The House of Roses (23 page)

“
What?” Caitlin asked, as she watched Rita's eyes fill with tears.

Rita brushed the tears away, and motioned Caitlin to follow her outside to the porch. Nervously she lit a cigarette as Caitlin watched. Rita's hands were shaking.

“
What did he leave?” Caitlin asked, wondering if she already knew.

Rita took a deep drag on the cigarette, and watched as the smoke seemed to be drawn to the dim porch light.

“
You,” she said in barely a whisper.

“
Me?” Caitlin asked, as her eyes filled with tears. “I don't understand.”

“
I think you do, Cate.”

“
No, I don't. You had an affair with Charles Tayler?” Caitlin asked incredulously, reaching to take the pack of cigarettes from her mother's hand.

“
Of course not,” Rita said, lighting the cigarette Caitlin held with trembling fingers.

“
Then how is he my father?” Caitlin asked.

“
Because I'm not your mother,” Rita said, and only then did her tears come, hard and fast, and her shoulders shook as Caitlin watched helplessly.

“
What?” Caitlin asked, as she too began to cry.

Both women wept softly, and neither said a word for several moments. Before either could speak, a car came up the driveway with lights flashing, followed by a second vehicle.

“
What the hell?” Caitlin asked, the news Rita had shared momentarily forgotten.

Nathan Parker got out of the police car, devastation evident on his face. When he was close enough to be heard, he spoke softly. “Ella's worse. Mom is going to the hospital. You should come, Rita. You too, Cate.”

“
I can't go. What about the babies?” Caitlin asked, suddenly panicked.

“
I'll watch them,” Nathan offered.

“
Okay,” Caitlin whispered, sounding uncertain. She turned to Rita, who looked as if she'd been struck. “Maybe you should go with Liz. I think I should stay here.”

“
No, Cate. You need to come. Ella is your real mother,” Rita said, her voice barely audible.

“
What?” Caitlin whispered.

“
Oh my God!” Nathan said, as Liz Parker walked to his side.

“
It's true, Nate,” Liz said, taking her son's hand. “You're my niece, Caitlin.”

“
I don't understand this,” Caitlin said. Her thoughts were scattered, and she suddenly felt as though she were suffocating. The cigarette she'd lit had burned out in her fingers, and Nathan took it and dropped it to the ground. For a moment no one spoke, until finally Nathan broke the silence.

“
Go, Cate. Go with Rita. She'll explain. You can explain this to me later, Mom. You should be with Ella. You too, Cate. The kids will be fine with me.”

“
Thank you, Nathan,” Caitlin said, reaching out to hug the man she'd known as a friend, the man she just learned was her first cousin by birth.

“
I have your purse, Cate. There are bottles in the fridge, Nathan. You just need to heat them. They're fed again around nine, and then they go down for the night, or however long they'll sleep,” Rita said, without meeting anyone's eyes.

“
Are you sure about this, Nathan?  Don't you want to be with Ella?”  Caitlin asked, and Nathan sighed.

“
I do, but you need to go, Caitlin,” Nathan said with a weak smile.

“
Where's Erica?”  Caitlin was worried about Nathan's daughter. He was a single father volunteering to baby-sit for her newborns. It wasn't an easy task.

“
She's with her friend Becca. They had cheer leading. I've already called Becca's mom. She said it was fine if Erica stayed the night. I'll stay here.”

“
If you're sure,” Caitlin said, still not convinced it was a good idea. Although it wasn't a question, Nathan answered quickly.

“
I'm sure, Caitlin,” he said, taking both of her hands in his much larger ones. “You really need to be with Ella. I don't understand this either, but if it's true, and I can't imagine anyone making something like this up, then you really need to be there, especially if..........,” his words trailed off, and Caitlin nodded.

“
Okay. Call Mom's cell if you need us,” Caitlin said, avoiding Rita's eyes as she reached for her purse.

“
I will. Drive carefully. It's a really dark night.”

“
Thanks, Nate,” Caitlin said. She followed Rita to her SUV. Caitlin's shoulders were slumped and tears still ran down her face. She had two newborns, a lost love she missed so much it hurt, a dead sister she'd never known about, two dead fathers, one dying mother, another who looked like she'd like to die, and a family full of people who'd spent a lifetime deceiving her. She shivered, despite the balmy night air, and steadied herself against the side of the truck. It was too much at once, and she braced herself for what she knew would be a hell of a long night.

Twenty-eight

When Colin Thomas returned to his aunt's house, he found her on the patio. The dogs played in the back yard. Tiger ran to Colin's side when he heard him approach.

“
Hey, buddy,” Colin said, picking up the dog and hugging it to his chest.

“
Good to see you've made up,” Aunt Sadie said with an enormous smile. Colin took a chair at the patio set where she sat.

“
I listed the property today. I hope that doesn't upset you.”

“
I'd have been upset if you let it sit there much longer,” Aunt Sadie said. “Lemonade?” she asked, pointing to a pitcher.

“
That'd be nice. Thanks.”

“
How do you feel, Colin?” his aunt asked as she poured the lemonade.

“
Peaceful. Whole. Well......, almost.”

“
What would complete you, son?” she asked. Aunt Sadie had never sugar coated much, and she wasn't afraid to ask the hard questions. Obviously she hadn't changed.

