Authors: Gladys Mitchell
âWell, sir, what was she up to, arriving on a milk train at that hour in the morning?'
âWell, that's the time milk trains run, I suppose,' said the inspector mildly. âBesides, the young woman's a freak. Chelsea art student and all that sort of thing.'
âImmoral,' said the sergeant, shaking his head. âA bad lot, them art students, sir. You mark my words. I'm a Battersea man myself, and know a thing or two about them. No idea of what's right and what's wrong. That's my experience.'
âOf course,' said the inspector, ignoring these remarks, âthere's the chance she may have seen or heard something as she came across the grounds. But, if the murder was committed round about ten o'clock, you see, well, I mean, between three and four o'clock next morning you can't say there's much doing, can you? Still, as you say, we might as well see what she's got to say.'
Kost was sitting in front of his hut with his legs stretched in front of him and his arms behind his head; he was staring up at the sky, which was coloured with the mild blue of April. At his feet a small cat was playing with the laces of his boots, which were unfastened. He took no notice of the police when they approached, but continued to stare heavenwards. The inspector addressed him.
âFinished work for the day, Mr Kost?' he enquired politely.
Kost grinned good-naturedly.
âI've never finished work in this place,' he said. âCan I do something for you, perhaps?'
âYou can tell us what you were doing up at the house at about one o'clock in the morning last Saturday,' said the inspector, grimly regarding him.
Kost leapt to his feet and sent the chair reeling back against the wooden side of the hut.
âWhat do you mean?' he shouted. âYou are not believing I had any connection with this murder, perhaps?'
âSteady, Mr Kost,' said the inspector coolly. âI haven't mentioned the murder, so far as I know. Will you answer my question?'
âI am not inclined to answer any questions,' grumbled the fair-haired trainer, restraining his excitement and lowering his voice to its normal tone. âI know nothing. I have seen nothing. As for being up at the house on Friday night or Saturday morning eitherâno, I was not there. Do you wish me to swear it, perhaps?'
âYou were not there? But supposing someone actually saw you?' The inspector's tone was gentle, but he watched the man's face closely. It did not change, except for a slight tightening of the skin over the jaw.
âSaw nothing.' Kost's tone was at once resentful and contemptuous. âYou should send them to buy some spectacles, perhaps. I was not there.'
âWhere were you?'
âI was here.'
âAt nine o'clock?'
âSo.'
âAt ten o'clock?'
âI was not here at ten o'clock.'
âAh! Where were you at ten o'clock?'
âI was drinking a glass of stoutâoatmeal stoutâat the inn. That was at half-past nine, about. I finish my drinkâgood stuff, that!âand I return. I return at a quarter or twenty past ten. There is a noise in the sunk garden as I come in at the gate to the grounds over there. I go to look. It is the man who is dead. I call to him to go home or he will be locked up. He tells me to go to the devil. I take him by the neck and run him back to the gate and push him into the road. I shut the gate. I listen. No sound. I think he has fallen into the ditch, perhaps. Right place for a drunken man who beats his wife. I hope the ditch is nice and wet. I hope he will have rheumatism after that. Then I go back to my hut and I sleep well. The stout makes me sleep well. Good stuff, that stout.'
The sergeant, who had taken down the whole of this statement in shorthand, glanced at the inspector.
âThank you, Mr Kost,' said the latter smoothly. âYou are sure of all the times you mentioned? What about the last one?'
âWell, I leave the inn at about twenty minutes to ten. That is to say, at twenty minutes to ten by my time, but at ten minutes to ten by their time. I compared the clock in the bar with my watch, and they say ten minutes apart, so I believe my own.'
The usual idiosyncrasy of a public-house clock in being ten minutes fast, if not more, was well known to both inspector and sergeant, and they nodded without speaking, and waited for Kost to go on.
âWell, I have my wristwatch with its luminous dial, and I think the night is fine, and so I will go for a brisk walk, perhaps. I walk the other way of the road, out towards Warlock Hill for a quarter of an hour, then I look at my watch and it says five minutes to ten. Then I return and I walk fast and I computeâa quarter of an hour back to the inn, and from the inn to the gate about six minutes at that pace, then from the gate to the sunk garden to see why the noiseâand I arrive at the conclusion that it was between a quarter and twenty past ten when I find the man Hobson. That is Q.E.D., perhaps?' He grinned triumphantly.
