The Impostor, A Love Story (16 page)

But it was time. We had been seeing each
other for over three weeks, and I hadn’t told him the truth.
Petrified, I avoided this for as long as I could, but I realized it
was not fair for me to go on dodging the conversation. I started
feeling nauseous and didn’t want to go through with it. Once he
knew the truth, this dream I have been living in could end. A
sadness came over me.

He had no clue what I was about to say.
How do I begin
?

“Dylan.” I hesitated. “Is there any place we
can go? I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Do you want to go to a restaurant to talk or
. . .” I couldn’t get the words out. I just kept going over the
scenario in my head.
I’ll tell him. He will freak out and end it
and leave me on the side of the road
. Maybe a public place
would be better.

Ronald was known to leave me on the side of
the road during a fight. Not that I really thought Dylan would, but
I figured I’d be safe, just in case. It was cold outside.

We sat down in the restaurant, and he twisted
toward me.

“What’s wrong? You’re acting strange.”

I breathed in, then breathed out.

“It’s not like you are going to tell me
you’re pregnant or something.” He laughed. He thought it would get
a chuckle from me. When it didn’t, he appeared a little
worried.

I didn’t know how to begin.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you,”
I began apprehensively.

He raised his eyebrow, puzzled. “Are you
seeing someone else?”

“There is someone very special to me in my
life.”

His face contorted.

“You are seeing someone else?” He kept
looking at me in disbelief.

I covered my face with my hands for a moment,
then glanced up and shook my head.

“It’s not like that.”

“So what is it like?”

I paused for a moment and began, “Dylan, I
don’t know if you know it or not but . . . but I have a
daughter.”

“A daughter?” You could hear the surprise in
his voice.

Only a few people in the club knew about
Jessica. Most people didn’t understand or would try to use it
against me because I was young and not married. I was careful who I
told.

“Yeah, I have a daughter back home. I’m
trying to make it possible to bring her here.” I had secretly hoped
it wouldn’t make a difference to him, but I could tell it freaked
him out.

“A daughter?” He sat up more erect and rubbed
his hands on his thighs like he was searching for something to say.
“Wait. Are you married?”

“No, not at all. I have been a single mom
most of her life.”

“You have a daughter?” He was still searching
for something to say. “How old is she?”

“She’s four.”

He was silent for a moment. “Where is she
now?”

“She’s with my mom. I‘ve been raising money
so I can bring her up here and have been hoping to get an
apartment.”

“You’re a mom.” He was a little dazed by the
news. Sitting there in silence for a while, I had no clue what to
say.

“You are a mom?” The question had already
been answered, but it was like he was in disbelief and hoped I was
joking.

“What . . . what is her name?”

“Jessica.” I lit up.

“I bet she’s beautiful.” He stared out the
window. “So, you’re in Alaska trying to raise money so you can
bring her here?”

“Yeah, I wanted a better life for us.”

“When is she coming up?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been saving for her
ticket.”

“So you need money to bring her up? I can
give you the money.”

“I can’t take your money. That isn’t why I’m
telling you. It’s just that . . . she’s a really big part of my
life and you should know about her.”

“I can’t believe you have a daughter . . .
can’t say I am not a little freaked out about it,” Dylan began.

“If this changes things, I understand.”

“It does . . . it does, but not about how I
feel about you. I like kids . . . I guess. The truth is I’m hardly
around kids. I don’t even see my nieces and nephews that often. I .
. . I guess I’m willing to try. So when I get back, can we bring
her to . . . I don’t know. What do four-year-olds like to do?”

“You’re coming back for sure?” My face lit
up. He had mentioned he might come for a few days or that the band
may be playing here, but I thought he would change his mind when he
heard the news.

“I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. I’ve
never felt like this before, Nicole. To be honest, if any girl
wouldn’t sleep with me, I would’ve moved on. If a girl told me she
had a child, I’d’ve definitely been gone. But now I can’t wait to
see this miniature you. Her name’s
Jessica
?”

