The Independent Bride (39 page)

“That’s what Sarah’s momma told him, but he said he didn’t want me to waste my time at dreary old political gatherings. He said he wanted me to meet a nice boy, get married, and have lots of grandchildren for him to spoil. Would you like coffee?” Pamela said, apparently remembering her role as hostess.

“No, thank you,” Abby said. “I’ll wait to have mine with dinner.”

“Me, too,” Moriah said.

“Zeb is cooking supper. Daddy says he still can’t cook half as good as you and Miss Moriah, but he’s been much better since you came.”

Abby found it more difficult to keep the tears from her eyes. She turned away from Pamela. “Did you set the table?”

“Yes, but Zeb helped.”

“You both did a beautiful job.”

“We did it just like you showed me,” she said proudly. “Daddy said I can do it when we go back to Philadelphia.”

It seemed there was no safe topic. Abby wondered if it would have been easier to see Bryce alone. Zeb entered with glasses and wine.

“Could I offer you ladies something to drink?” he asked.

“No, thank you,” Abby and Moriah said in unison. “Pamela was just telling us Bryce said she could set the table when he goes back to Philadelphia,” Abby added.

“She’ll be getting her chance a lot sooner than any of us expected,” Zeb said, his smile disappearing. “The colonel got his papers today. He can head back East tomorrow if he wants.”

The strength left Abby’s limbs, and she sank down on the couch. She had hoped to have time to come up with a solution to her dilemma, but it was too late now. Bryce had the promotion he and his family had been working for ever since the war ended. He wouldn’t want to wait. He had probably already regretted falling in love with her. He was a gentleman and would never have thrown her over publicly, but no one except Moriah knew. He could hurry back to Philadelphia and no one would ever know.

And she had to let him. If he didn’t want to, she had to make him. Moriah was right. Marrying her would ruin his career. She couldn’t live with that knowledge. His family would blame her. She knew he would defend her, but that would drive a wedge between him and his family. She would have to tell him before he said anything to Pamela.

Thinking of Pamela made Abby want to cry all over again. She had grown to love the little girl; her quick intelligence, her outgoing personality. The child deserved a mother who was more interested in her than in Bryce’s career, one who would spend time with her, answer her endless questions. In Philadelphia Bryce would probably have even less time to spend with her than he did now.

“Are you all right, miss?”

“What?”

“You’ve been staring off into space,” Zeb said. “I don’t think you’ve heard a word I’ve said.”

“Sorry. Trying to figure out what to do about the store and the beef contract is driving me to distraction.”

“I’m sure it is, miss. I’d ask the colonel if I was you. He’s real good at solving problems.”

“Now that he’ll be leaving for Washington, D.C., I guess I’d better get used to solving my problems myself.”

“What problems do you have now?”

Abby turned to see Bryce entering the room. Just the sight of him caused her resolve to weaken so badly it almost gave way entirely. His smile had the power to banish all the clouds of fear and despair, even resentment and anger. She could banish all thought of past injustices. He looked so handsome in his uniform, she felt weak at the knees. Any woman would give her right arm to be married to such a man. She couldn’t possibly give him up.

He was a good man who took great care of those who depended on him, took his responsibilities seriously, considered public service an honor rather than a chance to enrich himself. Which was exactly why she had to give him up.

“The same old things,” she said, forcing herself to return his smile, “but there’ll be plenty of time to talk about that later.” Bryce looked as though he would reach out and take her hands. She couldn’t allow that. Her resolve could never withstand his touch. “I think I will have some coffee now,” she said, turning to Zeb. “It smells awfully good.” She picked up a cup and saucer and held it out for him to pour the coffee.

“He still hasn’t learned to make it as well as you,” Bryce said.

“I’m sure he will. He learns quickly.”

“Thank you, miss,” Zeb said.

“We’ll get a chance to decide when we have dinner. Pamela tells me she insisted he serve only your favorite dishes, the ones you showed him how to make.”

“Which I do think was a mistake,” Zeb said. “There’s no way I’m going to cook her favorite dishes better man she does herself.”

“I’m sure you did very well,” Abby said, moving toward Moriah and Pamela. She felt exposed to too much danger, being so close to Bryce. She cast around frantically for something to talk about, but she couldn’t think of any subject that wouldn’t lead to his having to reveal his plans for the future. She had to speak to him, but she wanted to get him by himself first.

“How did Sarah’s father do in your absence?” she asked. “Did he show himself ready to have his own command?”

That topic lasted until Zeb called them to the table. After that, the subject was food. Pamela insisted upon asking Abby and Moriah’s opinions of each dish. She then queried her father before favoring Zeb with the collected opinions of what he could do to make the dish even better next time. Zeb, who’d begun the meal looking nervous and afraid of failure, soon looked harried from trying to remember everything Pamela said. Abby finally rescued the poor man by telling Pamela she’d write everything down and give the instructions to Zeb so he wouldn’t have to try to remember all the details.

“Thank you, miss,” Zeb said, clearly grateful.

“Everything is really very good,” Moriah said. “You’ve done quite well.”

Everyone knew that was a real sign of success. Moriah didn’t give compliments often. Zeb was pouring the after-dinner coffee when Bryce said he had an announcement to make.

“Could I speak with you first?” Abby asked.

“All right. What did you want to tell me?”

She could think of no other way but to be bold. “I need to speak with you alone for a moment. Would you mind if Moriah took Pamela for a short walk?”

Everyone knew immediately that something important was about to happen.

“I want to stay,” Pamela said.