âPerhaps it is,' said the inspector, turning to go. âAnd perhaps it isn't,' he added to the sergeant as they returned to the house. âAnything strike you about that yarn of his?'
âWell,' replied the sergeant, treading cautiously. âHobson
might
'ave been murdered by somebody in the road and brought 'ere afterwards.'
âThen what about the blood in the unfinished fishpond in the sunk garden? Why no blood on the gravel path? And why, in the name of goodness, all the rest of the fandango? Why not kill him and be done with it? Why tie him to the statue and chuck him in the lake? Oh, and that's another thing, sergeant. How
did
the murderer get the body out that far? I've thought myself sick, tired, and silly over that. Of course, the way I look at it, we can cut out the village people to a man. Even if there was a possible suspect among 'emâwhich there isn't at presentâI should only follow him up as a matter of routine, and not from real conviction that he might have done it.'
âYou mean this 'ere is a toff's job, sir?'
âI do. What's more, it's somebody in this house.'
âWhat
about
Kost, sir? He's a foreigner, you know.'
âYes,' said the inspector, allowing to pass unchallenged the usual English implication that foreigners are always either lunatics or criminals or both, âbut the motive?'
âWell, what might any of their motives be, come to that, Mr Bloxham?' said the sergeant, with great earnestness. âYou see, sir, it all comes back to this: we ain't found no one with a motive except that sixpenn'orth of misery down in the village, poor little cat. And, as you said yourself,
she
hadn't either the brains or the gutsâalthough'âhe paused as a new thought struck himââshe might 'ave helped
someone else
do it! The whole job, as I see it, would be a sight easier for two than for one, sir.'
Inspector Bloxham nodded.
âThat's an idea I've had for a few hours myself,' he said. âWe'll get on to Mrs Hobson again when I've worked through the household here. Personally, that young Anthony doesn't impress me very favourably. And the fact also remains, sergeant, that this is his home, and so he'd be bound to know Hobson a good deal better than the other people here in the house.'
âDirty work between him and Mrs Hobson,' said the sergeant, nodding wisely. âWell, she's not been a bad-looker in her time, I should judge. Stranger things 'ave happened, and will happen again with human nature what it is today, sir.'
With this sententious remark he followed the inspector through the doorway of the sunk garden, and they mounted the steps to the house.
âWell, inspector,' said Miss Caddick, fluttering to meet them, âhave you made your arrest? I do
hope
we shall soon be out of this terrible suspense and trouble. I declare I shall soon
give up
going to bed at night. I seem to become more and more nervous as time goes on.'
âWell, Miss Caddick,' replied the inspector, âI hope you will soon be at peace again. The only suspect so far is Mrs Hobson, but we hope to complete our case shortly now. Could I get hold of Miss Amaris Cowes, do you think?'
âOh, but inspector!' Miss Caddick clasped her hands in affected consternation and horror. â
She
knows nothing of this dreadful affair! She did not arrive here until four o'clock the next morning. By a
milk train
! Are not the modern young women extraordinary!'
âPrecisely,' replied the inspector, following her into the dining room and selecting a chair.
Amaris Cowes seemed to have been gardening. She was wearing breeches and gaiters, enormous shapeless gloves consisting of a compartment of honour for the thumb and one large roomy bag for all the fingers, very muddy bootsâthe property of Clive Brown-Jenkins, as her brother took a size smaller than she didâand a trenchcoat which smelt strongly of dogs, and was the kennel jacket of Timon Anthony.
She seated herself gingerly on the edge of a chair and gazed serenely at the inspector.
âYes, I did really come on the milk train. It gets into Market Longer just about three,' she said. âThe stationmaster will remember me, I expect. He said I was a stowaway and must pay my fare.'
âOh,' said the inspector, nonplussed. âAndâerâwhat did you say?'
âI said nothing. I never waste words. I pushed him out of my way and came here.'
âOh?' said the inspector, for the second time.
