The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced (28 page)

He arrived at the top of the stairs and
looked around the sitting room for Anna. “Do you know where Anna
is?”

Gretchen looked around. “No, maybe she went
to her room?”

Alex frowned. He could imagine Anna needed
somewhere quiet, but didn’t like the idea of her wandering around
the house alone. He turned away from the crowded sitting area and
went up to the third floor to look for Anna, vaguely aware of
Gretchen following him. His body ached for Anna and wondered if
they could sneak away before dinner for some alone time.

He began to walk down the hallway to the room
that Anna had slept in the previous night when Gretchen grabbed his
hand. “Alex, why on earth did you marry that silly little
girl?”

“Excuse me?” Alex asked, irritated at
Gretchen’s tone.

Gretchen stepped forward and put her hands on
his chest. For the second time in a matter of minutes, Alex removed
her hands from him but she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and
kissed him on the mouth.

Alex pushed her away, harder than he’d meant
to, but it had the desired effect. She looked at him, amazed, and
his eyes hardened as he glared at her. “What the fuck do you think
you’re doing?”

“Oh, Alex, don’t look at me like that,” she
said. “You never minded before.”

“That was quite a while ago, Gretchen. I
haven’t approached you since I got home.”

Gretchen had hinted many times since he’d
been home that she wanted to pick up on things where they left off
when Alex came to visit a year ago. They’d had a brief affair,
mostly because Alex didn’t have anything better to do and he was
still angry about Mina’s death. Kurt didn’t care what Gretchen did
and it saved Alex from having to go into town for a conquest for
the evening.

“And she’s the reason why?” Gretchen rolled
her eyes. “She said that she didn’t come here to marry you. That
she didn’t even want to come.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “How did you get on
that topic of conversation with her?”

Gretchen looked innocent. “We were just
chatting.”

“Did you say something to upset her?” he
asked in a low voice. He wouldn’t put it past Gretchen to try and
upset Anna, and Anna was easily upset. Especially now that she was
pregnant.

Gretchen maintained her innocent look. “I
don’t know. We talked about speaking German and I asked when you
two were going to have children.”

“You what?” Alex clenched his jaw. “Why would
you ask something like that?”

“Alex, your family always has lots of kids. I
figured you’d want to start sooner rather than later.”

Alex took a deep breath to keep from
exploding at Gretchen. She had no idea that it would be a sensitive
area for Anna. Maybe Gretchen was just trying to have a nice
conversation. “Anna has been told her whole life she can’t have
children, Gretchen. It’s a bit of a touchy subject with her.”

Gretchen laughed. “Her whole life? God, Alex,
she’s only twenty.” Her brow raised and she looked at him closely.
“How much fucking could she possibly have done?”

She was baiting him. She knew something. More
than she was supposed to. “What do you know about her,
Gretchen?”

“How would I know anything about her? I just
met her yesterday.”

Alex glared at her. “Then why are you so
hostile to her?”

It was Gretchen’s turn to glare. “Maybe
because it’s obvious that my husband is completely in love with
her. And Wilhelm too. Every man she comes in contact with looks at
her that way. She’s a fucking whore.”

“That’s my wife you’re talking about,
Gretchen. It’s not her fault that men look at her, desire her. And
your jealousy is very unbecoming.”

“So you don’t mind that your
wife
has fucked both your brother and your father?”

“The only reason you never fucked my father
is because he rejected you. I know you tried.”

Gretchen gasped. “How dare you!”

“Do you deny it? Kurt isn’t good enough for
you. You want me or my father for our titles. You think by sleeping
with us somehow you’ll gain some sort of privilege of rank? It
doesn’t work like that.”

“Better the mistress of an heir than the wife
of a second son,” she spat.

“You better consider where you are and who
you are talking to,” Alex warned. “Kurt loved you. That’s why he
married you. Did you marry him in order to get to me? Or my father?
If Mina hadn’t died, nothing would have ever happened between
us.”

“But it did, Alex. A lot happened between
us.”

Alex didn’t like the look on her face. “It
was sex, Gretchen. I’ve never had feelings for you.”

“Perhaps not. But I’m quite certain you would
have feelings for your son.” A triumphant smile spread across her
face. “Especially since you married a barren woman.”

