The Independent Bride (35 page)

“You brought only two tents?” Bryce asked.

“We brought six, but the others got washed away, too. We can look for them tomorrow once the floodwaters recede, but we’ve got only the one for tonight.”

Abby didn’t know what to do. It seemed selfish to have a tent to herself when the men had to sleep outside on the ground. Yet she knew she wouldn’t get a wink of sleep if she slept outside. Just knowing she was within reach of any wild animal that ventured by would keep her awake.

“Miss Pierce ought to stay at the ranch house,” Collier said.

“I’ll take her back now,” Bryce said.

“They have only two bedrooms,” Abby said. “All those boys will have to sleep outside, and it might rain again.”

“You could ride back to the fort,” Collier suggested.

Abby looked toward Brycc.

“We couldn’t reach it until nearly midnight. It would take us half of tomorrow just to get back to where we are now.”

“If the men can sleep out, so can I,” Abby said.

“You’ll have my tent,” Bryce said.

“Where will you sleep?”

“With the men.”

“It’s my fault you’re out here in the first place,” Abby said. “I should be the one to sleep out.”

“I apologize for pulling rank, but I’m the commander. I decide who will do what.”

“You can’t order me around. I’m a civilian.”

“As long as you’re part of an army operation, you’re as much under my command as these men.”

Abby had always believed marriage put women too much under the power of men. She hadn’t realized military rules were even more confining.

“If you give me a couple of men, I could go back to the fort,” she said.

“The troop isn’t large enough to split.”

Bryce had blocked her at every turn.

“I’ll agree to sleep in the tent if you will, too,” Abby said to Bryce.

“It would ruin your reputation,” Bryce said.

“I can’t believe even a libertine would attack a woman with ten soldiers only yards away.”

Bryce’s smile appeared to be trying to break through. “You do like getting your own way, don’t you?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I expect so, but I’ve never met anyone who made it a crusade.”

“I’m just doing what I must to earn a living.”

“Your
earning a living
has kept me busier than the Indians or the rustlers combined.”

“I didn’t ask you to follow me everywhere I went.”

“No, but since you won’t take my advice about where not to go and what not to do, I’m forced to do what I can to protect you. Do we have a cot for Miss Pierce?” Bryce asked Collier.

“Yes.”

“I don’t need a cot,” Abby said “The ground is still wet from the rain,” Bryce pointed out.

“Then you’ll get wet,” she said to Bryce.

“I’ll spread my rain slicker on the ground.”

She’d forgotten he carried a rain slicker in his saddlebags.

Abby was uncomfortable for the rest of the evening. She had nothing to do but watch while the soldiers put up the one tent. Bryce insisted it be set up a little distance from the rest of the troops to give her privacy. He wanted to set up a watch, but Abby refused to be responsible for any soldiers being dragged from their beds in the middle of the night She said if Bryce couldn’t protect her while sleeping in the same tent, the fort needed a new commander.

Getting ready for bed would be easy. She would sleep in her chemise. The storm had turned the creek muddy, so there was no place to wash her face or brush her teeth. Her preparations devolved to removing her shoes and brushing her hair.

“Is that cot comfortable enough for you?” Bryce asked from the opened flap. He hadn’t set foot inside the tent. The canvas cot felt as hard as a rock. “It’s fine.”

“You’ll need a blanket It can get very cold at night especially after a rain.”

“Do the men have enough blankets?”

“I’m sure they do.”

Bryce probably assumed the men could sleep with nothing over them while she needed several blankets to keep warm. She felt guilty enough already without knowing she had deprived anyone of his blanket “I’d like to see for myself.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“I believe you’re generally truthful, but I’m sure there are times when you give me the answer you think I ought to have rather man the one that is strictly accurate.”

Bryce smiled. “In other words, you don’t trust me.”

“Not entirely.” She turned to Lieutenant Collier. “Do all of the men have blankets?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Do they
have enough to keep them warm?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“There’s no use trying to fool her,” Bryce said to the lieutenant. “She’s going to find out anyway. I expect the only blanket any man has is his saddle cloth. They’ll use their saddles for pillows and their rain slickers to keep warm.”

“Is that so?” she asked the lieutenant.

“No, ma’am.” He looked pleased with himself. “I instructed the men to bring their bedrolls. Having a tent overhead won’t keep a man dry, but his bedroll will.”

“Good thinking,” Bryce told the young lieutenant. “I knew mere was a reason I picked you to lead the patrol.”

“You picked me because all the other officers have wives,” Collier said with a cheeky grin. “They don’t like it when he sends their husbands out unless there’s real trouble,” he explained to Abby. “That’s why lowly officers like me get these details.” He suddenly looked embarrassed at something. Bryce laughed.

“And here I was thinking your smooth tongue would make you a general before you turned thirty,” Bryce said.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asked.

“Just an army joke,” Bryce said. “You’d better make sure your men have taken advantage of your excellent planning,” Bryce said to the lieutenant, who quickly took his leave.

“He said something he shouldn’t, didn’t he?” Abby asked.

“It was nothing important. It’s time for bed.”

Abby wasn’t ready to go to bed just yet She was too anxious about sharing the tent with Bryce. That didn’t make any sense because she was certain he wouldn’t so much as touch her hand without her consent. Maybe she was agitated because of what she
wanted
him to do.

Until she’d arrived at Fort Lookout, she’d behaved in a circumspect manner her entire life. Neither her thoughts nor her body had betrayed her. Now she wanted what she couldn’t have, what she shouldn’t want.

