The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (36 page)

Chapter Fifteen

Nico

I straighten my tie in the mirror. We’re going to our father’s service today and meeting our half-brother and sister. My mom’s the one that pushed for us to do this. She seems to think this will give us the closure that we never got with our dad before.

As far as I’m concerned, I don’t need closure. He didn’t contact us for the last sixteen or so years. Why should we even think he’d care that we were at his funeral? I’m going purely as support for my mom and sisters.

It’s only been two days since Jill and Nicola left, and I miss them terribly already. Today’s been worse since I want nothing more than to have my family with me while I do this. I’d feel a lot stronger about this if they were here.

I take a deep breath while grabbing my suit jacket and putting it on. I check myself one more time before heading downstairs. I find Gaia sitting at the dining room table, staring off into space. She looks so beautiful. My baby sister’s dark hair is in a bun at the base of her skull, and her black wrap dress shows off her pretty figure. Her makeup is light and natural, but it highlights her eyes, which are similar to mine in shape and color.

I sit down across from her and grab her hand. “How are you holding up, sweetheart?”

“I’m okay. I just don’t know if I’m ready for all of this. Does that make me sound like a wimp?”

She looks at me, her eyes glassy and her mouth turned down into a frown. The expression on her face reminds me of when she was a little girl and something really upset her. She was a total daddy’s girl. She was thirteen when everything went down. Gaia turned into a rebellious monster for a while afterward, but luckily, it didn’t last long.

“No, it doesn’t make you a wimp. I don’t think any of us are ready for this, but Mom wants us to go, so we need to be strong for her.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You look good, by the way.”

I smile and thank her when I hear my phone chime. I pull it out of my pocket and see a text from Jill.

Jill: Hey baby, I’m thinking of all of you today. I love you.

Nico: Thanks. Love you too.

I know I should’ve said more. We haven’t talked much since she and Nicola left, but with everything going on here, I just haven’t had a chance. I’ve missed them like crazy, though, and knowing how far away they are kills me.

Jill: Call me later?

Before I can respond, my mom enters the room. I stand up and go to her. “You look beautiful, Mom.” She cups my cheek and smiles up at me.

“Thank you, my beautiful boy.”

She kisses my cheek and then moves to Gaia. I go into the kitchen and pour coffee for all of us then carry it out on a tray. We’re all quiet while we drink our coffee. My thoughts drift to the last time I saw my father.

My mom hasn’t stopped crying since we found out that my dad was sleeping with my wife and had been for six years. The worst part? They’re even having a baby, a baby that, up until a few weeks ago, I thought was mine.

When my father called and said he needed to get some stuff from my mom’s and to bring her the divorce papers, I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but Mom said to let him get his stuff and let her sign the papers. Then, he’d be out of our lives.

My poor sisters are hurting so bad right now. Gaia is still confused about everything and is asking a lot of questions, but we’ve tried to shield her the best we can. Mila is just angry, like mom and me. Mila threatened to kill Ava. I had to talk her down. Luckily, Mila is already back in school, and so is Gaia.

I’m just coming down from my old room when I hear the front door open.

“Hello?”

I hear my father’s voice and come bounding down the stairs. “You don’t get to just walk in here anymore. This is no longer your home.”

“Nico, you need to calm down. I’ll be out of your hair in just a few minutes. Where’s your mother?”

“I’m right here, Lorenzo.” My mom is dragging two large bags behind her. “Here’s your stuff. Where are the papers?”

My father pulls the papers out of his back pocket. He sets them down on the kitchen counter. He looks at my mom. “I was hoping we could talk.”

I get between them. “I think you’ve said enough.” I look at my mom. “Sign the papers, and we’ll get him out of here.”

“Son, I want to speak to your mom.”

I move so fast I know I startle him. “Don’t you dare call me ‘son!’ You lost that privilege when I caught you fucking my wife. There’s nothing you can say to any of us that’ll make this right. Grab your shit, and get the fuck out of here before I kill you.”

Of course, the dick doesn’t move at all, but my mom stands in front of me. “My sweet boy. Thank you for trying to protect me, but let me talk to him, and then he’ll leave.” She grabs the papers and turns to my father. “Let’s talk outside.”

As she leads my father outside, I call out, “I hope you have a miserable life, or—better yet—drop dead, you terrible piece of shit.”

My mom never told me what they talked about that day, but all I know is that she stayed in her room and cried for days. We never saw him again.

***

Mila, Gaia, and I surround our mom as we walk into church for our father’s funeral. The church is packed already and the line to the casket is long. We’re all silent as we get in line. None of us want to be here, but we’re doing it for our mom, who wanted to say goodbye. I’m not surprised by all of the people here. My father always was a charismatic man. People were drawn to him.

The closer we get, the more I start to sweat. I spot a door toward the front, and I want nothing more than to escape through it, but then I look at my mom, who is carrying herself with dignity and class. I can’t abandon her or my sisters, who both look like they’re close to losing it.

I wrap my arms around Gaia and Mila and hug them to my sides. I feel them both trembling the closer we get to the front of the line. My mom has Gaia’s hand tucked in hers. Together, we’re strong enough to make it through this day.

I spot Ava standing with her arms around two teenagers. I notice the boy first. He could be my twin. My stomach turns violently as I study him. He has our dark hair and skin tone, but his eyes are exact replicas of mine and my sisters.

I can tell he’s trying to be strong, but his chin wobbles for a second before he controls it. The girl has lighter hair but, again, has the same eyes. She’s not even trying to hide the silent tears that roll down her cheeks.

