The Kiss on Castle Road (A Lavender Island Novel) (29 page)

Elliott ran his hand through his hair. Easier said than done. What did the Colonel know about how Natalie felt? Neither of them knew that. If Elliott could figure that out, he wouldn’t be—

“And I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if I even know what I’m talking about. But don’t. I’m not senile.
Yet
anyway. I’ve been around this block a few times, and I’ve been watching you two, and I know the real deal when I see it.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence, Colonel, but it’s not that easy. She just broke up with me.”

“Broke up with you? How could she break up with you? You haven’t even asked her on a proper date yet.”

A rueful smile escaped Elliott’s lips. “Yeah, that might have been my problem. But she basically gave me the heave-ho on the beach just now.”

“That can’t be right. What did she say?”

“She’s not into marriage, Colonel.”

“
MARRIAGE?
Damn, son, I’m not talking about marriage. How could you bring up marriage to a woman who’s afraid to commit?”

“How do you know she’s afraid to commit?”

“She’s got it written all over her.
Don’t be dense.
You can’t go from zero to sixty with a girl like that. Just baby steps. Don’t freak her out. Just ask her out—take it slow. You two are meant to be. Just don’t screw it up.”

Elliott nodded. Maybe he’d simply been going at it all wrong. He hadn’t meant for her to find that note about marriage, but now that it was out there, he’d just have to deal with it—with his true feelings, her true feelings, and lay it all on the line.

“It’ll be the scariest thing you ever do, putting your heart out there for a girl you’re in love with, but nothing’s more worthwhile in the end,” the Colonel said. “But you have to tell people how you feel. Don’t trade fear of rejection for the possibility of a lifetime of happiness. And time is of the essence, kid. With love, time is always of the essence. Don’t waste time you could be spending with her. I, for one, know that. I lay in bed all last night thinking I wasn’t going to wake up this morning.”

“What?”

“Heart hurt. Probably just heartburn. But I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of urgency.”

Elliott reached for his elbow. “Colonel, do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“Of course not. I have things to do. But you’re missing my point. What I mean is—”

“Hey, you two,” said a third voice behind them.

Elliott whirled around to see Jim. “
You’re
here, too?”

“Yeah, the Colonel called and wanted me to help him check on Mr. Warbler. What are you doing here?”

“Just getting ready to type up some notes.”

“Where were you this morning?” Jim lifted a clipboard from the wall.

“This morning?”

“Nell and I stopped by to get you for breakfast. You bailed on us.”

Elliott’s mind whirled to remember their plans.
That’s right. Damn.
He’d been trying to be better about this plan-making thing with people, but he’d been a bit distracted last night and this morning . . .

“You came over?” he verified, wondering how he’d missed this.

“Yeah, we went inside but didn’t see you, and then we noticed your keys were gone but not your phone. Were you running or something?”

“No, I went for bagels.” Elliott’s mind continued whirring with the timetable on this. If he’d been gone, but Jim and Nell were inside his place, had they seen Natalie? Had she seen them?

Before he could formulate the right question to ask, Jim grinned and elbowed him.

“Looked like you might have had an overnight guest, too,” Jim said. “I’d hoped it was Natalie. I saw an extra lanyard and set of keys that I recognized as hers.”

“What?” The Colonel snapped his head up.

“Elliott finally scored, Colonel.”

The Colonel turned and frowned hard at Elliott. “You’re doing everything out of order,” he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m glad you got together with her, man,” Jim said, walking to the other side of the room. “I really like her. You guys would make a great couple. Nell was a little upset about it, though. She was going on and on about how worried she was for you and how she thought you should focus on Vanessa instead.”

Elliott frowned as he continued to put the pieces together. “What do you mean?”

“She was telling me that Natalie was too young and didn’t have a job and was too much of a ‘wounded bird’ for you.” Jim made air quotes.

Elliott’s back stiffened. “Where were you talking about this?”

“Kitchen.” Jim turned to look for another clipboard. “I wanted to stop for a second and talk to her about this because—hey, where are you going?”

“Gotta go,” Elliott yelled over his shoulder. “Where’s Nell?”

“Home.”

“And thanks, Colonel.”

Elliott took off at a run down the brick walkway.

The ballroom was decked out from top to bottom in crystal, white and silver, all reflecting the late-afternoon light. The chandeliers sparkled above, reflecting in the mirrored centerpieces within twenty tablecloth-clad round tables stretching across the room, each with a tall crystal vase that rose toward the ceiling. The vases were filled with tall white forsythia branches and a low ring of potted white hydrangeas, surrounded by tiny crystal votive candles that, tonight, would cast each table in an enchanted glow.

Natalie took one more sweep of the room, wiped her hands on her jeans, and decided everything looked perfect.

The whole Senior Prom planning crew had been there most of the afternoon—Doris, Marie, Judy, and all the others—setting out candles, flowers, and mirrored confetti; decorating the refreshments table; and making sure the evening’s agenda was memorized. Natalie had finally sent them all home to rest up and spend the remainder of the afternoon primping—getting their hair and nails done, zipping into their new dresses, and welcoming their children and grandchildren. The band would set up the sound system and the dance floor around four, and the catering staff would arrive in the evening to do the last few touches for the fondue fountain, champagne fountain, and lighting.

Natalie wouldn’t mind lying down for a few minutes herself. After her embarrassing panic attack that morning with Elliott, she might need a few extra minutes to pull herself together.

“You’ve got the touch,” she heard behind her.

She spun around to see Paige, standing there with the box she’d asked her to bring. “What?”

