Authors: C.W. Gortner
of suspicion that had plagued my final years with Philip returned to haunt me and I
could no more escape it than I had when he‟d been alive.
My bastard sister, Joanna, for one, became insupportable. She headed the gaggle
of sharp-nosed women who served me in my chambers, and where before I had put
up with them, relegating them to mindless chores like cleaning out my hearths and
seeing to my bed linens, now I found such an insidious way about them that I could
not abide to look at them. I suspected that one, if not all, acted as informants and
treated them with a remote formality, as I couldn‟t refuse their services completely
without bringing undue attention to myself.
Every night after my ladies retired, I spent the hours of moon-limned silence
pacing, my doubt consuming me. The shadow unfurled its ominous wings in my
mind, growing larger, more threatening, until I feared I might truly go mad this time,
as I could no longer tell if what I felt was real or the delusions of a woman who‟d
been betrayed too many times before.
I needed confirmation and finally succumbed to what I‟d struggled against ever
since my father had come to me. I called for Beatriz and handed her a sealed missive.
Find a courier to get this to the admiral,” I told her. “I must see him.”
――――――――――――
WE MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO MEET ON THE PLAINS IN A SECLUDED woodland,
where Fernandito often went hawking. We needed cover from prying eyes and I
waited until the hour of siesta to saddle up the mare I kept stabled for my ambles
about the grounds. I had taken to riding weekly for exercise, or so I told my ladies,
and therefore no one thought anything untoward when I went out with Beatriz on her
mule to partake of the afternoon.
A slight breeze rustled the clumps of oaks and linden; from the west drifted the
brackish smell of the Duero‟s tributaries. Winter had bleached the plains of color, but
clumps of wildflowers and startling yellow broom scrub had begun to rise with the
incoming heat of summer, and I found myself gazing over the landscape with
possessive tenderness.
At the woodland entrance, we dismounted and I left Beatriz with the horses while
I proceeded alone under a whispering canopy of leaves,
At first, I thought he had not come. All I heard was the susurration of the breeze
and the crackle of twigs underfoot. It reminded me of the time I had tried to escape
Philip by taking flight over the salt flats, and I closed my eyes for a moment against
the unbidden image of the anonymous gypsy woman who had died by his hand.
Then I saw him standing by his tethered horse in a sun-dappled clearing. I
unwound my shawl from my head. He turned. I almost ran to him, for in the saffron
light he seemed like a dark statue of hope. As he bowed over my hand, I said, “My
lord, you‟ve been missed.”
“As has Your Majesty.” His gentle regard was heartrending. I searched his deep-
set cobalt eyes, arresting in the sculpted pallor of his face, and saw reflected there
what I feared.
“My father,” I stated and my words felt like jagged glass. “He works against me.”
“Yes. I would have come sooner, but I feared he‟d have me stopped or followed.
When I received your missive, I took a circuitous route. He suspects me. He knows
you place your trust in me, and he‟d not have it so.”
He paused. “I must beg your forgiveness. I made a terrible mistake in bringing
him to you., When I learned of his intent, I lifted immediate protest. I told him you
were not there to approve such a decision and he forbade me to see or correspond
with you. He did not order my arrest because of who I am, but he and Cisneros will
find a way to deprive me. They move against anyone they perceive as a threat.”
“What― what is his intent?” I heard myself say.
He tilted his head. “Is it not why you sent for me? He came to you, did he not?”
“Yes, and he was very angry. I found out he was intercepting my letters, but then
he said he was having trouble with Villena. I told him to summon the Cortes for my
coronation.”
He didn‟t speak for a long moment. Then he sighed. “Of course, that explains
why he returned to Burgos in such a rage. He did not tell you he had taken a new
wife.”
“A wife?” I startled. “My father has wed again?
“He has. He‟s betrothed himself to none other than King Louis‟s niece, Germaine
de Foix. She is on her way to Aragón as we speak.”