âI shall report you, my man, for insubordination,' added Amaris, staring at the sergeant with disconcerting gravity. âYou are grinning at your superior officer.'
âAnd you don't knowâyou had no knowledge of the man Hobson before you came down here?' asked the inspector hopelessly.
Amaris Cowes laughed.
âI suppose you are expected to ask people that sort of thing,' she said. âIt must be awfully trying. No, I knew nothing of the man until I heard that he was dead. Oh, and my hobbies are painting and gardening, my birthday is in September, and my favorite colour is tomato-red. I was born in the year that Thingummy won the Derby. They wore them mottled that season, you remember; and my published works include the
Encyclopedia Britannica
and
Barnaby Rudge
. Oh, and I spent the night in the gymnasium,' she added.
Joseph Herring scratched his jaw. Then he counted the rabbits again.
âThere's the two white Angoras and two lots of Flemish Giants, three in each 'utch,' he said to himself, screwing up his apelike visage and squinting through the wire mesh. âBut there's only two Belgian 'ares. Now, what can you make o' that?'
He opened the hutch and lifted them out. There could be no doubt about it. There were only two. Joe apostrophized them softly, as they tentatively explored the grass at his feet.
âNow, why the 'ell can't you let me know what's 'appened to your brother, drat you! 'E could 'ave nibbled 'is way out of the bâ 'utch. Yes. I knows that. But 'e couldn't 'ardly turn round and block up the 'ole be'ind 'im, could 'e! What's the game? And what 'ad I betterâoh, cripes! 'Ere comes the old gal!'
The bathchair, propelled this time by Miss Caddick, and attended by Celia Brown-Jenkins in a canary-coloured frock, and by Priscilla Yeomond in a green one, came slowly up the paved path of the kitchen garden. A cluster of gooseberry bushes hid Joe's nefarious activities from view, so that by the time that Great-aunt Puddequet came within sight of the rabbit hutches there was only one Belgian hare on the ground.
The other, in a large spare hutch covered with a piece of clean sacking, was probably wondering what had happened to him.
Great-aunt Puddequet's rabbits were one of her chief diversions, and Joe, as rabbit-fancier-in-chief, was a marked man. His employer regarded him with a mixture of dark suspicion and grudging respect. She sensed that his passion for rabbits was inferior to her own. In knowledge of their needs and habits, however, she realized that he was distinctly her superior. She leaned forward and addressed him.
âKeeper!'
âYes, mam?'
âExhibit the animals.'
âVery good, mam.'
âThis Flemish Giant, keeper, is getting a little too thin.'
Joe, immediately recognizing stolen property, smiled in tolerant good-humour.
â'E 'as missed you, mam. 'E's bin pinin' away.'
âExplain yourself.' Great-aunt Puddequet looked pleased.
âIt's this way, mam. Ever since you took such a fancy to that there bit of sunk garding t'other side the 'ouse, seems as if that rabbit knowed it. Don't seem to take to 'is food nor nothink. I dessay 'e'll be as right as rain
now
.'
Great-aunt Puddequet stroked the blue-grey creature's long ears, and gave it back into Joe's large, gnarled hands.
âNow the Angoras, keeper,' she suggested. Joe, on safe ground here, handed them out. They were nervous and scrabbly, however, so that she very quickly had them put back into their hutch.
âAnd now,' said Great-aunt Puddequet in pleased anticipation, âfor my dear little Belgians, keeper.'
Joe coughed discreetly, and handed out a solitary little bunny.
âBeg pardon, mam,' said Joe, âbut I took the opportunity with the other two, seeing that they was that way inclinedâ' He jerked his head suggestively towards the covered hutch and winked solemnly.
âEnough, keeper. Refrain from indelicacy. Nothing is gained by loose conversation. You have done very creditably, keeper.'
The bathchair moved on, and disappeared. Joe took out his handkerchief and wiped his face. Then he removed the sacking from the large spare hutch and tenderly returned the solitary little Belgian hare to his companion.
âAnd where the 'ell your bâ brother 'as gorn, 'as me licked,' he confided to the pair of them. âSeems like I'll 'ave to find you another. But it'll 'ave to be a sister if I'm to keep me end up with the old gal.'