The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas) (22 page)

Breathing
hard she leaned back against the door, heard a soft knock at the bedroom door.

“Alicia?
You okay, sweetheart?”

She
melted. He called her sweetheart in that damaged voice of his, and she liked
that he did too.

“I-I’m
fine,” she called through the door.

Then
she flicked on the bathroom light. Her heart raced She licked her dried lips,
ready to finally see the hidden photo, but she’d miscalculated—had no idea.

The
light lit up the room but it wasn’t the photo she was staring at but her face
in the mirror. Staring into a reflection of a face that couldn’t be hers.

She
cried out, hadn’t even meant to. It just happened.

Her
face was made up of a dozen or more cuts, some long and jagged, some smaller.
All were dark, ugly and red. White butterfly bandages littered her face like
little wings. They covered up her cheeks though didn’t completely hide the cuts
and gashes. More crisscrossed bandages covered the bridge of her nose, near the
corner of her mouth, several across her jaw and chin, and more on her forehead.

She
looked like she’d let a child stick bandages on her face for fun. There was no
order to it. Only chaos.

A quick
knock sounded behind her, making her jump. “Sweetheart, you okay in there? I’m
comin’ in.”

Her
eyes rounded at that and she quickly turned the lock on the door.

“Um,
no, I’m fine. Was just…startled that’s all.”

“Doc
Heather said you’ll be fine within two days or so. She said the bandages will
help to heal you even faster. No permanent damage,” he said gravely, like it
was important.

She
had to look away from the strange reflection staring at her. It was too weird.

That’s
when she remembered the photo frame in her hands.

Hands
surprisingly steady, she pulled the frame back and stared at the picture like
an art connoisseur devouring an original Monet.

Only
this wasn’t a Monet. It was a family photo in a rectangular frame. It looked
like a family reunion photo with the whole gang. It was maybe a few years old,
she guessed, judging by how young Hanna and Kaity looked. She couldn’t help but
smile at the sight of the MacKellens altogether.

She
found Jo, looking as big and burly as ever wearing a smirk. Hanna stood next to
a man Alicia assumed might be the piece of shit mate they’d trashed earlier
tonight. God, had that really happened tonight? She shook her head to clear it.

Kaity
looked very young, maybe twenty or so, wearing a huge, bright smile with her
arm draped around Will’s shoulder. Will had a big grin, but must have been
blinking as the photo had been taken.

Alicia
searched every face of every man hard, looking for one. Gavin had such a large
family and many of them she didn’t recognize. They could be the cousins he’d
mentioned or…

That
was him.

Holy
hell.

She’d
found him.

Her
heart jumped a beat.

That
was his face. She knew it, without a doubt.
This was Gavin MacKellen.

Handsome
as hell, a smirk on his bow-shaped lips, a scruffy beard along his jaw and
mouth. He didn’t have that now, she thought, remembering their kiss. She would
have felt the brush of hair around her mouth as they kissed. Scarring did that.
Hair couldn’t grow where there was scarring.

A
broad nose, crinkles around his eyes, smooth grooves in his forehead, and
russet hair with touches of gold and ginger in it.

Her
stomach fluttered like fairy’s wings.

Handsome
as hell. That described him. Even in the picture she could see the power in
him.

“What’d
you do?”

Alicia
blinked, jerking her head toward the door at the sound of Gavin’s voice.

“What?”
she called back.

He
didn’t answer. Worry spiked and she bit her lip as she stashed the photo in the
bottom of the sink cabinet. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands for
good measure, then braced herself and opened the door.

Her
face fell. Stomach bottomed through the floor.

Oh
fuck.

He
knew.

“I
can explain,” she started.

He
held up a hand. He was facing the bed, staring down at the corner of the box
protruding from underneath. Hell, there was even a line of dust that had come
out when she’d moved the box. Of course he would see it. He stayed in this room
every day. He would know when things were out of place.

“I’m
sorry.” She shrugged, unable to find words to explain. She was sorry but she
also wasn’t.

“You
wanted to know so badly,” he said, that hoarse voice giving away nothing, yet
making her tremble anyway. “Gotta know so damned bad, don’t you.”

“Gavin,
you’re scaring me.”

He
made a derisive sound, then spun on his heel and marched to the light switch on
the bedroom wall.

And
flicked it on.

Light
flooded the room and so did Gavin MacKellen’s face.

Fuck.

Nothing
could have prepared her. She flinched.

Scars,
distorted flesh like someone had filleted his skin. Little was left that had
made up the handsome face from the photo in the bathroom cabinet.

Those
beautiful blue eyes were narrowed in anger, his lips, those wonderful lips she’d
kissed with warmth were flat. He stalked to her, she backed up, hit the sink,
the counter digging into her as she gulped.

“Gavin,”
she tried again.

“Is
this what you wanted to see so fuckin’ badly, sweetheart?” The endearment sounded
crude and hurtful.

“I-I
wanted to know, yes. Why wouldn’t I?” she asked, defensive.

Holy
hell.

Something
bad had happened to him that night after the alpha challenge. Something
painful. Lykaens could heal fast from most wounds, but someone had done
something to keep his face from healing. Poured salt on it, maybe? On purpose.
Her stomach rolled at the thought. Did he know who did it and if he did, why
hadn’t he done anything to punish them?

He
laughed, a cruel, nasty sound. “Turn around.” When she didn’t move fast enough,
he did it for her, pressing her back against him. He jabbed a finger at her in
the mirror. “See that disgust on your face, that’s exactly what I knew would
happen. But you know, sweetheart. That’s not even what has me so mad I could
hit somethin’. Ask me what does.”

