The Magykal Papers (23 page)

Beetle's
INSPECTION CLERK DAYBOOk

O. BEETLE BEETLE’S VERY OWN HISTORY OF THE ICE TUNNELS

(work in progress)

Dear readers,

You may wonder why no one has ever told you about the Ice Tunnels. Well, you are not alone. Even though I am the Ice Tunnel Inspection Clerk, no one has ever told
me
anything either. But here is some stuff I have worked out.

• 1.
  The Ice Tunnels used to be just tunnels without ice.
  
• 2.
  In the old days, officials used the Tunnels to travel around the Castle underground.
  
• 3.
  Almost the entire Castle is connected by the Tunnels. Weird…
  
• 4.
  The Tunnels were sealed by the Emergency Freeze. This happened so fast that thirty-nine people were trapped
  

MY SLED

ADD AERODYNAMIC WINGS ONTO THE BACK.

ADD A POINTED NOSE TO THE FRONT FOR MORE SPEED.

SEP'S SLED

WIZARD TOWER SLED

THE ICE TUNNELS

ONCE-A-WEEK INSPECTION DUTIES:

Travel the Ice Tunnels on Manuscriptorium Sled.

Check that all the hatches remain
Sealed.

Report any suspicious hatches, e.g., with clear ice indicating recent
ReSealing.

ONCE-A-MONTH INSPECTION DUTIES:

Travel every tunnel, even those without hatches.

Test ice samples at specified areas.

Report to CHS.

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS:

Always secure sled, as it will wander off if left unattended.

Do not breathe in while Ice Wraith passing.

Always inform duty scribe of time expected to return.

Always
ReSeal
hatch to Manuscriptorium.

BEETLE’S ICE TUNNEL INFO

FAVORITE SPOT:
The high slope on the way to the Van Klampff Hatch. The perfect spot for the Reverse Whizz jump.

LEAST FAVORITE SPOT:
The tunnel to the Palace kitchen hatch. Too thin for any tricks. Also feels creepy.

GHOSTS:
Usual mix of officials, Wizards and tramps. Avoid those trapped in Emergency Freeze if you can. Some of them are still panicking. Not nice.

ICE WRAITHS:
The worst is Moaning Hilda. Hold your breath as she goes past or she’ll freeze the breath inside you. Cover your ears or she’ll burst you r eardrums. Other Ice Wraiths much less powerful.

MOANING HILDA

BEST SLED MOVES

JUMP:
Free catching air at the top of a steep hill.

DECK-UP:
Riding on the rear edges of the runner.
Backwards alley:

BACKWARDS ALLEY:
Riding backward.

SPIN REVERSE WHIZZ:
Once around and then coming to a stop with a backward slide.

DOUBLE SPIN REVERSE WHIZZ:
Twice around and then coming to a stop with a backward slide.

BACKWARDS ALLEY SPIN-AROUND WHIZZ:
Coming to a stop from the backward position, then with a spin at the end and a sliding stop. The best!!!

JILLIE DJINN ALWAYS SCOLDS ME WHEN I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME IN THE ICE TUNNELS.

PAPERS FROM
A
ROUND THE
C
ASTLE

M
R. AND
M
RS
. G
RINGE OF THE
N
ORTH
G
ATE
G
ATEHOUSE

GRINGE, THE GATEKEEPER

No one in the Castle knows Gringe’s first name—or so he thinks. But the writer of these biographies has done her best to find out as much for her readers as possible. She can reveal here that the keeper of the North Gate gatehouse once answered to the name of Augustus—although he no longer does so, as the writer found out last week. In fact the writer strongly recommends that you do
not
use this form of address if you want to use the North Gate drawbridge.

Augustus Gringe is married to Theodora Gringe. They met in the Port and came to the Castle for a better life. At first they had a hard time and lived in a ramshackle shelter beneath the Castle wall. When Rupert was born, Gringe was determined to do better for his family. One day, when the Bridge Boy at the North Gate was injured by a loose chain, Gringe helped out. It was not long before his strength and reliability were noticed and he was asked to be stand-in Gatekeeper. Two years later, when the Gatekeeper retired, Gringe took over and at last his family had a proper roof over their heads.

The Gringes now have two children, Rupert and Lucy. Gringe is proud of what his son, Rupert, is doing and often talks about him, but he refuses to discuss his daughter, Lucy. Mrs. Gringe has been known to tell her closest friends that her husband has never gotten over Lucy running off with Simon Heap. He worries that Lucy will never forgive him for locking her up in the gatehouse after the Custodian Guards dragged her back from the Chapel, where she and Simon had secretly gone to get married.

Gringe is not a big fan of the Heap family. Gringe does not trust Wizards, he thinks that
Magyk
is “an easy way out of yer troubles” and he also had no end of problems with the high-spirited Heap boys playing Chicken on the drawbridge when they were little. When he asked Silas Heap to stop them, Silas just laughed and told him, “Boys will be boys.” After Lucy attempted to elope with Simon Heap, Gringe’s dislike of the Heaps increased.

But since Gringe realized that Silas did not approve of Simon either and saw how worried he and Sarah were about their children, he has felt some sympathy for the Heaps. The turning point came when Gringe found out that Silas had a
Magyk
set of Counter-Feet (Gringe’s favorite game and his one exception to his dislike of
Magyk
). Gringe has now decided that Silas Heap is not so bad after all, although when asked by this biographer if they were friends, he refused to answer and went off to yell at the Bridge Boy.

THEODORA GRINGE

Known to all as Mrs. Gringe, Theodora has been the driving force behind the Gringe family’s reversal in fortune. When the family was existing in their ramshackle shelter below the Castle wall, it was Theodora who told Gringe that the Bridge Boy had had a terrible accident and he must get down there
right now
and lend a hand. Gringe did not see why he should, but Mrs. Gringe did. And she was right.

Mrs. Gringe looks after the accounts at the gatehouse and makes sure the money is clean before it is put in the gatehouse coffers. Once a month she supervises its transport to the Castle Treasury, where Gringe’s salary is paid and the rest of the money is used for repairing the Castle wall and maintaining the bridge.

Now that her children have—to her regret—left home, Mrs. Gringe has started the Café la Gringe. It has, however, not been well-reviewed in the influential
Egg-on-Toast Restaurant Guide
. Mrs. Gringe may still find herself washing more money than knives and forks.