The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (34 page)

I’ve always had the highest respect for my mom, especially after I saw the way she handled things after what my father and Ava did, and to know that I purposely hurt Jill the same way was not easy for her to hear. Well, I guess it wasn’t the exact same way, since we weren’t a ‘true’ couple, but we were still in love. You don’t hurt the one you love the way I hurt her.

My mom opens the door as soon as we reach it. She looks pale and tired, but I can tell she’s trying to hide it with makeup and a smile. She takes Nicola and heads into the house.

“Thanks, Mama. I see where we rate.” I wrap my arm around Jill’s waist, and we follow behind them.

Jill, Nicola, my mom, my sisters and I all sit together in the sitting room and talk. My mom, of course, has Nicola on her lap. Our daughter has been soaking up all of the attention she’s been getting from her
nonna
and her
zias
.

As I look at my baby girl, a pain forms in my chest. Nicola and Jill will be leaving soon, and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to deal with not having them around me every day. I hate how torn I feel. On one hand, I need to stay with my mom to make sure her treatment and surgery goes well. On the other hand, Jill and I are trying to make things work. I’m trying to repair the damage I did.

I know they’ll be in good hands when they go home. Gabe will make sure they’re taken care of, but that should be my job.

I watch my little girl throw her hands up in the air. She smiles wide and claps her hands together. I’ve seen my girl cranky, but every time she’s happy she’s so full of joy it’s contagious.

My mom and sisters have been trying to teach her Italian, but since she’s still hardly talking, they aren’t having much luck. Jill thinks it’s a good idea for Nicola to be bilingual. I’d love to teach her about my culture and where my family comes from.

I ask my mom to set Nicola on the floor and get down on my stomach. She crawls to me, and I grab her, tossing her up in the air. She giggles and smiles at me.

The sound of a door slamming startles me. I sit up with Nicola in my arms. Mila reaches for the baby.

“Jill just ran out, crying,” Mila says.

I jump up and run outside. I spot Jill running down the street until she collapses on a set of cement steps. I sit next to her as tears run down her face. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and hug her to me.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

We sit for a long time. She doesn’t respond. She just stares straight ahead with silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She leans her head onto my shoulder. “We leave in two days. I’m taking your baby girl away from you. I wish I could stay, I really do, but like I told you, I can’t take any more time.”

“
Bella,
I know you’d stay if you could. Mom’s surgery is in a few weeks and, God willing, when everything turns out well, I’ll be on the first flight to St. Louis.”

I kiss her temple, hiding my own sadness. “Come on, baby. Let’s head back.”

I stand up, grab her hand, and pull her up. I hug her to my chest and feel her arms wrap around my waist.

I love how perfect we fit together. The top of her head reaches right under my chin. It makes it easy to snuggle her. I hope when Nicola’s older she looks like her mama.

I lead Jill back to my mom’s place. I’m sure they’re worried about her. As we walk toward the house, I notice that there’s a car stopped in front of the house. I watch a woman with short blonde hair step out of the car and turn toward us.

“Ava?”

Chapter Thirteen

Jill

“Ava?” Nico asks. His body is ramrod straight and his muscles tense.

I look at the woman in front of us. She’s about my height. Her blonde hair is cut into a funky pixie cut. Her thin body makes me feel like a fatso. I’ve always thought I was thin, but next to her, I’m not.

She’s beautiful, but since I know what she did, I think she’s an ugly person. She looks at Nico and then at me. Of course, when she looks at me, she lets her gaze travel up and down my body. She dismisses me like I’m a nobody.

“Ava, what are you doing here?” Nico’s voice sounds harsh.

“I’m sorry to just show up like this, but I thought it was better to do this in person.” She looks at me and then back at Nico. “Can we speak privately?”

She’s got some nerve. I’m ready to let her have it, but he beats me to it.

“We have nothing to say to each other,” he says through gritted teeth.

“You’ve got some nerve coming here,” I hear Mila say before I see her and Gaia storming down the steps. They both get in front of Nico and me, acting as our shields. “Get the hell out of here, you whore.”

I’ve never seen Mila so mad. She looks like she’s seconds from jumping on the other woman. It looks like Ava’s been crying, and it gives me a sinking feeling in my belly.

“Go ahead and be a bitch, Mila. I thought you’d want to know, or that you had the right to know, that your father passed away a few days ago. It was a heart attack. Here’s the information for the service.” The woman has a hard time getting the words out. “I’d like you all to be there. You have a half-brother and half-sister who should know you.”

She hands a card to Nico, who stares at her blankly. The fact that he’s showing no emotion makes me nervous.

“Why now?” I say before I can stop myself. “It’s been, what, sixteen or so years? Why is it so important to you now?” Nico pulls me into his side and hugs me close.

“Who are you? This doesn’t concern you.”

