The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas) (11 page)

“Why
wouldn’t I come home?”

She
shrugged, still blushing. God, she was so beautiful it made his chest ache. “You
didn’t say goodbye today and after everything…I just didn’t think you’d want to
see me anytime soon.”

Boy,
she couldn’t be more wrong about that, he thought.

“You
can use my shower whenever you want.”

She
dipped her head, cinching the towel tighter around her chest. “Thanks. Well…”
she stood there awkwardly for a moment before she stepped out from behind his
broken door like she was taking a leap across an invisible boundary.

His
eyes dipped down along the towel. It stopped above her knees. With their size
difference, his towels looked like a damn robe on her, covering up way too
much. He made a note to buy smaller ones. Yeah, he wanted to see her that bad.

Still,
the sight he had wasn’t bad. She had tan skin like she had Hispanic blood in
her and smooth legs, a petite figure. Small. Would that mean she was tighter
too? His eyes slammed closed and he bit his lip to keep from cursing at the
thought.

Dirty
bastard, stop thinking with your dick.

Suddenly,
feet sprinted across the floor. What the fuck? His eyes sprang open, but almost
a moment too late. She ran at him and jumped.

The
towel dropped in the commotion. He caught her naturally. Hands wrapped around
wet, hot skin.

“What
the hell…” he said.

He
never got to finish what he was going to say because her hands flew to his face
and he froze like a block of ice.

No
way could she not feel the distortions. The shadows covered them in darkness,
but still he could see her eyes, the shape of her face, and the frown at her
lips.

“Don’t.”
He jerked his face back, dislodging her touch. He dropped her back down and she
took an unsteady step back.

“I
just wanted to—”

Irritation
swamped his vision. “Forget it,” he bit out, anger lacing his tightly controlled
words. He swept past her and slammed his busted ass bedroom door closed,
locking it for good measure.

How
could she?

She
touched it.

His
muscles tightened and flexed as rage coursed through him. Hard breaths pounded
out from his lungs like he’d been running up a damn mountain…in the snow…with
flippers on. He needed to crack his knuckles against something, beat something,
anything, to get his frustration out.

A
soft knock sounded at the door but he didn’t turn around. It came again, this
time a bit harder. He slammed his eyes closed and called for patience.

“Go
to bed, Alicia.”

There
was a moment of silence then he heard, “I’m sorry.”

Ah,
hell.

He
heard her door close a moment later. Only then did he let his emotions get the
better of him. He stalked to his bedroom door, fist curled into a hard ball,
then let it fly. His hand went straight through, splintering the wood.
Splinters stuck out from his hand like a cactus plant and blood beaded around
the small wounds.

How could
she betray him like that? How could she touch him?

Over
his loud breaths, he heard her door open. His jaw pulled tight.

“I
just wanted to kiss you,” she called out, almost as if
she
was the
frustrated one. Then her bedroom door closed again.

Fucking
hell.

CHAPTER 8

Hanna
MacKellen stared at her house from the driver’s seat of her white four-door
Civic. She loved that house. It was her own dream home—well, cabin actually. It
had a large kitchen, a great big tub in the master suite bath, lots of storage
space, and she even had her own grand office.

The
other reason she loved the house so much was for its location. Pack members
could choose nearly anywhere to set up a home as long as it was in their
territory. Hanna had wanted away from prying eyes. Though she was only a few
miles out of the pack’s center, the difference felt like being in farm life to
city life.

A hot
tear welled and she brushed it away with a trembling palm. No need to get out
of her car. Not when Tom’s wasn’t here. She didn’t need to check the time or
the date because in her gut and in her mind she already knew she was right.

Tom’s
car wasn’t here, which meant he was someplace else.

Maybe
he’d gotten a flat on his way home.

That
was bullshit and she knew it.

But
he said he wouldn’t do it anymore. He’d made a promise to her.

He
made lots of promises.

She
slammed her hand against the steering wheel. But this promise was different. He’d
really meant it. She could see the sincerity in his eyes. He hadn’t faked those
tears or all those sweets words about how much he loved her, about how bad he’d
messed up.

They’d
been together for four and a half years. That mattered. She wouldn’t just throw
it away so easily like Kaity wanted her to.

He
was her mate for heaven’s sake.

They
hadn’t had sex in over a year.

God,
had it really been that long? Yes, it had. Not for her lack of trying. Hell, it
almost seemed like the more she tried the more he shut down, until, a few months
ago when she just stopped trying. Her hand was her lover now.

Tom
was her mate, her
lumara
and he deserved another chance. Just one more.
She’d told him if he did it again she was gone.

Hot
pain broke her heart and the tears started flowing down her cheeks. She was
going to lose him. Somewhere deep inside her she knew it. The constant back and
forth, all the fighting, and even worse, all the non-fighting. After all, it
was hard to fight with someone who hardly came home anymore. It was like she
didn’t even matter.

How
did this all happen?

Wiping
the tears away, she started the engine and took off. It took her twenty minutes
to get to his office downtown. She parked in one of the only free spaces in
front of his building. Union Lab Corp towered before her—a thirty-story
building where Tom managed the financing department. That’s how they met. Both
CPAs, both had worked at Union Lab Corp until, at his encouraging, she became a
stay at home wife.

Yeah,
no kids to even parent. Just her, by herself taking the occasional freelance
CPA job.

She
kept herself busy with cleaning and cooking and her hobbies. Boy, she had lots
of them from dancing to painting to crocheting. She hated it. She feared she
might have the most boring life ever. When she’d broached the subject of having
a baby with Tom he’d nearly blanched. No wonder he wouldn’t touch her anymore, he
wouldn’t want to get her pregnant.