“
A family,” he said softly, surprised it had taken him so long to realize it.

“
Cate?” his aunt asked, handing him the lemonade.

“
Yeah,” he said, sounding defeated.

“
You love her. I can tell.”

“
I do. Crazy, makes you sick to your stomach and so scared you can't breathe, kind of love,” he said, laughing at himself.

“
That's the best kind,” she said with a smile. “What happened, Colin?  I thought things were so good between the two of you.”

“
For a long time they were. I really loved her. I told her all the time.”

“
Did you show her?”

“
Huh?” Colin asked.

“
Did you show her, Colin?  There's more to love than just saying it. Did you show her?”

“
I thought I did. Maybe I could've done better,” Colin admitted. “Last Christmas  was bad, Aunt Sadie. I had a patient that died. I stayed at the hospital on Christmas Eve. I sat there all night with her parents. She died just before dawn.”

“
I'm sorry, Colin. I don't know how you do what you do.” 

“
At times, neither do I. I went to Caitlin's Christmas morning. Something was different. I felt different about what happened. It affected me more than it normally did. I think Cate knew that. She wanted to talk about it, but I couldn't. I don't even know why I couldn't. I trusted her. She was the one person who was closer to me than anyone else. Why couldn't I tell her what I was feeling?”

“
What were you feeling?”

“
That's the thing. I don't really know. I guess that's why I couldn't talk about it. I just knew I wanted to protect her from what I'd seen, the ugliness of it.”

“
You should have told her that.”

“
I know. I didn't. She got upset. I went home.”

“
Sounds like a real nice holiday,” Aunt Sadie said.

“
Yeah. It was pretty great,” Colin replied sarcastically. “We never got past that. After Christmas, we got more and more distant. Eventually it just ended,” Colin said softly.

“
I'm sorry. I don't want you to be alone, son.”

“
I won't be for much longer,” he said.

“
What?” Aunt Sadie asked.

“
I'm adopting a little girl,” Colin said softly

For a moment his aunt said nothing. She simply stared at him. “What did you say?”

“
I'm adopting a little girl, Aunt Sadie.”

“
Yes. That's what I thought you said. I don't know what to say.”

“
I know it's not what you'd expect from me.”

“
It's not.”

“
Aunt Sadie, please don't look at me like I'm crazy.”

“
Are you?”

“
I don't think so.”

“
How did this come about, Colin?” she asked.

“
The little girl, Mia, is my patient. HIV positive, but no AIDS yet. Her mother, Rosario, has full blown AIDS. She's dying.”

“
I'm sorry. That's heartbreaking, Colin.”

“
I know. Rosario came to see me last Sunday. I knew when I saw her she was close. She doesn't have anyone she thinks can give her daughter what she needs. Mia has been my patient since birth. She couldn't ask, but she hinted. I said yes.”

“
Just like that?”

“
No.”

“
Then what?” Aunt Sadie pried, and although Colin was uncomfortable, he wasn't surprised. He needed her to understand. He needed her support.

“
I was in an airplane heading to a convention in Los Angeles. I was trying to figure out how to help Rosario. I'd promised her I'd help. Mia needs someone who understands this disease, someone who can provide for her, and give her the care she needs.”

“
And that's you?”

“
I think it is.”

“
There isn't anyone else who could do that?”

“
I'm sure there is, Aunt Sadie,” Colin said, with a sharper tongue than he'd intended. “There are probably a lot of people who could. I just don't have the time to find them.”

“
Don't be angry with me, Colin.”

“
I'm not.”

“
Good. I mean well.”

“
I know you do. I'm sorry I snapped at you.”

“
I forgive you. You've really thought this through?” Aunt Sadie asked.

“
Yes. I always knew there was something about this little girl, something different, and I don't think it has anything to do with medicine. I knew in my heart she was different. I knew we were connected. I don't know if I believe in destiny, but I believe I can be a good father to her. I know I am supposed to do this.”

“
I'm proud of you, Colin,” Aunt Sadie whispered.

“
Me, too.”

“
Are you scared?”

“
Terrified.”

“
I'd be worried if you weren't.”

“
I'm seeing them tomorrow night. I'm going to move them in with me. The end gets crazy. No one ever knows how much time someone has right at the end. It comes down to the will to live, and how strong the patient is,” Colin said, and his breath caught. It was hard to think of Rosario Mariposa as just a patient. She was the mother of the little girl he was about to adopt, the mother the child would grow up without, the mother he would have to help preserve in Mia's memory.

“
You're quiet. Thinking?” his aunt asked, and he nodded.

“
Yeah. It's a lot to process. And frankly it's a lot to try to explain to Cate. She's always lived this orderly life. I cannot imagine dropping all of this on her.”

“
If she loves you, she'll accept what you've decided. You just need to do better this time. Let her in, Colin. That's what love is. Share your life with her. Share what's in your heart.”

“
I will, if she'll let me. I don't even know how she feels about me. I haven't seen her in months. I have no idea what she's doing now, or even where she is. She's on some kind of leave of absence or something. The paper wouldn't tell me anything when I called her. I left a message at her house, but she never called me back,” Colin said, sounding like a teenager. His aunt smiled. “I sounded like a kid just then,” he said, and his aunt nodded.