The Lake (The Lake Trilogy, Book 1) (17 page)

“That’s great, because I like them, too. I didn’t really have a lot of friends back home.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” he says.

I want to be honest with him, but I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll say too much and then the dream will be over before I’ve fully enjoyed it. I’m afraid of telling him that what little leisure time I had consisted of puzzles, game shows, and homework. How I longed for excitement but stifled it for my overbearing
and resentful grandmother. I mostly stifled myself because of my guilt. I was utterly and completely boring and no one wanted to be friends with a geriatric baby sitter. I want to tell him all these things and more, but I can’t. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I want to be different and create a new life here. He’s risking so much to be with me. How can I tell him that I’m really not worth it?

“Well…I was really focused on taking care of my grandparents…so…not a lot of time for friends.” I take a bite of my sandwich and wait for his response. I haven’t given what I would consider a satisfactory response, but it will have to do for now.

“I think that’s really admirable, Layla. Not a lot of people, let alone someone our age, would give up so much to take care of someone else. We’re all so…self-absorbed, so consumed with ourselves.” His eyes turn serious and introspective. “You should always be proud of what you did and who you are, and anyone who didn’t take the opportunity to know you when they could is a fool.”

“You give me too much credit. I…thanks.” I can’t tell him. It’s too soon. I change the subject to the first thing about him that comes to mind. “So, tell me more about your non-ivy league dreams. If you don’t want to follow
in your father’s footsteps, what
do
you want to do?”

He hesitates. “It’s not that I don’t want to follow in his footsteps...necessarily. I want to be successful like him, just in my own way. You know, without threatening and manipulating people? I love my dad because he’s my dad. But…he’s a very,
very
determined individual. When he sets his mind to something, it happens, which is why we have to be careful. He’s like a rocket – completely unstoppable. It makes it hard to have a reasonable conversation with him, because if you don’t agree with
him
, you’re being unreasonable. He can’t grasp the idea that money isn’t the most important thing to some people.”

“Why
isn’t
money important to you?”

“Why
should
it be?” His question is hard. He doesn’t understand my meaning and his immediate reaction tells me I hurt his feelings.

“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I’m genuinely curious why someone with more money than I can fathom isn’t interested in a single dime of it
, but I should have known better than to ask. Will has done nothing but prove his disdain for the kind of wealth his father propagates and I disregarded that in six little words.

“I’m sorry. I get worked up when it comes to my dad. And…I’m nervous. You make me nervous,” he says shyly.

“I make you nervous?” I ask in astonishment. This makes me smile and I relish in this moment before Will speaks again.

“Layla, this is a big deal, how I feel about you. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“How I feel about you is a big deal, too. But…I have to warn you, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” I turn away from him, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry. We’re in this together. I promise,” he says lifting my chin with his hand.

“But your dad…”

“Layla, it’s not about you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…you could be anyone. He doesn’t understand me
, or
any
of the choices I make. I told you before that I really like the work I’m doing with your uncle. My dad thinks I’m too smart for
that kind of work
. He doesn’t understand the satisfaction it brings me, and he certainly won’t understand what I see in you.” His eyes are suddenly brighter – confirmation that his passion is deeper than the number of zeros in his bank account. He quickly changes directions, “Ok. This is decidedly the worst first-date conversation ever! I promise not to be so deep and depressing next time.”

“You think there’s going to be a next time?” I say, teasing him and helping to lighten the mood.

“What? You’re not impressed with my moonlight picnic?” He spreads his arms out to feature his handy work.

“I’m
very
impressed. You’ve ruined it for any other guy,” I say, laughing with him.

“I don’t plan on giving any other guy a chance to outdo me.” His passionate stare makes me nervously excited. “I’m…drawn to you, Layla. I’ve never felt that way before. I’m with you and it’s like…lightening in a bottle. I’m sorry that it took tragedy to bring you here, but I am
so
glad you’re here.”

I’m filled with so much joy that my whole body tingles. “You make me happy, Will. It’s been a long time since I felt truly happy, so…thank you.”

“No, thank
you
. I can’t believe you’re braving so much to be with me.”

“That’s what you do when you care about someone as much as I care about you.” I smile knowing that my mom would be proud.

Will picks up his bottle of soda and clanks mine in a toast. We spend the next hours laughing and talking about the important
un
important things in life like favorite colors and foods. We compare embarrassing childhood stories and share the woes and thrills of being only children. It’s hard to talk about my childhood without saying too much about my parents. I’m not ready to tell him everything, and not sure I could get through talking about them without breaking down. But with every moment that passes, I’m thrust into a place of connectivity I didn’t know existed. I hang on every word Will says. I feel wanted with every question he asks, but inadequate with every answer I give. He deserves more than my boring life but doesn’t hesitate once during his inquiry of the details of my life. He wants to know me just as much as I want to know him. There isn’t a second of silence in those hours.

We eventually pack up the picnic, take our shoes off, and sit at the edge of the dock. He sits so close I can hear his breathing and feel the warmth of his body. It’s intoxicating and I never want to move from his side. I am so completely comfortable in his presence. It’s like this moment was ordained since the beginning of time. I can’t imagine there being anyone better than Will, nor can I imagine anything better than sitting next to him in this very spot at this very moment.

The moon is brilliant and bright and I’m so in awe of it that I don’t think about what I do next. Without a word, I lay back on the dock to get a fuller, more comfortable view of the moon. Will follows my lead and lies next to me. Then, eyes staring at the incomprehensible glow, he reaches over and quietly slips his hand in mind. This moment is different than in the car. We’ve connected in a deeper, more passionate way since then. A shock surges through my body and I take one solitary deep breath to savor the moment.

