The Impostor, A Love Story (27 page)

“She’s not here?” I tried to conceal the
disappointment in my voice. I had already planned to take off a
week, but I was really banking on this time to get to know the
nanny and help Jessica feel comfortable with her. There was nothing
I could do, so I changed the subject. When we arrived at the house,
I walked Jessica around the plowed sidewalk.

“Jessica, close your eyes.” I took her hand
and led her in front of the gingerbread house.

“Now open them.”

“Mommy, Mommy! It’s beautiful. Is it our new
house?” She was so excited, her eyes sparkled. The pastel house
decorated with wooden candy belonged in a storybook.

“I love it, Mommy. I Loooovve it . . . Can we
go inside the pretty house?”

“Let’s turn on the lights.” I flipped the
switch.

“Wow.” She was so excited by the flickering,
candle-shaped lights. We stepped back in time as if in a
storybook.

“Honey, I’m so hungry. Can you make me
something to eat?”

“Of course, I will.” At first, she started
mixing imaginary food together.

“Look, sweetie. They have pots and pans,” I
opened the cupboard with all the plastic foods and utensils. “And
watch this . . .” I turned on the sink.

“I can make you the bestest dinner in the
world, Mommy.”

She put all kinds of concoctions together. We
had so much fun, spending hours making gourmet dishes with the
plastic food. Then we pretended to sleep on the little wooden
beds.”

“Can we sleep here all night, Mommy?”

“We will sleep in the big house tonight, but
we can play in this house every day.”

Her blue eyes sparkled. When we got inside,
Steve was in the kitchen.

“Look what I got.” He had made ice cream
sundaes for everyone.

“Oh, yummy.”

“I’ve got gummy bears, if it’s okay with your
mom,” he enticed.

“That would be great. I’m sure she will love
that.”

“Yummy!”

“Nicole, I found this box in the attic, and
I’m going to donate it, but there were a couple things that I
thought Jessica might like.”

I guessed the people who lived here before
had daughters.

“There are some Barbies, and look what I
found, another locket. I thought maybe she could put a picture of
her mommy in it.” He took out the locket and left it on the
table.

“We can be twins, Mommy!” Jess ran to the
table and picked it up. “I will have a big-girl necklace!”

“That’s right, baby. We will be match and
match!”

“And look, a horsey for Barbie! Thank you,
Mr. Steve.”

“If you want, you can watch the Lion King.
It’s one of my son’s favorites.”

“Can we, Mommy?”

“Sure we can, Angel.” Jessica and I cuddled
on the couch as the movie began. Steve walked over to me and handed
me a glass of wine.

“No, thank you.”

I wished there was a TV downstairs. Steve was
nice, but I missed my own space. The motel had been small, but it
was just Emily and me, and we didn’t have to feel obligated to
spend time with anyone. Steve sat on the couch next to us and
looked at us. I figured he was happy for me. Shortly after the
movie began, Jessica fell asleep.

“I’ll carry her downstairs if you like. I got
a couple movies out if you want to watch any. I already opened up a
bottle of wine.”

“Oh, no. I got her. I’m about ready for bed,
too. It was a long flight. Goodnight, Steve.”

I carried Jessica down to my room and had her
sleep with me. I didn’t want her to wake up in a strange place and
freak out. Emily had already gone to bed for the night.

For the next few days, I couldn’t sleep. I
was trying to think of fun things I could do with Jessica before
returning to work. I had the lights off and ran through different
ideas in my head. One night, I heard a creak on the stairs as if
someone was walking down them, but Emily had already gone to
bed.

“Emily,” I called out. After a few moments,
the footsteps returned back upstairs. Maybe Steve had to get
something from the laundry room. Because of the noise, I decided to
bring Jessica into my room. I picked my little girl up in my arms
and cuddled with her. Watching her sleep, I couldn’t help but
smile. My angel was finally here, and we finally had a place we
could call home.

Emily wanted to go to work Monday, but I
wanted to spend the day with Jessica in Anchorage. I decided I’d
drop Emily off at work, so I’d have the car for the day.