Germaine de Foix. I recalled sloe eyes, a pursed mouth, and a sharp voice. I had
met her in France; she had tried to steer me past the hall, stalked my heels throughout
the visit. Why did my father seek to marry a woman born in a land he had despised
and fought against all his life.
And all of a sudden, it became horribly clear. A new wife, another queen in Spain.
“He wants a son,” I breathed. “An heir for Aragón.”
“”yes.” Anger colored the admiral‟s voice. “You are now his heir-apparent and
your sons after you, but if he sires a son on Germaine, then Aragón will no longer
need Castile. Rather, it could be the other way around, for with a French alliance to
enforce hi power over the
grandes
, they‟ll not dare revolt if they think Louis will send in a army to defend him.
“Like Philip,” I said, and my heart constricted in my chest. “He uses France to
bolster his position. But my sons are also his grandsons, heirs by my mother‟s will.” I
paused, met his somber gaze. “Dear God, he would go so far just to keep them from
the throne?”
“They carry Habsburg blood. He and Cisneros are determined they can never rule
here. And that is not all, my lady. When he announced his marriage to the lords, he
spoke of one for you as well. It was then I lifted protest and gained his enmity.”
I struggled for composure, even as I felt a scream pulse inside me. “Do you know
who?”
He shook his head. “No, but whoever he is, it cannot be to your advantage. Your
Highness, he sees your sons, and therefore you, as threats. If you are our queen, then
your mother‟s succession must stand. In time, your son Charles will inherit. Your
father will fight against this to his last breath; he wants to bind Castile to him now,
and he has Cisneros‟s full approval.”
I turned away, the woodland darkening all around me. “I am being punished,” I
heard myself say aloud. “It is my punishment for what I did.”
The admiral set his hands on my shoulders, turned me back around to face him.
He looked terrible in his starkness, like a doomed knight from a childhood ghost tale.
And yet he had never seemed more beautiful to me than in that moment when he
said, “These are the ambitions of men. They are to blame, not you. You‟ve done no
wrong.”
“You do not understand,” I whispered. “I killed Philip. I poisoned him.”
I saw comprehension dawn in his eyes. He reached for my hands, looked into my
eyes as he said passionately. “You did what any queen would have done. You had no
sword or army to defend yourself with, and yet you vanquished your enemy. You are
indeed Isabel of Castile‟s daughter. She would have done the same to save her realm.
It is her legacy, alive in you.”
I could not see through my tears as he raised my chin and brought his lips to
mine, like a lover. “You must leave this place,” he said against my breath. “Take your
children and your trusted servants and make haste for Segovia. The Marquise de Moya
awaits you there. I will join you once I rally my retainers. With any luck, I can
convince some of the nobles to fight with us. We‟ll wage war on your father and win
Castile for you.”
I heard his words, felt them in my blood and my sinews; in that terrible moment, I
knew with a sudden, deep certainty what I had to do. It had been with me all this
time, the hour when I must face both my past and my future and decide my own
course. I had been a pawn blown by the vulgarities of fate for most of my life: an
innocent girl used for political alliance, a wife deceived and manipulated for her
crown. Now, at long last, I had the strength to be the woman I had always wanted to
be, the queen my mother had believed I could become.
“No,” I said. I drew back. “There can be no war. I forbid it.”
He went still. “If you do not declare war, he will win. You could face―”
“I know what I face. I‟ve known it and run from it from the day I was named heir
to this realm. I will not run anymore. Castile must come first. I‟ll not have blood spilt in my name.”
“My lady.” He gripped my hands again. “Your father will not stop until he has
what he wants. “No one can help you if you do not fight.”
“Who says I will not fight?” I said, and I gave him a tender smile. “You are right:
he will not stop, not unless I stop him. There isn‟t a place in all of Spain to shelter me.
Wherever I flee he will follow. He‟ll endanger the lives of those who love me,
including my children. And I will not risk my children, even for my throne.”