Why was she having such a difficult time over a man who didn’t want to be involved with her any more than she wanted to be involved with him? But that was the problem: She
did
want to be involved him, and she believed he wanted to be involved with her.

“I’m too restless to go to bed yet,” she said to Bryce. “I’ll take a short walk.”

“You can’t go by yourself.”

“With this much moonlight, it’s practically like day.”

“Nevertheless, you can never tell what kind of danger might lurk in the shadows.”

“Maybe one of the soldiers wouldn’t mind going with me.”

“I’ll go,” Bryce said.

“You’re the commander. Your duty is to the men.”

“Lieutenant Collier is in charge of the men. I have no responsibility at the moment other than to make sure you’re safe.”

“I thought you were always responsible for your men.”

“I’m the commander. I can make my own rules.”

“What would General Sheridan think if he heard that?”

“He’d probably ask why I hadn’t sent you back to St. Louis yet.”

“I’d tell him I refused to go.”

“Not one refuses General Sheridan, not even stubborn civilian women.”

“Then I’m glad you’re here instead of him.” That came out sounding like something she didn’t intend to say.

“So am I.”

She refused to let herself think of what he might mean by that. He might be strongly attracted to her, but he intended to go back East to look for a wife. There was no middle ground mere.

“When I first got here, I couldn’t understand why people wanted to move out here,” she said as she started walking away from the camp. “It seemed too hot or cold, too wet or dry, and filled with hostile Indians.”

“And what have you decided?” Bryce asked, falling into step with her.

“That most of them came for the wrong reasons. They want land, space, freedom, but they wanted it to be like it was back East. By concentrating on how it differs from back East, they miss the challenges that excite people brave enough to try hard things, new things.”

“It’s a harsh land,” Bryce said, “but it has a majesty, a grandeur unmatched in the East. Seeing the snowcapped mountains in winter is worth the hot, dry summers.”

“You don’t sound like a man who can’t wait to go back East”

“I just appreciate what the West has to offer. The mountains are not only beautiful in the winter, they’re cool and inviting in the summer. You’ve never tasted water until you’ve drunk from a sparkling mountain stream or eaten fresh fish until you’ve tasted trout pulled from the water and put straight into the pan. In the spring the prairie is an endless, waving ocean of grass and flowers. What I find most extraordinary is the sense of limitless space. You can see for miles in all directions. In the mountains you can see peaks stretching far into the distance. At night the sky is endless, the canopy of stars beyond counting. Here, look up now. Have you ever seen anything like that before?”

“I never paid much attention to the sky before.”

“I guess people in cities don’t. Their minds are as rigidly confined as their bodies.”

“Do you like it here?” she asked.

“I was sure I wouldn’t when I received my assignment, but I’ve grown to like it very much.”

Much to her surprise, she had, too. She wondered what Moriah would think of that.

They’d walked well away from the camp by now. Beyond them the swollen creek carried its burden of silt and debris to unknown destinations. She wondered whether Lieutenant Collier would ever find the other tents. She shivered.

“Are you cold?”

“A little.” She thought it was more nerves than the temperature.

“Let me give you my coat.”

“No. You’d be cold and I’d be hot.”

“Then I’ll put my arm around you.”

Not giving her an opportunity to object, he stepped behind her, leaned her back against him, and closed his arms around her. She felt engulfed. “Is that better?”

Not trusting her voice, she nodded.

Why was this happening to her? She didn’t trust men. She didn’t want to get married. She didn’t want to be controlled by anyone. She wanted to build her own life, to be independent. She had come West to escape men, not to find one.

Well, she
hadn’t
found one, because Bryce didn’t want her the way she wanted him.

“There’s something about looking at the sky at night that has a way of making your troubles seem awfully small,” Bryce said.

“Mine seem gigantic.”

“That’s because you’re too close to them. When I look at the sky and see how enormous it is, I realize my part of the world is so small as to be insignificant. That makes my problems feel small, too.”

If staring at the sky could do that for Abby, she vowed she’d build an observation deck on the store. Moriah would think she was nuts, but anything for peace of mind.

“Maybe when I get my life as well ordered as yours, my problems won’t seem so big.”

Bryce turned her around in the circle of his arms. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll take care of you.”

It was hard to think with her body pressed against his. She could feel the hard power of his thighs, the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his arms. She could also feel the heat pouring from his body into hers. It took all her concentration to keep her mind on what he was saying. She didn’t like feeling she was facing her problems alone, but she didn’t expect Bryce to solve them for her. He wouldn’t always be here. She had to learn to stand on her own two feet.

“Thank you for the offer, but the store is the way I will support myself, so it’s my responsibility.”

“Don’t get your back up. I just want you to know I’ll be here if you need help.”

“That’s not what
take care of you
means where I come from.”

“What does in mean in St. Louis?”

Abby was having difficulty understanding just how Bryce saw his relationship with women. She had been born into a rigid social structure where the lines of acceptable behavior were clearly drawn. A man’s relationship with a woman was intended to lead to marriage or he kept his distance. Friendship could exist between men and women who’d grown up together, but it faded after marriage. Except for a kiss on the hand or possibly a welcoming kiss on the cheek, physical contact was not allowed. Apparently society people behaved differently.

He didn’t appear to be any more than moderately attracted to her, but her physical attraction to him was almost too strong for her to control. She had never considered making love to any man except her husband, yet she’d thought about making love to Bryce. And it petrified her.