“If you want, you can let Emily have the car.
I can take off today and take you to the zoo or wherever you would
like,” Steve cut in the conversation.

“That is really sweet of you, but I don’t
mind driving.”

“Have you driven in six feet of snow before?”
Emily had used the car a lot more than I had because of work, but I
had driven in it a few times.

“Yeah, I will be fine.”

“Why don’t you let me take you guys around?
I’d hate for something to happen to you with Jessica in the
car.”

“I will be fine,” I repeated. “Thank
you.”

He was very nice, but I really wanted to be
alone with my daughter. He seemed to be a little annoyed that I
didn’t want him to join us. But the truth was, he constantly
invited himself to be a part of our plans, and he was starting to
just assume it was okay. At first, we felt obligated since it was
his home, but after a while, we made up excuses. It was like he
wanted to be around me all the time. I think he was just lonely and
wanted a friend, so I tried to be nice.

“Have you heard anything about the nanny
yet?” I asked Steve.

“No. No, I haven’t. It should be any day,
though. She seemed to think everything was done.”

“Did she lose her residency or something?” I
thought all of the paperwork had been finished.

“It was a work visa and she had to reapply.
It will be fine. We just thought it would be easier since she has
been working for me for years.”

I thought the nanny was in the Lower 48. Come
to find out, she had to go back to Guatemala to resubmit a new
application.
Why did he tell us she would be here in two weeks
if he didn’t know
?

I loved the location for Jessica, but living
so far was making it hard to find a sitter. My savings was
dwindling, and I really had to be able to work soon.

The phone rang. Part of me hoped it was the
nanny, but part of me hoped it was Dylan. Either way, I wanted to
answer the phone.

“Can I get it?” I ran to the phone.

Steve answered it, rolling his eyes. He
handed me the phone.

“Nicole?”

Oh, to hear his voice
.

“Dylan.”

“Hey, baby, I wanted to give you a few days
to get reacquainted with your princess there. I couldn’t wait any
longer. I had to hear your voice. How are doing?”

“I’m wonderful now. I miss you so much.” I
started to bring the portable phone downstairs. I turned to Emily,
Steve, and Jessica. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” I left the
dining room, ran downstairs, and closed the door to my room.

“Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice.” I lay
on the bed. “I wish you were here.”

“I wish I was anywhere you are. God, I miss
holding you. Mmm . . . I miss your lips.”

“I miss your everything.”

Jessica walked in the door. “Mommy, can we go
to the zoo?”

“Is that Jessica? How is she doing?”

I told him all about the playhouse and the
snow fights.

“So did you go shopping with her yet?”

“Dylan, no, I didn’t. It’s too
expensive.”

“What am I going to do with you, young lady?
So, can I talk to her?” he asked, surprising me.

“Angel, I have a friend that wants to talk to
you.” I turned the speaker on.

“Hello,” her angelic voice began.

“Hi, Jessica. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing very good, thank you. How are
you?” she asked so matter-of-factly.

“I’m doing wonderful. I miss your mom,
though. How is she doing?”

“Mommy, he says he misses you,” she called
out and I smiled even though I could hear it on the speaker.

“Can you take care of her for me?” Dylan
asked.

“Of course,” her precious voice answered.
“She loves my soup.”

“I bet she does. I hear you make the best
soup in town.” It warmed my heart. He was so sweet with her.

“It’s not real, so we only can pretend that
it’s yummy.”

“I bet you have a lot of fun with Mommy,
don’t you?”

“I do! She’s the bestest.”

“I agree. Jessica, do you like
princesses?”

“I love princesses.”

“I bet you do. I gave your mom a magic card
for you to use at a special store just for good little girls and
boys. I think you are a good little girl, right?”

I shook my head. “Dylan!”

“I am. I am,” Jess interrupted. She nodded
her head as if he could see her big, blue, convincing eyes over the
phone.

“Cause you can only use the magic card if you
are a good little girl.”

“I am.” She continued to nod her head.

