The Heartbreak Cafe (24 page)

‘
You know Ruth, you were always good with
surprises.’

She
looked at him, ashamed. ‘Look, I know I shouldn’t have let you kiss
me and I certainly shouldn’t have kissed you back. That was
crazy.’

‘
That much we can agree on.’

‘
And with all that’s happened lately, I’m sure you probably
think I’m some kind of slut or something,’ she said, herself
feeling somewhat cheap and common at that moment. ‘But for what’s
it worth, I’d like you to know that up until that night with Troy,
which I agree was a mistake and it wouldn’t have happened if we
hadn’t had so much champagne…’ she said, realising she was
babbling. ‘My point being that, up until that night, I hadn’t slept
with anyone in a long time. As a matter of fact, I’m probably the
least slutty woman in Hollywood. This was all just one big
mistake.’

‘
But one that will steadily progress all the same.’

She
nodded defiantly. ‘Yes, and I’m just going to have to live with
it.’

Charlie
stopped pacing and sat back down on the chair next to her. ‘I just
don’t know what to do here Ruth, I can’t say I’ve ever been in this
situation before.’

‘
What situation? You don’t owe me anything – you can get up and
walk out that door the same way you walked in.’

‘
You’re right, I could and truthfully, when you first told me
about this, I almost did. But –’ He shook his head. ‘He really told
you he wanted nothing to do with it?’

‘
Yes, he did.’

‘
You’re not lying.’

She
looked at him, stung. ‘Charlie, I may be a lot of things, but I
have never been a liar.’

‘
No, no, I know that; it’s just I …’ his voice trailed off. ‘I
just don’t know what my next move should be. I still care about you
Ruth; I can’t deny that. And before this I was wondering if we
might be able to put the past behind us and maybe .…’

Ruth put
her head down, and found she couldn’t even summon tears, she was
all cried out. The way Charlie was putting it; it felt like she was
damaged goods.

‘
You know, there was a time when I thought we would have kids
together,’ he said softly.

She
looked at him. ‘Really?’

‘
Yes.’

Ruth put
her head in her hands. ‘Oh this is all such a mess. I don’t know
what to do, if I’m making the right decision …what it’ll do to my
career…’

Charlie
took her hand. ‘I don’t think now is the time to be second guessing
yourself, regardless of your career or what I’m telling you.
Honestly, I think you might have spoken from the heart when you
were on the phone with …him.’

Ruth
hadn’t considered that, that maybe this time she had made the right
decision. She had made so many bad ones as of late, she didn’t know
if she was even capable of a good one.

‘
Charlie, I’m really sorry … for everything.’

He nodded
and patted her hand. ‘I suppose I should go.’

‘
That’s probably best.’

He stood
up and placed a light kiss on her cheek. ‘Regardless of what you
might be thinking right now, I know you will be a fantastic
mother.’

She
smiled sadly. ‘I’m glad one of us does. Any child of mine will
probably have hooves.’

Charlie
chuckled. ‘Possibly, but it’s also going to have a very special
person for a mum, so it won’t be all bad. Bye Ruth.’

‘
Bye.’

Ruth
stayed motionless on the chair as she watched him leave the room.
Once he was gone it felt as if all of the air had been sucked out
of it.

Could she
really do this? she thought, staring at her midriff. No one wanted
her, Troy didn’t want her and after what he’d learned just now,
Charlie certainly wouldn’t either. She patted her belly. It would
just be her and her baby. Whatever happened, she would just have to
live with it.

Suddenly,
Hollywood felt a million miles away. It was as if over the course
of a few short hours her priorities had suddenly shifted, and she
felt almost like a completely different person. The things that had
been so important up to now, things that held so much glitter and
excitement seemed to have faded.

And Ruth
didn’t have the faintest idea what to expect next.

Nina
never made it to Ruth’s house in the end. As she was on her way
into town, Ruth called and explained that she wasn’t feeling well
and needed to lie down for a while, and could they do it some other
time?

Nina
thought she sounded upset, like she’d been crying, but when she’d
enquired as to whether she was OK; Ruth assured her she was
fine.

It was no
business of Nina’s and she didn’t want to push it, but again she
wondered if there had been another newspaper rumour or suchlike.
She didn’t know how Ruth put up with such intrusions and knew she
would go insane if she had to live a life like that. As it was she
found it hard enough putting up with this morning’s intrusion by
her dad. Not that it could be called that really; but there was no
doubt that he’d had some kind of reaction to her appearance. And
such reactions were rare from her father, particularly when growing
up she used to go out of her way to try and get his
attention.

She was
so busy pondering this thought while walking down Main Street that
she almost collided with the person going in the other
direction.

‘
Whoa, slow down there,’ the person joked and Nina looked up to
find that it was Dave, the guy she and Trish had met at Ruth’s
homecoming party a few weeks before.

‘
Oh …hi. Sorry about that, I was miles away.’

‘
You sure were.’ Nina couldn’t help notice how his eyes
crinkled at the corners when he smiled, which he was doing now.
‘Nina isn’t it? I see you’re still here then.’

‘
Still here?’

‘
Yes. I thought you said you were only planning on visiting
your father for a little while.’

‘
That’s right.’ She shrugged. ‘I suppose the time just sort of
slips away before you know it. Anyway, I’m enjoying spending time
here, and I got a job … at Ella’s.’ Nina wasn’t sure why she was
giving him so much information, particularly as she barely even
knew him, but there was something about Dave that made her want to
keep talking to him.

Which was
crazy considering.

‘
At the café? I didn’t know that.’

And what
would it matter if you did? Nina wondered. ‘Just part-time,
whenever Ella needs me.’

‘
I know where to go if I fancy a doughnut then,’ he grinned and
Nina coloured, sure he was flirting with her.