“I promise we’ll tell you everything when you get back,” Abby said. “No secrets. I just have some ideas I want to discuss with your father before I decide what to do.”

Pamela didn’t look happy at being sent away, but the promise of later disclosure served to mollify her somewhat.

“Miss Moriah and I will talk secrets,” she said, tossing her head in challenge.

“You have to tell me your secrets if I tell you mine,” Abby said.

“AD right, but they’d better be good.”

As soon as they left, Bryce took Abby in his arms and kissed her before she could stop him. Being unable to prevent the kiss, she saw no reason why she shouldn’t take an equal part in it. It was some moments before she and Bryce stepped back from each other.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” Abby said.

Bryce laughed. “You want me to kiss you again?”

“No.” Abby stepped back. “I don’t want you to move until I’ve finished.”

A frown crossed Bryce’s face. “What’s happened? Did that lawyer come back? I gave orders—”

“No, he didn’t come back. I know we haven’t talked since we got back from visiting the ranches, but—”

“I was going to tell everyone after dinner.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. We made no promises and no decisions. I think it’s best that we leave it that way.”

“What are you talking about? I love you. I want to—”

“Are you sure? Couldn’t it be just that you and I have been thrown together in a situation foreign to both of us? You became involved because of my ignorance. You’re a young man, healthy, attractive. I’m one of only two women available. If you’d had hundreds to choose from, would you have ever noticed me?”

“Are you trying to say you don’t love me?”

She ought to. That was what she’d planned to do, but she couldn’t make herself say the words. She wasn’t any good at lying.

“I should have told you about St. Louis before now, but I had no idea your interest in me was more than a desire to be helpful. If I’d ever believed there was any chance of a stronger attachment, I’d have told you, and you’d have known any relationship between us is impossible.”

“You said the police never had any charges against you. I know you could never be a party to an embezzlement.”

“I could be lying. You told me people came West to get away from their past mistakes. How do you know I’m not doing exactly that?”

“You could never lie. You’re much too concerned with the welfare of other people. That’s part of the reason you’re so upset about this beef contract. You’re worried about the Indians.”

“Then you can understand why I can’t marry you. I know you haven’t asked me and maybe didn’t intend to, but I couldn’t in any case.”

Bryce’s smile of amused concern vanished, to be replaced by a look she hadn’t seen before. It was a look of steely determination that would brook no opposition. “Who’s been talking to you? What did they say? If it was Sarah’s mother, I’ll—”

“No one said anything. I’ve known all along I wasn’t suited for a society life in Philadelphia or politics in Washington, D.C. I would have told you so if I’d had any notion what would happen.”

“You could have told me two nights ago.”

“Why? You told me you loved me. You didn’t ask me to marry you.”

“You knew that was what I meant”

“I hoped, but I didn’t know.”

“If you hoped, then why—”

“I wouldn’t be the first woman to hope for what I couldn’t have. Maybe I thought I could learn the rules of society, even learn how to meet famous and powerful people without stammering.”

“You can do anything you put your mind to. You’ve proved that.”

“But once that lawyer said I was wanted for embezzlement in St. Louis, I knew any future for us together was impossible. Having a wife suspected of a crime would ruin your career.”

“But you weren’t charged.”

“That won’t make any difference. I was investigated. The only reason I wasn’t arrested is that they couldn’t find any evidence against me. People think I was involved, that at least I knew what Albert was doing and approved of it.”

“But you told him you’d turn him in if he didn’t return the money.”

“If I’d been the one to turn him in, they might have believed me. When I didn’t, it was only my word against his.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“I do. I won’t be responsible for ruining your career.”

“I can quit the army, not go into politics.”

“No! This is what you’ve wanted all your life. Zeb told me you got notice of your promotion today, that you can leave as soon as you like. You said Sarah’s father wanted to see if he could handle his own command, so you’ve got someone to take over until the army finds someone to replace you. There’s no reason for you to wait. You and Pamela can leave tomorrow.”

“I love you, Abby Pierce. I want to marry you.”

“You think you do. Maybe you
really
do,” she said, when he began to protest, “but you’ve been stuck out here with no one to look at but me. After nearly three years, any unattached female would look good. You don’t know how you’ll feel once you’re back in Philadelphia.”

“I know enough not to tell a woman I love her unless I’m sure. No matter where I go, my feelings for you won’t change.”

“I hope they will,” Abby said. She took a big bream. “You have to go back East without me.”

Chapter Twenty-four

Bryce couldn’t understand how Abby could think he would change his mind. He’d accepted her explanation without question because he knew she wasn’t a thief. He wasn’t a fool. He knew such a thing might cause trouble sometime in the future, but he wasn’t about to let Abby suffer for something she didn’t do. Leaving without her was out of the question. He wanted everyone in Philadelphia, especially his mother, to know right from the start that he had a woman he loved and intended to marry. No political marriage for him. He wanted love, and this time he knew he’d got it right.

He took her in his arms despite her resistance. “I’m not leaving Fort Lookout without you. I’d like for us to be married in Philadelphia with all my family and friends gathered around, but where it happens isn’t important.”

“It’s much too soon to make decisions like that. We haven’t talked about any of this. We’ve only known for two days that we care for each other.”

“Days and hours don’t matter. Even if I’d only known for a minute, I’d be just as certain as I am now.” He didn’t understand her hesitation.

“I can’t be sure of my mind quite as quickly,” Abby said. “There’s a lot to consider. Your career, your family, Pamela—”

“Pamela loves you. She’ll be ecstatic when I tell her.”

“You can’t tell her.”