Bitterness
rose, and along with it, more tears. She brushed it all away.

This
was it. After this, she was ready for change. To actually do what she wanted to
do for a change instead of following along at his advice. She’d always wanted
to try bartending. Maybe she’d do that. She’d always wanted to ride a
motorcycle; maybe she’d buy one of them.

Looking
up, she found her reflection in the rear view mirror. Sad blue eyes stared back
at her and a lackluster haircut. She had gained weight since they got mated and
couldn’t seem to drop it no matter what she tried. She looked pitiful, she felt
pitiful, and it made her angry.

“I’m
done being like this,” she told herself. “After this, no more. No fucking more,
Hanna Sue Bower. You’re better than this and you deserve better.”

Taking
a deep breath, she nodded at her reflection then stepped out of her car. It
felt like déjà vu all over again. The last time she’d been in this building it’d
been under nearly the same circumstances. Only then she had come wearing a sexy
dress and matching high heels and a saucy smile thinking she’d surprise Tom
into a hot office quickie. Only, she’d been the one surprised.

Hanna
went into the building taking the elevator to the twelfth floor. The floor was
laid out like a fork with the reception area at the base and two halls leading
out on either side of it. They met in the back into one large office which was
Tom’s.

Linda’s
head popped up from the receptionist’s desk as Hanna stepped out of the
elevator. Immediately her brows flew to her hairline. Hanna flushed, remembering
what Linda saw the last time she’d seen Hanna. She’d been running away from Tom’s
office a sobbing mess and she even managed to smack into someone knocking their
papers everywhere and scattering them all over the floor. Her feet never stopped
though, just kept moving in her panic.

Now
she squared off with Linda whose face grew steadily redder and her eyes flashed
side to side.

Shit.

Even
after her little pep talk, Hanna realized now that she still had hoped. She
still had hoped that when she came up here it wouldn’t be like this.

Something
died inside her.

She
didn’t bother smiling. “I’ll be seeing Tom now.”

She
walked past the receptionist and kept going even as the young woman called
after her in a frantic voice. The hallway felt like an endless tunnel from a
horror movie. She found herself walking faster, until she speed walked the rest
of the way.

His
door was wooden with a gold nameplate on the front that read Thomas Bower, Financial
Manager, Oregon Division.

Hanna
felt like a wrecking ball as she came up to it, all unspent, anxious energy
needing a place to let loose. She grabbed hold of that stupid gold door handle
and turned it.

Locked.

“Who’s
there?” Tom called from inside.

Another
voice started whispering, a woman. Hanna gritted her teeth, kept her stare
blank and waited.

“God
dammit,” she heard him mutter.

The
lock turned and the door swung open.

Tom
pulled back in surprise, his dark eyebrows rising. “Hanna, what are you doing
here?”

Words
wouldn’t come to her. This was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be fully clothed.

“Who
is it?”

Tom
stepped back and Hanna saw Barbara Herrara sitting at his desk. She was a
middle-aged woman with a spare tire around her waist and happy round cheeks.
She also worked on this floor. Papers were scattered across his desk, laptops
were out and several empty coffee cups sat on the desk.

“Oh,
hey, Hanna. How are you?” Barbara asked, smiling.

Hanna
couldn’t speak, couldn’t even nod, could only look back up at Tom. His
expression said he knew exactly what she’d been expecting to find.

He
frowned, anger lighting his eyes. “Give us a sec, Barb.”

Not
smiling anymore, the older lady left them alone.

“What
the hell are you doing here, Hanna?” Tom asked, rubbing his forehead.

She
swallowed hard. “It’s late, you weren’t home. I called you and you didn’t
answer.”

He
laughed without humor. “So you, what, thought I was up here banging someone?”

Normally,
Hanna would bow down about now, apologize and hang her head as she baby-stepped
back to her car. But this was new Hanna now. She was going to start doing
things her way, for herself.

She
narrowed her eyes. “Not like I didn’t find you doing that very same thing
before, Tom.”

His
jaw clenched, tightened. “I told you already I’m done with that. When are you
going to get over it?”

Her
jaw fell open. “You told me that just last week. I’m sorry if it’ll take me a
little while to unsee you fucking another woman. Some, some slut!”

That
jaw snapped as he spoke. “She is not a slut. It was just a fuck. I made a
mistake. Are you going to hold this over my head forever? I fucked up.” He
lifted his arms in a
what-can-I-do
shrug. “It’s time to move on.”

No
she wouldn’t let this go. She shook her head. “Then why didn’t you answer you
cell today?”

His
eyes widened and he threw his arm back to showcase his messy desk. “Deadline, Hanna,
in case you didn’t notice. I didn’t think it was smart to leave my phone on
when it’s crunch time.”

Now
her jaw ground together. “Don’t belittle me, Tom. I’m not an idiot.”

His
cocked eyebrows said otherwise.

God,
she hated him sometimes. Hated him so much she just wanted to bang his head
into a glass wall until something broke.

“Then
why was your door locked?”

He
shrugged again, walking back to his desk, shaking his head. “What? I don’t
know. It just was.”

Her
stomach rolled with sickness; god, she was going to throw up. “A force of
habit, huh?”

Those
eyes she once thought were so beautiful locked on hers, pissed off. She
recognized that look. He was done. Well, so was she.

“No
more, Tom,” she said. Suddenly, all the fight went out of her like an exhausted
boxer after twelve long grueling rounds of taking a beating. She just wanted to
slide to the floor in a pile of goop.