‘
Yes, certainly,’ she mumbled, unsure how to feel.

‘
Well, I’d better get going. I was just on my way back to the
office,’ he told her and Nina recalled how he’d mentioned something
before about being involved with the local brewery. ‘See you around
Nina.’ With that he flashed a smile that immediately made her
insides feel weak.

Or was
that the baby making his or her protests?

‘
Sure, bye now.’ Shaking her head, Nina continued across town
and back towards her father’s house. What was she doing, having
those kinds of thoughts about some guy she’d only met once or
twice? There was no denying that Dave was extremely good-looking
and seemed very nice, but at the end of the day didn’t she have
enough to be going with on at the moment, rather than making eyes
at one of the locals? Anyway after Steve, she’d had more than
enough of men and their carry-on …

Approaching the house, she hoped against hope that Patrick
had since gone out and that she wouldn’t have to face trying to
avoid him for the rest of the day – or worse actually have to face
him.

She
climbed the steps and put a tentative hand on the door handle,
willing it to be locked. If it was locked, Patrick wouldn’t be
here. Her fingers tightened on it and she twisted it, hoping she
would find resistance but it started to turn, which meant that he
was still home. Oh well…

Nina
didn’t know why she’d thought any different; it wasn’t as if
Patrick actually went anywhere – other than out to collect more of
those TV relics.

Stepping
inside, she went straight into the living room to find her father
sitting there alone, staring at her. Immediately she felt uneasy –
it was almost as if he’d been waiting for her.

She tried
to sound casual. ‘Hey Dad, what’s up? Nothing to work on
today?’

Patrick
said nothing for a while, until finally his eyes locked on hers,
something that was hugely disconcerting as typically her father had
trouble meeting anyone’s gaze. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.
‘Do you have something to tell me, Nina?’ he asked
evenly.

Her heart
began to pound. ‘What? What do you mean?’

Patrick
started to fidget; it was clear that he was finding it just as
uncomfortable as she was. ‘Are you having a baby?’ he asked then,
and Nina wasn’t sure if it was the directness of the question or
the tone behind it that shocked her. He sounded furious.

‘
What … what do you mean?’ Nina wasn’t sure why but all of a
sudden she was terrified. She didn’t think she’d ever seen her
father so calm and controlled, especially when he was always so
restless and fidgety. It was hugely disconcerting.

‘
You’re the same as your mother.’

‘
What?’ Her mind raced - the mention of her mother was the last
thing she expected. And what the hell was that supposed to
mean?

‘
I don’t know what you – ‘

‘
You’re having a baby,’ he stated flatly, all the while
kneading his fists in what Nina realised was barely controlled
fury. But why was he so angry? What business was it of his? OK, so
she might be living under his roof but it wasn’t as if she expected
anything from him….

‘
Dad, I –’

‘
This is not good,’ he muttered, almost under his breath. ‘Not
good.’

The cold,
almost callous way he was talking about it put Nina on the
defensive.

‘
What business is it of yours?’ she challenged, tears springing
to her eyes, but she made an internal vow that she would not allow
him see her cry.

‘
It’s a big mistake, a big mistake. Just like your mother,’ he
continued and all of a sudden Nina realised what he was saying. The
mistake he was referring to … was it hers, or actually her? Was she
herself the mistake that Patrick and Cathy had made way back
when?

If so, it
certainly explained a hell of lot with regard to how they’d ended
up together. Back in those days, an accidental pregnancy would have
generated huge pressure on the parents to make things right by
marrying. Which explained why her lovely, fun-loving mum had got
stuck with a man who was almost her complete opposite.

Yes that
had to be it, Nina thought, and although the realisation was
troubling, she decided it wasn’t all that much of a surprise. It
made sense. But why hadn’t Cathy said anything? Shotgun marriages
were two-a-penny in those days and it wasn’t as though her mother
had remained stuck in loveless marriage. Nina would have
understood, of course she would and there was certainly no reason
for anyone to feel ashamed.

Still,
whether she was technically illegitimate or not, Nina was still
Patrick’s daughter and perhaps she owed him an
explanation.

‘
You’re right, it is a mistake and honestly, I’m still not sure
what to do about it.’ She decided to try and appeal to his better
nature. ‘I was going to tell you but I needed some time … to think
about it. And Mum doesn’t know yet so please don’t tell her.’ This
was highly unlikely as to the best of her knowledge her parents
were barely in contact and it wasn’t as if he would be able to
track Cathy down in the wilds of China. Still she wanted to be
sure.

‘
This is why you’re here.’ It was a statement more than a
question, as if it was something he’d been puzzling
over.

‘
In Lakeview? Yes. The baby’s father and I…well, we split up.
He’s not going to have anything to do with it.’

‘
Well you can’t keep it here,’ he said coldly, as if he hadn’t
even heard her admission.

‘
I wasn’t planning to,’ Nina said, wounded by his callousness.
‘As I said, I needed some time to think about this, and I had
nowhere else to go. It’s not due for a fair few months yet so don’t
worry, I’ll make sure I’m long gone by then.’

Patrick
nodded. ‘That’s good.’ And with that, he stood up and walked out of
the room, leaving Nina feeling like something he’d just cleaned off
the bottom of his shoe.

Outraged,
she followed him out into the hallway.

‘
That’s good’? Is that all you have to say?’ she cried, hurt by
his indifference to her feelings. Is this how he’d treated her
mother, like some kind of worthless tramp? ‘I’m your daughter, for
Christ sake, and I’m going through a tough time at the moment. OK
so maybe I should have told you from the start but this is hard
Dad, can’t you see that?’

Patrick
just stood there fidgeting. ‘You shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in
vain,’ he replied finally and Nina’s mouth dropped open. After
everything she’d just said … that was all he was worried about? And
when did he get so pious all of a sudden?