Ava spots me first and whispers to her son. They look at the four of us as we reach her. I want to hate her—I want to tell her that she’s getting what she deserves, but I don’t, because it’s obvious that she loved, or loves, my father very much. It’s clear that she’s devastated.

My mom surprises me by going to her and hugging her tight. She whispers something in her ear that makes tears fall fast from Ava’s eyes, but she nods and kisses both of mom’s cheeks.

“Alessa, these are the people I told you about. This is Nico, Mila, and Gaia. This is my daughter, Alessa,” she tells us.

I stick my hand out. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m sorry about your father.”

Alessa looks at me and then her mom. “Thank you.” I lean forward and kiss her cheek. I step back as my sisters do the same.

I lean forward to kiss Ava’s cheek, but she wraps her arms around me and starts to sob. I don’t know what to do. Her mom, Patrice, joins us, and I pass her off to her. The older woman gives me a small smile and takes her daughter to the front pew.

Her son is still standing in front of me. He’s almost as tall as I am. “I’m sorry for your loss,” I tell him. He thanks me and shakes the hand I’m holding out. Then I step back.

My sisters both hug him, and so does my mom. Afterward, we make our way to the open casket. Gaia is the first one to break. I wrap my arms around her as sobs wrack her body. “D-Daddy! W-why?”

I look at the casket and feel nothing. My father looks exactly as I remember him, except older.

My mom gasps next to me and starts to cry softly, but Mila shows nothing, like me. Since I have Gaia, Mila takes care of our mom. We make our way to a pew big enough to fit all of us and wait for mass to begin. I don’t hear much of what the priest says, but I know the drill—when to kneel, what to say. I even take part in communion.

I don’t really want to go to the burial, but my mom is convinced that we need this. Clueless as to why she does, I agree because it’s easier than arguing with her, especially since she seems so upset right now.

We follow the processional and get to the cemetery. We join the other mourners while the immediate family sits in front of the burial plot. It makes me almost want to laugh because we were his immediate family first, but who knows if anyone other than Ava’s family knows that. Father’s family cut him off after his betrayal, so it’s no surprise that no one is here.

The priest says a few words, and then they begin to lower my father into the ground. I hug Gaia to me as she cries against my chest. Tears are running down her face, and Mila, like me, is trying to take care of our family.

“Daddy!” I watch Alessa collapse on the ground in front of the hole. “Please don’t leave me! I promise I’ll do better in school. I won’t act out with you and Momma, I promise!”

The poor girl is hysterical. Ava’s parents help her off of the ground and lead her to a chair.

As people start to disperse, we too head to our car. We’re almost there when I hear someone call my name. I turn and find Ava heading straight to us.

“Thank you so much for coming today. It would’ve meant so much to your father.” I want to tell her if it would’ve meant so much, where’s he been the past sixteen years, but instead, I tell her it was no problem.

“I’d like for you to get to know Alessa and Enzo. They know what happened. I didn’t want to tell them, but I didn’t want to lie to them either. Will you consider it?”

I don’t know what to say to her, so I tell her that I need to think about it. If my sisters want to, then that’s up to them. I think she’s disappointed that I didn’t jump at the chance to get to know my half-siblings, but if I do, I want to do so on my terms, not hers.

When we get home, my mom retreats to her room with my sisters following her. I enter my room and shut and lock the door behind me before sitting on the bed and covering my face with my hands.

Everything seems to run through my head in a fast reel: the day I caught Ava and my dad together, the day I signed my divorce paper, the first time I met Jill, the first time I made love to her, the day I found out she was pregnant, and the day I almost lost her and Nicola.

What if that’s what I become? An adulterer who abandons his family to start a new one with someone else? Nausea swirls in my belly at the thought. Jill could be my mom in ten or twenty years at my funeral.

I pull out my phone and dial a number that I haven’t used in a long time.

Dom answers on the second ring. “Dom, it’s Nico Bianchi. How are you?”

“Well, well. Nico, my man. I’m well, but I do admit that I’m surprised to be hearing from you. I hear you are on the path to clean living.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been dealing with some shit and could use help dealing with it.” What the fuck am I doing? My stomach tightens. This is not going to help me. “Actually, you know what? I’m all right. It was good talking to you again.”

I disconnect the call and throw my phone onto the bed.

I head downstairs and check to make sure I’m alone. I go to the cabinet where my mom keeps some of her wine. I grab the first bottle I see and set it down in front of me. I pick it up and put it down, and then I do it again. I grab the corkscrew and go back to the bottle.

My head pounds as I fight this internal battle. I want to numb the pain inside of me. I want it to go away. How could he do that to me, to us? He was supposed to be there for us, to protect us, but instead, he destroyed us all.

I drop to my knees, and the tears I didn’t think were ever going to come start to roll down my cheeks. What am I going to do?

***

Jill

We’ve been home for two weeks, and things haven’t been easy. The day we flew home was the worst. First, I couldn’t stop crying, which caused Nicola to be grumpy. The nice flight attendants must not have been working, because the ones we got this time were rude and acted like I and my child were a nuisance. While she slept, no one would help me when I had to go to the bathroom, so I had to wake her up and take her with me.

By the time we landed in St. Louis, I was fit to be tied. When I spotted Gabe by the baggage claim, I burst into tears and ran right into his arms. It took him a while to calm me down, but somehow he did it.

He ended up bringing us back to his place. Jasmine was waiting by the door when we got there. Gabe took my daughter so I could talk to Jasmine. I told her everything from the beginning, and by the time I was done, I was crying again and missing Nico terribly.