“If you want to survive, there is no other way! Please, my lady, I beg you.”
“No,” I said again and I took my hands from his, leaving a hollow inside me.
“Castile is my birthright, my legacy. No one and nothing will take it from me. I must
look my father in the eye and show him that I am not only his daughter but also the
daughter of Isabel of Castile.”
I saw him hesitate, his mouth tightening. Then he dropped to his knees before me
and I heard him say in a broken voice, “Your Majesty need only send for me and I
shall be by your side.”
I set my hands on his head, let the pain of this final loss move through me. I
whispered, “Go not, my lord. Save yourself and those who rely on you.”
I did not touch him again. I pulled my shawl about my head and I walked away,
back through the trees to Beatriz and the horses, back to Arcos and the fate that I had
decreed for myself.
Though I did not look back, I knew he was still there, watching me.
――――――――――――
I RETURNED TO THE HOUSE, evading Joanna and my other women. Once I
reached my room, I asked for Lopez to come with his paper and quill. Beatriz stood
pale-faced at my side and I dictated my summons. I pressed my signet ring into the
wax and told Lopez, “You will deliver it to him personally. Tell him I will await him
here.”
His mouth trembling as he held back his tears, my secretary bowed low.
I turned to Beatriz. She met my eyes and in her solemn gaze, I saw she would
have gone to the ends of the earth for me, if I asked it. I embraced her, holding her
close.
I then stole into my daughter‟s room. She slept amid tousled sheets, her gold
ringlets disheveled, a sheen of afternoon sweat on her brow. I had to press my hands
to my mouth to stop myself from sobbing aloud. she was still so innocent, so
unknowing of the world‟s incomprehensible cruelty. Who would tell her of me? Who
would tell her the truth? What did the future hold for these children of mine, caught
up in the maelstrom that was my life?
I bowed over her, inhaling her sweet scent. My lips grazed her cheeks. For her, I
must do this; for her, and for Fernandito; for Charles, Eleanor, Mary and Isabella.
They too were my legacy. My blood ran in their veins as surely as Philip‟s. There
would be time later for anguish. For now, I must protect them and give them the
peace I had rarely known.
Come what may, my children must survive.
――――――――――――
THEY ARRIVED FOUR DAYS LATER, at dawn. One minute the house seemed empty,
the servants just awakening to start their daily business; the next, there was a
commotion in the hall, a banging of doors and the tromping of footsteps coming up
the staircase.
I had been awake most of the night. Beatriz set my coif on my head and kissed my
hands. I set a hand to her cheek for a moment before I walked out into the corridor.
Soraya was with Catalina and Doña Josefa with my son.
The lords stood below the entranceway. I recognized the one-eyed constable,
sulfuric Villena, and sweaty Benavente. They paused, returning my stare and then they
bowed in unison, as if it were a normal occurrence for them to be here unannounced
at daybreak.
Moments later, my father entered, his riding-cape flaring behind me. He looked
up at me.
“Papá,” I said calmly. I descended the stairs. “I‟ve been expecting you.” I leaned
to kiss him on his cheek. “Shall we repair to the
sala?
You must be thirsty.”
He evaded my eyes, gesturing with his hand. The lords retreated.
I lead him into the hall. A bleary-eyed chambermaid hastened in with a decanter
and set it on the table. I poured a goblet, turned to him. He took it, not meeting my
eyes.
There still is time, I told myself. He has come with only a few of his men. I saw
no guards. If he meant ill on me, he would not have come like this. I resisted a sudden
laugh.
“
Hija,
” He finally said, and he motioned to a chair, “you should sit. I bring
important news.”
My heart started to pound. I made myself go sit, as I had so many times before as
a child.
He stood silent, looking at me. He lifted his goblet as if to sip, then went and set it
aside on the table. “I have come to you,” he began, and he stopped. He cleared his