I’ll give her a pass because she’s clearly mourning her husband, but I’ll be damned if she tries to scare me off.

“Nico, what’s going on?”

I turn and find Martine coming down the steps with Nicola in her arms. As soon as my baby sees me, she launches herself at me. I catch her and hug her close. Nico rubs a hand over her head.

Ava looks closely at my daughter. I want to shield Nicola from the woman, but it’s too late now. She looks between Nico and me, and it’s not hard to see the grief wash over her features.

As shitty as her actions were toward Nico and his family, it’s obvious that she must’ve loved her husband. When I think about ever losing Nico, it causes an ache in my chest.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on? Why is
she
here?” Martine asks, her voice laced with venom. She stands next us. “Where’s Lorenzo?”

Mila and Gaia grab Martine and pull her to the side. I hear them speak to her in Italian. I know the exact moment they tell her about her ex-husband because she starts to cry and speaks rapid Italian before running back into the house.

“You need to go,” Nico says. I turn and find Nico moving toward Ava.

“Are you going to come to your father’s service? It would mean so much to me and the kids if you all would come,” she pleads.

I’ve seen Nico mad before, but this side of him scares me. He gets right in her face. “‘It would mean so much’? Are you fucking kidding me? You were sleeping with him while we were together—while he was married to my mother. You married me! You let me think your baby was mine! You both played us, and you want us to just forget that and be there because it would mean so much to you? You must be on drugs. We haven’t heard from either of you in years. We were his fucking children, and he left and never looked back. Get in your car, and go back to your kids. Leave us the fuck alone.”

Tears run down Ava’s face. She opens her car door but turns back to Nico. “You don’t think we know what we did and how wrong it was? I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, but I did. We made so many mistakes, Nico. You don’t know how many times we talked about reaching out to you all but having no clue how to do it. We never wanted to hurt anyone. Whether you believe me or not, I don’t care. All I know is my children have lost their father and I lost the love of my life. You have the information. If you come, great. If not, well, at least I can tell the kids I tried.”

She disappears inside her car and takes off.

Nico hangs his head. Then he turns and bolts into the house. Nicola and I follow behind him.

Inside, the mood is heavy. I go up the stairs, where I find Gaia and Nico standing outside of Martine’s bedroom. Her crying can be heard from the end of the hall.

Gaia’s eyes look wet, but she seems to be holding her tears in. I don’t say anything. I just stand at the end of the hall with Nicola in my arms. She’s fussing a little but probably because she can sense the tenseness in the air.

“Pa, Pa, Pa,” she calls out, reaching for her daddy. He comes to us with such sad eyes. I don’t know what to do, so I do the one thing I know will make him happy. I hand our daughter to him. He hugs her. Then, Nico and our baby girl step into Martine’s room. Nico shuts the door behind them.

Gaia gives me a sad smile before following after her brother into their mom’s room. I stand awkwardly in the hall, not quite sure what to do with myself. I head downstairs, grab my phone, and step outside. I decide to call Gabe and let him know what is going on.

As soon as he answers, I tell him about Ava and his dad and then her visit today. He doesn’t say much while I tell him everything.

“Jesus, Jill. I can’t believe he never told me any of this. I knew something bad had happened. No wonder he was so tight-lipped about why he came to America.”

“Gabe, I don’t know what to do. Why did this have to happen right before I go home? I hate it that I can’t stay longer, but they were already nice enough to give me three weeks. I have to save some of my time just in case Nicola or I get sick.” A thought comes to me. “What happens if he falls off the wagon? What if this pushes him into the dark spot again? I don’t think I could handle it if he hurt me again.”

“I’ll call him and check in. I’ll see where his head is at. I don’t want you worrying, okay? How’s my little niece? Is she missing her favorite uncle?”

“You’re her only uncle, and yes, I’m sure she’s missing you. How are Jasmine and little Gabe? I miss them.”

“They’re good. That kid gets more boob time than I do.” He laughs to himself. Ugh, he’s such a pig. “Jasmine misses you guys. Have you talked to Mom or your dad?”

“I miss her too. I talked to Dad the other day. He lectured me for not calling him every day. He said Nicola might forget who her grandpa is. He’s such a dork.”

We talk for a few more minutes and confirm what time he needs to pick us up at the airport. My eyes fill with tears again at the thought of leaving, especially now that it seems like Nico is going to need me more than ever.

I step back inside just as Nico comes down the stairs with Nicola. “I’m going to take you two back to the hotel.”

I don’t know what to say, but maybe they just need some family time, which I can totally understand. “Okay.”

Twenty minutes later, he drops us off in front of the doors to the hotel and takes off. No goodbye, no ‘see you later,’ nothing. Confused, I walk into the hotel and make my way upstairs, Nicola in my arms.