“Yeah, I call her Jess sometimes.”

“I can’t wait to meet her, Nicole. I have to
say, I am a little relieved. You got me nervous there for a minute.
I worried you were married or something.” He took my hand and
cradled it in his. “A little Nicole. This will be new.” He drew me
forward and kissed me.

“You aren’t mad at me for not telling you
sooner?” I watched him, hoping to find the truth in his eyes.

“How could I be mad at you? I’m kind of sad
you didn’t feel you could tell me earlier. But to be honest, I
don’t know what I would’ve done. I may have disappeared. I really
don’t know. I’ve changed a lot since I met you, and I think what we
have is something real. I don’t know what you’re doing to me,
Nicole.” He picked up my hands. “I leave for the Slope soon. I
talked to Justin and the band won’t be coming back up to Alaska any
time soon.”

“Oh . . . okay.” I tried not to sound
disappointed.
I knew what was coming. He wasn’t coming
back.

“The band’s gonna be playing in the Lower 48
for a while, but I was thinking maybe . . . maybe I should come
back to Anchorage on my break instead.”

I tilted my head.
What was he saying
?
Was he saying—
?

His voice interrupted my thoughts. “Not just
for a day or two, but for the whole time I’m off. I don’t know
where this is going, but I’d like to try and make a go at it.”

“You won’t miss the band?” I didn’t want him
to do something he would regret later.

“Just thinking about leaving you is killing
me. I’d rather see you on my time off than play with them. I’ll
rent out my house in Washington to someone. It’d be better than
sitting there vacant while I’m on the Slope anyway. And Brad’s got
that extra room I can rent.”

“You really are serious. So you are gone for
a month, then you’ll come here to Anchorage for two weeks?”

“For those two weeks I will be all yours. I’m
only coming back for you. I’m willing to change everything to be
with you, Nikki. Do you wanna try and make this work?”

My smile answered his question.

He took my hands in his again, “My Nicole, I
can’t believe you’re a mom.”

The next night Dylan took off, we wanted to
spend as much time as possible together before he left. The guys
picked us up around ten from work. After a late dinner, Chris
brought us over to his house. They went to the back to grab a
couple towels and a bottle of wine so we could enjoy the stars in
the Jacuzzi. While we were waiting for them to return, I noticed a
file on a small desk. I don’t know what compelled me to pick up the
folder, but when I opened it, I realized it was all about the
girls—the serial killer’s victims.

“Nicole, put that back,” Emily pleaded.

“Look, Em! What is he doing with this?”

“Nicole!”

I flipped through the file, peeking at the
pictures of each victim.
Small frame. Long dark hair. Brown
eyes
. I sucked in air and choked, dropping the file to the
ground. Emily and I dropped to the floor, picking up the papers
that had fallen out.

The guys walked back in.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked in a
serious tone.

“It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I saw it laying
there and picked it up for some reason, but when I opened it, I saw
it was about that killer. Why do you have this?”

Chris didn’t seem amused. “Nicole, you can’t
go through my stuff. That file is confidential. It has information
that hasn’t been released to the public yet.”

“Why do you have it?”

“Never mind that. If I bring you here, I have
to trust you to not go through anything. A lot of my work is
classified.” He grabbed the file from my hands, extremely
disappointed. Flipping through the pages, he confirmed nothing was
missing.

“I promise, I won’t. But Chris, I couldn’t
help noticing . . . all the girls that were murdered, they . . .
they look a lot like me. All of them are around my age, my height,
my hair color, and all from the Lower 48.”

“They are?” Dylan interrupted. Chris nodded
his head.

“Do I need to worry, Chris?” I asked. “I’m
really freaked out about this killer. I mean, he is hunting girls
that look like
me
.” The realization hit me. Dylan could see
the fear in my eyes, came over, and put his arms around me.

“I can’t talk about the case, but you do have
to be careful. You both need to be careful.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to
you,” Dylan promised.

“But you’re leaving.”