Dread spread through Alex’s chest. “What are
you talking about? I have no son.”

“You do, Alex. Otto is your son.”

Alex felt like he’d been doused with ice
water and then hit in the chest. She couldn’t possibly be telling
the truth. “You’re lying.”

Gretchen shook her head. “I lied about the
due date. Otto wasn’t early, he was right on time. Kurt and I
hadn’t had sex in months when I got pregnant. I’d only been with
you. Of course, after I found out, I made sure Kurt and I were
together again. ” She stepped close and took his hand. “Maybe I’m
not such a bad thing, Alex. After all, I gave you a son.”

Alex was about to explode when a movement
caught his eye at the far end of the hallway. He turned to look and
saw a flash of white.
Anna!

Without another word to Gretchen, Alex ran
down the hallway toward the room where Anna had stayed the previous
night.

“Anna!” he called.

When he got to the end she was nowhere in
sight. He held his breath and listened. He heard footsteps on the
stairs and hurried around the corner to the top of the staircase.
He looked down and saw another flash of white.

“Anna!”

Anna hurried down the stairs back to the
library. She had seen the intimate moments between Gretchen and
Alex and didn’t need to see anymore.

Alex had the right to do whatever he wanted,
she told herself, trying to not cry. She just didn’t want to see
it. But what if Alex wanted her to see it?

She stopped at the bottom of the staircase.
Alex was her husband. She shouldn’t be running away from him. Devin
would be furious if Anna had run away from him. Surely Alex
wouldn’t like it either.

A moment later, Alex came up behind her and
with gentle hands turned her to face him. “Anna...,” he began and
then stopped himself. “I was looking for you.”

Anna searched his eyes. He wasn’t telling her
the truth. “I was in the garden, and then went through the library
to go upstairs. I....” She swallowed. “I’m sorry, Alex. I saw you
and Gretchen and I...I ran away. I shouldn’t have done that.” She
looked down at her hands.

Alex sighed. He was troubled, she could sense
it. He pulled her to him and held her against his chest, smoothing
her hair.

Anna didn’t resist, but didn’t relax into his
arms either. “Alex, if you want to be with Gretchen, don’t concern
yourself with me. I—”

“
Nein
, Anna,” he growled. “I have no
desire to be with Gretchen.”

“But you’ve been with her before.” It wasn’t
a question. She could see it in Gretchen’s body language.

“I won’t deny it, Anna. It didn’t mean
anything. She was convenient.” He spoke absently. “It was a year
ago.”

“You didn’t when you came back here?”

“
Nein
. Anna, the last woman I had
sex with was you.”

“It was only a few hours ago.”

Alex sighed. “I meant before we got married.
While I was here, if I needed release, I would go to the Schloss
for a blowjob, but I haven’t had sex with anyone else since I left
San Francisco.”

Anna looked up at him. “You haven’t?”

He cradled her cheek. “I haven’t wanted
anyone else.”

Guilt spread through Anna’s heart. “I have,”
she admitted sadly.

“Schatzi
, you were angry with me. I
know you dated Ben. I know you had to do things for Devin. I would
never hold anything like that against you. But once I met you...I
just never desired anyone else.”

Anna searched his eyes. He was being
truthful, but there was something wrong. She could feel the
discomfort in his heart. Almost as keenly as she felt pain in her
own heart.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, reaching up
to stroke his cheek. It was rough with the beginnings of a five
o’clock shadow.

Alex pressed his lips together. “
Kommen
Sie
,” he said, taking her hand and leading her into the
library. They sat on a bench next to a window and Alex seemed to be
fumbling for something to do with his hands. “Anna....” He inhaled
deeply. “Gretchen...told me something rather upsetting.” He looked
at her with sad eyes. “I don’t want to ruin our wedding day, Anna.
But I can’t hide trouble from you.” He smiled sadly at her. “You
can read me too well.”

“Is it what was bothering you at the sht...,”
she tried to remember the German name, but had to give up, “the
place we got married?”

He shook his head. “
Nein
,” he said
softly, then sighed deeply. “Anna, I don’t suppose you’d be willing
to wait until tomorrow to talk about it?”