Nicola and I are both exhausted, so I give her a quick bath and get her ready for bed. Once she’s out, I take a quick shower, throw on my nightgown, and slip into bed. Even though I’m upset, I’m so tired that it doesn’t take long for me to slip into an exhausted sleep.

I’m not sure what time it is when I feel Nico move me to my back and slide between my legs. I should stop him, I should make him talk about it, but instead I pull his face down to mine until our lips meet.

He forces my mouth open and then fucks me with his tongue. His tongue duels with mine in that familiar dance of ours. I feel him grab my panties and rip them from my body. I gasp against his mouth.

His lips finally leave mine and start travelling down my neck until he reaches my nightgown-covered breasts. He grabs the neckline and rips it down, exposing my breasts to his hungry mouth.

He sucks one turgid tip inside his hot mouth, drawing on it. I swear it has a direct line to my pussy. I cry out and then moan as he switches to the other nipple. No words are spoken as he moves further down until he’s right at the apex of my thighs.

His hot breath hits me, and I moan. His tongue swipes at me. I grip his head and hold it between my legs. He pins me down as he feasts on my flesh. One finger then two enter me, roughly moving in and out until I can’t take it anymore and cry out as my orgasm tears through me.

I have no time to brace myself before Nico is over me with my ankles on his shoulders. He thrusts his cock deep and to the point of pain, but it makes me even more turned on.

Nico grabs my arms and pins them down by my head as he starts hammering into me. I moan and cry as he hits my G-spot over and over. My legs begin to quake, and an ache forms deep in my belly as I get close to coming again.

I feel him swell inside of me and know he’s getting close too. His thrusts become more aggressive. He hits my sweet spot over and over until I come so hard that my back arches off of the bed and he has to cover my mouth. He thrusts erratically, once then twice. Seconds later, he comes inside of me.

“Nico! You’re not wearing a condom.”

He doesn’t stop coming. It’s like he can’t hear me. When he finally stops moving, he collapses on top of me, and I begin to feel him leaking out of me. Tears fill my eyes. It’s like I was just the closest available body.

I whimper as he pulls out of me. He lies next to me, and I can tell he’s staring up at the ceiling. He still won’t say anything to me, so I grab the ends of my nightgown and pull them over my breasts. I crawl out of the bed and walk numbly into the bathroom. When I feel his semen running down the inside of my thighs, I start to cry.

I never went on birth control after Nicola, since I was single and planned on staying that way for a while. I want more children someday, but when I choose to. Hell, I’m leaving in a little over twenty-four hours and have no clue if and when I’ll see Nico again.

I quickly shower and throw on shorts and a t-shirt when I’m done. I take a deep breath as I open the door and find the bedroom empty. A piece of paper is lying on my pillow. I pick it up with shaky fingers. It says two words:

I’m sorry.

I crumple the paper in my hand and throw it across the room.

I pick up my phone and try calling him, but he doesn’t answer. I drop my phone on the bed and collapse on the bed. What a fucking mess.

***

I wake to the sounds of Nicola’s laughs and Nico’s deep voice. I throw back the covers and climb out of bed. I’m so mad right now, I can’t see straight. I take a deep breath and try to calm the swirling anger in my belly.

I walk into the other room and find them sitting on the floor with some cartoon playing on the TV. Nicola’s drinking her bottle. She tries to stick it in Nico’s mouth. He pretends to take a sip, and she smiles widely at him.

The scene in front of me makes me happy, but it also makes me sad. The shit he pulled last night cut me to my core. I get it that yesterday was a rough day, but it’s not my fault, and I didn’t deserve that shit.

I watch them for a while before Nico notices me. His eyes look wounded. All I want to do is go to him and hug him, but I know I need to be strong and hold my ground. He used me last night and then came in me without a condom. I don’t doubt that he’s clean since he was in rehab and they probably checked him for everything, but he could’ve gotten me pregnant.

I’m nowhere near ready for another baby. I want to enjoy Nicola and figure out what’s going to happen with Nico and me first.

Nico stands up and comes to me with our girl in his arms. “Jill, I’m so sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me. You didn’t deserve that. I swear to you, I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone since—uh, since that day. I got tested for everything.”

“What happens if I get pregnant, Nico? I am not ready for another baby yet. I told you to stop, and it was like you couldn’t hear me. I understand that you guys got some really crappy news yesterday, but it wasn’t fair for you to take it out on me.”

He sets Nicola down on the ground and cups my cheeks with his hands. “You’re right. I did take it out on you. Please forgive me.”

He kisses my lips, but I don’t let myself melt into him like I’d normally do. He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes tight.

I want to tell him no, but I don’t. Call me weak, call me pathetic, but I love him. I wrap my arms around his waist. He lets out the breath he was holding and hugs me.

“How are you all doing? Are you going to go to your dad’s service?” Of course, as soon as I say that, he shuts down again. I let go and step away from them. “I’m going to get changed.”