The Lonely Hearts Club (33 page)

Immediately, Reilly rose and pulled Liz close. “What is it? Does something hurt?”

Liz clung to her, struggling for words. “I’m going to come. Any second, and I want you to be holding me when I do.”

“Let’s lie down,” Reilly said, her arm around Liz’s waist. She guided her to the bed and unbuttoned her blouse. She removed it, and Liz’s bra, and stretched out on the bed, bringing Liz with her. Then, as they faced each other, their bodies touching, she eased her arm behind Liz’s shoulders and held her. Then, she reached down to slip her fingers between Liz’s thighs.

“Oh,” Liz gasped, arching into Reilly’s embrace. “That’s…you’re…wonderful.”

Reilly dipped her head, catching a blood-flushed nipple in her mouth. She sucked rhythmically, in time with her long, firm strokes over Liz’s heated flesh. When Liz cried out, her body trembling, Reilly held her breath to absorb every note of pleasure, to memorize every tremor of release. Her own body felt wound so tight she feared she might shatter.

Liz covered Reilly’s hand, stilling her motion but keeping Reilly’s fingers pressed tightly to her slowly pulsing flesh. She felt so vulnerable, so open and unprotected, that she needed Reilly’s touch to ensure that she wasn’t adrift, alone and unanchored in some endless star-filled sky.

“Don’t go,” Liz whispered.

“No,” Reilly answered, kissing her forehead, and her mouth. “I won’t.” Reilly fumbled beside them, found the edge of the comforter, and pulled it over them. “Are you all right?”

Liz burrowed her face in the curve of Reilly’s neck. “I’m not sure. I’ve never had an orgasm like that.”

Reilly held her more tightly. She had been so afraid of hurting her, and she had tried to be gentle. She was sick with worry that she’d done something wrong. “Are you having cramps? Pain of any kind?”

“What?” Fuzzy-headed, Liz pulled away and searched Reilly’s face, instantly seeing the anxiety in her eyes. “Oh no. Baby, no.” She kissed Reilly, hard and deep, sliding one thigh between Reilly’s legs. Reilly let herself be pushed onto her back and Liz rolled on top of her. Liz framed Reilly’s face and ran her thumbs over Reilly’s cheekbones, smoothing away the frown lines. “I feel incredible. Amazing. I feel like I came with my soul, not just my body.”

“Are you sure?”

“God yes. I’m fine. Fabulous.” Liz slid off to one side and propped her chin in her hand. Lazily, she trailed her fingers over Reilly’s stomach, smiling with satisfaction at Reilly’s sharp intake of breath and the tightening of her abdominal muscles. “I haven’t had a lot of orgasms lately, but I remember exactly how they feel.” She leaned over and kissed Reilly, inching her fingers lower, stopping just at the top of the delta between her thighs. “And this one was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

“Maybe,” Reilly said, her voice husky, “it’s different because…you’re pregnant.”

“Maybe. And maybe not.” Liz delicately licked Reilly’s nipple and laughed as Reilly’s body quivered like a bowstring. “You like that?”

“Yes.”

“What else do you like?”

“I like it when you’re on top of me.”

“Mmm,” Liz murmured. “I like that too.” She circled her fingertips against the base of Reilly’s clitoris. Reilly moaned. “You like this too?”

“Very much.”

Liz nestled into the curve of Reilly’s body and settled her cheek against Reilly’s chest. “I want to listen to your heartbeat while you come.”

Reilly caressed Liz’s back. “You can have anything you want.”

Somewhere deep in her consciousness, Liz knew this was true. Reilly would give her whatever she asked for, and take as little or as much as she offered. Reilly had given her the one thing she’d never had with Julia—complete and utter honesty. Liz didn’t know if that frightened her or exhilarated her. But right at this moment, the only thing she wanted was to give Reilly the pleasure that Reilly had given her. She wanted to be as close to Reilly as she could be, with no doubts or fears or uncertain tomorrows between them. She wanted this perfect moment, and she believed that she deserved it. That Reilly deserved it. The morning would be time enough for questions and reason and rationalization. Right now, the truth existed for her only in the pure, unselfish beat of Reilly’s heart.