It’s only a few minutes before I am completely overwhelmed. The emotions of everything I’ve been through in the past weeks and months are coming to a head and I can’t stop it from pouring out. I try to fight the tears back, but it’s too much.

“Layla, are you crying?” He sits up and effortlessly pulls me upright with him. I hate that he’s seeing me cry. I need to be stronger than this.

“No.” I lie, although I don’t know why since the tears streaming down my face are evident.

“Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry,” he says. He’s the only good thing in my life and he thinks
he
upset me. Impossible.

“You didn’t do anything, Will. I just…it’s been an overwhelming time in my life. You’ve come to me at just the right moment.” In one smooth motion Will puts his arm around me and draws me to him. I lean against his shoulder and bury my face into his chest finding comfort. His arms wrap around me like a warm blanket and I realize it’s the safest I’ve felt in years. It’s at this exact moment that no matter what happens I know my heart will forever belong to Will Meyer.

I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here…me nestled in Will’s embrace. It doesn’t matter. I could rest here forever. At some point it occurs to me that Luke said I needed to be home by midnight. I
am
home, and I can stay out here with Will, in his arms, all night if I want to, but reality strikes when Will releases me and asks if I’m ok.

I take a deep breath. “I’m ok. My emotions just got the best of me. I’m so sorry. Who cries on their first date? Seriously! So embarrassing!” I wipe my face and hope my eyes aren’t too puffy.

Will gently brushes the hair out of my face. “Layla, you can cry, laugh, scream at the top of your lungs, or sit silently with me anytime. If you need to cry, I’m going to catch every tear, and I promise to do my best to never be the cause of a single one.”

I take a cleansing breath and soak up the compassion in his voice. Its calm tenor penetrates my heart and I feel immediately at ease.

“It’s pretty late. I should get home,” he sighs, checking his watch. “Wow. It’s 12:30. It’s a good thing I told Luke what I had planned for tonight.”

“You told him?” I say in surprise.

“Yes. I felt like if Luke was going to trust me with you I had to be honest with him about everything. We can’t do anything to lose their support,” he says, taking me by the shoulders.

“I agree.” I sigh, partially from crying, but mainly from simply being in Will’s presence.

We stand up and put our shoes on and start walking back to the house. We’re halfway up the path when Will needs to turn the flashlight on because the moonlight is no longer enough to sustain our vision. As we walk he takes my hand again, instinctively. It’s magical. We walk around the side of the house and back through the gate, our path lit only by the beam of the flashlight. Will releases my hand only as long as it takes to unlatch the gate and let me through. I don’t hear the crash of metal before our hands are entwined again.

We reach Will’s car and I stand next to him while he puts the backpack in the passenger seat. I’m waiting to begin our good-byes when Will puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me up the porch steps to the front door. Forever a gentleman.

He faces me and takes both my hands in his. “I had a really great time with you tonight, Layla. Actually, every moment I spend with you is amazing. I meant what I said. I’m not going anywhere.” He’s intense and holds my gaze while the earth stands still. The wind blows through the trees and crickets chirp, all in a serenade. He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you. This is happening kind of fast, huh?” It’s adorable to see Will nervous, as if he has any reason to be anxious. He has no idea that I’m already completely and irrevocably his.

I hesitate only a moment before I respond because I’ve decided that I’m
not
going to be scared. I’m not going to hold back on my feelings anymore. “Everything was perfect, Will.” I smile knowing that there isn’t one ounce of nervousness in me. “And, I’m not going anywhere either.”

Will has done what I didn’t think was possible. He has delivered me to a place of peace. A place where, with him, I don’t have to be afraid to embrace who I am and what I want. I’m delighted to see him show the smile that has become a ray of hope for me. Hope that I can go on after so much pain. Hope that this girl, who knows more about death than life, can find an existence beyond tragedy. Hope that my penance has been paid and I’m free to live again.

Will lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my waist. I intuitively lift my hands up his arms to his shoulders, and in one flawless, fluid motion Will presses his lips to mine. It’s not passionate, but sweet, like a first kiss should be. His lips are soft and smooth and his kiss is gentle. It isn’t awkward, but comfortable, like our lips were made to fit so perfectly together. We linger there for a long moment, which allows me to savor in the perfection of my first kiss.

Always the gentleman, Will pulls away first. He stares into my eyes and digs a hole into my soul with his gaze. I’m sure he can read my every thought and knows my every emotion. I wish he could. That would mean I wouldn’t have to speak the words that might change how he feels about me. The truth of how I’m responsible for my parents’ death. He’ll need to know, but I can’t tell him yet. I don’t want to wake up from this miraculous dream he has fashioned for me. I’m being selfish, I know, but I don’t care. I just want to stay right here and relish in sharing this amazing moment with him.

Will shines a satisfied grin and clears his throat, forcing himself to change the subject. “I promised Mr. Weston I’d come by tomorrow to work on the basement.”

“Oh, yeah, my surprise.” I have to think of something to say even though I’m still lost in the moment of our kiss, still feeling his lips on mine.

“I really can’t wait to show it to you. Speaking of…how about I start showing you around the city tomorrow when I’m done? This town is crazy with street names, and it’s really easy to get lost if you don’t know where you’re going.” Will still has me by the waist, and we’re still close enough to kiss. Oh how I want to kiss him again.

“I think Claire wants to show me around, but I’m sure there’s plenty of town to see, so, yeah, that sounds great. But, are you sure it’ll be ok? I mean, what if someone sees us?” I ask nervously. I don’t want anything ruined when things have barely started. He’s being awfully free with the suggestions of us spending time away from the seclusion of the house.