Anna swallowed. “Whatever you would like,
Alex,” she said softly, lowering her eyes. She would be obedient
and quiet.

“Anna, I don’t want your day to be ruined,”
he said taking her hand in his. “I want you to have a good wedding
day.”

“Yes, Alex,” she whispered.

Why should today be any different from any
other day? Maybe it would just be better if she didn’t know at all.
It was very distressing for Alex; it must be very bad. Her fingers
felt raw and she rubbed the backs of them.

They sat silently for a few minutes. Alex put
his arm around Anna and hugged her to him. She stared at the floor
and wondered what would happen next.

“Alex? Oh, there you are. Where have you
been?” Greta walked through the double doors of the library,
cheerful as ever. It was a stark contrast to the somber mood of the
library. “
Mutti
wanted to know where you were. It’s time
for dinner.”

Alex glanced at Anna and smiled at her. She
gave him a nervous smile and stood when he did. He took her hand
and led her out of the library, down through a long formal sitting
room, past the garden, and into the biggest room she’d ever seen.
Anna stopped short in the arched entryway, amazed.

Along the walls, columns three stories high
and topped with statues of people supported a vaulted wooden
ceiling. Three enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the heights,
bathing the room in light. Arched windows high on the walls between
the columns let in the last traces of evening sun. An enormous
white marble fireplace took up most of the wall at one end of the
room, so large that a dozen people could easily stand inside.

In the middle of the room sat the largest
table Anna had ever seen. There were enough seats for Alex’s entire
family, children included. Despite Anna’s discomfort with Alex in
the library, she clung to his hand as he guided her to a seat to
the left of the head of the table, where Wilhelm sat. Alex sat
between herself and Wilhelm. Kurt and Gretchen sat across from
them.

Gretchen gave her a strange smile as she sat
directly across from Anna. She held Otto in her lap, kissed the
baby’s head and glanced pointedly at Alex, who was talking to his
father. Gretchen looked back at Anna with a haughty look and a
wicked smile.

A wave of nausea hit Anna as she somehow
understood what Gretchen was doing. No! It couldn’t be true. Alex
would have told her if he’d fathered a son with Gretchen.

Wait. Would he have? Was it any of her
business? No wonder Gretchen was so proud. She had given Alex
something that Anna would never be able to give him. Maybe this was
what he didn’t want to tell her. How would Alex be willing to go
back to the US if his son was here? Was this the real reason he
came back in the first place? She thought he’d been telling the
truth about why he came back and that he didn’t want Gretchen, but
maybe she’d read him wrong.

The look that Anna had seen on Alex’s face
when he looked at Gretchen in the hallway haunted her. It was full
of emotion; the same way he often looked at Anna.

Anna looked down into her lap and swallowed,
willing her stomach to get under control. She didn’t want to
embarrass Alex or make him regret marrying her even more. Surely he
couldn’t be happy about marrying her if Gretchen had his child. But
it would be difficult with her married to his brother.
Did
Alex have feelings for Gretchen?

Anna looked up to see Alex staring at Otto.
There was a longing in his eyes that stabbed at Anna’s heart. Of
course he wanted children. He needed children. He was the oldest
son. He had to have a son to pass his title to.

*****

Wilhelm watched Anna and Alex carefully.
Something was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what. They had been
so happy when they’d returned home earlier in the afternoon. What
had happened in between then and now? Alex kept looking at Anna
with concern. Had Alex told her she was pregnant?

Anna sat quietly with her eyes downcast. She
was so pale. Wilhelm sighed. She was acting like a slave again.
What had happened to make her feel inferior again? Was she ashamed
of her pregnancy?

He glanced at his son and noticed him staring
across the table at Gretchen. His eyes narrowed. If Alex started
things up with Gretchen again, he was going to have a serious talk
with him after dinner.

No...he wasn’t staring at Gretchen, he was
staring at...Otto? Was he mourning that Anna was having a child
that wasn’t his? Is that why they were having problems already?
Wilhelm knew Alex wanted children. He missed his little girl. But
there would be chances for other children after they’d rid Anna of
Devin’s control. They’d talked about it many times. He thought Alex
had come to terms with it. Maybe they needed to discuss it
again.