The House of Roses (18 page)

“
I know.”

“
Do you ever wonder why it happened?  Why they died?” Colin asked, looking at his aunt.

“
Of course. Every day,” she admitted.

“
Me, too.”

“
It's not fair, but life rarely is.”

Colin looked at her. “I know,” he whispered. Unfair was a language he spoke fluently. He'd made a career out of it. “Why did she run into a burning house, Aunt Sadie?”

“
It was who she was, Colin. She would have done that for anyone or anything she loved. Even if it cost her her life, which it did, it would have been worth it to her.”

“
Dad was like that, too,” Colin said. Tiger whimpered softly, and Colin gently set the dog on the floor beside his feet.

“
He was a good man, Colin. And just like your mom he would have died for someone he loved. He was that good a man. You're like that, too,” Aunt Sadie whispered, and Colin looked back at her with a start.

Was he?  Was he that good a man? 
“I'm not sure,” Colin said.

“
I am. You'd die for that girl you love. If you think about it, you'll know it's true.”

“
We're not together,” he whispered.

“
Dear God, what happened?”

“
I fucked up.”

“
Colin!”

“
Oh, sorry.”

“
Oh, I don't care about the “f” word. I slip sometimes, myself. In fact, I think I let that one go last week, when that little shit and his girlfriend were on the table, sampling my chili,” she admitted, pointing at the dog.

“
I remember that chili,” Colin said, smiling.

“
What do you think is simmering on the stove?” she asked, and Colin felt his mouth water.

“
I knew I smelled something.”

“
We'll give it another few minutes. While we wait you can tell me about Karen.”

“
Caitlin.”

“
Right, Caitlin. What happened, Colin?”

“
This is going to sound crazy, but I don't know.”

“
How are you going to fix it, if you don't know?”

“
What makes you think I want to fix it?” he asked.

“
I heard your voice when you said her name. I saw your eyes.”

“
You were always good with that stuff.”

“
I still am.”

“
Then why are you alone?”

“
What makes you think I am?” she asked, and Colin's jaw went slack.

“
Aunt Sadie!” he said, glad to change the subject, something not lost on his aunt.

“
You're changing the subject,” she said, seemingly reading his mind.

“
Who is he?” Colin asked.

“
His name is Stuart. He's an entertainment lawyer. He's fifty. That's his dog,” she said, motioning to the small terrier sleeping beside Tiger. “Her name is Tiffany.”

“
You're dating a man with a dog named Tiffany?”

“
Not exactly.”

“
What then?”

“
We're getting married in June,” she said, and Colin noticed she suddenly looked like a young girl, like the Aunt Sadie he remembered from his boyhood.

“
That's awesome,” he said. “Where is this lawyer?  I'd like to meet him.”

“
You will, if you and Caitlin come to the wedding. He's out of town on business.”

“
I don't imagine Caitlin will be coming,” Colin said sadly.

“
You still love her,” Aunt Sadie said, and although it wasn't a question, Colin nodded.

“
Yup,” he said, sounding wistful.

“
So, fix it.” Aunt Sadie said.

“
You make it sound so easy.”

“
It is.”

“
No, it's not.”

“
Does she still love you?” Aunt Sadie asked, and Colin shrugged.

“
I don't know. I don't even know where she is.”

“
I'd suggest you find her.”

“
Anything else?” Colin asked.

“
Yes, the chili's ready,” she said, and Colin smiled.

“
Sounds good.”

“
Welcome home, son.”

“
Thanks, Aunt Sadie.”

Twenty-one

Caitlin woke on Tuesday morning after a fitful night with little sleep. As she expected, the first night away from the hospital with the twins was difficult, and she groaned as she climbed out of bed. She crossed the room, and peeked into the Sleep-Aways that laid side by side on her bedroom floor. Despite her exhaustion, she smiled.

“
Now you sleep,” she said, crossing to the window. A police car sat in the driveway. “Now what the hell happened?” she wondered, heading downstairs as quickly as her still-battered body would allow.

Nathan Parker sat at the kitchen table in a sheriff's uniform. Rita leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand.

“
You're a cop?” Caitlin asked from the doorway.

They hadn't heard her approach and both Nathan and Rita turned to look at her.

“
Yup,” Nathan said.

“
Since when?” Caitlin asked, taking the cup of coffee Rita offered.

“
About a year now?” Nathan replied, looking at Rita.

“
Sounds right,” Rita confirmed.

“
What about Wall Street?” Caitlin asked, lowering herself into the chair beside Nathan.

“
It's still there.”

“
You left?” she asked, her astonishment evident.

“
I got fired,” he admitted.

“
Fired. Wow,” Caitlin said, sounding surprised, but feeling ashamed that she hadn't known.
How could she have?  She hadn't asked.

“
Yeah,” Nathan said, and Caitlin realized she hadn't been listening. “I took a month off after Patti died, and I was on the train one day, heading back, and I just couldn't. I called them and told them I needed a little more time. My boss was understanding. About a week later I got a letter telling me I was terminated without cause.”

