’ve never really had a relationship either, honey.
We’re going to have to muddle through it together. We’ll screw it up, we’ll
make a mess of it, but that’s okay, because it’s us. As long as we talk to one
another and stay open with each other, I think we’ll be okay in the long run,”
he told her.

“I like
that idea. I think we’ll work well together. Just no more hurting me, okay? No
going to another female instead of me when you should be?”

“There’s
no one I’d rather turn to than you, Sophia.” The wind was picking up enough to
make her shiver. Something he noticed. “Come on inside with me, please. We can
go somewhere and just talk. Because I really want to get to know you better.”

“I’d
like that.” She grinned. “We could go to my room or to yours. I know you won’t
ask me to do anything I don’t already want to do. Yours might be best, since
mine is very close to Vivian’s, and she’ll come check on me early in the
morning.”

“All
right,” he said. Keeping an arm around her, he walked with her back inside the
compound. He led her through the many corridors and down to his suite. Letting
her in, he followed, turning on the lights. “Did you want something to drink?”
He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up.

“A
bottle of water, if you wouldn’t mind.” She looked around. The room fit him,
perfectly. “This room is so you. It’s masculine, yet soft. I like it a great
deal more than my own.” Turning, she gazed at him and asked, “Can I sleep with
you tonight?”

He
paused mid-step for a moment before continuing toward her. He held one of the
bottles of water out to her. “If you want to, sure,” he answered, in a cautious
tone. “Sophia, you do know I won’t push you into anything, right? You’re always
welcome here, close to me, as close as you want to be, really. But it all has
to be up to you. So, if you wish to be here tonight, tomorrow, and every day
after…absolutely. As long as it’s what you want, honey.”

“I want
to stay with you. I want a life with you, James.”

“All
right, then.” He grinned. “Grab a seat.” He walked with her to the sofa and sat
down once she was sitting. He gave her a bit of space, but not too much.
Letting her choose if she wanted to be closer or to keep the distance, she
figured.

When he
was settled, Sophia curled up against his side, adjusting his arm so that it
was wrapped around her. With her head on his shoulder, she smiled. “There, this
is much better,” she told him happily. “When we’re together, please never hold
back from touching me?” God only knew that when she had first met him, she had
touched him a great deal. Granted, it had wigged him out.

“I can
do that.” Pulling her a little closer, he pressed a kiss to her temple. “Tell
me about yourself, Sophia. I want to know everything and anything you care to
share with me.”

“My
mother died giving birth to me,” she began bluntly. “I guess that life was just
not meant to be for her, not with two daughters and the monster that was my
dad.” She shivered.

“I
clearly recall the first time he beat me. I was two, and Viv was five. She was
able to shield herself pretty much from moment one.” Sophia rubbed her cheek to
James’ chest, taking comfort from him. “Because he couldn’t get to Viv, he
grabbed me and smacked me. Told me that unless she dropped the shield and came
to him, he would be forced to beat me. Said he didn’t want to, because I wasn’t
the one he wanted to hurt.”

Which was
only the start of her coming in second place. It was always someone else that
everyone wanted, not her. Instead, they would use her to get to whomever it was
they really wanted.

“I used
to have really curly black hair. I guess I looked just like our mother.” She
touched her too-sensitive scalp. “He set it on fire when I was five. That’s
when we were taken from him. They realized as I was in ICU just how abused I’d
been.” She shrugged.

“I was
always second best. I had a guy date me once, not because he liked me or wanted
to be with me, but because he wanted to get close to Vivian. Not that I blame
him. She’s beautiful and outgoing and doesn’t have a shy bone in her body, and
I’m not any of those things.” Even to James, she had been second place, and she
knew it.

“Damn,”
he breathed out. He set his bottle of water aside and moved her into his lap,
his arms wrapping around her. “Then I go and be a complete asshole, reinforcing
it all again for you. No, don’t even pretend to deny it. I hear it in your
voice. Shit, Sophia. I’m amazed you didn’t kick me to the curb from the word
go
. You should have, honey. Why you
stuck it out as long as you did, I’ll never know.

“I’m
eternally glad you gave me half a chance to get my head out of my ass, but I’ll
never understand it. You’re gorgeous, smart, talented, and the sweetest person
I’ve ever met. And don’t you dare say you don’t have a backbone. You were
giving me grief that night just fine, so I know you’ve got some serious iron
running down that spine of yours.”

Fia blushed
and pressed her face into the curve of James’s shoulder. “How could I not stick
it out?” she asked finally and pulled back to look at him. “You’re the only
reason I survived childhood. When I was being beaten, I would have flashes of
your life, the things you were doing, and I would feel your loneliness even
though you were surrounded by others. I knew I had to live, had to survive for
you. You saved me and didn’t even know it.

“I have
to admit to you, however, I don’t like being second best. I hate it,” she
whispered.

