The Kiss on Castle Road (A Lavender Island Novel) (20 page)

CHAPTER 18

“How am I going to explain this to Olivia?” Natalie asked to the crunching of her shoes along the gravel, right next to Elliott’s.

They were nearly at the bottom now, and Natalie was exhausted. Her USO costume was rumpled and dirty and torn at the sleeve. Her shoe strap was broken from when they’d fallen in the dirt, and the heel was wobbling. Her hat was falling off, and her makeup was probably all over her face, her lipstick eaten off from chewing her lip all the way down the mountain and wondering how she was going to explain this to everyone.

But, man, explain she’d have to.

She’d have to tell Olivia about her cart. She’d have to come up with several thousand dollars and a plan to pay her back. She’d have to explain to Paige about that kiss and how it wouldn’t end their bet. She might have to explain to Becky about that kiss and how she wasn’t getting in the way. And mostly she had to explain to
herself
about that kiss. And what honestly drove it, and how she was
not
getting attached to Elliott Sherman—tears, hugs, gratitude, return kiss, and attraction to his dancing jaw muscles notwithstanding.

Maybe if she said it to herself enough times she’d believe it.

“We can call an insurance company in the morning,” Elliott said.

“We?”

“Or you. I can help. And I can help you pay for it, if you need.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I want to help.”

Natalie shot him a glance. He probably did. Elliott was too sweet for words, and all she could do was deny everything about him, including how she was falling for him by the minute. Those moments earlier—the moment he’d saved her out of the golf cart, the moment he’d moved her around the bison, the way he’d let her cling to him and cry into his shirt, the way his hand had felt cradling the back of her head, the way he’d kissed with a talent that curled her toes—those were all too close to a flame.

Natalie had felt herself falling—into him, into his arms, into his chest, into a fire of feeling she didn’t want to observe too closely because it felt too scary and raw. She’d never let herself be so vulnerable with another human being—and especially a man she didn’t know very well—and it was causing all her self-preservation tactics to go on high alert. She felt she’d been too close to another kind of dangerous ledge—not just the one the cart had teetered on but one that would take her heart over the edge, knock it around on some rocks, and dump it into the canyon below. She knew she needed to distance herself.

“I’ll handle it,” she said.

Elliott was so different from the men she’d known in the past, the dates that had flashed and burned. Those were actual dates, and usually a spontaneous combustion of sorts, with lots of lust fueling them but no feeling. And when the lust ended—the need satiated, the curiosity filled—there was nothing left.

But with Elliott, things were different. It was a slowly growing attraction. She was filled with so much feeling toward him—tenderness, care, the need to protect him from bad girlfriends and bad dates. And every time there was a physical touch, her feelings became
more
intense, not less. The kinder he got, the sexier he got. Each new feeling, each new thing she learned about him, each new link of connection made him more and more attractive to her. And, from there, each touch came alive with a thousand new volts.

Pressing in with the terror of being too close to feelings she didn’t know what to do with, she also felt shame for her earlier driving bravado and the fact that she could have gotten him killed.

She just wanted to get away from him right now and not look him in the eye. Her emotions were all over the place.

“I’m just going to cut through here, at the bottom of the hill,” she said.

“I’m absolutely
not
letting you walk home all by yourself like this. Let’s get my cart. It’s only two blocks that way.”

“I’m fine.” She started in the direction she wanted.

“Natalie, stop.” He frowned at her. “What’s wrong? What happened in the last five minutes?”

She couldn’t let her eyes rest on how sexy and protective he looked right now. And she didn’t want her gaze to fall anywhere near his lips.

“Nothing,” she said, directing her attention to a night-blooming jasmine plant. “I’m just . . .
tired
. And glad you’re okay. And glad I’m okay. And I could’ve gotten us killed. And I’m sorry. And I just want to go home.”

“Please let me take you home.”

“But it’s right there.” She pointed lamely.

“Then we’ll both walk.”

She rolled her eyes and started for her back alleyway. If he wanted to follow her, fine. He’d have to walk all the way back to his cart if he did, but that was his call.

She stomped to Olivia’s place—around the back fence, down the alleyway, past the old tin garbage cans put out for the week, past Mrs. Freeman’s cat hiding in the oleander bush, past the trellis of morning glories that were all closed up for the night, past the gerbera daisies she’d planted just this morning. Elliott was still behind her.

She’d never had a man follow her all the way home before to make sure she got there safely. Even though she’d always selected big, tough-looking men to scare off the leering ones, their size and bluster tended to be for show. When it came to truly caring about her well-being—like whether or not she got home safely—they were nowhere to be found. Or they were still in the bar trying to pick another fight, caring more about how they looked to other men than her.

Natalie sighed as she and Elliott arrived at Olivia’s back door.

“Thank you,” she said over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.” She jiggled the handle the way they always did to be let into the cottage, and slipped inside.

She just wanted to get away from her feelings, away from this night, away from Elliott’s sincere protectiveness, away from his velvet lips, and especially away from his confused, half-lidded eyes.