“I want to give you what you gave me,” Liz whispered, slipping inside her. “Let me please you.”

Eyes closed, Reilly stroked Liz’s hair and opened herself to Liz’s passion. And when she could hold no more, she spilled over, crying out Liz’s name.

Liz opened her eyes in the dark quiet bedroom and tried to identify the sound that had awakened her. Reilly spooned behind her, her arm around Liz’s waist. Liz covered Reilly’s hand where it rested against her lower abdomen, liking the possessive way Reilly held her. Then she stiffened as she heard a strange tapping again, as if someone were trying to get in the window. However, considering her apartment was quite a few stories above street level, the only possible visitor would be Spiderman.

“What’s wrong? Reilly mumbled, kissing the back of Liz’s shoulder.

“There’s something…thumping.”

“Beeper.” With a sigh, Reilly rolled away and stumbled from the bed toward the bathroom. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Liz said, sitting up. “God, it’s three thirty in the morning. Who would call now?”

“I’m backup.” Reilly located her beeper on the shelf above the sink and checked the readout, although she didn’t have to. There would be only one place trying to reach her at this hour. “Can I use your phone? I left my cell in my glove compartment.”

“Of course.” Liz snapped on the bedside lamp and blinked against the glare. Then she stared. Reilly was naked. And gorgeous. Liz’s body went to full alert.

Reilly sat down next to her and punched in numbers. A moment later, she said, “This is Dr. Danvers. The trauma unit is looking for me.”

Liz stroked Reilly’s back and listened to the one-sided conversation while Reilly asked terse questions. She still couldn’t quite believe that she had woken up in Reilly’s arms. Or that she’d fallen asleep holding her. When she realized Reilly was about to leave, she wanted to wrap her arms around her and keep her there forever. She feared the morning. She feared the rational light of day. She feared that Reilly would be sorry. She wondered why
she
wasn’t, and worried if she should be.

Reilly hung up the phone, lifted the sheets, and slid underneath. She pulled Liz into her arms and kissed her. “When I was a brand new resident, the first night my chief resident left me alone on call he said two things to me. The first was, ‘Call me if you need anything.’ The second was the mantra, ‘Remember, to call for help is a sign of weakness.’”

“Did you ever call for help?” Liz brushed the hair back from Reilly’s forehead and fit her leg between Reilly’s. Reilly’s hips lifted as if to welcome her, and her pulse soared.

“Damn right I did. Pride has no place when lives are at stake.” Reilly kissed Liz again. “Or love.”

Liz caught her breath. Her skin was on fire and her body was melting. “Do you have to go?”

“One of my partners just informed me that patients are stacking up like cordwood. They just opened a second OR room for me.”

“Are you all right? Tired?”

Reilly grinned. “I feel great.” She nuzzled Liz’s neck. “If I didn’t have two open tibias and a shattered shoulder to deal with, I’d show you just how not tired I am.” She groaned softly. “God, you feel so good.”

“What I said earlier,” Liz said, “about casual and no strings?”

Reilly grew still. “Yes?”

“I said what I thought I should be feeling. It wasn’t really what I wanted to say.”

“What did you want to say?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’ve never felt so safe with anyone before. I’ve never felt as wanted. I’ve never been this excited by anyone’s touch.”

“From the day we met,” Reilly said, “I haven’t been able to think of anything except you.”

“I think I might already be past casual, and I’m a little afraid of what that means.”

Reilly caressed Liz’s cheek. “What are you afraid of?”

Liz marveled at how easy Reilly made it for her to voice her uncertainties. She trusted Reilly not only to listen, but to tell her the truth. Even if the truth would shatter the dreams she was just daring to imagine. “I’m afraid you’ll change your mind about seeing me—that maybe you won’t want me when I’m a lot more pregnant than I am now.”

“Why do you think that?” Reilly asked gently.

“You said you didn’t want children with Annie, and you were in a relationship…in love with her. We’re nowhere near that stage and—”

“Liz,” Reilly whispered, “you’re not Annie.”