“
What did you do?” Caitlin asked, genuinely interested.

“
Well, if I hadn't been so damned sad I may have danced. I hated that job. It kept me away from Patti, and Erica. I missed so much of their lives, and then Patti's life ended. I didn't want to make the same mistake with Erica.”

“
Hmm,” Caitlin said, thinking about what Nathan had said. “I'm sorry I didn't know, Nathan. And, I'm more sorry that I never asked. I'm starting to realize how much I've missed. I shouldn't have stayed away so long.”

“
It's okay,” Nathan said.

Was it?  Was it okay to cut yourself off from people you loved? 
Caitlin didn't think so.

“
How's your hand?” Caitlin asked, avoiding the topic of her thoughtlessness, in favor of the injuries he'd sustained retrieving her cat.

“
It's better.”

“
Did anyone ask you what happened?” Caitlin asked with curiosity.

“
Yeah.”

“
What'd you tell them?”

“
I was apprehending a perpetrator.”

“
Good one,” Caitlin said with a chuckle.

“
So, what are you gonna do now?” Nathan asked thoughtfully.

“
I'd like to take a shower,” Caitlin said.

“
And, after the shower?” Nathan asked, arching a brow,

“
Oh,” Caitlin said. “Yeah. What am I going to do?”  Caitlin thought about it for several seconds, as Rita and Nathan eagerly awaited her response. “I'm going to write another book.”

“
That's great, Caitlin,” Nathan offered.

“
I hope it will be. The first one sucked.”

“
Caitlin, it didn't suck,” Rita said in her defense.

“
It sucked!” Caitlin replied vehemently.

“
Okay, it wasn't great, but someone thought it was. It might be published, right?”

“
Wrong,” Caitlin said.

“
When did that change?” Rita asked.

“
It's going to change when I call my agent and tell her I'm starting over with a new book. Besides, I don't want my name on that shit,” Caitlin said with a smile. Rita shook her head, likely at the profanity.

“
Well, how about that,” Nathan said.

“
I'm going to start another book while I'm here,” Caitlin said. “I have eight weeks to figure out what to do.”

“
Eight weeks?” Rita asked.

“
That's how long maternity leave is.”

“
Gotcha,” Rita said, as the monitor beside Caitlin came to life with baby sounds.

“
They're up,” Caitlin said.

“
Can I get them?” Rita asked.

“
Sure,” Caitlin said, “although I need to get into a routine.”

“
Why don't you take a shower, and you can be a single mother starting tomorrow,” Rita offered, and Caitlin sighed with a mixture of sadness and appreciation.

“
Thanks, Mom.”

“
Well, I gotta go fight crime,” Nathan said, putting his hat on, and tipping it to Caitlin, who smiled at the gesture.

“
Is there much crime here?” Caitlin asked, helping herself to a second cup of coffee.

“
Not really. Drunken tourists mostly. I primarily patrol, but every once in a while we get something. I love it though. I really do,” he admitted.

“
I'm glad, Nathan. You deserve to have something you really love,” Caitlin said.

“
So do you,” he said, slipping out the door into the morning sun.

Caitlin sighed at his parting remark, and leaned her ample backside against the counter. Through the baby monitor she could hear Rita talking to the twins. One gurgled in response, and she heard her mother laugh. Suddenly Rita began singing, and Caitlin smiled as she listened. “I Love Rock'n Roll” wasn't exactly a lullaby, but Caitlin had to appreciate Rita's effort.

Caitlin finished her second cup of coffee, rinsed the mug, and left it in the sink. She started the shower in the downstairs' bath, and gingerly stepped into the tub. She swayed slightly from the weakness that lingered in her body, but slowly she felt herself regaining strength. The hot spray felt wonderful, and before she knew it, she too was serenading no one in particular with the old Joan Jett song.

“
It's catchy, isn't it?” Rita asked from the doorway, and Caitlin laughed.

“
It is,” Caitlin said, as she squeezed shampoo into her right hand.

“
Did you get a towel?” Rita asked.

“
No, I was so excited about the shower, I forgot.”

“
Want a big one?” Rita asked.

“
Have you seen the size of my body?” Caitlin asked in response.

“
One day you'll forgive yourself for that, Cate.”

“
Can I start that tomorrow, too?”

“
I suppose. Your towel is on the sink. I'm going to start the formula and then we can get these kids fed. You can come and hang out with me in the shop later if you want.”

“
Thanks, Mom,” Caitlin said. She knew Rita was really trying, and she appreciated the effort.

When Caitlin had finished her shower and towel dried her hair, she stepped out of the bathroom to find Rita in the kitchen with the twins. She had them loaded into their stroller in the middle of the floor.

“
I changed them and dressed them,” Rita said, without turning around from the stove.

“
Mom, you didn't have to do all that,” Caitlin said. “But, I do appreciate it.”

“
I know,” Rita said, without a hint of her normal smugness.

“
Boy, you look like a pro. Hard to believe you only had me to practice on.”