Blinking
rapidly, she stared at this man’s reflection, the once handsome man without a
real face. Oh, the broad nose was there, with a scar horizontal across it, and
jagged, dark pink lines covered his face, pinching and pulling the skin into
shapes it shouldn’t be. His lips were still there and normal, as she had seen
in the picture. Overall though, the change was huge.

“Ask
me what does,” he ordered quietly.

She
shook. “Wh-what does?”

His
jaw snapped and she heard his teeth clink together, and then he pushed her
aside and tore through the bathroom cabinets, slamming open drawers until he
found the frame.

“This.”
He held up the photo. “This is mine. My memories. If I wanted to share them
with you then I would have. You took that choice from me. Tell me, sweetheart,
are you happy now? Now you will always know what I had been and wish for that.
You’ll always look at me with pity and think ‘damn shame what happened to him,
he used to be fine.’ Now what do I get from you but this disgust and this pity
as you compare me to my former self. Well, let me say somethin’ to you, Alicia,”
he leaned in close. “You had no right.”

A
second later he did an about face and was out of the bathroom. The bedroom door
slammed closed, and she was left in silence.

Alicia
shook down to her knees. Tears came and she didn’t fight them. She looked down
at the stupid frame and threw it. It crashed against the wall, glass shattering
and she curled up into herself and cried.

Because
he was right and she didn’t know how to make things better.

CHAPTER 15

Gavin
left the house before Alicia woke up. Damn, but he felt old. Old and weary down
to his bitter bones. Who knew emotional pain could manifest into bodily pain?
Because it sure as hell did. His head hurt from the pounding headache beating
at his forehead. Even his ankles hurt and seemed to crack with every step he
took.

Didn’t
help that he’d slept on and off in the Alicia’s bedroom all night long. After
the fight, if that’s what one called what happened between them, he’d tried to
force his errant thoughts away. He’d tried not to think about her.

But
how the hell could he do that when her fuckin’ scent clung to the pillows and
sheets? When her things littered the room that were so very her—a spool of
thread on the dresser with a needle poking out of it, some colorful fabrics
stacked on the floor. Hell, even after he’d thrown the sheets and pillows off
the bed he could still smell her scent in the room.

So,
he’d slept like shit. Luckily, he got to go into work at seven in the morning
so he only had to toss and turn for a few measly hours before getting up again.

Walking
past that bedroom door though, knowing how he’d left her…hit him in the gut in
a bad way. He felt like an ass, a real giant ass. But damn if what she’d done
hadn’t hurt. That wasn’t how he’d wanted to show her. He was torn between
wanting leave for a while as he cooled off and going in there to make sure she
was warm.

She’d
stolen the choice out of his hands and it should have been his choice. He’d
wanted to show her on his time, not hers. It was his ugly face after all.

He
continued past his room that she slept in and left for the construction site.
Only after he’d lost himself in the smell of cedar, fresh poured concrete mixed
with the crisp mountain air, did the tight muscles in his shoulders begin to
relax.

That
didn’t keep his mind from working overtime though. Even while keeping his hands
busy, his thoughts kept running back to her.

It
was too soon. He hadn’t planned on her seeing his face yet. According to their
deal, she still had several weeks left here. How the hell was he supposed to
woo her now? The secret was out of the bag. He’d have to run with it.

Maybe
he should let her go already.
Never
, came the quick, primal response.

Even
if he was pissed at her, he knew he didn’t want her to leave. He liked her…really
liked her. He’d known it before he talked to her. It was like something had
just clicked when he saw her and after talking to her it only cemented his
decision. Something gentle but moving had shifted inside him. It made him feel
worthy and whole.

Then
he saw her quiet strength, heard about her hard work and creativity. And now he’d
learned so much more, whether he liked it all or not. Like her damned tenacious
curiosity, her terrible singing voice, her incredible gift for creating the
hottest lingerie he’d ever seen in his life, amazing cooking abilities, and her
kindness.

A truck
rumbled up the path dislodging him from his thoughts. Alex parked, hopping out
of the old beat-up pickup.

Gavin
nodded to him. “You’re here early.”

Alex
grinned, a sly smirk like he had a secret he was happy to keep. “Just one of
those days. Feelin’ good, you know?”

Gavin
grunted.

Alex
lit up a cigarette, laughing. “You look like shit if I say so myself. What’s
up?”

Another
grunt. He didn’t want to talk about it. At least, that’s what he told himself.
What came out of his mouth was a different thing.

“She
saw it.”
My face.

Dark
eyebrows rose. “Really?”

He
nodded and scrubbed a hand down his face. “Yeah, last night after the accident.”

Alex
grew still. “What accident?”

“You
haven’t heard? It was bad. Someone tried to kill Jo and Alicia. They rammed
into them in an SUV, even managed to get out of the pack before anyone could
stop them.”

“This
doesn’t look good at all. Two dead kids, now this. It all relates.”

“Yeah,
but how?”

“Someone
wants your woman dead.”

The
very same thought had crossed Gavin’s mind. “What makes you think they weren’t
after Jo?”

Alex
shrugged. “Hey, Jo’s been livin’ here for years doing the same ole’ shit and
nothin’ like this has ever happened before. Then, suddenly you got that woman
here and you got two kids dead and an attempt on
her
life.”

Gavin
tensed. “She can’t have anything to do with Emma and Anthony’s death.”

“Nah,
I didn’t mean like that. That’s a mere coincidence that she got here right when
that happened. What isn’t a coincidence is that whoever was in that SUV was
trying to kill Alicia, not Jo.”