“Chris, what can we do to keep them safe when
we’re gone?” Dylan asked.

“Serial killers are the most intelligent and
dangerous of all criminals. They do not strike on impulse. A serial
killer usually stalks his victims searching for weaknesses. He
watches to see how alert you are and if you have any routines that
give him the opportunity to carry out his plan. He wants to know
when you are alone, what time you get home. You can protect
yourself if you learn how to be aware of your surroundings at all
times. The biggest mistake is to let down your guard when you are
alone. If someone pulls out a weapon and wants to take you
anywhere, run. Whatever you do, don’t get in the car.”

“Why do you think he’s doing it?”

“If there is one common motive among these
killers, it’s playing God. They thrive on having the power over the
life and death of another individual.”

“Chris, do you think we’ll be safe?” Emily
was now getting concerned.

“You have to be really careful. Don’t go
anywhere with anyone you don’t know. Don’t accept drinks from
anyone unless you get it from the bar. We don’t know if the killer
has been slipping
roofie, which induces severe
intoxication, or GHB
in the girls’ drinks to make them easy
to abduct.

“What about self-defense?” Emily asked.

“You should both take a self-defense class as
soon as you can. You can’t fight off a serial killer, but it could
help you get away. And when we get back into town, we’ll take you
to a shooting range. It doesn’t make sense to get a gun until you
know how to shoot. And Brad. Brad’s here. If you need anything, I’m
sure he will help you out. Stick together like you’ve been doing.
See if you can vary your schedule, and remember, never let anyone
take you to someplace remote.”

“Like horseback riding in the mountains at
night?” I laughed, trying to lighten the conversation.

“Exactly. I can’t believe someone would even
consider asking you to do that.” He grinned back. “I’ve got some
stun guns you can use for now. Keep them in your purse, but have
them out when you are alone in case you need them. It will give you
a few seconds to get away. But seriously, you are smart girls. Stay
together, and you should be okay.”

All of a sudden, the thought of Chuck entered
my mind, and I cringed. “Chris there is this one guy. I don’t know
if you have looked into him before. The guy you kicked out of the
club.” I nodded to Dylan. “He said he was going to get me.”

“If I had any idea he had threatened you, I’d
have killed him. I had no idea why Brad was kicking him out,” Dylan
interrupted.

“He’s a hunting guide. I think he works for
Big Game Outfitters or something like that. He wears a camouflage
jacket that has a bear on the logo. What was his last name?” I
tried to remember. “It was on the jacket. I . . . I just remember
the name Chuck. It may be nothing, but he really frightened me one
night, and I keep feeling like he’s been watching me.”

Later that evening, I tried to find out from
Dylan exactly what Chris did for a living, but he said it was best
not to ask questions. Why did Chris have a file on all of the
murdered women? Why did he always go out of town? Where did he get
all of his money? I didn’t get any of my questions answered, but I
assumed he was some kind of agent or something.

We were sitting by the fire, and Dylan
grabbed his guitar and started playing me something.

“Are you sure you won’t miss playing with the
band?”

He put down the guitar. I could see my
reflection in his eyes. “I’m gonna miss you more.” He leaned in and
gave me a kiss.

The words, “I don’t want you to go,” came out
even though I tried to suppress my feelings.

He kissed my forehead and gave me gentle
pecks on each of my cheeks. A sudden gleam entered his eye.
“Nicole, I’m going to Seattle this weekend before I go onto the
Slope. You should come with me. You’ll love Washington. I don’t
want this to end, Nicole. The month went by way too fast.”

I wanted to say yes, but there was a part of
me that knew I had to be responsible. I was here to make enough
money to get my Jessica here.

“You will love it. Brad will understand.” He
took my hands. “Come away with me.”

“Brad will understand I have become a groupie
and am now following a band throughout the country,” I joked,
removing my hands from his. “
Dylan,
I’d
love to, but I can’t. Weekends are when I make the most money.”

“When is Jessica coming up?”

“I hope next month.”

“So she won’t be here this weekend?”