Elliott wasn’t exactly sure what had just happened, or what he’d done wrong, but he knew it was something. He watched Natalie slide through her sister’s barely opened door without so much as a backward glance, noted the gerbera daisies he’d given her that were now planted by the doorway, and turned to stare out into the night.

He headed for his golf cart and replayed the last half hour in his head. Why had she quieted down like that? He hadn’t said anything much in the last ten minutes, so it couldn’t have been something he said. But, then again, maybe
that
was the problem—maybe it was something he
didn’t
say? But what would that be? How should he have known? Did other men know? Would the Colonel have known? Would John-O? It must be something obvious because she looked awfully pissed.

Damn, women were confusing.

His golf cart was the last one in the Shore Thing parking lot, and he swung himself in and started the ignition, heading up to the other side of town. He had one more task to finish tonight. Another thing that would take some courage. And it was probably waiting for him in lounge clothes with a bunch of dogs locked in a separate room . . .

He was clearly not cut out for this.

After tonight, he was sticking to microbiology.

Natalie woke the next morning and stepped up to the plate in every way she could think of: She told Olivia everything that happened, called the insurance company, met the agent out at the hill to take pictures and show where the cart had gone over and where the bison had been. She came back to discuss a payment plan with Olivia, then took Lily and Paige out on a picnic on the beach so she could talk to her sister.

Elliott had called and left four messages, but she hadn’t returned any of them yet. She wasn’t quite ready to deal with him, or her changing feelings. But, while running away seemed easier, and the way she would normally have done things, she knew it wasn’t the right thing anymore. She finally texted that she was fine and would call him soon. She took a deep breath and told herself she could get through this.

“So how did the rest of the evening go?” Paige asked as they laid out their beach chairs and towels.

“Can I go down?” Lily asked, pointing at the water.

“Yes, but only to your waist.”

They watched Lily dancing through the shore break and set up their picnic lunch. Natalie told Paige the whole story, starting with Marie’s big reveal, Natalie’s surprise at seeing the Colonel at the hotel, and her bigger surprise at seeing Elliott at the table. By the time she got to the part about the bison, Paige gaped at her.

“No!”

“Yes, I don’t know where that bison came from.”

“So what happened next?”

Once Natalie described her fear and terror, she hoped the kiss would explain itself. But Paige was sharply shaking her head.

“I definitely won,” Paige said.

“Paige! No. I’m still on my mancation. I’m not
dating
him. He was heading down to Becky’s house for his real date—I’m sure he’s sleeping with her. The kiss meant nothing romantic. And that’s the last I saw of him.”

Paige looked at her skeptically. “How long did this kiss last?”

“How long?”

“That’s right.”

Natalie ran it back through her mind, embarrassed that it was on speed dial because she’d already run it back through her mind forty times. “Maybe three seconds?”

“Three?”

“Maybe four.”

“Wait,
four
?”

“Okay, maybe five . . .”

Paige sighed and stared out at the ocean. She ran her feet through the sand a few times. “Natalie, you can’t keep kissing this guy and telling me you’re still on a mancation. You say it’s for instruction or comfort or whatever, but the fact is, you’ve kissed him three times. And five seconds is a long time for a comfort kiss. Bets don’t work this way.”

Natalie couldn’t help but lower her eyes. Paige was right. Her feelings toward Elliott were suspect at best. Damn, did she really just fall so quickly for another man? What was
wrong
with her? And were her feelings true anyway? Or did she just do that because he was available and yet off-limits? She watched the waves roll into shore and wondered if she’d really become a woman so dependent on men she couldn’t even—

“Double or nothing,” Paige blurted.

“What?”

“Double or nothing. I think you’re slipping, but I have faith in you. I know you’re not weak. I know you can do this. I know you can last one season without a man to lean on. You can, right?”

“Of course,” Natalie snapped without thinking.

“Then double or nothing.”

“Seven hundred dollars?”

“Seven hundred.”

The ocean waves crashed in front of them, and Natalie thought that over. Surely she was strong enough to be without a boyfriend for two more friggin’ weeks, right? She definitely had feelings toward Elliott, but she could control them properly, couldn’t she? It would give her a chance anyway to explore what her feelings were exactly, and make sure she wasn’t just using him because he was one of the only twentysomethings on the island she enjoyed being around. She could cool her attraction and her obsession with his forearms and live independently for that short a time.
Couldn’t
she?

“Okay, you’re on.”

“Another kiss
ends
it, Natalie.”

“Fine. Another kiss ends it, no matter what.”

“And I need your whole three-month stay now.”

Natalie stared back at her. “The
whole three months
?” she asked weakly.

“That’s right.”

Natalie watched Lily leap through the sea foam as a family of seagulls squawked overhead. The whole three months? That would probably mean she’d never get to date Elliott at all. It’s not as if she could wait the mancation out and then go out with him only seconds before she returned to the mainland. That wouldn’t be right anyway. If she knew he was waiting on the other end of her mancation, it wasn’t much of a mancation, now was it? Paige was right. Either Paige had won right now, and Natalie had to admit she couldn’t live without a man, or Natalie should keep betting. If she couldn’t keep betting, Paige had every right to win.