“The touch—Mom’s decorating touch. Everyone’s counting on me to be the one to take over her business, but I think it’s going to be you. Look at this place—it looks like a royal wedding reception. It’s absolutely stunning, Natalie.”

Natalie couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. It made her feel good to have come through for everyone. It meant the world to hear Paige acknowledge it. Especially when she’d screwed everything else up this morning. At least she got the Senior Prom right. And her time with Lily was something she’d always cherish. And Olivia was thrilled with everything she’d done in the new baby’s room.

“Where do you want this?” Paige juggled the box.

“Let’s put it on the back table.”

Olivia had given Natalie the collection of her grandmother’s old pocket watches and small silver clock faces, which Natalie was going to arrange in a silver bowl and use as a decoration next to the cake for their theme “Time Is of the Essence.”

“I think it’s brilliant to use Gram’s pocket watches. She’d have liked that. I’m sure she’ll be here in spirit,” Paige said, pulling the watches out of the box one by one. “So are you going to go home now and get ready for your big date with Elliott tonight? I can’t wait to see him in a tuxedo.”

“He’s going with someone else.”

Paige snapped her head up. “What? I thought he was going with you.”

“He deserves better than me, Paige. And his sister seems to think so, too.”

“What?”

“She doesn’t think I’m good enough for him.” Natalie forced a smile, but she knew it came out twisted at best. “And I’m probably not. She wants him with someone who knows how to commit.”

“His sister is crazy. You’re meant for each other.”

Tears started to blur Natalie’s vision, and she had to look away.

“I’m serious. You two belong together, Nat.”

Natalie tried to smile. This was probably just how things were supposed to go.

A back door slammed, and Natalie looked up to see Doris walking in with an extra handful of napkins.

“These go on the cake table, right?” she asked.

“Doris, you’re supposed to be home getting ready,” Natalie said.

“I’m about to leave. This looks beautiful. I think it’s lovely you’re using your grandmother’s old watch faces. So pretty. We’re all going to
party
tonight, aren’t we? I can’t wait to see you dancing with Dr. Sherman, Natalie. You two are going to look smashing.”

“Natalie’s not going with Elliott,” Paige blurted out.

Doris’s head shot up.
“What?”

“That’s exactly what
I
said.” Paige rolled her eyes. “Personally, I think she’s just getting spooked.”

“I’m not getting ‘spooked.’ Elliott and I just weren’t meant to be.”

“You two are perfect for each other—everyone but you can see that. You’re just getting spooked.”

The watches suddenly didn’t look right, and Natalie shakily rearranged them in the silver bowl. “I’m not looking for a long-term relationship. And Elliott needs that.”

“Spooked,” Paige whispered to Doris.

Doris took the watches out of Natalie’s hands. She laid the bowl aside, then took each of Natalie’s hands in her own.

“Now listen here, young lady. Men like Elliott do not come along every day. Men who have staying power, and loyalty, and kindness, and who adore you with all their hearts—they are one in a million. Why would you walk away from that?”

“I just—I hadn’t planned to stay here. I can’t . . .” Her heart picked up its crazy rhythm again, and she pulled her hands out of Doris’s to press against her chest.

“Are you hyperventilating, dear?” Doris asked calmly.

Paige nodded. “She’s a commitment-phobe.”

“I can tell,” Doris said.

Natalie pressed her palms harder. Took deeper breaths. Sank into a folding chair.

“Here, have some water,” Doris said, grabbing for a bottle under the table. “How long has this been going on?”

“Just since—” Natalie sucked in some air. “A minute ago, when you said—”

“No, no, darling—I mean, how long have you had panic attacks every time the idea of commitment entered your head?”

Natalie took a few steadying breaths and glanced at Paige. Maybe Paige really had been right all this time. “I guess forever.”

“When it first made you nervous, what was it specifically that made you think it was scary?”

The water tasted so good. The parquet dance floor blurred in front of Natalie as she let gulps of water slide down her throat and thought back to other dance floors, other tulle-decked chairs, other catered parties . . .

“I guess our mom,” she finally said. “She was always moving in and out of relationships. They never seemed to work. And she told me that I shouldn’t marry until I was at least thirty. That I should keep moving, keep exploring myself.”

“I’ll attest to that,” Paige said. “But just because relationships didn’t work out for Mom doesn’t mean it wouldn’t for you. Or me. Or Olivia.”

“Exactly,” Doris said. “You have to rewrite the script in your head. It’s okay to change your mind, once you see that some relationships do work. Being committed to someone can be a very beautiful thing, dear.”

“I’m always just worried about getting stuck with someone or something. What if I make a terrible mistake?” she breathed out.

“There are no guarantees,” Doris said. “But you can’t live your life filled with worry over things that haven’t happened. What kind of life is that? Just stay in the present, darling. If you’re happy in the present, live in the present. If you’re in a relationship or a job or a home or a city that’s making you happy right now, simply live in that right now. Don’t run away from good things because they may fall apart
later
. You’ll never enjoy them fully.”

Natalie kept her hand across her chest as she thought that over; then she took another sip of water.
The
law of probability,
she thought. If something were making her happy right now, and had a 75 percent chance of making her happy tomorrow, maybe she should take a chance. She didn’t want to keep letting good things slip away.

“What if something else comes along?” she asked.

“There will always be lots of other possibilities that come along, but if you spend your energy on making yours the best—rather than looking at the other possibilities—you’ll be happy always. But you have to commit first to
feel
the deep love there.”

Natalie stared at the watches. That did make sense. She’d found that committing herself to staying here on the island for the three months did result in her taking pride and control. And she’d found so many things and people to love here. “Have you ever regretted a commitment, Doris?”