“You’re
number one in my life,” he assured her, softly. “You’re the only reason I won’t
fall to the dark. Sophia, you’re everything. The light that will keep me from
the darkness, the hope that will keep me going, and the goodness to counteract
my less-than-pure tendencies. You hold everything inside of you that is pure,
right, and good. Hell, you’re damn well too good for the likes of me, but I’m
never, ever letting you go. The Fates, Gods, whoever, chose you as mine, and
I’m keeping you. Period.”

Fia was
perfectly fine with that. She smiled and moved to touch her fingers to his
cheeks. “Good. Whoever put me with you knew what they were doing, and I’m very
happy that they did.” She leaned in and brushed her lips to his very lightly.
“And when my paintings come here, you’ll see just how much of your life I’ve
lived.

“They’re
scenes from your memories or past or whatever it is. I did them to keep myself
sane and not give in to the pain and the desire to just slip away forever.”

“Now,
I’m really not sure I want to see them.” James made a face. “I didn’t exactly
have a pillar-of-the-earth sort of life. Hell, I didn’t even have a good one
until I came to the Guardians. Even then, it was a little sketchy for a time.
Wait…” He lifted his head and sent her a narrow-eyed look. “Are there any of me
naked?”

She
shook her head. “I painted what I saw through your eyes. The horses, the towns,
your guns, fields of flowers. Things like that.” She had refused to paint the
numerous naked women that had invaded her psyche until she had learned how to
tune them out. “And you lived in a pure time, a time before Mother Earth began
being abused and stripped of her beauty.”

“So,
there are none of me personally?” he asked, his tone curious. “I’m trying to
think of when you might have seen me, and beyond looking in a mirror after a
shave for a few moments, I can’t think of any other times.”

“There
are many portraits of you,” she admitted, with a blush staining her cheeks.
“Charcoals, pencils, every medium I could think of. You fascinated me.
Everything about you always has. That’s why I knew who you were the second I
saw you. Only, to me, you were Billy, not James.”

“I
rarely used my given name,” he said. “After I was brought into the Guardians, I
distanced myself from my Wild Bill days as much as I could. Thankfully, they
had me in training for a number of years, so the so-called legend died off on
its own. Except for those damn dime novels.” Huffing out a breath, he watched
her and shrugged. “You can call me whatever you want to, though I warn you,
I’ve been untrained to answer to Billy for a while now, so it’s going to take
me a bit to get used to it again.”

“That’s
okay. I’ve grown used to calling you James.” She would miss Billy, but that was
the past and James, her James, was the future. “I might slip and call you Billy
from time to time, but I’ll do whatever I can.”

“I
don’t mind hearing it from your lips. You may need to smack me if I’m ignoring
you when you use it, though,” he said, with a grin. Leaning in, he kissed her
cheek and hugged her close. Sighing, he drew back slightly and looked at the
clock. “Don’t know about you, but I think I’m ready for some sleep. I haven’t
been sleeping well since we got back. The friction between us has been messing
me up. If you want to watch TV or a movie, go right ahead. After growing up in
a time when gunfire was commonplace, not a hell of a lot can wake me up.”

“No,
thank you. I’d like sleep, as well. I haven’t slept well in far too long.” She
moved so that she was standing before him. “Do you have a shirt you can loan
me? I’d like to get cleaned up, but I don’t want to leave you.”

“Definitely.”
Getting up, he put a hand on her back and guided her down the wide hallway to a
door. Pushing it open, he urged her inside then hit a light so she could see
the bedroom. He moved around her to a dresser where he pulled out a long,
button up shirt. “Bathroom is right through there. Towels are on the shelf and
anything else should be in the vanity. I’ll just turn the lights off in the outer
room then come back to wait on you.”

“Okay.”
She held the shirt in her hand and chewed her lower lip. Then, she stared up at
him and grinned. “Are you going to take your weapons and put them outside of
the bed? I would like to sleep with you without a gun in bed with us.” She
hoped that wasn’t asking for too much.

“Uh,
right, yeah.” He smiled at her in a sheepish manner. “I guess I should move a
few of them. Sorry, it’s an old habit I’ve never been fully able to kick.” He
went to the door and paused, turning to look at her. “Did your sister tell you
about the greeting she got when she and Jason showed up at the house that
morning?” he asked in a curious, yet very cautious tone.

“Other
than Vi giving me heck because I was sleeping with you?”

He made
a face, wrinkling his nose up and huffed out a breath. “I may have quite
possibly, with a high degree of accuracy, pulled a gun on her. I just reacted
to a noise in the place that shouldn’t have been there. But I identified her
right off and didn’t even have my finger on the trigger. I think she may have
dropped a load in her shorts, though, given the look on her face.”

“Fabulous.”
Fi giggled. “How mad was Jason that you pulled a weapon on his woman?” She
paused and watched him. “I don’t do weapons well at all. And I dislike fire
even more.” Which he would know, because of the way that she’d had a fit when
he’d started a fire in the fireplace on the Island.