“We need to talk about her,” Liz said.

“I know. I—” Reilly cursed under her breath when her beeper went off again.

“It’s okay. Answer it.”

“That’s the OR telling me they’re bringing the patient up. I’ll call them from the car. I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“No. Go. We’ll talk later.”

Reilly jumped from bed and pulled on the sweatpants and T-shirt Liz had offered her earlier. “I’ve got a full load in the OR tomorrow, and tomorrow night is Sean’s black belt test. I’ll be going right to the dojang from the hospital. Then Tuesday night I’m on first call.” She ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “I’ll call you the minute I have a chance. We’ll talk. I promise.”

“I understand. I’m swamped at work too.” Liz got out of bed and found her blouse in the jumble of clothes on the floor. Trying to sound casual, she said, “Don’t worry if you can’t call. How about Friday night? Maybe dinner?”

“That sounds great, but Friday’s a long ways away.” Reilly strode to Liz and pushed both hands into Liz’s hair, cradling her head as she kissed her. “Too long.”

Liz smoothed her hands over Reilly’s shoulders, wanting to pull her back to the bed. “I don’t mind if you drop by for a quickie before then.”

Reilly grinned. “So it’s all about the sex, huh?”

“Absolutely. Is there anything else?”

“Oh yeah,” Reilly whispered, holding Liz tightly. “A whole lot more.”

“Then I’ll see you Friday.” Liz kissed the tip of Reilly’s chin. “Besides, a little anticipation is a good thing.”

*

By Thursday, Liz knew she was in trouble. Her concentration was terrible. Every fifteen or twenty minutes while pretending to work at her desk, she glanced at the clock, wondering what Reilly was doing. If the phone rang, she lunged for it only to be disappointed when it was her secretary reminding her of a meeting that she had invariably forgotten about. The two times Reilly managed to call her, their brief conversations had left her both exhilarated and frustrated. She felt slightly crazed. The sound of Reilly’s voice over the phone aroused her. She kept remembering how unbelievably good Reilly’s mouth felt on her.

“That’s it,” Liz muttered, tossing aside the case file she had been reviewing. She still had an hour before lunch with Candace and Bren, but she had to get up and walk around. If she stayed at her desk thinking about making love with Reilly, she’d be too physically uncomfortable to get any more work done anyhow. A walk from her office on Market Street across campus to the tavern would do her good.

Forty minutes later she was hungry and ready to see her friends. She still longed for a glimpse of Reilly, though, and finally admitted that even one more day was just too damn far away. She called Reilly’s cell and went to voice mail.

“I know you’re probably in the OR all day, but please come by the apartment tonight if you can. I miss you.”

Just as she crossed the street to the restaurant, her cell rang and she snatched it off her belt, hoping Reilly had gotten her message. “Hello?”

“Good,” Julia said, “I finally caught you between court and meetings. Let’s have lunch.”

Liz stopped on the sidewalk and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she said in what she hoped was a reasonable voice, “I’m sorry. That’s not possible.”

“I can pick you up in half an hour. I’ve got reservations at Nightingale’s. They’re holding a private table for us so we can talk.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about. You should have received the signed documents on the condo and—”

“I moved out of her apartment Saturday afternoon. I’ve been staying in a hotel.”

Liz felt nothing at the announcement. “I don’t see—”

“I want to move home. I know you’re angry—”

“You’re not moving home. It’s not our home anymore.” Liz sighed and started walking again. “And I’m not angry. I’m sad. I’m sad and I’m tired and I don’t have anything else to say.”

“I do. I have things to say. I want to apologize, and I want you to listen to reason. You’ve always been reasonable.”

“I’m sorry, Julia,” Liz said, as she slowed outside the tavern. Candace smiled and waved to her through the window. Bren, who sat across from her in her usual place, mouthed hello. The familiarity of the moment warmed her. “I’ve already got lunch plans. Good-bye.”

Liz closed her cell phone, pushed through the doors, and made her way to the booth. “God, it’s good to see you two.”

“It’s only been three days,” Candace pointed out. “Missed you, too.”