“Well, your mom has the card, and it’s just
for you. The only problem is, you have to go to the store and use
the magic card today or tomorrow or it will disappear. Make sure
she takes you there. It’s really important, okay? You promise?”

“Dylan!” I jumped in again.

“I promise,” she said with excitement in her
voice.

“And you have to pick out what you really
want because the card will know, okay? Tell me all about it next
time I call? Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Will you do something else for me?”

“Sure I will.”

“Can you tell your mom she is beautiful?”

Jessica smiled really big. “Mommy, he says
you are beautiful and you have a magic card for me.”

“Dylan, look what you have done!”

“The magic card . . . can we go there today
Mommy? Can we go to the store with the magic card that has
princesses?”

“Let Mommy talk to him, okay?”

“Goodbye, Mr. Dylan. Thank you for the magic
card.”

“Goodbye, sweetheart.”

I took the phone as she walked out of the
room. “What are you telling her about this magic card? I told you I
didn’t want to take her shopping.”

“Nicole, it’s a very special card that will
know if she gets exactly what she wants. I warned her it would
self-destruct if you don’t use it today or tomorrow.”

“You troublemaker, I didn’t want to accept
it.”

“She seemed pretty excited about it.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Actually, that is one of the reasons I’m
calling. I have an opportunity to switch dates with someone, and I
could be with you for Christmas. I don’t want to do it unless I
know you will spend it with me.”

“Christmas? I would love to.”
Oh my, that
would be so wonderful
.

“The only problem is that I would have to
give up one of my weeks now. Brian has a wedding to go to and will
give me Christmas for one of my weeks. I’d just be able to be with
you one week this time, but we would be together for the
holidays.”

“I would love to be with you for the
holidays.”

“I want to check out this guy you are staying
with.”

“So you really aren’t going on tour with the
band?”

“I’d rather be with you. They understand, and
it gives Justin and Trevor opportunities for more solos, so they
don’t mind. Think about what you would like us to do when I get
into town. It will be fun. I can’t wait to meet Jessica.”

“I miss you so much. One more week—I will be
counting the days.”

“Me too,” he assured me. I’ll give you the
details later, okay baby? There is a line of guys waiting to use
this phone. I just needed to hear your beautiful voice. Tell Emily
hi and give Jessica a hug for me. Remember that magic card is going
to self-destruct if you don’t use it today or tomorrow. You don’t
want to disappoint your princess, do you?”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few ideas.” I could hear the
playfulness in his voice. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you, too.” I came out of the room
beaming.

“Dylan is coming to Anchorage. I can’t wait.
He will be here Saturday. He can only stay for a week, but at least
I’ll get to see him. And Steve, he can’t wait to meet you.”

Steve didn’t appear thrilled at first, but
then brightened up. “That is great. We can all do something
together. The nanny will be getting here with Johnny and
Timmy.”

“Mommy, Mommy, can we please go to the store
with the magic card?”

“I guess what we will do today has already
been decided. Let’s go get ready. You have to wear a princess dress
to go to a princess store.”

She picked out her fanciest dress and sat on
the bed. I brushed her long hair, braiding her hair like a
renaissance girl.

“Don’t forget the magic card, Mommy.”

We dropped Emily off and began our day. I
wasn’t terribly excited about going shopping. I couldn’t believe
the nanny hadn’t arrived. I would have waited to bring Jess to
Alaska if I’d known there was a hold up. I felt wrong spending
money when I knew my savings was dwindling quickly.

I had begun looking for someone else to watch
Jessica, but Steve assured me the nanny would be arriving in a few
days, so I stopped my search. I’d have to go to work a little when
Dylan was in town, and once he left, I’d work most evenings and
spend my days with Jessica to recover the money.

Jessica was so excited and Dylan was so
insistent I take her to this
magical store,
so I tried to
make the best of the shopping experience. I parked the car.

Jessica’s eyes got even wider as we walked
into the shop.

“Wow, Mommy.”

The store was any child’s dream. Jessica
quickly ran over to the princess section, marveling at a castle
bedroom set.